"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

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Never too late to become a leader.

Posted 5 days ago

I have a 16-year-old son whom I have custody of 50% of the time. His father is very permissive and expects no chores. I am not and have expectations of household help. He consistently refuses,...

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Drugs

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 16 year old has some very straight friends and some that are experimenting with drugs. I am suspicious all the time and have drug tested him which he has passed. The party house is across the...

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Three Angry Teens, One Frazzled Mom

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have a 17 year old, a 15 year old and a 13 year old all whom believe life completely and utterly revolves around them. the 17 year old boy refuses to look for work, he has let his learners...

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Teens and driving.

Posted 3 weeks ago

We told our 16 1/2 year old son that he must maintain a C-average and have no major behavioral violations for 3 months in order to obtain his driver's license. He does online schooling at home...

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What now?

Posted on 1/14/2018

Do you think i need to text her once in a while and ask how is she doing? I guess i just want to make sure that I do this right, this time, Should I still let her know I am here in her life no...

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Persistent Lying

Posted on 1/14/2018

I am having a continuous issue with my daughter lying about going to boys' houses. She always tells me she is going to a girl friend's but is really going to a boys. Our rules are 1. Be honest...

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Daughter choosing Dad

Posted on 1/13/2018

Now my daughter is with her biological father who rented an extended stay for himself and her close to school, so she can finish school now. It's her last year and she needs to start applying for...

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Angry daughter needs dose of reality.

Posted on 1/8/2018

Good day, we have tried lots of different things,this is the way she is now, alway angry, I dont know what to do except her bio dad to be with her now. What would be your recommendation for me, in...

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Parental Rights and Decisions

Posted on 1/8/2018

I had a big fight with my daughter, she snapped and started hitting me. My husband, who's her stepdad, was trying to stop her by grabbing her hands and pulling her away. I called the police...

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Teen Misuses Cell Phone Privileges

Posted on 12/14/2017

I recently found a nude picture of a boy on my 15 year old daughter's phone and one of her chest. I assume they are exchanging pictures. I am horrified and am thinking of the best consequence to...

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Too many chances leads to deceit.

Posted on 12/13/2017

My 15 year old asked if she could have Netflix. We told her we’d like to see her show us that she can manage her time better before we say yes. Gave her some thoughts on what we would like to...

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17 yo daughter looking for a fight

Posted on 11/30/2017

Thank you for your previous advise. Me and my 17 yo fight alway, no days go by without hatred. I am concerned about a lot of things and afraid I cant change them. I let them go then I start fight...

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To Medicate, or Not

Posted on 11/20/2017

I've wrote to you a year ago, now I need your advice on this situation. My 17 yo daughter was upset a lot, cried for an extended period so I took her to a psychologist. My daughter likes her...

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Teens dealing with "a constant barrage of negative things"

Posted on 11/18/2017

Hello! This is not exactly a child-rearing question but it pertains to everything about being a parent. How do we keep from drowning in the pain we witness our children going through? I have a...

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Teens and the Telephone

Posted on 11/15/2017

I have noticed that parents writing in about problems with kids and phones are repeatedly told to take the device away and the child can have it when they can purchase their own device. I don't...

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Online School is a Privilege Not a Right

Posted on 11/3/2017

We have homeschooled our 3 kids for all of their school years. Last year we enrolled our son (now 16.5) in online public schooling because he refused to be cooperative with school work. Online...

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16 yo Defiance

Posted on 10/31/2017

My wife and I are having trouble with our oldest 16 yr old son. He is very selfish, defiant and manipulative. My wife says I need to do something now but I am having trouble knowing the right way...

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The Phone is Not the Problem

Posted on 10/4/2017

So, in response to the answer to my question I have a few other questions. In the past few days a lot has transpired and my husband and I really had it out over my son. I understand a lot of his...

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Lower the Boom on 18 year old son

Posted on 10/1/2017

My son has just turned 18 and is a senior in high school. He had his first job this summer doing construction work with some people we know. He did well getting up early and they said that he...

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AP Classes and Motivation

Posted on 8/31/2017

Hi! My son started high school a couple of weeks ago. He was placed in an advanced program where they start taking some AP classes in 9th grade. He has been against the program since we went to an...

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Toddler training

Posted on 8/6/2017

My husband and I are looking for advice on how to discipline our 16 month old. He is a very energetic toddler, running around and getting into everything he can. We have a baby gate up to stop him...

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16 Year Old Daughter's Continued Rebellion

Posted on 8/6/2017

I wrote a few months ago about my daughter who I caught drinking. It turns out that it wasn't a blip on the radar with her. Given her behavior of late (defensive, sneaky), I tracked her location...

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15-year-old doesn't like being "un-hinged!"

Posted on 8/4/2017

We have an adopted son, almost 16 yo, who has been with us for 2 1/2 years. He spent most of his earlier life in an over-crowded orphanage, with very little male influence and little supervision....

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Challenges of the two parent home.

Posted on 7/24/2017

Hello, I have 2 boys, 14 and 16 years old. I am divorced from their father. Their father and I have a civil relationship regarding the boys. We have always disagreed in the general rearing of the...

