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Son and Mom Problem

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi. 13-Year-old boy. Home school, avid reader, no screens, movies on weekend. Tennis player. Plays outside. I love everything Rosemond. But I have never been great at putting it into effect. My...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Spanking

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Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Boundaries, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Time to Show you Mean Business

Posted on 3/7/2024

Hi! Today, after telling my 9 year old son no, he could not take Pokemon cards to school, he snuck them in his backpack and took them anyway. The teacher called me. She also told me he brought a...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Boundaries, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Teaching Manners to a Five-Year-Old

Posted on 2/7/2024

During a recent visit to a private school we are considering sending our daughter to, I found it difficult to have a conversation with the school staff due to my daughter's constant whining and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Fathers, Manners, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Teaching manners and respect to toddler

Posted on 1/16/2024

We are working on teaching our kids manners and trying to teach them to be respectful. They know excuse me, please, thank you, and yes ma’am/sir. Recently when I’ve been feeding them my daughter...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Manners, Mealtime/Eating, Respect

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Cutting the apron strings 3yo

Posted on 11/5/2023

Our daughter is an only child, and I am a stay at home wife. She turned three in June and we are starting to have some difficulties separating her from our interactions as husband and wife during...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Only Children, Play, Respect, Seasons of Parenting, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Tickets. I’ve got your tickets!

Posted on 11/4/2023

Hello - we have been using some form of the ticketing system with our 5 year old daughter for about a year now. It doesn’t seem like we have made much progress. She is still consistently...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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2nd Grader Can't Keep Hands to Himself

Posted on 10/8/2023

My 2nd grade child struggles with keeping his hands to himself in school, a problem we've encountered for the past 2 years. We've actively collaborated with his teachers each year and introduced a...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Elementary School, Manners, Respect, School Issues

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Classroom Management

Posted on 10/3/2023

Hello! Your straightforward, old-fashioned approach has been a big blessing to me as a children’s minister/teacher! Do you or your team have any classroom management resources for Sunday...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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12YO's Rude Behavior Needs to Stop

Posted on 3/7/2023

6 yo daughter and a 12 yo daughter. 12 yo is acting rude toward her grandma. Grandma is loving, kind, interested and attends activities. 12 yo is a good kid, good grades, is respectful. We’ve set...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Respect

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10 yr Old reining in his anger

Posted on 1/21/2023

10 year old with anger issues What is your advice as to how to teach a 10 yr old boy how to control his emotions, instead of letting his emotions control him. Our son can be like Dr. Jekyll/Mr....

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Tantrums

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6 yr old fits

Posted on 1/4/2023

My daughter is 6 years old. When her father and I speak to her about her behaviour she interrupts us by saying "I know, I know, I know". She is constantly talking back! she's hit me before and I...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Respect, Tantrums

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10-Year-Old Not Getting the Message

Posted on 6/16/2022

My ten-year-old son has recently been misbehaving at school with a friend. First, the teacher informed us that after the class was told not to play hide and seek inside the school building during...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Don't Dis R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 6/13/2022

Our 8 year old has grown increasingly disrespectful. He is perfect respectful to adults like teachers and parents of his friends, so it is primarily an issue at home. Often the disrespect is...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Respect, Sibling Conflict

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11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER

Posted on 6/11/2022

My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Step-Families

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No Response is a Response: Let Them Be Silly

Posted on 4/21/2022

How do we teach our children to stop the constant silly talk/noises? One child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, etc. I've set up a rule that the first 30 minutes after wakeup and the last 30...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, High School, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Teenage Issues

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It's Not About the Makeup: Time for a Garden Kick

Posted on 3/20/2022

15-year old daughter very obsessed with make-up. Used our Amazon account to buy makeup Products without our knowing till I looked up order history. Took away all her makeup products, went...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Teenage Issues

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Child Abuse? I Think Not.

