Questions

Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

Progress isn't Linear

Posted on 2/16/2023

After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...

Silly in school and aggressive at home

Posted on 2/16/2023

Hello- my son is six years old and in the first grade. With his birthday he’s a little younger for the grade but seems very immature. He makes weird noises in class and tries to be silly when most...

3 YEAR OLD BITING, REDUX

Posted on 2/10/2023

My 3 year old son has many of the misbehaviors possible for his age. Before I found your books I assumed he would "grow out of them" and now I laugh at my past self for thinking that. Hitting...

3 YO BITING

Posted on 2/9/2023

My son will be 3 in 10 days. Hitting and biting has become a large problem since my second son was born 5 months ago. It seems he hits the baby when the baby to get attention. He also hits and...

3 YO BITING REDUX

Posted on 2/9/2023

I put my just about 3 year old in his room for the first time today for hitting his 5 month old brother. He keeps opening the door and/or coming out of the room. Each time he does, I bring him...

10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Aggressive 4-Year-Old Boy

Posted on 9/19/2022

My 4 yr old is aggressive, the gentle parenting we have been sold isn't working for this. I have just read your work and as of yestersday have been confining my son to his room if he hits/is...

3 Year Old boy Testing the Limits

Posted on 6/20/2022

My 3.5 year old boy has responded very well to the card system! 3 cards lost and spend the rest of the day in your room. He also knows that hitting/kicking a person /the wall would be game over...

FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SCREEN ADDICT

Posted on 4/15/2022

Our 15-year-old threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without our...

8-Year-Old Needs the Ticket to Self Control

Posted on 4/4/2022

My 8-year-old has a severe temper. He is the third out of six children, and we are homeschooling the other five. He will spend a week at my mother's house and is calm there, but when he gets back...

How to Stop Toddler From Hitting Younger Sibling

Posted on 3/11/2022

Hi. Our oldest daughter is 3yrs 2mo old. Our youngest daughter is 11mo. Within the past month or so, our oldest daughter has started hitting and pushing our youngest daughter. Oftentimes this...

How To Keep Your Child in His/Her Room

Posted on 2/1/2022

We are trying the ticket system with our 3 yr old son. Tonight, he went to bed early after throwing something at me (a major offense). At first we left his bedroom door open but he kept coming out...

10-Year-Old's Hitting Needs to Hit the Road for Good

Posted on 1/28/2022

We are currently using the ticket system to deal with two target behaviors. Hitting is not one of them. My 10-year-old daughter hit her four-year-old sister. This behavior does not happen very...

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Posted on 12/30/2021

We have an 8-year-old son who throws violent tantrums. He has always been “a handful” so these fits aren’t anything new, they’re less frequent but much more destructive. In the past, we had a...

Put the Brakes on 2.5-Year-Old Thrower

Posted on 12/27/2021

My non verbal 2.5 year old is a thrower. Especially at the face. She will throw toys in my face. She will throw her food and cutlery at my 8 year old son in the face. I don’t know what to do,...

8-Year-Old Ruling the Roost (Follow-up)

Posted on 11/24/2021

Okay in regards to my prior question. I purchased the book. Thank you. Can you please tell me some examples of what you mean right now so I can start turning the tables ASAP! Instead of...

A Sock in the Crotch: Focus on the Sock, not the Crotch

Posted on 11/12/2021

I did not find this on the very long list of topics so here goes: got a call from the teacher of my 6-year old grandson who said he is super bright- math and reading ( not sure if this is relevant...

Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)

Posted on 10/26/2021

Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...

15 year old Daughter in Fistfight

Posted on 10/8/2021

15 year old daughter in a fistfight at school. Her story changes but the gist of it is that a girl she hadn't seen in 3 years wanted to talk to her (I doubt they hadn't spoken to each other in 3...

19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

4 year old terrorist wearing out her family

Posted on 9/23/2021

Our 4 year old daughter has become a complete terrorist. She has always been difficult and challenging but it’s only getting worse by the day. We have always been strict parents and have...

Granny is Tired of 7 Year Olds Nightly Walks

Posted on 8/21/2021

My granddaughter lives with me, along with her two children The 7 year old boy is a tough case. His mother and I do NOT parent anything alike. This boy gets up almost every night and roams the...

