"Parents who always go out of their way for their children eventually lose their way. "

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Potty Bell

Posted 2 weeks ago

We’ve implemented potty bell. Sometimes she sits for 3 seconds then pops up and goes somewhere else, and other times she doesn’t want to sit at all. We’ve had zero success on the toilet. We are...

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Self-Destructing Son

Posted 2 weeks ago

I am so thankful for this site and your support. I feel empowered and encouraged. It seems very recently that whenever my son is asked to do a chore, he injures himself. These are simple age...

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Talking to Kids About Dyslexia

Posted on 6/11/2020

My son has a moderate case of dyslexia, and he is 10. Our daughter, who is 7, has a mild case of dyslexia. Our son, of course, knows he is dyslexic, however, we have not told our daughter she is...

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Tips for Purging Toys

Posted on 6/11/2020

My kids have too many toys, dolls and stuffed animals. They are ages 10, 7, 4, and 1. For the older three kids can I just get rid of things without their knowing, or do I need to talk to them...

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6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

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Disrespectful Tween

Posted on 5/22/2020

My 11 year old daughter gets upset when I correct her and calls me names in her heart not aloud; but she later tells me those rude things and apologises. (The most recent name she called me...

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Curbing Unhealthy Snack Attacks

Posted on 5/18/2020

My son is an 8 years old only child. He wasn't a chubby baby, but he's becoming a chubby boy. He's getting a belly and love handles. He is 4'7" and weighs in at 95lbs. His food choices are high...

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Do not let it grow bigger.

Posted on 5/12/2020

Our just turned 8 yr old son is suddenly fixated on bad thoughts that he’s having. He was unable to move on from them without telling us, but it’s happening frequently now and we’re going back...

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Playing with Toy Guns- Keep It Simple

Posted on 5/2/2020

My son has taken an interest in gun play. He likes making guns with blocks of lego and sticks and playing with his nerf gun. I want him to enjoy this play but in a way that is fun and healthy,...

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Establishing boundaries with 15 yo about boyfriend

Posted on 4/16/2020

I want to know how to establish boundaries with my 15 year old female teenager about the boyfriend. What resources do you recommend I read?

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Potty Trainning day 6

Posted on 4/16/2020

We are toilet training my 28 month old daughter. She consistently knows *when* she needs to potty, but when she sits down, nothing happens. She eventually always gets off and then has an...

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Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

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Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

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7 year old craving constant attention

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old struggles to play by himself. He wants me to play with him all the time. For example he is always complaining he cannot find a Lego piece before he has actually looked, he needs help...

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5 Y/O Does Not Fully Comply With Consequence

Posted on 4/3/2020

My younger boy, age 5 is on the ticket system. When he loses his tickets he go upstairs to his room for the rest of the day except meals. Problem is he doesn't stay in his room. He sits at the top...

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Disrespectful 15 YO Daughter

Posted on 4/3/2020

My 15yr old daughter always stomps her foot when someone in her family cough or burp. It has become worse where if I make a tiny sound clearing my throat she bangs or hits whatever she is doing. ...

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6 Strikes in 1 At-bat

Posted on 3/15/2020

Hi John, my 9yr old daughter has taken to raising her voice, screaming, arguing, sarcasm and just downright disrespect when things aren't going her way. We have a target misbehavior chart and she...

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Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted on 3/2/2020

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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Siblings Must Work It Out!

Posted on 2/25/2020

I’ve got two kids, an almost 8 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever she doesn’t have school, we have the most conflict. He loves...

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Pre- teen sent to principal's office

Posted on 2/19/2020

My 11 y/o daughter was just sent to the principal's office for carving a middle finger out of an eraser and saying that it represented her teacher. Princial said that she and other kids are...

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3 years old doesn't pay attetion to stories.

Posted on 2/18/2020

My 3 year old has always had difficulty listening to stories. I know how terribly important it is to read to children daily so I keep reading, but he’s not paying attention. Is he still getting...

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Teaching 3 year old to listen the first time.

Posted on 2/9/2020

Is the targeted behavior (for the ticket system) “Refusing to do what we tell you to do” too general for 3.25 year old twins? We want to stomp out their habit of giving us push back/delaying/...

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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Toddler hits mommy

Posted on 1/23/2020

Hi. My 27 month old toddler recently started hitting me when I say no to her, sometimes my husband as well, but it is most often directed at me (her mother) in moments of frustration. How should I...

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Toddler ignores grandma.

Posted on 1/14/2020

Lately my 2 year old has moments where he is very rude to my mom (his grandma) who helps with childcare. He blatantly ignores her or tells her no or that he doesn't want to do x, y or z. My...

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Stay the Course.

Posted on 1/14/2020

I used N75 with my first child and it was a snap. At 22 months she was without accidents within a few days. My second child was 22 months before the holidays. With traveling etc. etc. we...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Is Child's Threat of Suicide a Cry for Help or for Attention?

Posted on 1/9/2020

My oldest is eleven and started middle school this year. Overall it has been a smooth transition. She has a great group of friends and likes school. She does not have a phone and has very limited...

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Your Place, Your Rules.

Posted on 12/28/2019

What should parents do about young adults away at college who come back on breaks and are disrespectful, entitled, rude? Even going so far as to (after they say things that are out of line...

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Potty Setback

Posted on 12/26/2019

My son, who is two and a half and well potty trained, has recently taken to pooping in his pants and/or on the floor. Timeouts do not seem to be effective. I tell him that "only babies poop in...

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Teenage Scrooges

Posted on 12/20/2019

I have three teenagers. For my older two - the 17 and 16-yr old - thinking of their family members on special occasions like birthdays or Christmas is clearly not a priority for them. All...

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Argumentative two and a half year old

Posted on 12/14/2019

Our two and a half year old daughter is argumentative. There will be times when we’ve told her to do something in a clear manner and she will outright say “No, I will not do...” (fill in the...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Expat needs help choosing school

Posted on 12/2/2019

My wife and I are expats living abroad and we are starting on the journey of selecting a school for our eldest (5yr old daughter). Being abroad seems to limit the opportunities available for...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Forming a United Parenting Front

Posted on 12/1/2019

Hello...fully realizing Mr Rosemond is NOT a marriage counselor I do have a question. I am 70 years old and my spouse is 49. We have a daughter, 10 years old, that is very bright (public school...

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It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

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Quiet time--the gift from heaven

Posted on 11/26/2019

Could you give me some guidelines for how to teach my daughter to do quiet time? She’s two and a half so I realize her attention span isn’t very long and she still does take naps. I want to at...

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Ignoring Bad Habits

Posted on 11/25/2019

My 9-year-old daughter still puts things in her mouth and chews on them like a toddler: Lego pieces, wrappers, etc. It seems like she has an oral fixation and always needs to be chewing or sucking...

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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Expect her to obey

Posted on 11/8/2019

My two and a half year old does well with listening when I use alpha speech and she is looking at me. I usually tell her, "Look at mommy" before I tell her what to do because I have found that if...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted on 11/6/2019

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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A Tale of the Terrible Twos

Posted on 10/27/2019

What is the appropriate response when a toddler misbehaves while you're in the middle of an activity you cannot just walk away from to redirect or deter them immediately? Here are a few...

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