"How do you get a child to do what he's told the first time he's told? Don't ever repeat yourself. "

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Same bedtime for the children

Posted 1 week ago

Our 4 year old, and 20 month year old boys share a room. We want to do the 5 minute check in with our 20 month old to get him to sleep in his crib, and not in our bed. However, the 4 year old...

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Addressing Food Issues - Part 1

Posted 1 week ago

Our kids are 10, 6, 4, and 20 months. The 10, 6, and 4 year olds do not eat their dinners very well. Sometimes they don't eat at all and pick and complain about their food. I get tired of...

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Helping Kids Deal With Coronavirus Anxiety

Posted 1 week ago

Hello, I'd like some advice on how to handle my almost 5 year old daughter's worry/nerves at night since this whole coronavirus pandemic took over. She usually goes to school every morning and...

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Alpha speech and consistency

Posted 4 weeks ago

We’ve had an overall improvement in our kids (boys ages 3 and 5) since starting the ticket system and changing the way we talk to them. Transition points are still incredibly difficult. For...

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Sibling Must Work it Out!

Posted 4 weeks ago

I have two children: An 8-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever my daughter doesn’t have school, however, we have conflict. My son...

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Ball is in the Parent's Court

Posted on 1/31/2020

Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...

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How to Tame the Whining

Posted on 1/29/2020

My 5-year-old has regressed with his whining. His baby brother is going through his terrible 2’s, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to copy that behavior. I am presently trying to send him to his...

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4 Year Old Biting Must Stop

Posted on 1/13/2020

Our 4 year old son's teacher called home today after school to tell us that he got into an argument with a peer over a toy. While pulling back and forth for the toy, our son bit the other child....

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Worry or Not?

Posted on 1/12/2020

41/2 year old grandchild’s 4 year old k4 teacher said she does not know her alphabet. She had big vocabulary and seems bright but just will not say them. Is this just her being stubborn? She...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Alpha Speech is Key to Parental Leadership

Posted on 1/9/2020

Hello. Our daughter just turned 5. She has started to argue, history, say she didn’t hear, that she forgot and any number of excuses when she has disobeyed us. If we ask her to go put her toy...

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4 Year Old Boy's Baffling Behavior

Posted on 1/2/2020

We adopted our son in October 2018. He was almost 3 years old. Right away I noticed he banged his head in his sleep or to go to sleep. Banged into his hands or pillow, almost rhythmically. I know...

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Ending the Food Battle

Posted on 12/17/2019

We are having many battles over food in our house. We have boys ages five, three, and one. The older boys go to preschool and are usually going without an adequate breakfast. They are offered food...

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Should we cancel Christmas?

Posted on 12/16/2019

We are a family with 4 kids (13 year old boy, 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl, 4 year old girl). None of them have any electronics (since October 2019). The three older ones did have cell...

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Bump in the Road

Posted on 12/3/2019

My son is 4 years old and lately has been having trouble sleeping. He gets up several times a night and wants me to sleep with him. I have been divorced for 1 year and have joint custody with my...

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Expat needs help choosing school

Posted on 12/2/2019

My wife and I are expats living abroad and we are starting on the journey of selecting a school for our eldest (5yr old daughter). Being abroad seems to limit the opportunities available for...

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Mommy Guilt Not Helping Anyone

Posted on 11/30/2019

I have a 5 month old daughter who likes to be held and cuddled all day long. I love the cuddles and I am trying to make the most of this stage as I know how quickly it goes, and I deeply regret...

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It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

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Bedwetting

Posted on 11/20/2019

Trying to teach our 4 year old to use the potty at night. We started out with having him go to bed with only a shirt on. After many mornings of waking up soaked we decided to buy the potty alarm....

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Maintaining Your Own Identity

Posted on 11/20/2019

Hi, My family (my husband and I) have the opportunity for me to leave the workforce for a few years to stay home with our 5 year old and 1 year old twins. While I am thrilled to have this...

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Being in charge means...

Posted on 11/9/2019

How do you recommend dealing with whining and bad attitudes? We we using the ticket system with our 5 year old and it is helping with bigger bad behaviors. We are working to use Alpha speech and...

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Nip Physical Aggression in the Bud

Posted on 11/8/2019

We have been doing the ticket system with our four-year-old for the last four days. He has one targeting behavior, “refusing to listen,” and five tickets. Every day since we started, he has lost...

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Challenges of Ticket System for Mother of Four

Posted on 11/7/2019

Our oldest 4 children, ages 10, 8, 6, and 5, are all on the tickets system. They each start the day with 5 tickets. The first three tickets lost are "free", the 4th ticket costs them the...

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Seeking Friends

Posted on 11/5/2019

Hello! We have a wonderful 5 year old boy who started kindergarten this past August. He is wonderfully sweet, but a bit naive. As his mother, a lot of my interests which can definitely be...

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Prevarications, Pranks and Privileges

Posted on 11/1/2019

My 5 year old child seems to be developing a habit for lying. Last night, he stayed with a friend and her two kids while I attended a meeting. On our way home, he told me this..."Zachary did...

