"Good parents take very, very good care of their marriage, lest their marriage become a mirage. "

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Speak less, act more...

Posted yesterday

I'm a divorced mother of two boys, 7 & 9. My sons will stall unendingly with anything that isn't really fun. It makes it really hard to ever accomplish doing anything. ex. we need to leave by...

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Too many chances leads to deceit.

Posted yesterday

My 15 year old asked if she could have Netflix. We told her we’d like to see her show us that she can manage her time better before we say yes. Gave her some thoughts on what we would like to...

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21 Month Old Potty Training Hangup

Posted 2 days ago

I am potty training my 21 mo daughter, I followed N$75 for my son and it worked well, he was pretty well potty trained in 6 weeks, I started him at 23 months. We started my daughter almost 1...

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Sharing rooms...

Posted 4 days ago

Our 5 year-old daughter and 2 year-old son share a bedroom. By what age is it no longer appropriate for them to share? Our house has only two bedrooms, but we do have a plan in mind as to how...

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4.5 year old reluctant about dance class

Posted 4 days ago

My daughter is 4.5 years old and has been taking dance lessons for about 3 months (once a week for an hour). So far, she's loved it and always looks forward to the next class. She has never said...

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Manipulation or Depression?

Posted 1 week ago

Manipulation or True Depression that needs help? My 15 year old son has for the last couple years been not very happy and lately very depressed. We assume because he's losing his electronics...

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Choosing Good Friends

Posted 1 week ago

Our 8 year old son is overall a good kid, but he has a good friend that brings out bad behavior when they're together. Our son recognizes that his friend can be a bad influence at times, and at...

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Preschoolers Early Risers

Posted 1 week ago

Our two older children, ages 4 and nearly 3, share a bedroom. In the mornings they like to get up very early (5am) and play together. My husband and I usually get up multiple times to tell them to...

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Marital Disagreement over Discipline

Posted 1 week ago

I have one biological son who is 13 and 2 years ago gained 3 teenage stepsons due to my 2nd marriage. My husband is smart, successful and well-liked by everyone that meets him. And there's not a...

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Sibling Conflict: Teaching Moment or Stay out of It?

Posted 1 week ago

I am the mother of 3 children, a 5 and a half year old girl, a 4 year old boy and a 2 and a half year old girl. The 2 oldest used to play really well together for the most part but over the last...

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False Diagnoses

Posted 1 week ago

HI John I enjoyed your article "Are many cases of autism wrongly diagnosed?" You were right on the mark when you said "kids grow out of these many of these things". An acquaintance's...

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Changing up the Chart System

Posted 1 week ago

We do the Strike System with our 9 and 7 year olds and it is working pretty well. However, there is still a big, stressful issue when it comes to us telling the 9 year old to clean up her room or...

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You are trying to do what?

Posted 1 week ago

Hi. My 13 year old daughter has asked to speak with a counselor for her anxiety issues and depression issues. She has made statements of doing possible self harm. We are looking into someone...

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Failure to Bond?

Posted 1 week ago

I have a question about bonding. We are first-time parents to a very lively and happy 17 month little girl. We struggled for years to become pregnant with two failed IVF attempts and through egg...

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21 mo Taking Forever to "Get" Toilet Training

Posted 1 week ago

We started potty training our son at 21 months, same as we did our other 2 children at that age. We are still struggling with him though after two and half months. He does well when at home with a...

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Smoking Weed

Posted 1 week ago

I have heard that it is so common along kids in college to smoke weed, it is absolutely normal for this generation. How to react if i know my child does smoke it and has find it as her relaxing...

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Montessori education?

Posted 1 week ago

This may be a question you can’t answer, but I’m looking into Montessori Schools and was wondering your thoughts? Pros/cons? My girls struggle a little bit in their catholic school and I think a...

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3yo Licking toys

Posted 1 week ago

My 3 year old son has a habit of licking all of the toys at Mothers Morning Out (which he attends 2 mornings a week), "with compulsion" as his teachers describe. When it comes time to play...

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3 year old hitting at school

Posted 1 week ago

Our three-year-olds teacher is on board with the ticket system since he is being aggressive (the behavior we are targeting) at school as well. How should we work this out? She gives him 5 tickets...

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Follow-Up

Posted 1 week ago

I REALLY NEED AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTIONS OF 11/18. EVEN IF IN PRIVATE TO MY TEXT AT 4014993195. THANKS SHEREE

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Your questions....

Posted 1 week ago

I REALLY NEED AN ANSWER TO MY QUESTIONS OF 11/18. EVEN IF IN PRIVATE TO MY TEXT AT 4014993195. THANKS SHEREE

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Objecting to a step-family.

Posted 1 week ago

I have been divorced almost 6 years and the only man I have ever dated has asked me to marry him. We have been dating 3.5 years and each have two children, ages 9 and 12. My 12 yo is really...

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Post-Medication Depression?

Posted 1 week ago

My son was on Ritalin for 11 years before he no longer decided to stop taking it. After he stopped taking it he had many periods in which he had depression which he could not really explain. By no...

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17 yo daughter looking for a fight

Posted 2 weeks ago

Thank you for your previous advise. Me and my 17 yo fight alway, no days go by without hatred. I am concerned about a lot of things and afraid I cant change them. I let them go then I start fight...

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Toilet Training with Diapers?

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have a 3 year old grand daughter who is halfway potty trained in that she urinates on the potty and often refuses to poop on the potty . In order for her teacher and often her parents to not...

