"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

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Hands Off!

Posted 2 days ago

My 7 year is always making stupid annoying loud noises and shouting and he keeps doing this in his 8 month old sisters face. He also constantly grabs her hands and smothers her. They seem to get...

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Co-parenting precautions

Posted 2 days ago

My 7 year old son has told me he watches films which are 12+, scary, include swearing, witchcraft (which goes against my Christian Faith) when he stays with his Dad. My son doesn’t seem very...

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10 yo struggles with low self-esteem & social anxiety

Posted 1 week ago

My 10 year old is dyslexic, and struggles with low self-esteem and social anxiety. How do I help him with his social anxiety? How do I help him with is low self esteem. Is there a book or two...

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Addressing Food Issues - Part 1

Posted 1 week ago

Our kids are 10, 6, 4, and 20 months. The 10, 6, and 4 year olds do not eat their dinners very well. Sometimes they don't eat at all and pick and complain about their food. I get tired of...

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6 Strikes in 1 At-bat

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi John, my 9yr old daughter has taken to raising her voice, screaming, arguing, sarcasm and just downright disrespect when things aren't going her way. We have a target misbehavior chart and she...

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Take Charge of Bedtime Shenanigans

Posted 2 weeks ago

Feeling frustrated. I have a 6 year old, and 2 year old. They are hanging up on me! For example- I say it’s time for bed, and I tell them to come brush their teeth, the older one starts to...

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Children do not make good parents.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello; My son is getting worse as he gets older. He refuses to listen or obey. He talks back at every turn. We took his toys away over a week ago and told him he could get them back after his...

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Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted 4 weeks ago

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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Sibling Must Work it Out!

Posted 4 weeks ago

I have two children: An 8-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever my daughter doesn’t have school, however, we have conflict. My son...

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Refusal To Eat Leads To Worry

Posted on 2/29/2020

My 7 year old son and his 9 year old sister were playing around while brushing teeth and somehow his tooth brush jammed into the side of his mouth. He needed oral surgery for a herniated buccal...

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Siblings Must Work It Out!

Posted on 2/25/2020

I’ve got two kids, an almost 8 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever she doesn’t have school, we have the most conflict. He loves...

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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Lower the Boom on School Misbehavior

Posted on 1/22/2020

Our seven year old got sent to the principles office today for telling another student "I'm going to kill you". He was already one night into a three night bout of being banished to his room due...

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8 Year Old Loves to Argue with Mom

Posted on 1/21/2020

My almost 8 year old boy has become quite skilled at arguing. In addition to arguing things that are easily proven false, he also contradicts you in casual conversation. I'm not sure if it's just...

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Little Victories

Posted on 1/16/2020

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

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6 Year Old Laughs When She Gets In Trouble

Posted on 1/13/2020

Good Morning, We have been using the ticket system and it's worked well. I have a 6 year old girl, who seems to have thrived from it until recently. Now when she loses a ticket she says "i...

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Ticket to change.

Posted on 1/13/2020

My 7-year old son has this habit of expressing his frustration, questioning me, or complaining about what I've told him to do or said, “no” to. He asks, “Why not?” and I answer simply, “Because...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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10-Year-Old Worries about Death

Posted on 1/12/2020

Hello- We have a 10 year old only child who has recently started crying and getting upset about what he will do when we die and how sad he will be. We have tried to reassure him but it’s become a...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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The Age-Gap Triplicate

Posted on 1/1/2020

My kids (11-girl, 10-girl, 3-boy) were driving me crazy with all the squabbling. Especially as the 3 year old gets older. All 3 kids are on the ticket system. I’ve read a lot of the q & a on here...

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Challenging "smile stones."

Posted on 12/19/2019

My 6 year old daughter visits the school nurse quite often for the tiniest of things. She seems to love the attention she gets when she is hurt... and it seems to happen a lot. She was coming home...

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Shorten bedtime routine

Posted on 12/2/2019

Hello, I have two daughters - an almost 3 year old and a 6 year old. i am married to an airline pilot who needs to regularly be out of town for 4-5 days a week. We make it through the days pretty...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Forming a United Parenting Front

Posted on 12/1/2019

Hello...fully realizing Mr Rosemond is NOT a marriage counselor I do have a question. I am 70 years old and my spouse is 49. We have a daughter, 10 years old, that is very bright (public school...