Consistency is the key to success

Posted on 8/10/2021

I have a 6 yo daughter and 3 yo son. Daughter is often "mean" to son verbally. His 3 yr old talkativeness bothers her, and she frequently shouts at him ("be quiet!" etc.) My and wife's approach...

Do What You Can Do

Posted on 7/30/2021

My stepsons are 12 and 14. We also have a 4 and 2 year old. Their mother has been generally uncooperative and at times hostile to us, and treats the boys very differently. She doesn’t seem to like...

Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Toddler's Hitting Problem

Posted on 7/13/2021

My 2 almost 3 year old daughter has a problem with hitting how can I help her ?

Aggression Toward Family Pet Is Unacceptable

Posted on 6/15/2021

Help…my 5 year old kicked our 6 month old puppy so hard I think his leg may be broken. I am disturbed beyond words. Heartbroken and feel like I’m a horrible parent. She first lied and said he...

The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory--Part 2

Posted on 5/19/2021

Hi, I am submitting a follow-up response in regard to my question from 5/6/21 entitled "The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory". This was answered by Mike Smart. Thank you for your...

The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory

Posted on 5/6/2021

My 3.5 year old daughter is having issues at Preschool and nothing we do seems to help. She will have days where her behavior is good and then other days she gets in trouble (throwing things,...

She's Got an Arm!

Posted on 4/13/2021

My 2 year old daughter is throwing anything and everything she can find when she feels upset or does not get her way ... any advice? We have tried ignoring it but she just grabs more things to...

2-Year-Old's Aggressive Behavior Is Unacceptable

Posted on 2/15/2021

Hello! I have two kids. Boy: Almost 3 (in May) Girl: 1 and 2 months old Boy is hitting girl, knocks her over and laughs when he does it. How can I approach this adequately?

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Two Year Old is a Whole Different Animal!

Posted on 12/11/2020

Good morning. My husband and I have six children, ranging 3 months to 9 years. Our first son Ryan Samuel is 2 years old as of October 4. He is a whole different animal compared to the girls. We...

Loss of Grandfather Angers 13 year old Granddaughter

Posted on 12/5/2020

My 13 year old grandchild has been mad about everything since her grandfather died last year. Her grades are suffering and she has no interest in anything except playing on her phone. She has...

Two-Year-Old Shows His Ugly Side

Posted on 11/20/2020

My 24 month old is usually pretty good. I previously used time outs to train him out of hitting and food throwing. However, he will get into this “drunk” state, where he is simultaneously...

Taming Hitting Between Younger Siblings

Posted on 11/4/2020

My two year old and my 4 year old are constantly hitting each other what should I do ?

How To Apply Discipline Techniques While Not at Home

Posted on 10/19/2020

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the "three strikes" method with...

Sibling Warfare

Posted on 10/2/2020

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

TIme to work with a coach.

Posted on 8/18/2020

Hi there. My husband and I have twin boys who will turn five years old at the end of October. Over the past few weeks, the competition between the two of them has really increased. I know that...

Nipping the Kicking During Diaper Change

Posted on 8/4/2020

Recently my 20 month old grandson has begin kicking and generally screaming whenever his clothes/diapers are changed. He basically objects to the entire process. His kicks get hard and violent....

Toddler Tests the Car Seat Limits

Posted on 6/13/2020

My 18 month old always gets a short time out when he hits or throws food. Consequently, he almost never hits or throws food any more. However, since we have been going out more, he is now testing...

"Battle of the Wills" with 2 Year Old is Frustrating

Posted on 5/21/2020

How should we handle a 23 months old that has been hitting us or attempting to hit, for a few months now, when angry or not permitted to do what she wants? Such as not being diaper changed or not...

Conquering a Three-Year Old Quarantine Quagmire

Posted on 5/5/2020

my son is 3 yr and 3 month old,he was very careful and neat. recently he started to get very aggressive especially during the quarantine in the house. He has been staying home for a month now. He...

Hitting Needs to Stop for 3 Year Old

Posted on 4/19/2020

Lately my just turned 3 year old hits a lot, but he does it playfully and often even says it, "I'm going to hit you." I am not sure how to get him to stop. We have been firm in telling him he...

Hands Off!

Posted on 3/29/2020

My 7 year is always making stupid annoying loud noises and shouting and he keeps doing this in his 8 month old sisters face. He also constantly grabs her hands and smothers her. They seem to get...

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