"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

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Slaying the Whiny Monster

Posted 4 days ago

We have 4 children: a 9 year old boy, twin boys who are 6, and a 3 year old girl. This question is about one of the 6 year old twins. He whines, complains constantly, and falls...

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A Morning Dawdler

Posted 4 days ago

Hi there, How do I get my 5 year old to do his morning routine - is get dressed, make bed and brush teeth without being told? We have put up pictures of what needs to be done but he plays...

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God's Anointing was an Annoyed Teen

Posted 6 days ago

16 year old does not want to attend church. Should we expect her go most of the time? We've told her she can take breaks because we understand our small church does not have teens her age, other...

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The Enemy of my Enemy is my Sibling

Posted 6 days ago

We have five children, and multiple questions, but I'll just focus on one here. My oldest son and daughter (ages 10 and 7) fight regularly. My son is a teaser, and my daughter is a screecher. ...

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Focus on the How Rather than the Why

Posted 6 days ago

My (almost) 3 year old girl has been potty trained for 8 months. She wears underwear during the day and a pull up at night. For the past 2-3 days she has been having frequent pee and poop...

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N75 with a 19 month old

Posted 6 days ago

My almost 19mo began the N75 five days ago, and it has been interesting. The first day she peed on the potty once when I sat with her for several minutes, but she has not done so since. It has...

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Overly Protective Mom Needs Help With Anxious 4-Year-Old

Posted 1 week ago

Hello! I will freely admit that I created this problem, but now need to help my currently 4 1/2 year old daughter the best that I can. I was raised in a very protective family and have a...

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Uninvolved or Encouraging Independence?

Posted 1 week ago

I have 22 month old twins. Our house is very small, just under 900 square feet. About half of the house (2 rooms) is dedicated playspace for them, along with the living room when they're not in...

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8 yro needs to learn to give some R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted 1 week ago

I have 3 sons: 4,6,8. My oldest has been a challenge for us. He does well academically. There are some requests at school to have him listen or think through questions before asking. But these...

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Be The Grandparent

Posted 1 week ago

I witnessed my son try to discipline his daughter. Daughter in law repeatedly challenged him and totally emasculated him in front of me when he continued. She's a wonderful daughter in law and...

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Six year olds sometimes make bad decisions.

Posted 1 week ago

My 6 1/2 year old granddaughter killed a frog yesterday using a kitchen knife to mutilate it. This was in front of her 4 yr old brother. She has never shown that kind of violence and we are all...

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Trouble with Transitions at Preschool

Posted 1 week ago

A follow up to my previous question... we have had several informal conferences with the director of my 3 y/o son’s preschool. It seems like everything is fine until he is asked to do something...

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The truth is not out there!

Posted 1 week ago

My hubby and I are considering bringing our almost 3 y/o to a certified play therapist in hopes that we can figure out the cause and how to best help him with his extreme tantrums at home, but...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted 1 week ago

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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16 YO Boy Loses Job, Lies, & Vapes

Posted 1 week ago

Our 16 you son was fired from his first job today at a pet grooming shop. We know the owner as we've been taking our pets there for over 9 years. The owner called us to explain that our son had...

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Adjusting to Preschool Can Be Tough

Posted 2 weeks ago

My almost 3-year-old son has been attending the same Montessori-based preschool for the past year. 90-95% of the AM drop-offs have been difficult for him resulting in a meltdown. His teacher...

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Great-grandparents who now parent.

Posted 2 weeks ago

what are the first steps in teaching a 6 yr. old boy how to entertain himself. For the last 3 years we have been raising our 6 yr old great grandson due to drug problems with his parents and...

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Put Preschooler's Sleep Problem to Rest

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello! Our daughter just turned four. There are periods when she wakes up several times during the night crying. We go to her room, give her a sip of water, tuck her in, and she goes back to...

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How Do I Get My Children to Play Outside?!

Posted 3 weeks ago

How do I get my boys to play outside? We are locked in a power struggle at the moment over this. They never watch TV or videos. They get rambunctious playing inside the house all the time, and I...

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Soon to be 4 yro needs to know who's in control

Posted 3 weeks ago

Hello, what is a good discipline measure to use on my 3 year old son who is soon to be 4 years old? Time out does not seem to work anymore. He yells at us, slaps the walls, and outright tells us...

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Posted 3 weeks ago

What is the best way to get your husband to become "husband first", when he has put every other role (provider, father, hobbies) first instead? My attempts at intimacy, or "wife first"...

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How to get 4 and 5 yo brothers to play outdoors

Posted 3 weeks ago

How do I get my boys to play outside? We are locked in a power struggle at the moment over this. They never watch TV or videos. They get rambunctious playing inside the house all the time and I...

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Parents Concerned about Sexually Active 16-Year-Old

Posted 3 weeks ago

Our 16 year old daughter has lost her virginity. I am concerned that she is continuing to be sexually active. I don’t know when she would have the opportunity but I’m Not naive to the possibility...

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Negative thoughts about self at twelve.

Posted 3 weeks ago

My twelve year old daughter is currently doing a Bible study. She was asked to list 5 things she believed about herself. She listed all negative things. "I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'm an...

