Questions

10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

"Milquetoastness": the Bane of a Father; plus, a 15-Year Old's Enslavement

Posted on 10/12/2022

15 y.o. son is in a split living situation- one week with Mom, one week with Me. I am trying to figure out what to do with him and technology. Video gaming has become an addiction. I am okay with...

Keep It Simple

Posted on 7/13/2022

I’m a single mother of a 2.5 year old. Her father has never been in the picture at all. She’s starting to notice other kids have a dad and she doesn’t. How do I explain his absence to her and...

Parent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child

Posted on 1/19/2022

This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...

Time to Reboot

Posted on 9/25/2021

Mum burn out..I really struggle with following through because I am exhausted and will lose my temper by shouting, sometimes I want to lash out in violence because I’ve lost control but I haven’t...

Granny is Tired of 7 Year Olds Nightly Walks

Posted on 8/21/2021

My granddaughter lives with me, along with her two children The 7 year old boy is a tough case. His mother and I do NOT parent anything alike. This boy gets up almost every night and roams the...

When Your Teen Cancels God

Posted on 8/1/2021

Our 15 year old (High IQ) grandson recently informed his mother (our daughter) that he does not believe in God. This has devastated her and us.She is divorced from his father and they have 50/50...

Be the Mean Mum!

Posted on 4/11/2021

My 8 year old son has came back from spending the weekend with his dad and dad's family. He said I’m a strict mean mum because his 8 year old cousin has an iPhone, TikTok and YouTube channel...

7 year old boy not able to see his dad often.

Posted on 4/9/2021

Our grandson, age 7, sees his dad very little. The result of an affair, his wife refuses to let our son see this child. Our grandson knows he has a half brother and sister that get to see their...

It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Respect isn't Optional

Posted on 12/26/2020

Hello- I am so glad I subscribed to Parent Guru! I love reading all the questions/answers!! So I have a 9 year old son and unfortunately his father and I have divorced. I moved (with my son)...

Difficult is Not Bad

Posted on 12/2/2020

I am homeschooling my Grandson, who is in first grade. He is a bright child, but not motivated for school. He has struggled with handwriting and anything which requires manual dexterity, or fine...

The Time for Tough Love is NOW

Posted on 10/31/2020

My son is 19 years old and has been graduated from high school for 1 1/2 years. His teen years were a struggle with almost not graduating, drug use and getting into trouble with the law. He no...

Parenting a Disrespectful Teen with Divorced Parents

Posted on 10/10/2020

Almost two years ago my husband left (affair) and we are in a very difficult divorce. We are not friendly and don’t communicate other than texting. We have four children together and have 50/50...

Unwell Mom Struggles with Screen Time Abuse

Posted on 9/19/2020

I am really unwell at the moment and my son is being kept home from school, I also have a 1 year old. I am trying to look after both while I get through this illness. Discipline has slided and...

Weed-be-Gone

Posted on 8/16/2020

My 15yo son admitted to me that a few months ago he took weed (THC) for about a week. Yesterday he and a friend took some more weed. I found out when his friend started feeling nauseated and dizzy...

Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

7 year old craving constant attention

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old struggles to play by himself. He wants me to play with him all the time. For example he is always complaining he cannot find a Lego piece before he has actually looked, he needs help...

Dads Are Never Done

Posted on 4/12/2020

I'm currently going through a divorce. Parenting has gotten increasingly harder for obvious reasons, and I'm the only disciplinarian. I'm concerned my kids - or some of them - are too old for me...

Co-Parenting precautions continued

Posted on 3/29/2020

My 7 year old son has picked up on some terrible slang while with his father. Everything is “banging mate” as one example. It sounds horrendous. How do I stop this?

College Student Has Lesson to Learn

Posted on 12/31/2019

I am a single mom of ten years to one son. He just completed his first semester of college at a Christian school. His faith is stronger than ever, he met some great people, was selected to be a...

Bump in the Road

Posted on 12/3/2019

My son is 4 years old and lately has been having trouble sleeping. He gets up several times a night and wants me to sleep with him. I have been divorced for 1 year and have joint custody with my...

It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

17 YO Girl Plays Blame Game

Posted on 10/3/2019

This was my last question and needed to help answer this question: John, I have read many of your books and listen to your podcast regularly. I am a Christian and agree with your biblical...

Discipline Heartily(with Infusions of Affection)

Posted on 9/22/2019

Good Morning, I am a single dad of 3 boys ages 7 and 3 yo twins. Recently one of the twin boys has been acting out at preschool and at home. He wont listen to instruction, throw toys, hit his...

Grandparent Etiquette

Posted on 9/15/2019

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted on 9/6/2019

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

Premature Worry

Posted on 7/30/2019

Hello. I adopted my son, now 5 1/2, at birth, and I am a single working (teacher) mother. He is close to my brothers and my dad and has never expressed a desire for a dad and when asked, will...