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4-Year-Old Running the Show

Posted on 10/31/2019

What if our 4 year old refuses to stay in his room after he loses his 5 tickets?

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Train Him Up

Posted on 10/24/2019

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted on 10/24/2019

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

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Preschooler Refuses to Attend School

Posted on 10/22/2019

We have a 4 1/2 year old in preschool. He has been going to school fine. He doesn’t always want to stay without me but usually ends up doing fine. Yesterday he did not want to stay. The teacher...

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Resist excuses to wander at bedtime.

Posted on 10/22/2019

Our three and five-year-old boys who share a room started coming into our room at night. They usually say they are scared, or hungry. We have a 10-month-old who is newly adopted and not sleeping...

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Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

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Avoid Overreacting to 5-Year-Old's Comment

Posted on 10/19/2019

5yr old daughter, in kindergarten, when told she HAD to wear a jacket ( it was 40 degrees ) outside to catch the bus said she didn’t want to wear it because she would look fat. What to I say? I...

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Just give her some time!

Posted on 10/13/2019

Hello! Our daughter (4.5 yrs) (and her younger sister) recently started going to their grandmother (1 - 2 times a week for 4 hours each). In the beginning she enjoyed going but now she tells...

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Be the Alpha Female

Posted on 10/10/2019

Our 5 yo son is very well-behaved at school (he just started kindergarten 6 weeks ago) but his behavior has worsened by extremes at home. Especially at bedtime, if I don't snuggle him in his bed...

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5 yo kicking must be nipped in the bud

Posted on 10/9/2019

We recently adopted a 9 month Little boy. We have a three-year-old and five-year-old boy who love their new brother very much but have had some behavior issues since adopting him. I think it would...

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5 Year Old Using Anger to Manipulate

Posted on 10/9/2019

Hello, it’s been a bit since my last question. New ages, new problems. My son will be five in 1.5 months. We are having trouble with his anger. At least 5 times a day if he doesn’t get what he...

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Church Expectations

Posted on 10/6/2019

This is a question about age-appropriate expectations in Church. We have 6 children ages 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, and 1. I have told the older kids that, unless you are a baby or a toddler - which they...

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"Curious Questions"

Posted on 10/5/2019

Hello, My boys are 9, 7, and 4. I understand they are curious but they are constantly asking questions and asking for things which feels overwhelming. When they ask for things, I usually give...

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5 year old won’t stop chatting in noisy classroom setting

Posted on 9/23/2019

Hi. My son just entered kindergarten at a small parochial school. The teacher has 20 kids, more than she's had. She has told all the parents the class is chatty. She has tried four or five...

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Odd Behavior is Normal

Posted on 9/22/2019

Hi there, our son just turned 4 in August. Recently, when we scold him, he begins to slap himself. He does this in public too. Is there anything we can do about this? Thank you!

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Sibling Rivalry Not Improving

Posted on 9/22/2019

Hello! Our daughter (26 months) has been hitting, scratching, biting etc her sister (almost 4.5 years old). At first we told her a firm no but now the incidents have increased and we put her in...

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How to Discipline at Home for Misbehavior at School

Posted on 9/16/2019

Hello, our 4-year-old scratched another student at school today because he wouldn’t be his friend. How do we discipline at home for school misbehavior? Thank you!

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Behavior getting worse not better

Posted on 9/15/2019

I just started reading the well behaved child. I have a 6 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. Their behavior has gotten worse. My daughter comes out of her room constantly after having been...

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"Doctor" Makes House Call for 5 YO Preschooler

Posted on 9/7/2019

My 5 year old girl is strong willed, defiant and disobedient. She throws frequent tantrums when not getting her way. At school she is fine but anywhere else she acts out (screams, rages, scowls,...

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Nap Time Distractions

Posted on 9/5/2019

Another thing that keeps coming up.. my child does not sit still on her nap mat at school and is getting in trouble for it. Are there ways to help her learn to lay quietly even when she isn’t...

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Nice Krispeas for Breakfast

Posted on 9/4/2019

Hi there. So i previously just wrote about one of my 5 year old twin boys not eating what we give him. I have followed the advice of not giving him anything else to eat but the problem I'm...

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Consequences for 4-yo biting friend

Posted on 9/4/2019

Is there an age appropriate punishment for a child biting a friend at 4 years old?

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I don't want my kids to be rude!

Posted on 9/3/2019

Hi. I have 5 yo twin boys. They are not shy but when we are out and an adult asks them a question they usually do not respond. Its generally a pretty simple question like "How old are you now?" or...

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Kindergarten bathroom blues.

Posted on 8/30/2019

My 5yr old just started kindergarten and refuses to use the bathroom. There is one right off her classroom, but she won’t use it. Now, this is a child that has never had any issues using public...

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The way we were

Posted on 8/25/2019

My twin boys are 5. Our bedtime routine consists of dinner, bath, pjs, I read one book each then lights off and goodnight. It used to work good but then the boys got sick and kept passing strep...

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