Questions

Troublemaking Siblings

Posted 1 week ago

Our two youngest children, when together, are troublemakers. They are 6 and 7, but when they are together they revert to large babies—don’t do their chores, lay around, giggle, tickling,...

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Toddler guidance and independence

Posted 1 week ago

We recently found out that Baby #3 is on the way. We are trying to conquer the terrible twos with our son and conquer some issues with our 3 yr daughter. She has had a sneaky, disrespectful...

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Leadership is an antidote for emotionality

Posted 1 week ago

Our daughter, whom we have asked about before, is lying more often about small & big things, however we have noticed she pulls away from us and will hardly talk to us or open up. Whenever we...

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When Phases and a New Baby Coming Collide

Posted 1 week ago

Hi, we transitioned my son to a full bed because he began climbing out of his crib, and it was becoming unsafe. He has always been a great independent sleeper. However, now he requires either me...

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Taking a different path to change.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Asking for my sister-in-law: She took in our orphaned niece when she was 6, she is now 13. Niece was neglected and abused, just like her troubled mom who was adopted by my in-law’s as a teen....

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Toilet Training Regression, Don't Turn to Pull-Ups

Posted 2 weeks ago

My sweet five year old boy is in the midst of a full potty training regression. He was fully potty trained and then we moved and he is back in pull ups full time while home with me for the summer....

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Call the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress

Posted 2 weeks ago

Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...

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Trauma as an Excuse for Behavior

Posted 2 weeks ago

To start, please forgive me—I’m still a recovering “parenting-babble” believer. Which leads me to this question: we adopted two elementary-aged children out of foster care. The big bad wolf that...

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Time for a New Approach with 6YO

Posted 2 weeks ago

My son turns 6 next month and has hit a stage where if I use alpha speech and he doesn’t like what we’re doing, he follows me around whining or trying to convince me otherwise. If I tell him to go...

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No fair rules and personal responsibility

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 10-year-old daughter is insolent and disobedient at home, especially towards my husband, her stepfather for the past year ("you're not my father"). She doesn't like the new rules that have been...

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Recognizing the Value of Childhood Chores

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi there! I am wanting to know what chores I should expect from my three daughters, 3.5yo twins and 6.5yo. They help out here and there, but Dad and I are tired of doing all the clean up and no...

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GRANDMA EINSTEIN

Posted 2 weeks ago

Our children are in the ages of 5-10. Their grandmother (my mother-in-law) is employed by the school system, and acts like an expert in children’s health and mental health, although with no formal...

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What mom says GOES!

Posted 3 weeks ago

Hello, I have a son who is 2.5 and my daughter who is 17 months. My son was a great listener when we were out and he was not in a stroller. If we say no or stop he would listen or come back to...

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Retraining will be challenging, possible and necessary.

Posted 4 weeks ago

Due with baby #3 in 9mon… 4yo and 2.5yo still sleeping with mom and dad, 2.5yo not potty trained. Where do we start in retraining our children so that our bed can be child free, and out of diapers...

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How to untrain what was trained.

Posted 1 month ago

My 2.5 year old daughter is without diaper during the day but at naps and night with pull apps for the last 10 months Stil we have to remind her to go to the toilet and if we find she sometimes...

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It's Always Something

Posted on 6/21/2024

Good day. My son (7.5) has come a long way on many behavioral issues. One infuriating thing we are still having trouble with is his tendency to break things. I get the impulse to "test"...

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How to Build and Maintain Friendships

Posted on 6/15/2024

Hello, how do I help my 7-year-old daughter maintain good friendships? She is homeschooled, so our main source of friends is in church or our homeschool co-op. She is pretty outgoing, but I’ve...

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Advice on Addressing Grandson's Behavior with Parents

Posted on 6/13/2024

Hi, We're visiting our son, his wife, and our only grandson, who is five years old. He is rather spoiled and often behaves brattily. When we go over for dinner (we're staying at a VRBO), he...

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Grandparent Woes

Posted on 6/12/2024

Hi, we are visiting a son, wife and only grandson with them who is 5 He is basically spoiled and being bratty. My question is when we go over for dinner, staying at a vrbo, he is saying "don't...

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GET A 14 YO AN ELECTRIC BIKE

Posted on 6/12/2024

My question is "Should I let my 14 year-old son get an eBike?" I've read "Teen Proofing" and want to give him more freedom to get around on his own, but these ebikes are really "eMotorcycles" -...

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Help! My Son Wants to Quit Swim Team

Posted on 6/7/2024

My 6-year-old son is refusing to participate in swim team, because he says it’s hard and that he wants to quit. In the past, we’ve allowed him to quit activities, but he was told he would do swim...

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Posted on 5/29/2024

How do we make our 4-year old daughter care about peeing in her pants? She was seemingly potty-trained a couple of months ago, and then accidents started happening frequently the last month or...

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No pass for naughty behavior.

Posted on 5/28/2024

My 5 year old has apraxia of speech and does both speech therapy and OT. He is very smart but gets frustrated very easily when things are difficult. He will be starting Kindergarten at the school...

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Posted on 5/27/2024

Our son 10 yrs. began pulling his hair out 6 months ago. Simultaneously began w/ sadness/crying spells. Later became aggression/violence. Bloodwork revealed several nutrition deficiencies. After...

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Reclaim the Baton of Power

Posted on 5/21/2024

My 5-year-old daughter is nearly always waking up in a sour mood. Her eyebrows low, frumpy look, tense arms. It's been so exhausting to start on that foot the past few months. How can I...

