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A Booklover's Guide to Agony

Posted on 2/21/2025

I just received a call from our Head of School stating our 8 year old son threatened another child at school. This is completely out of character for him and when asked about he said"he let his...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Education, Elementary School, Emotions, Juvenile Antisocial Behavior, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, School Behavior Issues, School Issues, Socialization/Social Skills

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When asking doesn't work

Posted on 2/1/2025

Most evenings when we ask my daughters to clean up (6.5 and 4.5 years old) the 4 year old does one or all of the following; whine, says she can't do it, says it's too much, gets distracted, slowly...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Mental Health, Parent Leadership and Authority, Post Modern Psychological Parenting, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Self-Esteem, Socialization/Social Skills, Woke Parenting

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Tattling vs important information- 4 yro

Posted on 12/3/2024

At what point should we discipline for tattle telling? Our 4 year old loves to tell us when our 1-year old is doing something "wrong." My problem is that sometimes the information she gives me is...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Homeschooling, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Socialization/Social Skills

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From 2 year old bully to well behaved boy

Posted on 11/19/2024

Our 2 yr son has been struggling with lots of hitting, pulling hair, pushing, poking, grabbing (until his sister is screaming), biting, etc. towards anyone who displeases him. His 3 yr sister gets...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Play, Seasons of Parenting, Socialization/Social Skills

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Demanding Eye Contact from a Toddler - Yes? No?

Posted on 8/29/2024

I’m currently reading the well behaved child. My son turns 3 in October. It says not to micromanage and say “look at me when I’m talking to you” but I would like my children to look at someone in...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Mom Concerned About Neighborhood Playtime Discord

Posted on 8/18/2024

I have four children in elementary school. They play with a neighborhood boy that is a few years older—so the neighbor boy is the oldest. I don’t get involved with their play, but I do...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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10 & 12 year old brothers, "highly sensitive" and "strong willed"

Posted on 8/17/2024

I am on board with all the traditional discipline "like grandma did it." We have 5 children ranging in age now 24 down to 10. The 10-year-old son has all the signs of being what I understand to be...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority, Post Modern Psychological Parenting, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Strong-Willed Child

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Raising a Good Sport

Posted on 8/8/2024

How do I help my 8-year-old cope with losing?

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Call the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress

Posted on 7/7/2024

Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Lying, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Socialization/Social Skills

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How to Build and Maintain Friendships

Posted on 6/15/2024

Hello, how do I help my 7-year-old daughter maintain good friendships? She is homeschooled, so our main source of friends is in church or our homeschool co-op. She is pretty outgoing, but I’ve...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Socialization/Social Skills

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Require Independent Play

Posted on 2/17/2024

We are trying to promote our kids to be more independent with regards to their play. They are all boys ages 9, 7 and 5. They can play independently, but still want me to play with them and often...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Anxieties, Fears, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Teaching Manners to a Five-Year-Old

Posted on 2/7/2024

During a recent visit to a private school we are considering sending our daughter to, I found it difficult to have a conversation with the school staff due to my daughter's constant whining and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Fathers, Manners, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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1st Grade Son Prefers Silly Play

Posted on 10/8/2023

My 1st grade son who has always preferred oral "silly" play including making rasberry sounds, whistling, and staccato outbursts of word like but unintelligible syllables, and exaggerated laughter,...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Elementary School, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Socialization/Social Skills

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Chores, chores YES

Posted on 8/25/2023

I'm not good at consistently requiring my son's aged 5 and 3 to do any chores around the house. I think they are old enough to start doing regular small tasks but I'm not good at holding them to...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Preschool, Socialization/Social Skills

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6-Year-Old Pitiful Pouter

Posted on 8/8/2023

My 6 year old son has a big problem losing any type of competition. He cries, pouts, leaves the room. At tennis he will pout and look at the ground etc. How can I motivate him? How do I teach...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Emotions, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Problems too general to address

Posted on 1/21/2023

My young daughter was a G9 student. She was great when in elementary school. But developing some issues in middle school. Now in high school, she tends to isolate herself, not talking to any of...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Socialization/Social Skills

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Let's Play! Or Not.

Posted on 10/16/2022

Thank you for your help RE my previous post on homeschooling. I always find this forum so empowering. How do I get my son into sports? He lacks confidence and avoids it. There is a lovely...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Socialization/Social Skills

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10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents, Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families, Tantrums

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To Share or Not to Share - That is the Question

Posted on 9/18/2022

What are the pros and cons for sibling room sharing? I wonder if I should make my 11 month old share a room with the 2.5 year old. P.S. The 2.5 year old is completely potty trained. Thanks for...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS, Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Gender, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Elementary School, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Play, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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3-Year-Old in Hyper Mode

Posted on 6/22/2022

My 3.5 year old will get hyper and annoying when he is overtired or overexcited. When he’s in a “hyper mode”, he’s running around, trying to roughhouse, jumping into people, being loud and...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Preschool, Socialization/Social Skills