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18 YO Dating Abusive Man

Posted 3 weeks ago

Should I stop by 18 year old from dating a guy who is verbally abusive to her? My daughter listens to all the red flags about this boy and agrees. Yet she says she needs time to end it. After...

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Ditch the Daycare

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 20 month old toddler is having a very hard time adjusting to daycare. I believe she has severe separation and social anxieties. I am a stay at home mom and I am putting my daughter in daycare...

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Special challenges for children of divorce.

Posted 4 weeks ago

Hi John and Team, My boyfriend and I share custody of his 10 year old son. We have his son for two four-week blocks in the summer and then every other weekend during the school year. We are...

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No Gun Play at School!

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 6-year-old keeps pretending he has a gun at school. We just got a second note from the school that our son was pretending to play with a gun (made out of paper) at school and scaring other...

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Let's get started!

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 22 month old has started taking his diaper off, should I begin potty training? He seems to be just enjoying removing it, and now it seems like a game.

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Take them apart from each other!

Posted 4 weeks ago

How do suggest handling the consequence of being sent to one’s room for whatever period of time when siblings share a room. Our 5 and 7 year old boys share a room and most often when there is...

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Beating the Bullies

Posted 1 month ago

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

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7-year-old Sunday School Woes

Posted 1 month ago

A 7 or 8 year old boy came to Sunday School for the first time and we suspect there are problems at home. I have not met him personally, but he was described as dark and negative. I do not know...

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Getting Back on Track

Posted 1 month ago

Two weeks ago, our power went out at 3 am and the bang of the transformer blowing jolted everyone awake. Since then, our son (5.5 years old) has called us into his room in the middle of the night...

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Siblings and Summer

Posted on 6/18/2019

Hi! I have an 8 year old daughter and boy/girl twin 6 year olds. I am writting in because my kids have been fighting a lot and gotten physical; pushing, hair grabbing, kicking sometimes even...

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Ending the Blame Game

Posted on 6/17/2019

My 5 year old son regularly blames others for his own mistakes, and for anything that he doesn't want to do. For example, this morning when I told him to help me with the dishes he pitched a...

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Separate sleeping times

Posted on 6/15/2019

I have a 4.5yr son and 2.5yr daughter who just this past week has become roommates so we can prepare the nursery for baby #3, due in 4 months. The first few nights bedtime, between 8-9p, was...

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Posted on 6/15/2019

I asked a question on May 29th. But I have not gotten a response. Thank you.

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15 yo Daughter and Foolish Friends

Posted on 6/15/2019

15 year old daughter has been vaping, possible drinking & lying. She has put inappropriate photos referencing vaping, getting high and raiding our liquor cabinet on her Instagram only seen by...

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To Adopt or Not Adopt

Posted on 6/12/2019

Hello, We are considering adopting a child who was addicted to methamphetamine in the womb. He also was exposed to marijuana and cigarettes. We have compassion for him, and we know it is not...

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4 and 5 year old brothers tag team Mom

Posted on 6/12/2019

My older boy, age 5 has been on the ticket system for about 9 months. He starts the day with 3 tickets and his misbehaviors are screaming at us and not obeying us. My younger boy, 4 has recently...

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2.5 year old won't share Grandma

Posted on 6/11/2019

2.5 year old only wants Grandma when she is around. Grandma lives out of state, so when we see her we are together for day/night at least a week. 2.5 yo only wants Grandma to take care of, play,...

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When to Start Potty Training?

Posted on 6/10/2019

Should I start potty training now or wait? Our daughter is 16 months old as of yesterday. I have read your potty book, and my husband and I agree with it and plan on following it. I have already...

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Nap Time With Twins

Posted on 6/9/2019

Hello. I have twins who are 20 months old. At nap time and bed time, one twin falls asleep readily. However, the other twin fights sleep. She doesn't cry or seem too upset. She just sits...

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Potty Training Toddler

Posted on 6/7/2019

I am a stay at home Dad and our son just turned 2 years old last month and we are now in the 4th month of trying to potty train him. He has a 4 year old sister and she was potty trained in about...

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Dealing with One-Year-Old's Challenging Behavior

Posted on 6/6/2019

Hi I have a 12 month old, and have recently finished Making the Terrible two's terrific. He seems to be staring tantrums when he has items taken from him, eg the car keys because I have to use...

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He has got one ticket to ride!

Posted on 6/6/2019

What do we do when our son loses a ticket (currently our ticket system is for disrespectful behavior - specifically for talking back, name calling and/or mocking) and on his way to timeout he does...

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Miserable Meal Times

Posted on 6/6/2019

Our son makes mealtime miserable by yelling, complaining, and making a huge production out of eating what we serve. He also whines, begs, and screams about wanting us to "help him" eat his dinner...

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Love One Another

Posted on 6/6/2019

My son who is 5, loves to play with a certain 9-year old at the park. The kid's mother sits in her car the entire time while her son will sometimes curse at and scare other kids. My son doesn't...

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Going With Your Gut

Posted on 6/5/2019

I have a 17 yo daughter. I foolishly gave in to giving her an iPhone when she was 13. My husband died 4 years ago. Because of a rebellious attitude of her older sister, I realized these iPhones...

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