"A child who has learned to pay attention to parents will go to school prepared to pay attention to teachers. "

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Daily Report

Posted 1 week ago

Our 9 year old son has been doing a daily report with his teacher for most of the school year. Last week my husband and I went on a week trip and the kids stayed at our home with their...

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8 Year Old Disruptive in Time Out

Posted 1 week ago

We have nearly 8-year-old boy/girl twins, a 3-year-old daughter, and a new baby girl due any day now. We started daily charts with our twins recently and are having some big struggles with our...

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The Homework Conundrum

Posted 2 weeks ago

I am completely on board with John's homework recommendations, but I have some struggles that have only intensified since Kindergarten. In my opinion, teachers are consistently asking the kids to...

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Create Daily Reports with Meaningful Consequences

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 10-year-old son, who is in fifth grade, is having some trouble at school. At this parent-teacher conference, his teacher expressed he is too talkative, rushing his work, and has poor...

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Potty Time is No Party

Posted 2 weeks ago

HI there - I have another question about my 6 year old - she has been allowed to develop some sloppy hygeine habits. Perhaps this is my fault for not supervising properly. Following on from not...

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Sugar Junkie needs Intervention

Posted 3 weeks ago

My husband and I believe our daughter is addicted to sugar. We do keep limited amounts of cookies and chocolate in our house, and generally eat some dark chocolate after dinner. But, our daughter...

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9 yo and 7 yo Sibling Conflict

Posted 3 weeks ago

I have 3 kids. Twins, girl & boy - 9 and youngest girl is 7. They enjoy each others company, playing together well. But they get into conflict pretty much daily over small issues. My twins often...

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Overwhelmed Mom

Posted 3 weeks ago

Hi, I am a homeschooling mother of three girls ages 9, 7 and 3. I frequently feel so exhausted around my kids. I KNOW there is a better way, and I keep trying to get there... but I never quite...

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Stay the Course with 9 yo's School Issues

Posted 4 weeks ago

We are concerned about our 9 year old son (3rd grade), who is having problems doing work, staying on task (wonders around the room bothering classmates) and blurting out answers for the other kids...

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6 yr old girl needs to do better on chores

Posted on 10/20/2017

My 6 year old has school all day from 8:30-3:00pm, homework, piano practices and chores. She complains the most about her chores (she tidies up her room, unpacks and washes her lunch boxes) after...

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More two home problems

Posted on 10/19/2017

I have 8 & 10 year old stepsons and a 3 month old. When the baby was first born, the kids stayed with their mother for about a month before slowly resuming split custody. Before they returned to...

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3 year old boy should keep his lovie

Posted on 10/15/2017

I have read "The Well Behaved Child" and I have been implementing the ticket system for three days with my three year old son. Today he lost all of his tickets after a complete melt-down at...

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Ten Year Old With Anxiety

Posted on 10/12/2017

Hello! My daughter is 10 years old. She has quite a bit of anxiety (inherited I believe). Recently, she has been confronted with the task of working on a project with another, very difficult...

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Bedtime Horseplay

Posted on 10/4/2017

I have twin 9 year olds and a 6 year old girl that share a bed room. A few years ago when the 6 year old had her own room she pretty much went to bed as told with the exception of getting up a few...

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Follow-Up to Fighting Siblings

Posted on 10/2/2017

Thank you for your response to my first question. I have a follow up question, just to make sure we are striking a healthy balance of discipline. I'm pretty sure I have read 2 or 3 variations of...

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11 yr old lost all her blocks on chart!!!

Posted on 10/1/2017

My wife and I have an 11 year old and 9 year old daughter. We kicked our 9 year old out of the garden several weeks ago for school and home behavior issues. Our 11 year was put on weekly charts...

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6-Block Chart Program

Posted on 9/29/2017

My son is 9 1/2. Over the last few months we have implemented the daily 6 block chart program after reading The Well Behaved Child in response to the defiance and attitude we had been seeing...

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Regaining Authority

Posted on 9/28/2017

We moved back home while my husband is deployed and now I am having isses with my 7yo daughter. This is not the first time he's had to leave but when he does I feel like I am not taken seriously....

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First Time Offender

Posted on 9/28/2017

Received a call from my 5th graders school today he and another boy were making and folded paper craft (ninja star) at lunch. My son turned it into an inappropriate conversation about a private...

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10 yo and 8 yo Sibling Conflict

Posted on 9/23/2017

We have two boys (10 and 8). Our older son is generally passive and doesn't start problems, and the younger one is constantly doing whatever he can to annoy and cause problems, and it usually ends...

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Breaking a Bed Time Habit

Posted on 9/21/2017

Hi, my 9yr son will not sleep alone. I let him sleep with us but now I don't know how to break the habit. During day he is very independent, strong willed kid but at night he cries and throws a...

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When a Sibling Interferes With a Consequence

Posted on 9/21/2017

Our 6 year old son threw a huge tantrum after school in front of a lot of people, thus enforcing a consequence of all his toys being taken away as well as early bedtime. Our dilemma in following...

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6 year old boy with an attitude

Posted on 9/20/2017

We are having a hard time with our almost 6 year old son. This summer we started him on tickets for whining and not listening. Quickly the focus became on not listening only. It worked for a while...

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Calm Down Please!

Posted on 9/12/2017

My daughter is now 8 1/2 - through the years I have written to you about her personality - last year she was diagnosed with Dyslexia - which has explained where the low self esteem has come from....

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Enough Talk?

Posted on 9/6/2017

Hello and Thank You for your help and guidance. We last asked a question in April. Here we are in September, back again and most appreciative. Our 7 year old was exposed to pornographic video on...

