"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

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Expect her to obey

Posted 1 week ago

My two and a half year old does well with listening when I use alpha speech and she is looking at me. I usually tell her, "Look at mommy" before I tell her what to do because I have found that if...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted 1 week ago

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted 1 week ago

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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A Tale of the Terrible Twos

Posted 3 weeks ago

What is the appropriate response when a toddler misbehaves while you're in the middle of an activity you cannot just walk away from to redirect or deter them immediately? Here are a few...

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted 3 weeks ago

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

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Train Him Up

Posted 3 weeks ago

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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Just give her some time!

Posted on 10/13/2019

Hello! Our daughter (4.5 yrs) (and her younger sister) recently started going to their grandmother (1 - 2 times a week for 4 hours each). In the beginning she enjoyed going but now she tells...

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3 years old whines and cries

Posted on 10/9/2019

How do I get my newly turned 3 year old to stop whining and crying when it comes time for chores and picking up after herself?

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Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

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Church Expectations

Posted on 10/6/2019

This is a question about age-appropriate expectations in Church. We have 6 children ages 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, and 1. I have told the older kids that, unless you are a baby or a toddler - which they...

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Toddlers in "Time Out" can create More "Tired Out" Parents

Posted on 10/2/2019

For a 2 year old who is able to climb out of a playpen (and makes a game of it if the parent tries to keep them in), what else would make a suitable time-out area? We live in a rented...

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Sassy Toddler

Posted on 9/30/2019

Ever since I started implementing a 5 minute time-out for specific misbehaviors (such as throwing food or hitting his sister) after his second birthday, my 2 year old son has started showing...

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When to Intervene in School Issues

Posted on 9/24/2019

My almost 10-year-old son came home in hysterical tears yesterday. His side of the story is that at school he saw someone’s school ID on the floor, picked it up, and asked, “Whose ID is this?” and...

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Teaching Values to Kids

Posted on 9/7/2019

Hello; I have been here a lot thru the years. Still struggle with many of the problems I asked about. Mostly cuz my husband is not on the same page till he is slow going. Our newest hurdle is......

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Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted on 9/6/2019

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

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When Food Issues Become Power Struggles

Posted on 9/5/2019

I asked a question about my 8 year old sneaking sweets - we have since carried out your suggestions - but it is not working. She looks for other ways to get sweets. We allowed her to buy some cup...

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I don't want my kids to be rude!

Posted on 9/3/2019

Hi. I have 5 yo twin boys. They are not shy but when we are out and an adult asks them a question they usually do not respond. Its generally a pretty simple question like "How old are you now?" or...

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Encouraging Friendships

Posted on 8/26/2019

We have recently moved from US to Singapore for 3 years with my husband’s job. My 11 and 5 year old have made lots of friends and are settling in. My 9 year old son is happy to go to school and...

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A Lying, Stealing Moment

Posted on 8/26/2019

Last night my 7-year-old confessed that she had opened a package and eaten some candy with her 11-year-old sibling that morning at the store. I had no idea this happened. I briefly discussed that...

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Instilling Your Values

Posted on 8/20/2019

I'm looking for some guidance on how to talk to my young children about gay marriage. My kids are 9 and 6 years old. They just informed me that their art teacher is a girl who just married a girl....

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Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Posted on 8/7/2019

How do you know when it's the right time to talk to your child about sex? We want to be ahead of the game and make sure he hears it from us, but don't want to do it too soon.

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The S Word

Posted on 7/29/2019

My 28 month old is having an issue with calling me "stupid." When we are at home I put him in time out for 5 minutes and tell him “no calling mommy names.” What do I do when we are out in public...

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A Strong Marriage is Your First Priority

Posted on 7/24/2019

This is the scinerao...we are sitting at the dinner table. My husband is reading "whatever the latest news is" on his phone. When our 6 yr. talks back to me or does not do what I have asked of...

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Slaying the Whiny Monster

Posted on 7/16/2019

We have 4 children: a 9 year old boy, twin boys who are 6, and a 3 year old girl. This question is about one of the 6 year old twins. He whines, complains constantly, and falls...

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A Morning Dawdler

Posted on 7/16/2019

Hi there, How do I get my 5 year old to do his morning routine - is get dressed, make bed and brush teeth without being told? We have put up pictures of what needs to be done but he plays...

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10-Year-Old Lying - One More Thing

Posted on 7/16/2019

My 10-year-old son has a problem with lying. We have not figured out a solution that completely eradicates this problem, yet. Most recently, we left him at home while we went grocery shopping...

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God's Anointing was an Annoyed Teen

Posted on 7/14/2019

16 year old does not want to attend church. Should we expect her go most of the time? We've told her she can take breaks because we understand our small church does not have teens her age, other...

