Questions

Adoption questions

Posted 6 days ago

We have adopted 2 sons. They are 5 and 3 years old, and they came to us as babies (6 months and 3 1/2 months). They have never had any family member visits, or anyone in their lives other than my...

Finding Herself

Posted on 12/15/2021

Second question... We have 2 foster kiddos we're adopting. I have an 11 year old foster daughter who is really an amazing, respectful and happy girl. She really struggles with figuring out who...

Fear of the New

Posted on 12/15/2021

Our Foster son (8 years old) who we will be adopting in the next 6 months (working on paperwork and all the legal stuff that goes with it) has a very low self esteem and melts down and has a full...

Foster Child Struggles With Sleep

Posted on 1/29/2021

I have a 6 yr old foster child who comes out of his bedroom 20-30 or more a night. He refuses to stay in his room. We have tried all kinds of consequences and nothing seems to work. He even laughs...

Posted on 1/28/2021

My grandson was adopted from an orphanage in India when he was 3 years old. My daughter and son-in-law have had him for 2 years as he will be 5 in June. This boy is and has been an unbelievingly...

Dealing with 6-Year-Old's Backtalk and Lies

Posted on 10/9/2020

My husband and I are taking custody of a six year old little boy (no relation to us) who has been abandoned by his meth addicted mother, and his father whom he's never met is in prison for...

Books about Boys

Posted on 8/12/2020

Hi, My husband and I are going to be taking custody of a 6 year old boy whose mother is a meth addict and has exposed him to major drug use including overdose by outsiders. He is remarkably well...

Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

4 Year Old Boy's Baffling Behavior

Posted on 1/2/2020

We adopted our son in October 2018. He was almost 3 years old. Right away I noticed he banged his head in his sleep or to go to sleep. Banged into his hands or pillow, almost rhythmically. I know...

Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

Sleep issues with 9 m/o adoptee

Posted on 10/9/2019

We recently adopted a nine-month-old boy. He’s been delightful and sweet during the day but has trouble going down to sleep for naps and nighttime. He also wakes up several times at night and...

Retreats with Dr. Rosemond

Posted on 8/30/2019

Will there be any parent retreats in 2020 on the east coast? We would be interested.

Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted on 8/30/2019

My husband and I recently legally adopted our six and half year old nephew who has been living with us since he was 2.5. He did not know us prior to him coming to live with us. He comes from a...

Continuing Challenges with 6-Year-Old

Posted on 8/5/2019

Our 6-year-old daughter will go to school in a month. Some doctors say she has ADHD. We take much effort to prepare her for school as she is falling behind on knowledge that is required for...

Premature Worry

Posted on 7/30/2019

Hello. I adopted my son, now 5 1/2, at birth, and I am a single working (teacher) mother. He is close to my brothers and my dad and has never expressed a desire for a dad and when asked, will...

When only one child misbehaves should the other kids have to miss out?

Posted on 7/24/2019

We live in an apartment. During the working days I am at work all day long. We have three girls: 6-year old, 4-year old and 3-month old baby. The two older kids have been adopted three years ago...

To Adopt or Not Adopt

Posted on 6/12/2019

Hello, We are considering adopting a child who was addicted to methamphetamine in the womb. He also was exposed to marijuana and cigarettes. We have compassion for him, and we know it is not...

A Six Year old's School Struggles

Posted on 10/22/2018

Our 6 yo girl went to school this year and she faced three problems there: First, she doesn’t recognize teachers’ authority (although she has due respect to us parents). This problem is further...

The Cost of Working

Posted on 8/20/2018

I have a 9 year old in school and a 2 year old foster child that we are adopting who was placed with us in February. When she was placed with us I cut back my workload to try and spend as much...

Grandma custody of 4yro

Posted on 8/3/2018

My 4 year old Grandson who has always lived with me seems to be having some new concerns regarding his Mom. His Mom, has not seen him since Christmas Day, and has not contacted me to do so. Yes,...

Husband and 19 yr old step son have no relationship

Posted on 6/4/2018

My husband and 19 year old son seem to have absolutely no relationship. (My husband adopted my kids) I’ve been urging them for years to go do stuff together, whatever. 2 weeks ago, our counselor...

Moms

Posted on 5/8/2018

Have custody of a now, 4 year old Grandson. Mom abandoned him at about 18 months old, moved to Florida to make porn. Returned after that didn't work for her. My husband and I refused to allow...

Foster child whining to get his way

Posted on 2/27/2018

We care for a foster child who is 4, going on 5 in less than two weeks. He & his brother (age 6) have been with us for 2 weeks shy of a year. The 4 year old is extremely emotionally immature. We...

Dismissed from kindergarten

Posted on 1/22/2018

My six year old son is being expelled from his Catholic kindergarten. He says another child told him to ask a girl if a grown up ever touched her privates. She went home told her mother. He was...

Stranger Danger or Precocious Preschooler?

