"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

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Marriage Hurting Due to Children

Posted 2 days ago

HI there, I am really feeling the weight of childrearing recently. I'm a stay home mum. My husband and I only ever fight about the children - and nothing much else..usually when I get a worked up...

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Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted 1 week ago

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

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'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted 1 week ago

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

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Airplane anxiety

Posted 1 week ago

Our 10-year-old child has difficulty with air travel. Her nausea, primarily caused by anxiety over her past nausea during air travel, starts in the car on the way to the airport. She gets very...

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Kindergarten Homework Hassles

Posted 1 week ago

I have a young kindergartner (won't turn six until this summer), although he is doing good enough in kinder, he is very easily distracted - bright light distraction. During school and homework at...

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In Control without Controlling

Posted 2 weeks ago

We seem to be stuck on screen time issues in our house. Our kids, 11 and 7 are allowed 20 min a day once they have completed all their chores. Markedly less than many children are allowed (as my...

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Lowering the Boom

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

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Higher Level Thinking Skills

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 7 year old son has a problem solving problem. Any task he performs can make him melt down. I am sure that when he was younger I would jump in and solve his problem, but I have been very...

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Sometimes kids are weird

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 6 year old still puts things in his mouth, toys, icicles from the bottom of the car. We've explained why he needs to stop this behaviour, but don't know how to effectively stop the behaviour....

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Difficult Conversation Must Happen

Posted 3 weeks ago

Dear John, I've been a follower of yours for almost 20 years now. You have helped me to see that I can strike a balance between the "new psychobabble" and God's Truth. I am forced to balance...

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Toying With Grandma

Posted 3 weeks ago

My six-year-old granddaughter is terrible about helping her sister put up toys. She always has been. Before my daughter died, she was trying hard to get her to obey without all the drama, and the...

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Grandmother's standards.

Posted 3 weeks ago

My two grand-daughters live with their dad now that my daughter is dead. Their dad is a pathological liar and my daughter would get very upset when the girls "exaggerated" or out right lied to...

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Putting Night Terrors To Bed

Posted 1 month ago

My 7 year old daughter is scared of dying, similar to the story John tells of his daughter, Amy, when she was young. The fears come at bedtime. I don't know if Amy did this, but our Irene says...

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7 year old boy needs leadership to solve the problem

Posted 1 month ago

We are using the Strike System with our two children. Our seven year old boy often receives all of his strikes as he is a High Misbehaver (currently) and is sent to his room. However, he will not...

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Diagnosing the Problem

Posted 1 month ago

My 6 year old son is currently undergoing a neuropsychological evaluation to help identify root causes of his recent struggles to keep up academically in 1st grade due to difficulty in paying...

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Early Bird Turns Cranky

Posted on 2/12/2019

Good Evening, Our seven year old son has always been up with the birds (in WA that is anywhere between 4.30am-5.00am). On the plus side, he goes to sleep at 6.30pm without any trouble. We have...

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8 y/o Boy Distracted Easily At School

Posted on 1/30/2019

We have an 8yo boy. His teacher let us know he “often gets distracted in the middle of a task, needs multiple reminders to turn in work, write down his homework, and to focus on the task at...

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7.5 yo girl pulling mom's strings

Posted on 1/29/2019

HI, I've been working on forgetfulness for a while on my 7.5 year old daughter. She is given an instruction, but VERY often either fails to complete it or does an incomplete job of it. This has...

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Multiple Kids, One Room?

Posted on 1/27/2019

OK, I'm going to try again with a different formulation. For decades Dr. Rosemond has been advocating tickets/blocks with isolation in a comparatively stripped down room as the end state for x...

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Blended family blues.

Posted on 1/21/2019

Just wondering if you feel that all children in a step family should be treated the same, as far as, rules, quality time etc? My husband feels that since his children only have visitation with us...

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Anger Begets Anger

Posted on 1/17/2019

I need advice on losing my temper with my kids. They are 3 and 6 and occasionally I lose my temper- scream at them, sometimes use a swear word and am just mean to them. Yes they have done...

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Liberating the Playmate Dad

Posted on 1/11/2019

I read the column by Dinah Bucholz, Stop Paying Attention to Your Kids. I'm struggling because this is my downfall. My daughter wants me to play with her constantly. I have an overwhelming sense...

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"Parental Empowerment Conquers Medical Experiments"

Posted on 1/10/2019

My kids are considering putting my grandson 6yrs on medication, for being hyper and not paying attention at school. Do you know what after effects this will bring?

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Move 9 yo Son into Parents' Bedroom?

Posted on 1/9/2019

Son is 9 years old and has a sister age 7 and brother age 1. About one month prior to brother's birth, son's upstairs bedroom was converted to a nursery and son's bedroom was moved downstairs (all...

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Should You Worry About a Shy Kid?

Posted on 1/3/2019

My 10 year old daughter is shy and has trouble making friends. She can handle one on one situations, but she shuts down in a group. (and one on one is rarely the case as she has two sisters near...

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Seperation Anxiety

Posted on 12/21/2018

Our kindergartner (6 year old boy) cries and clings to our leg every morning at school drop off. His teacher notes that he is fine within a minute of our departure. He also cried and clung to us...

