"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted 6 days ago

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted 2 weeks ago

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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Grandparent Etiquette

Posted on 9/15/2019

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

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Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted on 9/6/2019

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

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No Toddlers Allowed!!

Posted on 8/29/2019

I am currently reading Making the "Terrible" Twos Terrific and in Q&A section of Chapter 3, a mom asks about her son who throws things, even in restaurants. In his response to the mother, Dr....

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7 yro needs a check up from the good old Dr.

Posted on 8/26/2019

I am starting my 3rd year of homeschooling my son who is now a 7 year old 2nd grader. And this year I’ve added my 5 year old kindergartener. I have struggled with the 7 year old obeying me...

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Nipping Interrupting in the Bud

Posted on 8/21/2019

How to nip 4 and 7 year old siblings interrupting adults in the bud? Thank you:))))

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The S Word

Posted on 7/29/2019

My 28 month old is having an issue with calling me "stupid." When we are at home I put him in time out for 5 minutes and tell him “no calling mommy names.” What do I do when we are out in public...

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A Strong Marriage is Your First Priority

Posted on 7/24/2019

This is the scinerao...we are sitting at the dinner table. My husband is reading "whatever the latest news is" on his phone. When our 6 yr. talks back to me or does not do what I have asked of...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Morning Grumpies

Posted on 5/4/2019

Our son is just shy of turning 5 and attends a full day preschool. He is not always in the best of moods in the morning when I (mom) drop him off and is sometimes clingy. He receives good...

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6 yro has trouble occupying herself

Posted on 3/25/2019

Our 6-year-old daughter does not like to occupy herself. When we ask her to play by herself, she keeps coming from her room asking us to play with her or asking us to be with her. But when she is...

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How to Nip Whining in the Bud

Posted on 3/24/2019

Hello, my 3-year-old whines quite a bit. Most of the times he jumps up and down when asking for something. He whines more when he doesn’t get what he wants, is sick, tired, etc. We tell him we’ll...

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Parental Reason is a Dish Best Served Cold

Posted on 3/8/2019

What do you recommend for two little ones ages 3 and 4 for not wanting to eat what I fix for meals? This has just started and we want to nip it as soon as we can. Do we make them sit until they...

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Sometimes kids are weird

Posted on 2/24/2019

My 6 year old still puts things in his mouth, toys, icicles from the bottom of the car. We've explained why he needs to stop this behaviour, but don't know how to effectively stop the behaviour....

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Separate but Equal

Posted on 2/10/2019

I have an introverted, sensitive (gentle and kind) four-year-old son and an extroverted, physically rambunctious two-year-old son. The two year old is physically aggressive (biting and hitting)...

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Mom's Got a lot on her Plate

Posted on 2/9/2019

Our daughter (3.5) has been a fairly good eater: from olives to avocados to salmon, everything was fine with her. But lately I noticed that she hardly eats anything at dinner (just dinner, not...

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She be Bossy says her Posse

Posted on 2/4/2019

Good Morning, My daughter, Anne is turning 4. She is very sweet and somewhat of a typical “first child” if you will. She also has a lot if personality. She has recently been telling me that her...

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14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

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Discipline Drama

Posted on 12/13/2018

I have a 2.5 (boy) and 3.5 (girl) year old, and my girl constantly is taking things from her brother. He doesn’t tend to fight back much. I’m wondering when I can expect my daughter to stop...

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Expecting Manners at Age Two?

Posted on 11/29/2018

Our son will be 3 in a few months He is very verbal and outgoing which can sometimes get us into trouble. Anticipating the holidays coming up and him receiving gifts, do you have any advice on...

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Have You Hugged Someone Today?

Posted on 11/8/2018

my dad sometimes continually suggests that my 2.5 year old son should come and give him a hug or come sit in his lap when we are at their house visiting. They live maybe a mile away, so we see...

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Manners are great!

Posted on 10/4/2018

Hello! I would like to ask for your advice on how to work on instilling manners into our oldest daughter (3.5 years). We expect her to say please and thank you (like we expect that of...

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5 year old boy behaves better at school than at home

Posted on 10/4/2018

My 5 year old son is in preschool, and we are working very hard on his behavior and manners. He still has tantrums which I am working hard to end. Lately, when he has a tantrum or is disrespectful...

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Respecting family rules when out with other families' children do what they want

Posted on 9/23/2018

How can I make my child respect our own family rules in public when we're out with other parents and their children seem to do what they want? I don't want to be judgmental towards the other...

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Teaching a Child to Say "I'm Sorry"

Posted on 9/23/2018

How do I make my child say they're sorry when they hurt someone or did something wrong?