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Mom on track with chores, allowance

Posted on 11/30/2019

I keep being advised I should use reward charts/money allowances for good behavior and chores around the house (for almost 7 year old). But, something doesn't sit right with me about this. I cant...

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Kerfuffling Kids

Posted on 11/28/2019

Hi! I have a 9 year old daughter and boy/girl twin 7 year olds. The twins tend to play really nicely together. They are also in the same class and the same group on the swim team. My 9 year old...

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It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

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Argumentative 10-Year-Old Needs a Reality Check

Posted on 11/26/2019

Argumentative 10 year old- May daughter is pushing back on everything. When told to do something (anything) she grumbles, sighs, complains, etc. My husband and I have been working on "yes mom,...

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Mom needs to wake up

Posted on 11/25/2019

I’ve read the question “Resetting the dial” - while we don’t have a big family, we do want to start having some family rules e.g. Come when you are called, do not disturb the family peace, getting...

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Ignoring Bad Habits

Posted on 11/25/2019

My 9-year-old daughter still puts things in her mouth and chews on them like a toddler: Lego pieces, wrappers, etc. It seems like she has an oral fixation and always needs to be chewing or sucking...

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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Challenges of Ticket System for Mother of Four

Posted on 11/7/2019

Our oldest 4 children, ages 10, 8, 6, and 5, are all on the tickets system. They each start the day with 5 tickets. The first three tickets lost are "free", the 4th ticket costs them the...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted on 11/6/2019

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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Seeking Friends

Posted on 11/5/2019

Hello! We have a wonderful 5 year old boy who started kindergarten this past August. He is wonderfully sweet, but a bit naive. As his mother, a lot of my interests which can definitely be...

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Reforming a Licker

Posted on 11/5/2019

Our 7 year old boy has been licking things (like most of us would smell). We went to the fair last night and I watched him lick the handle bar of one of the rides. Today, I went outside to check...

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The Taming of the Crew

Posted on 10/23/2019

I need help understanding the difference between sibling rivalry and sibling abuse. I know I'm supposed to punish both children equally when they fight, but what about in a situation where the...

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Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

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Reconnecting with an Out of Control Child

Posted on 10/16/2019

I need help formulating a garden kick for my 10 yr old daughter. She is the oldest of 6 children, has behaved badly since she was 3, and is now increasingly unable to coexist in the home with her...

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Church Expectations

Posted on 10/6/2019

This is a question about age-appropriate expectations in Church. We have 6 children ages 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, and 1. I have told the older kids that, unless you are a baby or a toddler - which they...

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"Curious Questions"

Posted on 10/5/2019

Hello, My boys are 9, 7, and 4. I understand they are curious but they are constantly asking questions and asking for things which feels overwhelming. When they ask for things, I usually give...

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Nip Disrespectful Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 10/3/2019

I home school my 7-year-old son. We are working on obeying and being respectful. Often when I tell him something he responds disrespectfully. He will yell back at me or say something mean and then...

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Disrespectful 7-Year-Old

Posted on 10/2/2019

We are using the discipline strategies taught in Well-Behaved Child. I home school 7 and 5 year old boys. My 7 year old responds to me with disrespectful remarks. For example: "You are so mean, I...

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Too Many Expectations for 9-Year-Old

Posted on 9/25/2019

My daughter is 9, she is very respectful (although disobeying and arguing are not respectful) and has great manners ("yes ma'am", "yes, sir"). She has given me a run for my money her whole life...

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When to Intervene in School Issues

Posted on 9/24/2019

My almost 10-year-old son came home in hysterical tears yesterday. His side of the story is that at school he saw someone’s school ID on the floor, picked it up, and asked, “Whose ID is this?” and...

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Discipline Heartily(with Infusions of Affection)

Posted on 9/22/2019

Good Morning, I am a single dad of 3 boys ages 7 and 3 yo twins. Recently one of the twin boys has been acting out at preschool and at home. He wont listen to instruction, throw toys, hit his...

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