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The truth is not out there!

Posted on 7/10/2019

My hubby and I are considering bringing our almost 3 y/o to a certified play therapist in hopes that we can figure out the cause and how to best help him with his extreme tantrums at home, but...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Parents Concerned about Sexually Active 16-Year-Old

Posted on 6/25/2019

Our 16 year old daughter has lost her virginity. I am concerned that she is continuing to be sexually active. I don’t know when she would have the opportunity but I’m Not naive to the possibility...

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Beating the Bullies

Posted on 6/20/2019

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

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Ending the Blame Game

Posted on 6/17/2019

My 5 year old son regularly blames others for his own mistakes, and for anything that he doesn't want to do. For example, this morning when I told him to help me with the dishes he pitched a...

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Love One Another

Posted on 6/6/2019

My son who is 5, loves to play with a certain 9-year old at the park. The kid's mother sits in her car the entire time while her son will sometimes curse at and scare other kids. My son doesn't...

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Dealing with One-Year-Old's Challenging Behavior

Posted on 6/6/2019

Hi I have a 12 month old, and have recently finished Making the Terrible two's terrific. He seems to be staring tantrums when he has items taken from him, eg the car keys because I have to use...

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I'm Not Your Friend

Posted on 6/3/2019

My four year old has been telling her younger sister who is three that she will not play with her, be her best friend, etc. if she doesn’t play the way she wants or gives her the toy she is...

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Time to Terminate Toddler TV Viewing

Posted on 5/23/2019

I've had a difficult time weaning my toddlers (twins, 20 months old) off the TV. Part of this has to do with the lifestyle of my husband and I: video games are my husband's main hobby. When...

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Word of the Moment

Posted on 5/21/2019

My 4 year old child has learned the word “kill”. He tells me he is going to kill me and his one year old sister. I don’t think he knows what he’s saying. I tried to explain it but he won’t stop. I...

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Attention seeking or not?

Posted on 5/12/2019

How do you suggest handling this scenario. Your child (4) says something “not nice” directly in regards to you... I typically feel like it’s attention seeking but that’s just a guess. Do you...

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Hop off the Argument Merry Go Round

Posted on 5/5/2019

Hi there, My almost 5-year-old has come a long way from his 3-year-old self. I suppose maturity helps. He's no longer throwing tantrums (a.k.a crying loudly) or hitting when he doesn't get his...

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Nothing major.

Posted on 5/4/2019

My son is in 7th grade. He is at a new school. He has gotten into a little trouble here and there. Talking in class, nothing major. He recently said a boy in PE hit him with a ball and he hit him...

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Morning Grumpies

Posted on 5/4/2019

Our son is just shy of turning 5 and attends a full day preschool. He is not always in the best of moods in the morning when I (mom) drop him off and is sometimes clingy. He receives good...

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Jesus Loves the Little Children Through Grandparents

Posted on 4/14/2019

I am a step grandparent. We have a three year old grandson who is being raised in a progressive, liberal, agnostic environment. The household is run by the toddler and to say it is matriarch ruled...

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Growing as a Goalie and Growing in Life

Posted on 4/8/2019

My 11 year old son has been playing soccer for 7 years. He has had great success in his position and is well liked by his coaches & teammates. Recently he’s been told he will likely be moved up...

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Teaching Values to Teenagers

Posted on 3/18/2019

Good morning, How do I address a difference in values with my 18 year old son? He will graduate in 2 months so still lives at home. He is materialistic and very focused on brands and "image". He...

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Life After College is Too Comfortable- Time to Adult

Posted on 3/11/2019

Hello, My stepson in 23 and a recent college graduate with a communication degree. His father and I have been married 2 years ago. His parents are concerned about his seemingly lack of...

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How much is enough?

Posted on 3/8/2019

I am wondering what you would say would normally expect to be included for a schedule for a 3 year old staying at home. I have my older 2 in school for parts of the day, and I have my younger...

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Preschooler learning to be a real friend

Posted on 3/5/2019

My 4 year old son is in a 3 day a week preschool. He is in the same class with a girl that he has been friends with since he was born. Apparently he has become very possessive over her during free...

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Ask them no questions, and they will tell you no lies!

Posted on 3/2/2019

Dear John and team, almost 2 years ago I posted a question about my daughter lying about this and that and just generally not wanting to give a straight answer. We were advised to "ask no...

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Higher Level Thinking Skills

Posted on 3/1/2019

My 7 year old son has a problem solving problem. Any task he performs can make him melt down. I am sure that when he was younger I would jump in and solve his problem, but I have been very...

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