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Ramifications of saying "no" to school santa activity.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Dear Parent Guru, I received the below e-mail this afternoon from my daughter's teacher and was hoping to obtain your thoughts on the matter. Last year the same teacher started the secret...

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Time Out With Tickets?

Posted 2 weeks ago

We just started the ticket system with our three-year-old and five-year-old. We have done this with our five-year-old in the past and we appreciate how it works and how effective it can be....

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Did my child really do that?

Posted 2 weeks ago

I just got a call from the Kindergarten counselor. Apparently my 5YO son touched a female classmate inappropriately on the playground before the Thanksgiving break. She told her mom, mom called...

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Holiday Shuffle

Posted 2 weeks ago

This question is regarding the upcoming Christmas season and how to handle my mom and my in-laws. My husband and I have disagreements about how to handle both of our families during this time of...

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Toilet Training 21 mo, No Progress

Posted 2 weeks ago

We are on Day 6 of toilet training our 21-month old son with N75. We are seeing NO progress from Day 1 to today. We have gated off the kitchen because that is where we spend most of our time,...

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Toddlers Don't want to Stay in their Rooms

Posted 2 weeks ago

I am having a problem with keeping my 2 year old and 3 year old in their rooms when they are isolated from the family with misbehavior. Is it appropriate to gate this age? My husband and I are...

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You've Tried Everything. Now What?

Posted 3 weeks ago

I have four kids, ages 5, 4, 3, and 2. My 4 year old is having terrible fits. He is also regressing in his potty training and wets his pants several times a day. The things that he throws fits...

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To Medicate, or Not

Posted 3 weeks ago

I've wrote to you a year ago, now I need your advice on this situation. My 17 yo daughter was upset a lot, cried for an extended period so I took her to a psychologist. My daughter likes her...

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Mornings with a Grumpy Toddler

Posted 3 weeks ago

We have a 27 month old boy who wakes up grumpy every morning. He sleeps well all night long after going to bed around 7:30pm and wakes up at 6am. It takes him 20-30 minutes for him to be happy in...

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A 27-month-old Hitter, Pusher

Posted 3 weeks ago

Our 27 month old son who goes to a child care center in a bible study once per week is hitting and pushing other babies in the class. He specifically hits the younger kids either with a toy or...

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5yr old mad at the world

Posted 3 weeks ago

My beautiful 5.5 year old son is mad at the world. Dis obedient, disrespectful, down right mean. I have been reading John's books and tried the tickets for two years. Asked several questions....

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Teens dealing with "a constant barrage of negative things"

Posted 3 weeks ago

Hello! This is not exactly a child-rearing question but it pertains to everything about being a parent. How do we keep from drowning in the pain we witness our children going through? I have a...

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Time to Toughen Up with Teen

Posted 3 weeks ago

Dear John, you answered my question about my 14 ye old being kicked out of garden for 6 months now and she may be a rebel and we shouldn't start zig zag but stay the course. I'm a wimpy guilty...

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Toilet Training Regression

Posted 3 weeks ago

Our daughter is 31 months. We started potty training at 16 months using N75, and used the potty bell and gate. She has been almost fully trained since 2 years. In fact, until about 3 weeks ago,...

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parents and 12 yo boy in conflict over choice of school

Posted 4 weeks ago

My children 12, 11, 8 have gone to Catholic school since Kindergarten. My 12 year old son is in 7th and we are starting to think about HS. There are only 3 in our area. #1 is an all boys college...

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Teens and the Telephone

Posted 4 weeks ago

I have noticed that parents writing in about problems with kids and phones are repeatedly told to take the device away and the child can have it when they can purchase their own device. I don't...

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3 year old and Ticket System

Posted 1 month ago

I have a 3 year old son who has been on the ticket system for 6 weeks, and I feel extremely discouraged. Today during his check-up at the doctors office he refused to let the nurse weigh him or...

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Kicked Out of the Garden... Now What?

Posted 1 month ago

Dear John, 14 yr girl. Generally respectful and responsible and obedient. However, long history of deception and manipulation. Homeschooler who is presently kicked out of garden for numerous...

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Five year old uncooperative, and more

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am a preschool principal, I have a 5 year-old child who has problems. He has been with us since he was 4 (we have used many ways to discipline him but it doesn't work). He is able to...

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Free to Disagree, Not Disobey

Posted on 11/13/2017

My 4.5 year-old-son has whining meltdown 3-5 times a day, usually when he 1) is told he can't have something, 2) it's time to stop doing something, or 3) there is some representation of...

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15 yo boy "running off"

Posted on 11/13/2017

I have a fifteen year old son who likes to run off for hours at a time with no notice as to where he is going when he gets in trouble or mad. Unfortunately, my wife and I struggle with "should we...

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Follow up about Disobedient 5 y/o

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am referring to my previous question about a 5 years old student in my preschool. The boy is not my son. I don't think that he has ADHD or Autism. When I spoke to the mother, she told me that...

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Daily Report

Posted on 11/12/2017

Our 9 year old son has been doing a daily report with his teacher for most of the school year. Last week my husband and I went on a week trip and the kids stayed at our home with their...

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4 year old girl sticking out her tongue

Posted on 11/11/2017

My four year old daughter has recently started sticking her tongue out at her Dad and me. If we tell her to stop she does it more. The underlying sentiment is disrespectful, not silliness. Is this...

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Rejected by adult children.

Posted on 11/11/2017

It is embarrassing to admit that we have seemed to blow it as parents, but it sure appears to be the case! I have contacted you about our daughter that has pretty much cut us off and blame us for...

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