Going With Your Gut

Posted on 6/5/2019

I have a 17 yo daughter. I foolishly gave in to giving her an iPhone when she was 13. My husband died 4 years ago. Because of a rebellious attitude of her older sister, I realized these iPhones...

child sends mixed message

Posted on 5/5/2019

I have a personal friend that went through a bitter divorce approximately 6 years ago. She has 4 children ages 14, 13, 10.5 and 9.5. The three older ones are girls and the youngest a boy. The...

Let Go or No?

Posted on 3/16/2019

My 16 year old son wants to live with his dad in another state for his junior and senior years of high school. I’m reluctantly willing to let him go. How do I navigate this transition?

Prevailing not Travailing

Posted on 3/9/2019

My 14 year old daughter was mad at me about a consequence I gave her after clearly telling her what the expectations were. She knew what the rules were and broke them so I gave her the...

The Defiant Young Adult

Posted on 1/31/2019

My son turns 18 tomorrow. He seems to think this means he can do whatever he wants, including not doing what I ask. He is picking his girlfriend up at the airport this evening and I told him he...

The High School Experiment

Posted on 10/22/2018

I feel like I ask the same questions all the time. My 12th grader is stressing me out, he is barely making his grades in school coming in at B, C, D's and E's. He's a good kid but I suspect...

Grandma custody of 4yro

Posted on 8/3/2018

My 4 year old Grandson who has always lived with me seems to be having some new concerns regarding his Mom. His Mom, has not seen him since Christmas Day, and has not contacted me to do so. Yes,...

Two out of Three

Posted on 3/5/2018

My 9+ year old talks back to teachers and classmates, calls other students names, won't follow directions of teachers and refuses to do what he's been told (one teacher captured it perfectly...

9 YO Girl Resistant To Visits With Dad

Posted on 2/18/2018

I have a 9 year old daughter. Her mom and I split when she was 3-1/2 years old. We have a court ordered shared parenting plan. I have visitation 1 day/night each week and every other weekend...

15 yo Slacker

Posted on 5/1/2017

My son (15) will be 16 in August; I'm a single mom he has 2 other brothers, 8,13; I juggle extracurricular activities for the 2 (15 & 12) with others peoples help; acquaintances, friends helping...

12 yo Rage Out of Control

Posted on 2/13/2017

My 12 year old son has occasional anger issues and when he gets spun up (usually after I say no to him about something unreasonable) he gets into an extreme almost rage type anger. He has...

Is it the divorce or parenting?

Posted on 12/29/2016

I believe my 16 yo daughter needs to see a therapist. Recently divorced, we split we she was 13. She never really processed the divorce. She keeps everything inside. Very stoic, says she is...

13 yo Doesn't Like Divorced Mom Dating

Posted on 11/14/2016

Divorced about 3 years. Dating my boyfriend for 1 1/2years. I haven't push the relationship Ive given my 13 year old boy space. He doesn't like my boyfriends daughters. My moms bd was last...

Homeschool to Public School for Lonely Preteen

Posted on 10/13/2016

I have been homeschooling my daughter since she was 6. She is now 12. My health is failing me and I haven't been able to drive her out to co-op or sports weekly, but only occasionally. She is a...

Tween has Violent Outbursts

Posted on 6/3/2016

I am single mom. My 11 year-old son gets very angry about situations with his friends that he can't control and instead of working things out with his peers tries to shove me around and destroy...

Dating Again

Posted on 10/29/2014

I am a divorced father of a 5 year old girl. I have had primary custody of our daughter for 1 ½ years- however the actual divorce judgment was signed a mere 2 months ago. (My daughter doesn't...

7/10 YO Boys and Mornings

Posted on 4/28/2014

I have two boys, ages 7 and 10. Mornings are really rough and usually end up in tears. As a single mom, I am so tired of having such bad morning. Today, they are at home because I waited in the...

New Question

Posted on 2/1/2014

How do I know if I'm doing a good job as a parent? I get very discouraged at times. I have two sons ages 12 and 10. My 7th grade son seems very self-centered. I'm afraid he will never get over...

Grandmother raising 14 yo behavior problems

Posted on 1/2/2014

I am guardian of my 14 year old granddaughter who was abandoned by her emotionally abusive birth mother. Recently my granddaughter began to "hate all mothers" and has been unresponsive to me as...

15 year old pregnant, defiant

Posted on 11/6/2013

Good morning! I am working with a single mom whose divorce has been bitter. Many problematic areas have been addressed. However, I need counsel for a new problem. The 15 year old daughter now is...

15 yo son girlfriend and cell phone

Posted on 10/26/2013

I have a couple questions (at least), since this is my first time doing this on your site: 1) my 14, almost 15 year old, has been in a serious relationship with a girl (almost 15 year old). My...

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