Questions

Breaking Bad (habits, that is)

Posted on 4/4/2025

Our 4 yr daughter has a bad habit of picking her nose and biting her nails. We have told her that this is gross and puts germs in her mouth but she still does it. How do you suggest teaching her...

Too much Talk can make things worse!!!!

Posted on 3/31/2025

My four year-old son has constant negative talk after we provide positive feedback or reprimand him. Scenario 1: Mom & Dad: You road your bike so well! You’ve been working hard and...

Family pet safety

Posted on 3/18/2025

We have 2 dogs who are pretty friendly. Over the last couple months, our 4 and a half year old daughter has taken an intense interest in the dogs, to the point of following them around constantly...

Consider Changing Strategy with Young Children

Posted on 3/17/2025

I have a 3 and 5 year old. Recently they’ve taken up stalling and doing a half job when I give instructions. When getting ready for school, putting toys away, to doing evening house chores. I...

4 YO Not Fazed By Consequences

Posted on 2/7/2025

I’m struggling to find compelling consequences for my 4 year old. We’ve tried taking away privileges like TV shows and toys, but she quickly moves on. We’ve tried time out, but the effects are...

When asking doesn't work

Posted on 2/1/2025

Most evenings when we ask my daughters to clean up (6.5 and 4.5 years old) the 4 year old does one or all of the following; whine, says she can't do it, says it's too much, gets distracted, slowly...

Keep It Simple

Posted on 1/28/2025

We reached out in October regarding our 4-year-old son's hitting peers and defiance towards teachers at school. Mr. Rosemond recommended, and we are implementing the "on-call" parent, picking him...

Getting creative with your space

Posted on 12/29/2024

My four-year-old daughter shares a bedroom with her seventeen-year-old sister. Can you recommend an alternative consequence for tickets that would be as effective as sending her to her room for...

How to hold 5 yro's accountable

Posted on 12/14/2024

I am a single mom of twin boys that are 5. Their father and I have been in court most of the last year in a custody battle. My boys are typically well behaved thanks to reading your books...

Give Them an Inch...

Posted on 12/8/2024

We are in the process of resetting a slew of bad behaviors (sibling conflict, avoiding responsibility are currently the focus). I'm seeing an increase in defiance/disobedience, both directly and...

Tattling vs important information- 4 yro

Posted on 12/3/2024

At what point should we discipline for tattle telling? Our 4 year old loves to tell us when our 1-year old is doing something "wrong." My problem is that sometimes the information she gives me is...

Should I be concerned about what my children think of ME!!!!!!

Posted on 11/16/2024

What should the response be when my 6 year old daughter says "you dont love me," or "I don't think you love me" when something is taken away from her or she's punished?

Time for a visit from a coach

Posted on 11/5/2024

I am a single mom of 4. My childrens ears have officially stopped working and it's as if I'm not giving any instructions at all. The youngest (1.5) is now picking up on some bad behaviors. How do...

Change of focus is required

Posted on 11/3/2024

Our 4.5 year old (only child) daughter is incredibly intelligent, chatty, bright and social. We enrolled her in the local play school for socialization, and she goes to a local day home one day a...

SIBLINGS IN SAME BEDROOM

Posted on 10/26/2024

Within the past few months, we transitioned our 4.5 year old daughter and our currently 23-month old son to a set of bunk beds (has stairs, not a ladder) in preparation for our new baby being...

4 YO AGRESSIVE IN SCHOOL

Posted on 10/18/2024

Hello. We have a 4yr old son who is hitting other students, throwing toys and ignoring teacher's instructions. He has 4 incidents in 2 days and has been suspended for one day from school. In one...

5 YO Needs to Act His Age

Posted on 10/10/2024

Hello, our just turned 5 year old is wonderful in school and even won an award for being the most kind in his class. However at home, he whines, acts like he can’t do things, and cries about...

Parents are the star of the show

Posted on 9/28/2024

5 year old daughter habitually lies. Doesn’t take care of the things she owns. We have taken away everything in her room to give it back when we’ve seen progress. Shows no respect to older...

Mass Confusion Has Taken Over!

Posted on 9/27/2024

I need a reset with our boys, ages 11, 9, 6 & 5. After a season of intense caring for our baby and 2-year-old daughter, things have become a disaster. The top misbehaviors in the house are...

Daughter needs the Dr.'s help

Posted on 9/18/2024

I have a 5-yr old daughter disrupting her class on a daily basis. Her teacher has asked that we speak with her as it has become a problem as her teacher is constantly having to stop and start...

The Ticket System

Posted on 9/13/2024

We are using John's Ticket System. Should my 4-year-old lose all 5 tickets before lunchtime? Is it reasonable to confine said 4-year-old to his room for the remainder of the day with the exception...

KIDS DON'T DO THEIR CHORES

Posted on 9/11/2024

Hi My question relates to chores and tasks and how to handle matters when they are not completed. We have x3 kids (8, 7, 5) who each have 3 chores each to do daily. Regarding chores; many...

SWIM LESSONS...OR NOT?

Posted on 9/11/2024

Our soon-to-be 4yo son has been taking a swim lesson once a week at a local swim school for 7 months. He is sometimes nervous in new situations, but showed no hesitancy about his first lesson and...

4YO's Behavior Wreaking Havoc

Posted on 9/5/2024

Our 4yr old son went from a local daycare where the children were allowed to run wild and is now in a private Montessori school. He will not respond to redirection, ignores instructions & lashes...

B.O. & B.O.!