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Consequences

Posted on 12/19/2018

OK, I have a question concerning consequences using the system Dr. Rosemond has advocated for decades and that we used successfully with our oldest two (now delightful and responsible older...

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Now what?

Posted on 12/13/2018

Hey thank you for the answer I needed..I have taken her phone permanently only reason she had a phone is because her dad lives out of town and I work far from where I’m at and he bought her a...

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Where's That Wonderful Daughter?

Posted on 12/12/2018

My 8-year-old daughter has been a wonderful child until about a month ago. She’s lying a lot, not doing what we ask her to do, and she talks back. I have asked her what is wrong, and she tells me...

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The Headless Choresmen

Posted on 12/7/2018

Having completed "Parenting by the Book" , I sadly realize I have done my children no favors by doing so much for them. They are now 7 and 11 and need to be reminded to do every little thing. We...

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Caution: Response not politically correct.

Posted on 11/30/2018

Hi! My husband and I have three kids; a girl age 8 and boy and girl twins age 6. The girl twin has recently gotten to be very into “boy things” and please listen before making judgements. I think...

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School Age Attention Seeker

Posted on 11/5/2018

I have a 10 yo who says she is good at nothing, not intelligent, not good at school. She is not putting effort in nothing she is doing. She doesn't want to do her homeworks and doesn't care if...

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6 year old's Target Misbehaviors must be concrete and specific

Posted on 10/29/2018

We have been doing the chart system for a week now with our 6 year old son targeting disrespect/defiance and disobedience. We started out with 8 squares a day. There have only been a few days when...

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Where Lego Ends, Tickets Begin

Posted on 10/28/2018

We just started using the ticket system on our 6 year old son yesterday. Following is an example of this morning, which we're not quite sure how to handle. Our son is busy playing with his Lego...

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Out of Control 7yr old

Posted on 10/27/2018

Hi, my husband and I would appreciate some advice on our situation with our 7 year old daughter. Her medication has become ineffective recently and we are at our wits end with what to do with...

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A Six Year old's School Struggles

Posted on 10/22/2018

Our 6 yo girl went to school this year and she faced three problems there: First, she doesn’t recognize teachers’ authority (although she has due respect to us parents). This problem is further...

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Taming the Class Clown

Posted on 10/15/2018

My son is 8 years old and I'm trying the "out of the garden" to correct some behaviors. He's already corrected two of them but having trouble with his 3rd misbehavior which is having a good day at...

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No Tolerance For Hitting

Posted on 10/11/2018

My grandson is the perfect student inside the classroom. However, when allowed outside to play, especially team sports such as basketball, he becomes very aggressive. He hits when something...

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Don't Play Dumb With Me

Posted on 10/9/2018

My son is 8 years old and is having behavioral problems. One of his issues is playing dumb. He always acts like he doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing and is always leaving his belongings...

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Tickets Explained

Posted on 10/8/2018

Hi. I'm not quite sure how the ticket system works. I have a 10yo boy who pesters like crazy if he doesn't get his way. He also talks very sassy to his parents and grandparents. I desperately need...

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Parenting perspective adjustment.

Posted on 10/6/2018

My 8 year old son is giving us a few issues. He primarily lives with my husband and I, and goes to his fathers every Friday and every other weekend. He is allowed to do whatever he wants which...

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5 year old boy behaves better at home than at school

Posted on 10/4/2018

My 5 year old son is in preschool, and we are working very hard on his behavior and manners. He still has tantrums which I am working hard to end. Lately, when he has a tantrum or is disrespectful...

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Exposure to Exposure

Posted on 9/26/2018

Hello. I read so many articles about what to do after a child or teen has been exposed and then becomes addicted to pornography. What are some steps to protect my child from interacting with...

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Getting a 4 and 6 yr old help get ready for school bus

Posted on 9/24/2018

This year my 4 year old has joined my 6 year old in the morning school routine, as she is in 4K and the other in 1st grade. They take the bus to school together and they have a list of things to...

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Forgetful Schooler

Posted on 9/24/2018

Hi there, how can I discipline a 7 year old girl who is always forgetting instructions to be completed? I would giver her 2 or 3 instructions and she completes 1 or 2 of them, or completes all but...

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Use John's ABC or DRC Method for Issues at School?

Posted on 9/24/2018

My son is currently in the 4th grade. At the beginning of the school year, we implemented the "ABC's of Effective Homework Management" and as expected, our son has been slacking on his homework...

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Empathy, an important skill to be practiced

Posted on 9/23/2018

How can I assist my child in developing empathy?

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Mean Girl IRL

Posted on 9/22/2018

Hello, our 9 year old son has been getting grief from a girl 1-2 years older than he. She tells her friends to stay from our son. She does this routinely and continues to recruit more of her and...

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Withholding Birthday From 7 Year Old

Posted on 9/19/2018

Hi, My 7 year old daughter has a perfect word that describes her actions towards her home school and chores, and that word is lollygag. I have frustrations with this and have for awhile. I had to...

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6 Year Fearful of Being Alone

Posted on 9/19/2018

I’m looking for some feedback on how to handle our 6 year old boy’s fear of being alone. It started about a year ago and seemed to have lessened after a few months but has resurfaced recently with...

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