"If; when your child does something "bad," you feel bad about it, your child won't. "

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Potty Training Isn’t the Same for Each Child

Posted 3 days ago

I began potty training my second son 6 days ago. He is so different than my first! Help! He doesn't seem too concerned about messes. He simply says "Uh-oh" and keeps on playing. When I say "Go sit...

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How To Apply Discipline Techniques While Not at Home

Posted 1 week ago

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the "three strikes" method with...

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Don't Feed 5 YO's Desire to Acquire

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 5 1/2-year-old boy is greedy. If he gets a present he is excited and laser-focused on it. He is not appreciative once he gets it. He plays with it a bit then wants more. He is a sweet...

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Sibling Warfare

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

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Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

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Normal Kindergarten Boy

Posted on 9/21/2020

Our 5-year-old is struggling in kindergarten because of behavior. He runs around the classroom instead of staying in his seat, refuses to stay quiet (shouts) when the teacher is teaching and...

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Difficult transition for a 4 year old.

Posted on 9/17/2020

Hello again, Gretchen, Thank you for your previous advice on not saying too much to my 4 year old about his father and I separation. I have followed the advice but my 4 year old is now having...

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Mean behavior on playground

Posted on 9/10/2020

Advice please for mom of a strong-willed preschool girl age 4 who got into trouble at pre-school for being mean to other children. The teacher said she has tried talking to preschool girl about...

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Continue to beware of TMI

Posted on 9/9/2020

Hi, My 4 yr old grandsons mother walked out on the family 1 1/2 years ago. As he is aging he is asking more questions , and we are telling him it is not his fault, and that he has us, his dad and...

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Explaining marital problems to a 4 year old.

Posted on 8/21/2020

About 5 days ago, my 4 year old son and I escaped a domestic violence situation. My husband is now in a behavioral health hospital for the unforeseen future and we have been staying at my dad’s...

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2-Year-Old and 4-Year-Old Can't Get Along

Posted on 8/20/2020

My 2 year old and my 4 year old seem to not be able to stay with each other for 5 min with out fitting over something ... should I say something or let them work it out because it seem like a...

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What Is A Normal 3 Year Old?

Posted on 8/19/2020

Our little boy turns 3 in a week. He is one of the youngest in his preschool class (cutoff is 9/1 and his birthday is 8/25) and some classmates have been 3 since last fall. I feel that he is...

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TIme to work with a coach.

Posted on 8/18/2020

Hi there. My husband and I have twin boys who will turn five years old at the end of October. Over the past few weeks, the competition between the two of them has really increased. I know that...

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Needy 5 year old

Posted on 8/10/2020

My soon to be ( in 2 months) 5 year old is extremely needy. He doesn't play by himself and if he does it is for a very short time. 20 to 30 minutes maybe. He will not go to sleep without one of us...

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4-Year-Old Acts Out when Reprimanded

Posted on 7/22/2020

Our four year old uses her "animal brain" more often than I would expect. She loses control and acts out when she is reprimanded. We don't want to spank for every act of disobedience. When is...

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Help! Our Daughter Keeps Her Sister up at Bedtime!

Posted on 7/20/2020

Our daughters are five and almost three and recently started sharing a room. So far, it has been a positive experience and both of them sleep better and wake up less often. However, when we...

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A Room With Her Sister

Posted on 7/18/2020

Hello! Our daughters are five and going on three. We got a bunk bed and since about 6 weeks they are not just sharing a bunk bed but also sharing a room. It has been a positive experience in...

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Cutting the Mealtime Cord

Posted on 7/18/2020

Hello! Our second and youngest daughter is going on three in a month. I am wondering about realistic expectations at the dinner table for her; especially if she is able to eat herself and can...

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Help! Quarantine Has Thrown a Kink in Our Schedule!

Posted on 6/23/2020

My husband has been working from home for the last few months and this has brought new challenges with our 5 and 6 year old boys. Prior to him working from home I had a routine of them playing in...

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No More Naps? Call the Doctor!

Posted on 6/12/2020

I’ve written about our middle son previously. He turned 4 a few weeks ago. He no longer naps but seems really tired during the day. He whines, seems clumsy (which I believe to be related to being...

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Tips for Purging Toys

Posted on 6/11/2020

My kids have too many toys, dolls and stuffed animals. They are ages 10, 7, 4, and 1. For the older three kids can I just get rid of things without their knowing, or do I need to talk to them...

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How to Stop Thumb Sucking

Posted on 5/13/2020

Our 4 1/2 year old still sucks his thumb when he's tired or bored. We call him out on it when we see it. I've looked online, but all the advice is pretty much 'feed and reward them', 'discuss it...