Posted on 2/21/2022

My 9 year old homschool son cries and freaks out when we mention he does school at my mother's house an hour away. The children usually stay a week or a few days. Is it child abuse if he doesn't...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Smartphones and "Smart-mouthed" Teen

Posted on 2/18/2022

Mr. John: We need your advice. My son just turned 15 and never had video games or a smartphone. He had a flip phone, and watches Tv on weekends. This school year we gave him a Smartphone for him...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Bedtime Blues

Posted on 2/1/2022

Hello there. Since he was very little, my little one had been going to be bed between 7:30 to 8 pm, preceded by him willingly going to the bathtub when told, playing/being washed in the tub, being...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Posted on 1/30/2022

We have a 10 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. Our daughter has a genetic disease and is mildly delayed in language and cognitive skills, but she attends school and is in a regular...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Sibling Conflict

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You're in Charge Now

Posted on 1/21/2022

Okay so I’m ready to administer a discipline plan for my daughter. My questions are; 1. How much is too much? I’m ready to take a lot of her favorite things away. But, what about life...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

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Parent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child

Posted on 1/19/2022

This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years), Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Fathers, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Respect, Single Parents, Step-Families, Teenage Issues

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Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bullies/Bullying, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Tantrums

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Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Socialization/Social Skills

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Clarifying the Garden Kick

Posted on 12/4/2021

Does kicking out of the garden mean the child is confined to their new boring room for the duration of the time? Do you restrict them from playing outside with sibblings or friends? Can they...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Teenage Issues

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Awakened Mom Wants Respectful 8 year old Son

Posted on 11/24/2021

I have a 7, almost 8 year old son, who has not ever been appropriately disciplined and has developed into a challenging and, dare I say, entitled child. He has little respect for me and when I...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

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Nip It. Nip It Good.

Posted on 11/17/2021

Hi ParentGuru, I have a question about our 5yr old son who has come home from prep (1st year of primary school here in Melbourne Australia) after an incident in which he threw another student's...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Tantrums

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Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Homeschooling, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

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Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)

Posted on 10/26/2021

Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Drugs (marijuana, cocaine, etc.), Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Lying, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Teenage Issues

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Play Nice!

Posted on 10/11/2021

Hello. My 6 year old daughter has a very hard time playing nicely with cousins and peers. She wants to have the upper hand at all times. She gets very jealous if somebody has something she...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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4 year old terrorist wearing out her family

Posted on 9/23/2021

Our 4 year old daughter has become a complete terrorist. She has always been difficult and challenging but it’s only getting worse by the day. We have always been strict parents and have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Respect, Spanking, Tantrums

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Time for A Garden Kick

Posted on 8/27/2021

We have our 12 year old son's phone locked for certain reasons. If his grades slip below a B we lock it so he can only call family, if he is disrespectful or doesn't complete his chores, his...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Teenage Issues

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"Anything for Attention and The Most Annoying Thing Ever"

Posted on 8/11/2021

I have a seven year old boy who is a copycat. There are adults around him who clear their throat, so now he is clearing his throat. It has become a habit and when he gets mad, he exaggerates it...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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Consistency is the key to success

Posted on 8/10/2021

I have a 6 yo daughter and 3 yo son. Daughter is often "mean" to son verbally. His 3 yr old talkativeness bothers her, and she frequently shouts at him ("be quiet!" etc.) My and wife's approach...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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The Doctor can Help!

Posted on 8/7/2021

My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

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Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Teaching Respect

Posted on 6/13/2021

My twin 6-year olds (one boy, one girl) are pretty good kids most of the time. But recently we’ve been struggling. They listen and obey my husband and I, but they don’t listen to other adults....

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Indulgent Grandparents

Posted on 4/12/2021

My 6 year old son has been spending more time with my parents without me present for special time. When I’m not there he has a level of indulgence that I think is probably common at grandparent’s...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

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It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, School Issues, Single Parents

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She's (M)Asking for Trouble--the 9-yr old and the 3 D's

Posted on 1/21/2021

My 9 year old daughter called me dumb this morning because we had a disagreement about the way you put on a mask. I was very upset and blew up and lost it on her. She was right about the mask and...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Manners, Respect

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Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Single Parents, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families

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Getting Tough With 8-Year Olds Behaviors

Posted on 1/13/2021

Me again! I feel like I’m asking weekly questions during this season of parenting. I’ve written about my sneaky 8-year old and I just need some clarification. I’ve read The Well-Behaved Child and...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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