Posted on 12/25/2017

Dear John and the ParentGuru crew, We have 5 years old daughter (adopted a year ago). The issue is that she can go to total strangers and hug them or chat with them whenever an opportunity...

Five year old uncooperative, and more

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am a preschool principal, I have a 5 year-old child who has problems. He has been with us since he was 4 (we have used many ways to discipline him but it doesn't work). He is able to...

6-Block Chart Program

Posted on 9/29/2017

My son is 9 1/2. Over the last few months we have implemented the daily 6 block chart program after reading The Well Behaved Child in response to the defiance and attitude we had been seeing...

Protecting Great Grandson

Posted on 8/6/2017

We have had legal guardianship of our great-grandson for the last 2 years. He is now 4 years old. The grandfather is disabled and both his parents are drug addicts. My question is should we...

15-year-old doesn't like being "un-hinged!"

Posted on 8/4/2017

We have an adopted son, almost 16 yo, who has been with us for 2 1/2 years. He spent most of his earlier life in an over-crowded orphanage, with very little male influence and little supervision....

9 year wants to know how woman get pregnant

Posted on 5/17/2017

I have a soon to be 9 year old adopted daughter (who was adopted at birth) that is starting to ask a lot of questions about how a woman gets pregnant. She is adamant that she wants to adopt...

Hard Rocker

Posted on 5/9/2017

Our 5 year old adopted child was born drug addicted, had a trach and gtube for first 4 years of her life. In NICU for first 6 months. To comfort herself she rocks back and forth, slams her back...

Sticky Fingers

Posted on 3/4/2017

Our five year old (foster) son has begun stealing things from other children's book bags (or toys that are left out) at his after-school program. He's a curious little fellow and has a hard time...

Update on discipline challenges.

Posted on 11/4/2016

I said he had tried. Having been a foster parent for many years, I am well aware of the need to be vigilant. Most of my adopted children entered my home with the mindset that behavior was just...

Ongoing discipline challenges.

Posted on 11/1/2016

At my wit's end. You told me it would get harder before it gets better, but we are merely warehousing this boy. At fifteen he does whatever he wants whenever he wants. We have successfully used...

Ten year old with multiple issues

Posted on 10/1/2016

Adopted Female child age 10; neglect and multiple traumas, sexual abuse. She is in complete safety for 4+ years now, yet she is Hypersensitive, intense, social issues, cannot get along with...

Out-of-Control Kindergartner

Posted on 8/21/2016

I am a kindergarten teacher and have a student with anger management issues. When he has to clean up what he's playing with or something doesn't go his way, he gets out of control...throws chair,...

Adopted daughter and extended family problems

Posted on 6/25/2016

I have a very energetic defiant adopted daughter. She was diagnosed with ADHD. We have given her medicine in the past but after reading John's book have taken her off and are trying consistent...

Underage Drinker Wannabe

Posted on 6/17/2016

My 14 years old son wants to taste alcohol regularly. He recently told us that he would buy vodka with his money (we indicated that if we ever have a doubt about him buying alcohol/drugs with the...

Adopted 3 year olds questions.

Posted on 6/6/2016

Hello- I have a 3 year old female toddler and I adopted her as a single mother. She often says I am gonna tell Daddy- where is my Daddy? She craves male attention and my 70 year old Dad lives 8...

Open Adoption Rights

Posted on 5/19/2016

What can you tell me about my, and my son's rights in open adoption? The mother has missed last two court scheduled visits. Made no other contact since. Father missed last scheduled visit. Wants...

Grandparents now Parenting 8 YO with ADHD

Posted on 4/30/2016

We've very recently taken legal custody of our 8 yr old granddaughter and truthfully do not know what kinds of behaviors to expect of 8 year olds. Of concern is that she has extreme mood swings...

Adoption Questions

Posted on 9/29/2015

We Just adopted our 3 year old great grandson. What is the best way to explain it to him? It was an open adoption. Should he still call us Mima and Papa, or are mom and dad better for him?

3 Year Old Relationship with Birth Mother

Posted on 9/4/2015

My almost three year old is adopted. Our arrangement with her birth-mom, was that we would allow supervised visits for so long as the relationship was healthy for our daughter. The birth-mom is...

Juvenile Detention Part 2

Posted on 7/3/2015

Thanks, Carrie, for answering. We had just recently restored the things to his room. He leads a very isolated life due to his behaviors and that is difficult. We recently sent him off to find...

Value of Juvenile Detention

Posted on 6/30/2015

Back again with a question concerning our now nearly fourteen year old boy. John told us that fourteen and fifteen would be worse. In some ways it is, in others, not so bad. But a couple of...

Is Adopted Child Happy?

Posted on 1/5/2015

I have 2 children, my daughter is adopted from China. Husband and I make sure she knows she is very loved and wanted, I tell her I am open to ANY questions she has regarding her beginnings....

Adopting Older Children

Posted on 10/30/2014

My wife and I are trying to adopt older children from Ethiopia. Our Christian faith-based adoption agency required us to study lessons in a video training course called Because They Waited which...

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