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Lazy Bones needs to Play

Posted on 6/21/2022

I have a twelve year old son. My concern is that he is incredibly lazy. He has no ambition to do anything. He finishes what we require of him and takes up his spot on the couch. Sometimes he reads...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Play, Socialization/Social Skills

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The Third Year of Life - A Time to Learn and Blossom

Posted on 5/24/2022

What chores and responsibilities should a 3.5 year old have? Should there be a designate “workbook/learning” time every day?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Socialization/Social Skills

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Don't Overthink Autism Diagnosis

Posted on 5/22/2022

My 2.5-year-old daughter has a working diagnosis of autism. I’m finding it incredibly difficult to get my head around it. I do not want to sound unsympathetic, but how did this happen? Why are so...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Learning Disabilities, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Preschool, Socialization/Social Skills

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No Response is a Response: Let Them Be Silly

Posted on 4/21/2022

How do we teach our children to stop the constant silly talk/noises? One child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, etc. I've set up a rule that the first 30 minutes after wakeup and the last 30...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Parent vs. Grandparent Relationships

Posted on 2/15/2022

My husband and I love the John Rosemond way of parenting. We set rules and expect our kids to follow them. When my parents come around, they completely baby them because they "feel bad" and think...

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Fathers, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Mom Wants to Put a Lid on Son's Potty Talk

Posted on 1/17/2022

Hello, We have a 4.5 year old son. He has been using the word "poop" in everything. Trying to be funny. Or trying to get a rise? Depends. Here are a couple of examples.. I am 33 weeks pregnant...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Shy 7 Year Old

Posted on 12/31/2021

My 7 year old first-grader has trouble joining into social situations. He plays well with his 5 year old brother, but with peers, he goes off on his own, and will tell stories to himself (I...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Self-Esteem, Shyness, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Socialization/Social Skills

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Fear of the New

Posted on 12/15/2021

Our Foster son (8 years old) who we will be adopting in the next 6 months (working on paperwork and all the legal stuff that goes with it) has a very low self esteem and melts down and has a full...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Homeschooling, Parent Leadership and Authority, Self-Esteem, Socialization/Social Skills

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Friends, Fun, and Four Year Olds

Posted on 11/28/2021

My question is about how much socialization with peers is needed for my four year old son? We plan on homeschooling our kids and therefore do not have our son enrolled in preschool. Because of the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Homeschooling, Socialization/Social Skills

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Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Adopted Daughters Crave Adult Attention

Posted on 10/28/2021

Daughters want too much attention from adults, and are too touchy with them. We have two adopted daughters, ages five and six. Both seem to want an unnatural amount of attention from adults....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Play, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Welcome to the Terrible Twos!

Posted on 10/21/2021

My just turned two year old was always an excellent sleeper after 4 months old, happily going to bed and staying there even through transition to adult bed. The past 4 days he has refused to lay...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Terrible Twos

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Play Nice!

Posted on 10/11/2021

Hello. My 6 year old daughter has a very hard time playing nicely with cousins and peers. She wants to have the upper hand at all times. She gets very jealous if somebody has something she...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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15 year old Daughter in Fistfight

Posted on 10/8/2021

15 year old daughter in a fistfight at school. Her story changes but the gist of it is that a girl she hadn't seen in 3 years wanted to talk to her (I doubt they hadn't spoken to each other in 3...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Aggression, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Teenage Issues

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19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Define "Disciplined"

Posted on 9/23/2021

Whenever we have friends or family over or we’re at an event with other kids our 4 year old daughter very rarely engages in playing with the children and constantly wants to be where the adults...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Socialization/Social Skills

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"Anything for Attention and The Most Annoying Thing Ever"

Posted on 8/11/2021

I have a seven year old boy who is a copycat. There are adults around him who clear their throat, so now he is clearing his throat. It has become a habit and when he gets mad, he exaggerates it...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Consistency is the key to success

Posted on 8/10/2021

I have a 6 yo daughter and 3 yo son. Daughter is often "mean" to son verbally. His 3 yr old talkativeness bothers her, and she frequently shouts at him ("be quiet!" etc.) My and wife's approach...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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9 year old won’t stop crying

Posted on 7/30/2021

My 9 year old son cries at what seems like the drop of a hat and sometimes it's out of the blue and seems that it should be a behavior that he should have outgrown by his age. Many times it's due...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Socialization/Social Skills

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Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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8 year old boy missing his friends after moving

Posted on 7/16/2021

We’ve recently relocated and all my 8 year old does is complain he misses his old friends from his old school. I understand transitions are difficult and life has changed a lot but my sons quality...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Socialization/Social Skills

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A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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2 year old Hair Cut Anxiety

Posted on 5/21/2021

Hello, my son is 2 years and 3 months old. He has not had a full evaluation for autism yet but is showing signs and is nonverbal. He is in desperate need of a haircut but anytime we have taken him...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Anxieties, Fears, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Shyness, Socialization/Social Skills

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Self-Esteem, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Teenage Issues

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Time for a Potty Training Reset

Posted on 4/13/2021

We are currently attempting to potty train our 21-month-old boy. It has been almost one month of training and we are having almost zero success with getting him to sit on the potty to pee or poop....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

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