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Playing with Toy Guns- Keep It Simple

Posted on 5/2/2020

My son has taken an interest in gun play. He likes making guns with blocks of lego and sticks and playing with his nerf gun. I want him to enjoy this play but in a way that is fun and healthy,...

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Posted on 4/27/2020

My 4 year old Grandson told me last night...that his Moms friend gave him some sleepy medicine and gave the 2 yr old brother some....brother was in bed asleep at 7. He further informed me that it...

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Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

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7 year old craving constant attention

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old struggles to play by himself. He wants me to play with him all the time. For example he is always complaining he cannot find a Lego piece before he has actually looked, he needs help...

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Naps are just what the doctor ordered

Posted on 4/14/2020

My child talks non stop all day and is always asking questions. I can also barely get to the end of 2 sentences of a book without him interrupting and asking a question. I don’t want to crush his...

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5 Y/O Does Not Fully Comply With Consequence

Posted on 4/3/2020

My younger boy, age 5 is on the ticket system. When he loses his tickets he go upstairs to his room for the rest of the day except meals. Problem is he doesn't stay in his room. He sits at the top...

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How to Nip Interrupting in the Bud

Posted on 4/1/2020

How would you train your 7 and 4 year olds from interrupting adult conversations?

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Same bedtime for the children

Posted on 3/22/2020

Our 4 year old, and 20 month year old boys share a room. We want to do the 5 minute check in with our 20 month old to get him to sleep in his crib, and not in our bed. However, the 4 year old...

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Addressing Food Issues - Part 1

Posted on 3/22/2020

Our kids are 10, 6, 4, and 20 months. The 10, 6, and 4 year olds do not eat their dinners very well. Sometimes they don't eat at all and pick and complain about their food. I get tired of...

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Helping Kids Deal With Coronavirus Anxiety

Posted on 3/20/2020

Hello, I'd like some advice on how to handle my almost 5 year old daughter's worry/nerves at night since this whole coronavirus pandemic took over. She usually goes to school every morning and...

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Alpha speech and consistency

Posted on 3/2/2020

We’ve had an overall improvement in our kids (boys ages 3 and 5) since starting the ticket system and changing the way we talk to them. Transition points are still incredibly difficult. For...

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Sibling Must Work it Out!

Posted on 3/1/2020

I have two children: An 8-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever my daughter doesn’t have school, however, we have conflict. My son...

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Ball is in the Parent's Court

Posted on 1/31/2020

Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...

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How to Tame the Whining

Posted on 1/29/2020

My 5-year-old has regressed with his whining. His baby brother is going through his terrible 2’s, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to copy that behavior. I am presently trying to send him to his...

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4 Year Old Biting Must Stop

Posted on 1/13/2020

Our 4 year old son's teacher called home today after school to tell us that he got into an argument with a peer over a toy. While pulling back and forth for the toy, our son bit the other child....

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Worry or Not?

Posted on 1/12/2020

41/2 year old grandchild’s 4 year old k4 teacher said she does not know her alphabet. She had big vocabulary and seems bright but just will not say them. Is this just her being stubborn? She...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Alpha Speech is Key to Parental Leadership

Posted on 1/9/2020

Hello. Our daughter just turned 5. She has started to argue, history, say she didn’t hear, that she forgot and any number of excuses when she has disobeyed us. If we ask her to go put her toy...

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4 Year Old Boy's Baffling Behavior

Posted on 1/2/2020

We adopted our son in October 2018. He was almost 3 years old. Right away I noticed he banged his head in his sleep or to go to sleep. Banged into his hands or pillow, almost rhythmically. I know...

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Ending the Food Battle

Posted on 12/17/2019

We are having many battles over food in our house. We have boys ages five, three, and one. The older boys go to preschool and are usually going without an adequate breakfast. They are offered food...

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Should we cancel Christmas?

Posted on 12/16/2019

We are a family with 4 kids (13 year old boy, 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl, 4 year old girl). None of them have any electronics (since October 2019). The three older ones did have cell...

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Bump in the Road

Posted on 12/3/2019

My son is 4 years old and lately has been having trouble sleeping. He gets up several times a night and wants me to sleep with him. I have been divorced for 1 year and have joint custody with my...

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Expat needs help choosing school

Posted on 12/2/2019

My wife and I are expats living abroad and we are starting on the journey of selecting a school for our eldest (5yr old daughter). Being abroad seems to limit the opportunities available for...

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Mommy Guilt Not Helping Anyone

Posted on 11/30/2019

I have a 5 month old daughter who likes to be held and cuddled all day long. I love the cuddles and I am trying to make the most of this stage as I know how quickly it goes, and I deeply regret...

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It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

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Bedwetting

Posted on 11/20/2019

Trying to teach our 4 year old to use the potty at night. We started out with having him go to bed with only a shirt on. After many mornings of waking up soaked we decided to buy the potty alarm....

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