Questions

Problems too general to address

Posted 1 week ago

My young daughter was a G9 student. She was great when in elementary school. But developing some issues in middle school. Now in high school, she tends to isolate herself, not talking to any of...

14-YEAR-OLD WITH EATING DISORDER

Posted 1 week ago

Dear John, We have a daughter, 14, who has developed bulimia. She has always tended toward sweets. I prepared healthy, homemade food and always told my kids my mom's rule: you have to try...

13-Year-Old is a Mean Sister

Posted 1 week ago

All three of our children bicker and argue, but our 13-year-old daughter takes it to a different level. She has been very mean to her sisters for a while now, constantly talking down to them,...

BOOKS ON PUBERTY AND REPRODUCTION

Posted 2 weeks ago

Have you any recommendations for books about puberty and reproduction that do not have underlying political or religious agendas? I am struggling to find just the right fit for my 10-year-old. One...

Be the Adult in the Room

Posted on 12/20/2022

Here goes the scenario, most of the time this happens while eating dinner, where one of my step kids will correct my "wording" or how I "phrased some words" I used in a sentence. I work all day...

Let's talk about sex

Posted on 11/9/2022

My 14 yr old daughter has been talking/FaceTiming with a 14 yr old boy from school and it has been sweet and innocent until this last week. They have been asking each other questions about sex. To...

THE PUNISHMENT FITS THE CRIME.

Posted on 10/19/2022

I am a principal at a Christian School. I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime" and do not generally issue standard consequences. I recently had a student to speak ill of another...

"Milquetoastness": the Bane of a Father; plus, a 15-Year Old's Enslavement

Posted on 10/12/2022

15 y.o. son is in a split living situation- one week with Mom, one week with Me. I am trying to figure out what to do with him and technology. Video gaming has become an addiction. I am okay with...

14 YEAR OLD USING FOOD AS A TOOL OF CONTROL

Posted on 10/5/2022

14 yr old son - food a power struggle Started out legit - rare dysautonomic condition (genetic) that makes a lot of food problematic. Also issues with low blood sugar. Picky eater out of...

The first to cave foreits a win

Posted on 10/4/2022

Our 15-year-old son stays out of trouble & is a good kid. The main issue is school. C student who lacks study skills, time mgmt, organizational skills, & seems fairly unmotivated. We have tried...

Ditch the "Smart" Phones

Posted on 10/1/2022

Hello, After coming in contact with your blog, I (dad) am trying to be more macro manager and not micro with my two girls, ages 13 and 11. They have iPhones. Should I be setting a screen time...

Call me they.

Posted on 9/3/2022

Two of my daughters, one jr. high the other a freshman declared they want to be addressed as they. This has taken me by surprise as I am close to my children. We monitor what they watch or read...

The Compass Points South: A 15-Year-Old’s Craving for Independence

Posted on 8/29/2022

I have a 15 year old daughter that I used to call my "compass" as she was such an easy child to raise. But, the last 2 years have been difficult. Now, I haven't spoken to her for 3 days because I...

Step-parent woes

Posted on 8/17/2022

Hi, I'm a step-dad to two girls 16 and 13. I have a daughter of my own 14. I'm having a difficult time with Perspective regarding raising teenagers as I have no clue. I like people to do...

YOUNG TEEN SEXUAL MISCONDUCT

Posted on 6/28/2022

We have a large and close-knit extended family with 27 cousins newborn to 16-years-old. A few months ago, at a family gathering there was a surprising incident of sexual misconduct involving a...

Imposing consequences v. accepting consequences.

Posted on 6/27/2022

What to do when our teenagers won't accept consequences? Our daughters ages 15 and 13 won't accept consequences. They've been gone without telling us where and then coming home after curfew. So...

13-Year-Old Doesn’t Want to Go On Family Vacation

Posted on 5/29/2022

I have a trip planned with family to Disney in a few days. My son broke his hand and now says he does not even want to go if we can’t go to the water park. The trip is a once in a lifetime...

REBELLIOUS 15 YO

Posted on 5/1/2022

Rebellious 15 year old boy. Should we seek outside help / boarding school / other options? Our 3rd child, is teaching us that our first 2 made it look easy. He is a sweet, bright child, who...

Psychology Degree?

Posted on 4/20/2022

Good grief. It’s me again. I have reached out to Mike, but this question, I would like to hear from you. One of my 15-year old daughters said she would like to pursue a degree in Psychology...

How Often to Bathe...That is the Question

Posted on 4/19/2022

My almost 14 year old daughter refuses to shower regularly. If left up to her, she would only bathe probably 2x a week. This shouldn’t even be an issue. Do we just let her deal with natural...

TEENS AND SMART DEVICES

Posted on 4/18/2022

I will be sending your books to my daughters on their wedding day. If we hadn’t raptured yet and still have enough ink supply to have your books in print. Teen proofing didn’t address...

Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SCREEN ADDICT

Posted on 4/15/2022

Our 15-year-old threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without our...

PARENT ALIENATION

Posted on 4/14/2022

What are the best ways to deal with parent alienation? To help the teenage child in the middle? Any specific podcast? Books? Any advice on this topic would be appreciated. In this situation the...

Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

It's Not About the Makeup: Time for a Garden Kick

Posted on 3/20/2022

15-year old daughter very obsessed with make-up. Used our Amazon account to buy makeup Products without our knowing till I looked up order history. Took away all her makeup products, went...

Teenager Refusing to Go to School

Posted on 2/21/2022

We have transferred our 14-year-old son from his high school of 1500 students to a charter school which has under 300 students. Now, he's refusing to go to school, and we don't know what to do....

Smartphones and "Smart-mouthed" Teen

Posted on 2/18/2022

Mr. John: We need your advice. My son just turned 15 and never had video games or a smartphone. He had a flip phone, and watches Tv on weekends. This school year we gave him a Smartphone for him...

Avoiding a checkmate requires change.

Posted on 2/16/2022

We have transferred our 14-year-old son (9th grade) from his high school of 1500 students to a charter school which has under 300 students. His grades were declining rapidly, we noticed he found...

Parent vs. Grandparent Relationships

Posted on 2/15/2022

My husband and I love the John Rosemond way of parenting. We set rules and expect our kids to follow them. When my parents come around, they completely baby them because they "feel bad" and think...

Teen leaders in the home means chaos

Posted on 2/1/2022

"My Perspective" I'm a stepfather to 2 girls ages 15 & 12. Also, I have a 13 year old daughter of my own. We have all lived together for 4 years. Before combining families I had fears of being...

Parent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child

Posted on 1/19/2022

This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...

What to Say, What to Do?

Posted on 1/4/2022

How much to say of what we know? We randomly review our 15 year old daughter's school laptop. We just did so for the first time this school year a few days ago. We found screenshots of messages...

Clarifying the Garden Kick

Posted on 12/4/2021

Does kicking out of the garden mean the child is confined to their new boring room for the duration of the time? Do you restrict them from playing outside with sibblings or friends? Can they...

Reading in the Morning or Reading in the Evening? Raising a Reader with Learning Challenges

Posted on 11/18/2021

I am homeschool my 7 year old child/grandchild. His Mother was diagnosed at age 7 with dyslexia and an auditory processing disorder by Dr Lucia Karnes which made me confident the assessment was...

Chronic quitter

Posted on 11/1/2021

My 15 year old grandson went to his first high school swim tryout. He came home from practice and told his mother (our daughter) he did not want to go back for the next three days of tryouts...

Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)

Posted on 10/26/2021

Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...

Do I Nag Him O'er and O'er? Quoth the Mother: Nevermore!!

Posted on 10/26/2021

We are having major problems getting our 15 soon to be 16 year old out of bed in the mornings for school. We have changed his bed time to an earlier time and he still will not get up. We have to...

15 year old Daughter in Fistfight

Posted on 10/8/2021

15 year old daughter in a fistfight at school. Her story changes but the gist of it is that a girl she hadn't seen in 3 years wanted to talk to her (I doubt they hadn't spoken to each other in 3...

Teen Changing Clothes After Leaving the House

Posted on 10/8/2021

15 year old daughter on video wearing short shorts at school. Our expectation has always been that pants are worn to school. She is changing clothes at school then changing back before she comes home.

Time for A Garden Kick

Posted on 8/27/2021

We have our 12 year old son's phone locked for certain reasons. If his grades slip below a B we lock it so he can only call family, if he is disrespectful or doesn't complete his chores, his...

When Your Teen Cancels God

Posted on 8/1/2021

Our 15 year old (High IQ) grandson recently informed his mother (our daughter) that he does not believe in God. This has devastated her and us.She is divorced from his father and they have 50/50...

Coping with the pain of losing a parent

Posted on 7/19/2021

My daughter recently died of brain cancer. Her husband works full time and I am with the kids (ages 8, 9, 11 and 15) most of the time. I would like to know how to help them through the grieving...

Who's in Charge?

Posted on 5/10/2021

I gave my son (15) liberty to listen to music via YouTube. He likes rap and for awhile listened to clean versions of songs. But that recently changed. He told me that the song Rap Star by Polo G...

Turn Wasting Time into Making Time

Posted on 5/6/2021

Our 14 year old son has been home schooled this year with a combination of online classes with teachers and online self paced classes. He is struggling with time management. He is behind in most...

Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

Use family meetings to address and solve problems.

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello - I need some advice for dealing with moody and temperamental behavior in my 14 year old. I've read Teen Proofing and recognize that I may be a micromanager and am trying to step back and...

Fostering responsible decision making in your teen

Posted on 12/29/2020

Dear Mr. John. My almost fourteen years old is a very musical talented boy. He can play piano and guitar by ear. However, he barely play the instruments, or practice enough to learn a complete...

Avoid Micromanaging Tweens Peer Group

Posted on 12/15/2020

What should I do if my daughters only friends are bad influences on her and not people I want her being friends with? One is a lesbian, one has anxiety issues and they both are obsessed with Tik...

Honest Conversations

Posted on 12/12/2020

My nephew has confided in my son (11yr old- cousin), that he is Bisexual. His parents have recently divorced- March will be 2 years (mother left) and my brother is a single parent of 4 children....

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