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What to Do About Screaming?

Posted on 9/4/2017

I have a 7 year old daughter who goes from 0-10 and screams loudly over tiny little things, and everyone rushes to her rescue (except us) when something happens. For instance, if she stubs her...

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Same problem, same directive.

Posted on 9/2/2017

How do I get my 6yo boy to stop the constant whining/crying when he doesn't get his way, gets frustrated, and fighting with his 2 sisters. Help.... It's driving me nuts!!

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Daily Report Cards Help School Behaviors

Posted on 9/1/2017

I have a 7 year old who has been having problems at school and just recently we received a form from school saying that the school is requesting for social worker intervention, that is "the next...

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Off to a rocky start at Kindergarten!

Posted on 9/1/2017

For the 3rd time in 8 days my 5 year old has come home from Kindergarten with a bad report from the teacher. She's at a Catholic school, which we are very happy with, but she just can't seem to...

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Pay Your Way

Posted on 8/28/2017

Hello, I've been asking questions for a few years now about my daughter. I've read John's book "The Well Behaved Child." My question regarding my now 7 year old daughter is this: How do I...

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No More Lies

Posted on 8/28/2017

Hello Again, While I appreciate the quick reply to my last question, it didn't address the primary question in the post. The issue wasn't eating in the cafeteria. That was a result of the...

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Stop Feeding the Beast

Posted on 8/28/2017

HI there, We are currently disciplining our 6 year old daughter for not eating her lunch most days. The problem she claims is that they turn on the TV during lunch so she doesn't eat. She also...

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Six year old girl needs to play!

Posted on 8/23/2017

I am having trouble balancing my 6 year old's responsibilities at home. She started school this year (prep) - the year before grade 1. She's at school from 8:30am - 3pm. By the time we arrive...

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Being Accountable

Posted on 8/22/2017

Our 9 year old daughter (4th grade) is mean to other students, threatens them etc. She is in a private, Catholic school. We have kicked her out of the Garden and revoked all privileges. Now, she...

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8 yr old not fair sis gets everything/sad

Posted on 8/22/2017

My 8 year old grandson is often a gregarious, fun loving child who loves sports. My son and daugher-in-law, who both work full time, have provided a fairly structured home life with routines for...

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Being consistent.

Posted on 8/21/2017

Our 9 year old daughter has a legion of home and school misbehaviors (primarilly tantrums/hitting at home and agression/defiance at school) that have been occuring for years. After reading "The...

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Why "why" doesn't really matter.

Posted on 8/21/2017

I have a 5 year old daughter who will start kindergarten in 4 days. I have used the 6 block chart for behavior issues with good success. For some reason, the last several weeks have seen her...

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10 Year Old's Life of Disobedience

Posted on 8/18/2017

My very bright 10-year-old son simply refuses to obey. He is child #2 of 4 kids. He seems to take up all of our parenting energy. He spent a lot of time in the office for the first half of grade...

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Bedtime woes

Posted on 8/13/2017

My older son will be 5 next month and shares a room with my middle child, who is 3.5 years old this month. My almost-5 year old has started having nighttime fears and is coming out of his room a...

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8 yo No Birthday Celebration While Punished?

Posted on 8/13/2017

This is follow up question that was answered by Tim Bonzagni regarding "8 yro hurting others using ticket system." After having the discussion with the 8 yro about hurting others and the lack...

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7 Year Old's Nihilistic Talk

Posted on 8/11/2017

I have a 7 year old son who just happily started second grade. He is extremely bright and normal in every way. No major discipline problems, no unexplained behavior. Sometimes he complains...

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Can't tell who is in charge.

Posted on 8/11/2017

What is the impact on a child when one parent challenges, contradicts, minimizes, dismisses the other parent's dealing with a child in front of the child? We just spent a week of vacation with...

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Bullying or Belittling?

Posted on 8/10/2017

Sibling Bullying vs. Belittling Our 12 and 10 ½ year old sons are very different kids. We call the oldest “the lawyer.” He’s an over-achiever, good in sports, and highly...

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Disciplining Foster Children

Posted on 8/9/2017

My husband and I have four foster children in our home. The youngest two boys (ages 5 & 6) struggle with self regulation (worse when tired, like the rest of us), and with their history (severe...

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Consequences when Room Sharing

Posted on 7/29/2017

We are using the ticket system with great success! It is really helping. Thankfully we have not had to send any kids to their rooms for a super long period of time but I want to be prepared for...

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How to decide on extracurriculars for 7 & 8 yo

Posted on 7/29/2017

We want to start preparing for the school year and get a game plan for our family. Couple of questions...what are your thoughts about extra curricular activities? We have fought the battle of...

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Appropriate After School Schedule

Posted on 7/29/2017

What is an appropriate afterschool game plan for a 1st grader and 3rd grader? Can you give me some advice on how to handle homework, chores, and bedtime for this age? What type of expectations...

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Sibling Conflict

Posted on 7/22/2017

Our 13-year-old son teases his eight year old sister to no end. She reacts dramatically to the teasing (he loves getting a rise out of her, so I'm sure her reaction is his reward). She'll scream...

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Diet is a 4 letter word

Posted on 7/18/2017

I wrote before about my 7 year old son asking if he’s fat and complaining about his thighs. While I agree that it’s a teaching moment about treating others kindly, the truth is he probably does...

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Diagnosis and parenting.

Posted on 7/17/2017

Our 8-year old daughter was psychologically evaluated upon a request from her school and pediatrician. This was done for a determination of possible ADHD or Autism Spectrum issues. The results of...

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