"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

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Slaying the Whiny Monster

Posted 3 days ago

We have 4 children: a 9 year old boy, twin boys who are 6, and a 3 year old girl. This question is about one of the 6 year old twins. He whines, complains constantly, and falls...

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A Morning Dawdler

Posted 3 days ago

Hi there, How do I get my 5 year old to do his morning routine - is get dressed, make bed and brush teeth without being told? We have put up pictures of what needs to be done but he plays...

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God's Anointing was an Annoyed Teen

Posted 5 days ago

16 year old does not want to attend church. Should we expect her go most of the time? We've told her she can take breaks because we understand our small church does not have teens her age, other...

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The truth is not out there!

Posted 1 week ago

My hubby and I are considering bringing our almost 3 y/o to a certified play therapist in hopes that we can figure out the cause and how to best help him with his extreme tantrums at home, but...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted 1 week ago

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Parents Concerned about Sexually Active 16-Year-Old

Posted 3 weeks ago

Our 16 year old daughter has lost her virginity. I am concerned that she is continuing to be sexually active. I don’t know when she would have the opportunity but I’m Not naive to the possibility...

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Beating the Bullies

Posted 4 weeks ago

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

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Ending the Blame Game

Posted on 6/17/2019

My 5 year old son regularly blames others for his own mistakes, and for anything that he doesn't want to do. For example, this morning when I told him to help me with the dishes he pitched a...

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Love One Another

Posted on 6/6/2019

My son who is 5, loves to play with a certain 9-year old at the park. The kid's mother sits in her car the entire time while her son will sometimes curse at and scare other kids. My son doesn't...

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Dealing with One-Year-Old's Challenging Behavior

Posted on 6/6/2019

Hi I have a 12 month old, and have recently finished Making the Terrible two's terrific. He seems to be staring tantrums when he has items taken from him, eg the car keys because I have to use...

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I'm Not Your Friend

Posted on 6/3/2019

My four year old has been telling her younger sister who is three that she will not play with her, be her best friend, etc. if she doesn’t play the way she wants or gives her the toy she is...

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Time to Terminate Toddler TV Viewing

Posted on 5/23/2019

I've had a difficult time weaning my toddlers (twins, 20 months old) off the TV. Part of this has to do with the lifestyle of my husband and I: video games are my husband's main hobby. When...

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Word of the Moment

Posted on 5/21/2019

My 4 year old child has learned the word “kill”. He tells me he is going to kill me and his one year old sister. I don’t think he knows what he’s saying. I tried to explain it but he won’t stop. I...

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Attention seeking or not?

Posted on 5/12/2019

How do you suggest handling this scenario. Your child (4) says something “not nice” directly in regards to you... I typically feel like it’s attention seeking but that’s just a guess. Do you...

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Hop off the Argument Merry Go Round

Posted on 5/5/2019

Hi there, My almost 5-year-old has come a long way from his 3-year-old self. I suppose maturity helps. He's no longer throwing tantrums (a.k.a crying loudly) or hitting when he doesn't get his...

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Nothing major.

Posted on 5/4/2019

My son is in 7th grade. He is at a new school. He has gotten into a little trouble here and there. Talking in class, nothing major. He recently said a boy in PE hit him with a ball and he hit him...

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Morning Grumpies

Posted on 5/4/2019

Our son is just shy of turning 5 and attends a full day preschool. He is not always in the best of moods in the morning when I (mom) drop him off and is sometimes clingy. He receives good...

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Jesus Loves the Little Children Through Grandparents

Posted on 4/14/2019

I am a step grandparent. We have a three year old grandson who is being raised in a progressive, liberal, agnostic environment. The household is run by the toddler and to say it is matriarch ruled...

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Growing as a Goalie and Growing in Life

Posted on 4/8/2019

My 11 year old son has been playing soccer for 7 years. He has had great success in his position and is well liked by his coaches & teammates. Recently he’s been told he will likely be moved up...

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Teaching Values to Teenagers

Posted on 3/18/2019

Good morning, How do I address a difference in values with my 18 year old son? He will graduate in 2 months so still lives at home. He is materialistic and very focused on brands and "image". He...

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Life After College is Too Comfortable- Time to Adult

Posted on 3/11/2019

Hello, My stepson in 23 and a recent college graduate with a communication degree. His father and I have been married 2 years ago. His parents are concerned about his seemingly lack of...

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How much is enough?

Posted on 3/8/2019

I am wondering what you would say would normally expect to be included for a schedule for a 3 year old staying at home. I have my older 2 in school for parts of the day, and I have my younger...

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Preschooler learning to be a real friend

Posted on 3/5/2019

My 4 year old son is in a 3 day a week preschool. He is in the same class with a girl that he has been friends with since he was born. Apparently he has become very possessive over her during free...

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Ask them no questions, and they will tell you no lies!

Posted on 3/2/2019

Dear John and team, almost 2 years ago I posted a question about my daughter lying about this and that and just generally not wanting to give a straight answer. We were advised to "ask no...

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Higher Level Thinking Skills

Posted on 3/1/2019

My 7 year old son has a problem solving problem. Any task he performs can make him melt down. I am sure that when he was younger I would jump in and solve his problem, but I have been very...

