Questions

12 Year-Old Boy Won’t Accept “No”

Posted 2 weeks ago

We implemented a plan to help our 12 year old son learn the importance of keeping his room clean: He must keep it clean for ten days in order to order anything online, get a ride, etc. He did it...

Discipline at home for behavior at school

Posted on 4/19/2023

We have already raised our 4 daughters, the youngest is 24. We are currently, for some incredible reasons, in our third month of fostering to adopt a young child. Things at home are slowly...

Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

KIDS RUINING SPRING BREAK VACATION

Posted on 3/15/2023

We are on Spring Break and our kids have not been listening/obeying. Thus, we took away dinners out and got a babysitter and also removed their privilege of playing tennis because that was where...

Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

Progress isn't Linear

Posted on 2/16/2023

After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...

Time to Turn the Tables on 4-Year-Old

Posted on 2/5/2023

My husband and I own and operate a private preschool. Our son is 4 1/2 years old is currently has been enrolled in our school since September 2021. Over the course of his enrollment, our son...

A TYRANT IN THE MAKING

Posted on 1/23/2023

Any suggestions to tactfully tell your adult parenting children that they are making a monster out of their 4 year old by trying to coddle him at every snag in his day. They are using some...

Attention-Getting Antics Working for 4YO

Posted on 1/12/2023

Our question is about punishment for our 4½ year old girl. Usually we ask her to stand in a circle on the floor, or we send her to her room for the rest of the night, or a fixed amount of time, no...

Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

The Doctor is In

Posted on 11/29/2022

Help! Our daughter is 5 and has become defiant and disobedient. For example she will come to us and say "I know I'm not supposed to (enter action) but I did." She said she's being truthful by...

Pest Control

Posted on 11/17/2022

Our 5-year-old daughter has come a long way with her behavior in the last year, but the top two biggest issues still are 1) her never ending pestering and annoying. She pesters and annoys those...

Silly boy, listening is for kids

Posted on 11/13/2022

Our 4 year old was a pretty good listener right up to when he turned 4. We've weathered some big tantrums, which seem to mostly be in decline (frequency & length). Now, he has started to just "be...

10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

10 YEAR OLD WITH DEMONS?

Posted on 10/5/2022

I have been asking questions and seeking advice for a time. Had a coach, but my husband discontinued service. Last time I wrote I mentioned, My husband said we should cut it at the root. He...

Raising Believers

Posted on 8/30/2022

We just started the ticket system and we have one target misbehavior for our 4 year old. Following directions. For example, when he loses a ticket because he doesn’t listen when we ask him to...

The Compass Points South: A 15-Year-Old’s Craving for Independence

Posted on 8/29/2022

I have a 15 year old daughter that I used to call my "compass" as she was such an easy child to raise. But, the last 2 years have been difficult. Now, I haven't spoken to her for 3 days because I...

GRANDPARENT TRAVAILS REDUX

Posted on 8/23/2022

John, Hi, my sons are grown now, enjoyed your columns, WE have 1 grandson . His Dad, my son, was spoiled so it seems to be continuing unfortunately. Question: now that Roman is 3, doesn't...

"Boxers on the Noggin'": The Silliness of a Boy--and his Disobedience

Posted on 7/19/2022

This is regarding the card system. The rules we initially established are: no hitting/kicking, no throwing and do what mom and dad say. So, sometimes we will be getting dressed and he’s being...

10-Year-Old Not Getting the Message

Posted on 6/16/2022

My ten-year-old son has recently been misbehaving at school with a friend. First, the teacher informed us that after the class was told not to play hide and seek inside the school building during...

11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER

Posted on 6/11/2022

My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...

Posted on 5/27/2022

.Our 16-year daughter is the last of three children. Our son is 29 and resides in South Africa with his wife. Our daughter, 20, has returned from college this summer. My husband believes in...

Time for a Reboot

Posted on 5/18/2022

Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 3.5 year old thinks he is running the show. He is bossy, and doing insubordination and attention seeking behaviors. I read your books and he was an easy toddler. But dad I forgot to use alpha...

Let 3-Year-Old Know You Mean Business!

Posted on 4/19/2022

My child is 3 and a half and has started talking back and hitting. Putting him in his room doesn't help. He comes right out. Suggestions?

Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

Exhausted and Longing for Peace

Posted on 4/4/2022

Discovering your books has put us on a new trajectory in our family after years of struggle with our "high misbehavior" 5 year old. For several months we've used the ticket system and "kicked him...

8-Year-Old Needs the Ticket to Self Control

Posted on 4/4/2022

My 8-year-old has a severe temper. He is the third out of six children, and we are homeschooling the other five. He will spend a week at my mother's house and is calm there, but when he gets back...

8 year old needs the ticket to self control

Posted on 3/28/2022

My red-headed 8-year-old has a severe temper. He is the third out of six children and we are homeschooling the other five. He will spend a week at my mother's house for a week and he seems calm...

Middle of the Night Snacks Prolonging Mealtime Battles

Posted on 3/20/2022

In September I asked for advice on my picky 2-year-old. For 6 months, I have consistently tried the methods recommended. I didn't fuss over meals, just gave him small amounts of whatever I made,...

It's Not About the Makeup: Time for a Garden Kick

Posted on 3/20/2022

15-year old daughter very obsessed with make-up. Used our Amazon account to buy makeup Products without our knowing till I looked up order history. Took away all her makeup products, went...

Wake-Up Call Needed ASAP

Posted on 3/20/2022

Our 9-year-old is perfectly functional in a school setting (no issues with socializing, is meeting most benchmarks, is polite and caring). At home and when we are in public as a family, it is...

Parental Leadership is Critical

Posted on 3/10/2022

Good afternoon, My 5, almost 6, year old son is struggling, in school and at home, with impulse control and tantrums. Today, he got in trouble at school for spitting on the carpet and another...

6-Year Old Fit-Pitching: Stay Strong, Mom!

Posted on 2/12/2022

Our six and a half year old is not getting her responsibilities completed on school nights. She is in school all day and then goes to an after school program for a couple of hours (we both work)....

Little Runaway

Posted on 2/10/2022

Our 11 yr old son has been spending a lot of time in room due to behavior and losing tickets. He decided yesterday after losing his tickets that he had enough and was running away. He has said...

You're in Charge Now

Posted on 1/21/2022

Okay so I’m ready to administer a discipline plan for my daughter. My questions are; 1. How much is too much? I’m ready to take a lot of her favorite things away. But, what about life...

Silly Bedtime Brothers

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our older two boys, 5 and 7, go crazy at bedtime. They are silly, which is fine, but in being silly they make messes and are often disrespectful. After going to bed, we can hear them laughing and...

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

What to Say, What to Do?

Posted on 1/4/2022

How much to say of what we know? We randomly review our 15 year old daughter's school laptop. We just did so for the first time this school year a few days ago. We found screenshots of messages...

Importance of Presenting a United Parenting Front

Posted on 1/2/2022

This may be a complicated question: I have a question about my and my husband's parenting styles. I come from a conservative background, my parents were old school and traditional. Lots of...

Posted on 12/30/2021

We have an 8-year-old son who throws violent tantrums. He has always been “a handful” so these fits aren’t anything new, they’re less frequent but much more destructive. In the past, we had a...

Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Rocked His World

Posted on 12/15/2021

Hello. My husband and I have two kids, one 20-month old boy and one 2-month old girl. The younger one is an easy baby and the older one likes his baby sister (exhibited by kissing her all the...

What to do when he says, "no"

Posted on 12/10/2021

Our third son is turning 3 in about a week. He has started saying "no" when we tell him to do something, and then runs away when we try to discipline him. We have been resorting to spanking...

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

Clarifying the Garden Kick

Posted on 12/4/2021

Does kicking out of the garden mean the child is confined to their new boring room for the duration of the time? Do you restrict them from playing outside with sibblings or friends? Can they...

Leave Christmas Alone

Posted on 11/27/2021

Currently my daughter has lost all her toys until her behavior improves. If she hasn’t changed her behavior by Christmas, is it wrong not to allow her to open presents on Christmas Day but require...

Awakened Mom Wants Respectful 8 year old Son

Posted on 11/24/2021

I have a 7, almost 8 year old son, who has not ever been appropriately disciplined and has developed into a challenging and, dare I say, entitled child. He has little respect for me and when I...

8-Year-Old Ruling the Roost (Follow-up)

Posted on 11/24/2021

Okay in regards to my prior question. I purchased the book. Thank you. Can you please tell me some examples of what you mean right now so I can start turning the tables ASAP! Instead of...

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