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Swim Team Dilemma for 6YO

Posted on 5/18/2024

My 6 year old son is refusing to participate in swim team, because he says it’s hard and I want to quit. In the past we’ve allowed him to quit activities, and he was told he would do swim team and...

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Normal to explore

Posted on 5/18/2024

In the past couple of days I’ve noticed my 6 year old daughter playing with her nipple, or sometimes it’s her belly button. When I see it I usually tell her to stop. Should I be concerned or...

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Why Is My 5 Year Old a Mean Girl?

Posted on 5/7/2024

Our 5-year-old daughter has been acting aggressively towards others (classmates in school AND her 7-year-old brother) when either she doesn't like what they do or they won't let her do whatever...

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Post Vacay Reset

Posted on 5/5/2024

We recently went on a trip that was 13 days long. There was lots of drive time as we went to see different friends, family, and attended a wedding. Before the trip I could see that our two kids (3...

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13 yro are human

Posted on 5/4/2024

Hello. Our 13 year old son is the oldest of our three boys. They are all adopted and are biological brothers. For the past year or so, there has been a handful of times he has gotten angry...

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Never spar with a picky eater.

Posted on 5/4/2024

My daughter (3 yrs.) has become a picky eater. Before she would occasionally be picky but most of the time did pretty decent with what we gave her. But she has recently been a very picky eater. I...

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Nighttime Potty Training a 4-Year-Old

Posted on 5/1/2024

My daughter is 4 and I've been putting off nighttime potty training until the school year ends because sleep deprivation turns her into a bear. Once school is over, I plan to start with John's...

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Moody Blues

Posted on 4/27/2024

Our 10-year-old son has started having huge mood swings. He gets easily angry, grumpy, and irritable. What is the best way to handle mood swings? We provide consequences for misbehavior, but how...

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5 YO GIRL SELF-STIMULATING

Posted on 4/24/2024

Hi John, Your work has been of immense value for our family! We have two little girls (5 and 2). The 5 y/o has been touching her vagina quite frequently. It started to concern us a few...

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Don't micromanage a 19 year old.

Posted on 4/23/2024

My son is almost 19, planning to attend college away from home in the fall. I've been trying for years to limit his tv and phone/screen time. I've been told he's too old for this change. I...

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Time to get their attention

Posted on 4/20/2024

Hi I wrote in 10 days ago and never heard back. We’re struggling with bedtime. We have 2 girls, ages 5 and 3. We moved them into the same bedroom about a month ago. We read another response to...

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How to Deal with 13-Year-Old’s Misbehavior at Home

Posted on 4/19/2024

Do you recommend the Ticket system for a 13-year-old girl who is not getting along with a younger sibling, and is very stubborn about getting her way? She does well in school and is respectful...

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Frustration Stifles Change

Posted on 4/14/2024

I am feeling a great sense of failure because I've been trying to apply John’s principles for most of my child's life and this is where we are: <uL> <il>• 16-year-old son is addicted to his...

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Son and Mom Problem

Posted on 4/9/2024

Hi. 13-Year-old boy. Home school, avid reader, no screens, movies on weekend. Tennis player. Plays outside. I love everything Rosemond. But I have never been great at putting it into effect. My...

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Should My Teen Miss Prom?

Posted on 4/9/2024

What is your advice regarding grounding teenagers such that they miss major milestone events or rites of passage? I would greatly like to avoid punishments such as missing prom or graduation;...

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Micro Mom-Ager Neighbor

Posted on 3/30/2024

We live on a street where there are a lot of kids. My boys, 9 and 11 years old, are outside all the time playing and my house tends to be the place where all the kids play. If my kids or other...

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The Grass Really Isn’t Greener on the Other Side

Posted on 3/25/2024

My 10-year-old daughter seems always to think the grass is greener somewhere else. For example, we homeschool, which she enjoys, but often expresses her wish to return to regular school, and when...

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Don't talk so much

Posted on 3/21/2024

My 4 year old daughter has been having problems listening and following directions, particularly at her after school program. She gets written up at least once a week and has been suspended from...

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My Daughter is Refusing Foods at Mealtime

Posted on 3/21/2024

Hello, my 13-month-old is refusing to eat what we are serving her at lunch or dinner. She has no problems with the eggs in the morning even when I add vegetables or meats. She will either just...

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Challenges to challenging behaviors.

Posted on 3/20/2024

Our 5.5 year old boy consistently whines, cries or throws mild tantrums at disappointments. We recognize this is inappropriate, but have struggled to have victory in this area. Typically, when...

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Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

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Legal questions need legal answers

Posted on 3/20/2024

Our almost 7 year old son was caught fingering a 5 year old boy cousin in the butt. Our son said they both were doing this with each other and smelling their finger. Our son deeply regrets the...

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POSITIVE PARENTING SOLUTIONS?

Posted on 3/19/2024

Hi John, What are your thoughts on Positive Parenting Solutions? Thank you. Linda

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Upping the Ante Not Working with Misbehaving 5YO

Posted on 3/17/2024

We have a 5 year old who continues to disobey. We tell her “go upstairs it’s time to brush your teeth.” Or “It’s time to clean up your legos.” And she’ll say, “No!” If we up the ante and say,...

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11 yo GIRL HAVING LOTS OF SCHOOL-RELATED BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS

Posted on 3/12/2024

I have an 11 yo daughter whose behavior has been digressing since September of 2023. She was attending a private Christian school. She did well the first 5 weeks then started exhibiting behaviors...

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