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Following Rules

Posted on 9/19/2018

My 5 year old just started kindergarten and she has made a few friends - one that she just adores. This morning when I dropped her off for school she couldn't find her best friend and she was...

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Teen Dating

Posted on 9/4/2018

Hello -- Do you have any collection of articles about teen dating? (it did not seem to be listed as a subject) Any overall rules of thumb to apply? We have a 16 year old boy that is getting...

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Address manners with 9 year old one at a time

Posted on 8/8/2018

I'm hoping for a response from Katherine Saltzberg, as I am referencing her response titled "5 year old table manners". In your response, you state that each bad habit needs to be tackled one...

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4 yo Using Mean Words and Potty Mouth

Posted on 5/30/2018

"I'm stupid/you're stupid/that's stupid, dumb, poop face, butt..." These are all words we do not condone our son saying. However, he works them in every chance he gets. How do we get our son to...

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Keep PDA to a Minimum

Posted on 5/27/2018

My son is almost 15 and has become friends with a girl in his homeschool co-op. What is the best way to communicate boundaries regarding public displays of affection at this stage of his life?

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Normal Preschooler!

Posted on 5/26/2018

Preschool has been a wonderful thing for my 5-year old daughter. The two things that were a theme throughout the year, however, were that her teacher told me that my daughter often talked out of...

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Table Manners Matter

Posted on 5/18/2018

Our 8 year old daughter has poor table manners. What is your suggestion on improving them? We have tried nagging (obviously unsuccessful), working on one thing at a time (worked for the first...

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Get Along or Get Away

Posted on 5/13/2018

Hello! My 6 and 3 years old sometimes play well together just perfect, but sometimes it is just horribly. 6 years would do something that 3 years doesn’t like or they just can’t share one red...

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Teaching Tween Kindness

Posted on 3/10/2018

Hi, I'm wondering how I can teach my 10 year old to have a kind heart. Her 7 year old sister is always doing sweet things for her without prompting and she sees it modeled between her dad and I...

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5 year old table manners

Posted on 1/10/2018

We have a hyperactive, strong-willed 5-year-old daughter (and we are learning to get on with this). We would like to know how to approach what we call “multiple offenses”. For instance,...

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Pre-Schooler Stuck in Season 1

Posted on 1/1/2018

Hi there, i have a little 3.5 year old who is completely out of control. I admit we have let him run the house a little bit as he is a little spitfire and makes things unpleasant(ie screams as...

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What to Do About Screaming?

Posted on 9/4/2017

I have a 7 year old daughter who goes from 0-10 and screams loudly over tiny little things, and everyone rushes to her rescue (except us) when something happens. For instance, if she stubs her...

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Questions about the Ticket System

Posted on 8/21/2017

A couple of months ago, we started the ticket system on our 5 year old son. It has worked relatively well. There are 2 target behaviors: whining and not listening when he is asked to do...

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Why "why" doesn't really matter.

Posted on 8/21/2017

I have a 5 year old daughter who will start kindergarten in 4 days. I have used the 6 block chart for behavior issues with good success. For some reason, the last several weeks have seen her...

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Require respect from college-age daughter

Posted on 7/16/2017

Our college student, who holds down a full time job in the summer and a 20-hour part-time job during the school year when she lives on campus, seems incapable or unwilling to follow through on the...

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Never argue with a 5 year old.

Posted on 7/16/2017

My one and only gives the vibe she is superior to her classmates by contradicting them, telling them they are wrong or having show off behaviour. I'm afraid she will not have any friends, but am...

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Whining

Posted on 7/6/2017

I have read quiet a bit of John's articles, books and listen to his podcasts. He doesn't talk about whining. Our kids drive us absolutely crazy with whining all day long. They complain...

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Frustrated Grandparents Want a Peaceful Family Dinner

Posted on 6/11/2017

Our grandchildren, preschool aged, do not eat dinner with their parents, and have not been reared to share a family meal. Consequently, when the family comes to our house for the occasional meal...

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Angry Outbursts from a 3-year-old

Posted on 5/21/2017

Every time I tell my 3 1/2 year old to do something (ex: put your cup up on the table more instead of on the edge, don't jump around in the kitchen, etc.) she crosses her arms and grunts. Or she...

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Please?

Posted on 2/28/2017

Can you give me your advice on the use of the word "please" when addressing our children? Should we be avoiding this word when issuing instructions to the children, but otherwise it is fine? ...

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Out of control 5 and 3 y/o boys

Posted on 1/3/2017

Hello, I am doing a miserable job as a parent to my two boys (aged 5 and 3). They are out of hand entirely. We can't get through prayers at the dinner table without at least one of them being...

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