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Separate but Equal

Posted on 2/10/2019

I have an introverted, sensitive (gentle and kind) four-year-old son and an extroverted, physically rambunctious two-year-old son. The two year old is physically aggressive (biting and hitting)...

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Posted on 2/7/2019

Would you advise telling your son that God didn’t create him as gay? I told him this initially, but I don’t want to make all of our conversations revolve around this. We told him he cannot date...

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She be Bossy says her Posse

Posted on 2/4/2019

Good Morning, My daughter, Anne is turning 4. She is very sweet and somewhat of a typical “first child” if you will. She also has a lot if personality. She has recently been telling me that her...

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Adult Daughter Troubles

Posted on 2/3/2019

Hi John, Thank you for your many books and tapes. I've listened to and read almost all of them. My daughter is adopted from Ukraine. We brought her home 2 days before her first birthday. ...

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Flowers for V-D for wife and daughter?

Posted on 1/31/2019

I buy my wife flowers for Valentine's Day and I'd like to buy some for my daughter as well, as an annual tradition. Are there any concerns with that, such as putting her on the same level as my...

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Avoid Making Mountains out of Molehills

Posted on 1/18/2019

Our 12-year-old daughter is raising concerns (both ours and at least one of her teachers') with violence in her writing. Last fall she asked me to read over a fictional short story she had written...

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Outside Influences

Posted on 1/1/2019

I have 5 kids ranging from 3mo to 7 years old. Both sets of grandparents live local and are involved. One set is often I overreaching. They hold some Christian beliefs. They recently told our...

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Now what?

Posted on 12/13/2018

Hey thank you for the answer I needed..I have taken her phone permanently only reason she had a phone is because her dad lives out of town and I work far from where I’m at and he bought her a...

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Caution: Child in Charge

Posted on 12/6/2018

Our recently-turned 11-year-old boy is really hating school this year. He seems to think he knows what he needs to learn for his future and the rest is a waste of his time. He is a very bright...

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Fitting In

Posted on 12/5/2018

Hi have a soon to be 13 year old. He is in a new school, his old school was a Christian school. It has been somewhat of a struggle in middle school. From being the new student and being exposed to...

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Have You Hugged Someone Today?

Posted on 11/8/2018

my dad sometimes continually suggests that my 2.5 year old son should come and give him a hug or come sit in his lap when we are at their house visiting. They live maybe a mile away, so we see...

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To Curfew or Not To Curfew

Posted on 11/7/2018

My 18 yr old daughter attends college but lives at home. She makes stellar grades and is attending on a merit scholarship. She does chores around the house. She is a responsible person. My...

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Where Lego Ends, Tickets Begin

Posted on 10/28/2018

We just started using the ticket system on our 6 year old son yesterday. Following is an example of this morning, which we're not quite sure how to handle. Our son is busy playing with his Lego...

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The Pestering Teen...

Posted on 10/22/2018

We are struggling with my 14 year old son. He constantly pesters sister dad and myself. We take away all electronic devices and that does not solve the problem. He is getting more stubborn every...

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Taming the Class Clown

Posted on 10/15/2018

My son is 8 years old and I'm trying the "out of the garden" to correct some behaviors. He's already corrected two of them but having trouble with his 3rd misbehavior which is having a good day at...

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Is Mom Micro-managing?

Posted on 10/15/2018

I just found my 14 y/o daughter has been hiding an electronic tablet in her room. She uses it "for homework and to talk to friends via instagram". She brought it from her dads house. She says I...

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Growing an Independent Three Year Old

Posted on 10/6/2018

Hello! Our daughter is three and a half years old, and we have noticed that she plays very little independently. When I start cooking, she wants to sit on the counter and help; when I do...

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5 year old boy behaves better at school than at home

Posted on 10/4/2018

My 5 year old son is in preschool, and we are working very hard on his behavior and manners. He still has tantrums which I am working hard to end. Lately, when he has a tantrum or is disrespectful...

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Exposure to Exposure

Posted on 9/26/2018

Hello. I read so many articles about what to do after a child or teen has been exposed and then becomes addicted to pornography. What are some steps to protect my child from interacting with...

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Empathy, an important skill to be practiced

Posted on 9/23/2018

How can I assist my child in developing empathy?

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Following Rules

Posted on 9/19/2018

My 5 year old just started kindergarten and she has made a few friends - one that she just adores. This morning when I dropped her off for school she couldn't find her best friend and she was...

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11 m, 3.5 and 7yrs Road-trip Remedies

Posted on 9/3/2018

Hello! We have three usually well behaved children who were all raised on the Parenting By the Book philosophy. They sleep in their own beds, do normal age appropriate chores, have normal sibling...

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Bored kindergartener?

Posted on 8/22/2018

Hi- I have a “just turned” 5yo that has just started kindergarten about 1 month ago. He mostly comes home on “green” but he has had 5 days below green over the last month. The teacher emailed...

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working parents with a 3 yro

Posted on 8/14/2018

Our girl will be 3 beginning of November. She is going to Montessori School 5 days a week from 9am till 5:30pm. We are dance teachers, we teach adults at our own Argentine Tango Studio, so most...

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Unmotivated Teenage Boy

Posted on 8/12/2018

My teenage son is not interested in engaging in anything that requires effort. He gives up on everything he tries after just one attempt and after much coaxing and prodding, refuses to try again....

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