Posted on 8/29/2024

Hi, a common thread here with my questions but thought I'd ask the experts. My 5 year old grandson is still sleeping in his parents bed. I said something and I think they all realize it has to...

5 YO's Low Tolerance for Frustration is Frustrating Mom

Posted on 8/20/2024

Our 5 year old son has little control over his emotions. A year ago it was mainly struggling with perfectionism and crying about not doing something the “right” way, lately it’s a big outburst...

Be a Confident Leader

Posted on 8/19/2024

When using the tickets system with children (3-6 years old), how long should you give them to obey an instruction before a ticket is taken? Should you give them a minute or so grace period after...

Enter the Doctor

Posted on 8/15/2024

I have a 4-year-old who has been having sleeping problems which started about 4 months ago, out of the blue. He had been a good sleeper prior. He decided he was scared at night and didn't want to...

Toilet Training Regression, Don't Turn to Pull-Ups

Posted on 7/7/2024

My sweet five year old boy is in the midst of a full potty training regression. He was fully potty trained and then we moved and he is back in pull ups full time while home with me for the summer....

Retraining will be challenging, possible and necessary.

Posted on 6/24/2024

Due with baby #3 in 9mon… 4yo and 2.5yo still sleeping with mom and dad, 2.5yo not potty trained. Where do we start in retraining our children so that our bed can be child free, and out of diapers...

Grandparent Woes

Posted on 6/12/2024

Hi, we are visiting a son, wife and only grandson with them who is 5 He is basically spoiled and being bratty. My question is when we go over for dinner, staying at a vrbo, he is saying "don't...

Posted on 5/29/2024

How do we make our 4-year old daughter care about peeing in her pants? She was seemingly potty-trained a couple of months ago, and then accidents started happening frequently the last month or...

No pass for naughty behavior.

Posted on 5/28/2024

My 5 year old has apraxia of speech and does both speech therapy and OT. He is very smart but gets frustrated very easily when things are difficult. He will be starting Kindergarten at the school...

Reclaim the Baton of Power

Posted on 5/21/2024

My 5-year-old daughter is nearly always waking up in a sour mood. Her eyebrows low, frumpy look, tense arms. It's been so exhausting to start on that foot the past few months. How can I...

Why Is My 5 Year Old a Mean Girl?

Posted on 5/7/2024

Our 5-year-old daughter has been acting aggressively towards others (classmates in school AND her 7-year-old brother) when either she doesn't like what they do or they won't let her do whatever...

Nighttime Potty Training a 4-Year-Old

Posted on 5/1/2024

My daughter is 4 and I've been putting off nighttime potty training until the school year ends because sleep deprivation turns her into a bear. Once school is over, I plan to start with John's...

5 YO GIRL SELF-STIMULATING

Posted on 4/24/2024

Hi John, Your work has been of immense value for our family! We have two little girls (5 and 2). The 5 y/o has been touching her vagina quite frequently. It started to concern us a few...

Time to get their attention

Posted on 4/20/2024

Hi I wrote in 10 days ago and never heard back. We’re struggling with bedtime. We have 2 girls, ages 5 and 3. We moved them into the same bedroom about a month ago. We read another response to...

Don't talk so much

Posted on 3/21/2024

My 4 year old daughter has been having problems listening and following directions, particularly at her after school program. She gets written up at least once a week and has been suspended from...

Challenges to challenging behaviors.

Posted on 3/20/2024

Our 5.5 year old boy consistently whines, cries or throws mild tantrums at disappointments. We recognize this is inappropriate, but have struggled to have victory in this area. Typically, when...

Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

Upping the Ante Not Working with Misbehaving 5YO

Posted on 3/17/2024

We have a 5 year old who continues to disobey. We tell her “go upstairs it’s time to brush your teeth.” Or “It’s time to clean up your legos.” And she’ll say, “No!” If we up the ante and say,...

Choices for Children?

Posted on 2/28/2024

Hello, listening to John's podcast. Great stuff. When is it permissible to allow a child a choice? I understand John speaks against 'democratic' parenting but would be good to hear a podcast...

Grandparent's observation.

Posted on 2/27/2024

My almost 4 year old(in one month) Grand Daughter vigorously fights her parents over many things. In the morning, she fights over the choice of clothes and getting dressed(30-45 mins). She often...

Disruptive Diner

Posted on 2/21/2024

Our youngest child is 5 and was adopted as an infant (not a newborn). He has strong food preferences. Our other boys (biological) eat well; they can be picky at times, but we don't fix special...

Require Independent Play

Posted on 2/17/2024

We are trying to promote our kids to be more independent with regards to their play. They are all boys ages 9, 7 and 5. They can play independently, but still want me to play with them and often...

Child Sneaking out of Room for Snacks

Posted on 2/17/2024

When using the Doctor Method and sending your kids to bed early, what do you do when your kid is then so well rested, wakes up before everyone else, and rummages through the kitchen? My 5-year-old...

Teaching Manners to a Five-Year-Old

Posted on 2/7/2024

During a recent visit to a private school we are considering sending our daughter to, I found it difficult to have a conversation with the school staff due to my daughter's constant whining and...

How to use charts/tickets with 3 kids

Posted on 1/13/2024

How to decide to use chart or ticket system for 3 kids? 11 y/o and 9 y/o sons would have same misbehaviors #1 Do things 1st time asked #2 Clean up after yourself #3 Aggravating sibling (Sibling...

Time for a Visit From the Doctor

Posted on 12/29/2023

I'm at a loss for direction. I tried lumping my kids together with a chart just to find how different they are. My 4 y/o loves to relentlessly antagonize my 5 y/o whiner, and my 7 y/o loves to...

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