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John's Most Recent Columns - FREE!

How To Stop Nitpicking

Posted 4 days ago

Q: A friend recently pointed out that I constantly nitpick my nine-year-old son’s behavior. Her words were, “You’re on his case all the time.” Why do I nitpick and how can I stop? A: ...

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Just 'Stop It!'

Posted 1 week ago

I often find myself telling parents that they need to stop doing something that is counterproductive and, in most cases, contributing significantly to whatever parenting problem is bedeviling...

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Should Son Switch Schools?

Posted 2 weeks ago

Q: Our 13-year-old eighth-grader says he doesn’t like the small private school he attends and wants us to put him in public high school next year. His grades are fine, he’s got several close...

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Fixing Our 'Parent-View'

Posted 3 weeks ago

Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...

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Why? Because I Said So

Posted on 9/22/2021

When I was a graduate student, one of the parenting memes then emerging from within the mental health professional community had it that “children deserved explanations.” The flip side of that...

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Question of the Week...

Peer Relationships Require Support

Posted 3 weeks ago

My oldest son is 4.5 and by nature is an introvert most of the time. He is shy to start with and then you can't stop him talking thereafter. I wonder if I've made a mistake by encouraging him to...

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Recent Questions & Answers

Ask Them No Questions, and They Will Tell You No Lies

Posted 3 weeks ago

Hi! My seven year old was trained to fall asleep (8pm) on his own and he knows he’s to stay in bed until 7am. He has been waking up in the night around 2am and often stays up for the rest of the...

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Getting Started on the Ticket System

Posted on 9/14/2021

At what age is it appropriate to do 2 sets of tickets? One for sibling conflict and one for personal? How long should I wait to start there personal ones? We just started sibling conflict about a...

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The Doctor Can Help!

Posted on 9/1/2021

Our middle child, a 5 year old boy, has intense emotions. We have (re)started the ticket system with him and his older brother, and he consistently loses tickets after school in the car. We have...

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Time for A Garden Kick

Posted on 8/27/2021

We have our 12 year old son's phone locked for certain reasons. If his grades slip below a B we lock it so he can only call family, if he is disrespectful or doesn't complete his chores, his...

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