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Teenagers, Technology and Life

Posted on 6/13/2017

With the deluge of technology in children's lives today, once the children reach their teens, including late teens, what would you consider to be fair usage rules in the home for both computers...

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A blip on her radar?

Posted on 6/4/2017

Hello- Last evening, I caught my 16 year old daughter who came home from a graduation party (with adults present) very intoxicated. She was throwing up in the bathroom w/ 2 girlfriends who were...

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High Schoolers & the Internet

Posted on 5/10/2017

Please help me navigate the internet access issue for highschoolers. You say for them to do their homework in their own rooms (so they know they are responsible) but don't have TVs and internet...

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Clues for teenage behaviors

Posted on 4/24/2017

attitude and/or behavior that would indicate a teen having an interest in or use of drugs or alchol.

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Post divorce parenting struggles.

Posted on 4/21/2017

I have a son (14) and daughter (16) who I share custody (40%) with my ex wife (60%). We have been divorced 5 years. We live about a mile apart. Daughter has decided now that she’s 16, she doesn’t...

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Step-family parenting challenges.

Posted on 4/19/2017

My husband and I have been married for nine years. We both had three children. My question is how to handle discipline when only half if the children have to follow the family rules. I love my...

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Launching that 18 year old.

Posted on 4/14/2017

Our oldest daughter just turned 18 and is soon graduating high school. She's a motivated straight A student, a good kid, & has dreams of college & a career. She is also lovesick & is becoming...

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16 yo Wants Hormone Therapy to Change Sex

Posted on 3/22/2017

What is your take on transgender teenagers who want to undergo hormone therapy. Beautiful 16 year old, highly intelligent girl wants to take testosterone to become a boy before going to college...

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What's a School Counselor to Do?

Posted on 3/13/2017

Hi John, I'm a K-12 School Counselor and schools today have many challenges. One of them involves working with kids in junior high and high school who are failing, school is not working for...

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Siblings and borrowing.

Posted on 3/12/2017

Our teenaged daughters know they are not to borrow clothes from one another without asking. The college daughter continually violates this, taking things without asking back to her dorm and even...

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Shocking Discovery

Posted on 3/5/2017

I recently found marijuana paraphernalia in my 18 year old daughter's room. She is a senior in high school and, up until this point, a very responsible and trustworthy child. She is an excellent...

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Teen Meltdown

Posted on 2/22/2017

I read on here to take a time out before engaging with a teen and making a decision. Then once giving your decision, being a 'robot' when responding. We have an intelligent, 6ft, almost 15 yr old...

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Appropriate Age for Cell Phone

Posted on 2/12/2017

You do not recommend teens have cell phones At what point, do you think it is ok for a person to have one? When they can work and pay for it themselves?

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16 yo thief needs strong response

Posted on 2/12/2017

I have read teen proofing once and am in the process of reading it again. But I do not know what to do about our teenage daughter. This afternoon after church I found my extra set of car keys in...

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Teen sex.

Posted on 2/7/2017

our 16 year old son has become sexually active with his girlfriend. This began last summer, they broke up for 4 months, but have resumed their relationship this past week. They were both virgins...

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What to Do When Older Sister Is Mean to Younger Sister

Posted on 2/5/2017

Our older daughter continues to be a source of hurt to her younger sister. They are three years apart and both teens. They are both well liked in the community, praised by teachers, active in...

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Ask them no questions...

Posted on 1/21/2017

My 15 year old has been lying. Last month it was about getting homework done after a busy weekend of chorus performances when she actually was planning on asking a pushover teacher for an...

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Immature Teen Has Cursing Problems

Posted on 1/18/2017

We have an immature 16-year-old with a potty mouth. This son of ours has mental delays as well. Strikes us as closer to 12 or so mentally. We have ten children, some adopted with handicaps. This...

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Teaching motivation.

Posted on 1/18/2017

My 16 year old son has struggled with learning disabilities throughout his academic career. Despite years of private tutoring, homeschooling, and 4 years at a private school specifically for...

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Teaching Teen Money Management

Posted on 1/12/2017

Our teenaged daughter is a hard worker and is great about saving her money. But she is about to blow it all on an exorbitantly priced prom dress to the tune of $500. As parents we feel it is our...

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Illicit teen boy sleepovers

Posted on 1/4/2017

What is your opinion on "sleepovers" for teenage boys? My son is a good kid but has chosen a friend group that is experimenting with alcohol and pot...Good kids with good parents, but wanting to...

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OTC Drug Tests

Posted on 1/3/2017

I found out that my 16 year old son has been smoking pot regularly. Based on John's recommendation, we are considering in home drug testing but I have a few concerns. Question... do OTC drug...

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16 year old Bad Time Manager

Posted on 12/29/2016

I need help regarding the evening routine for my 16 year old daughter, after getting home from her sport, which is usually 5 pm, during the week. She has ADHD and says she needs to decompress...

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16 year old Arguments

Posted on 12/29/2016

My 16 yo daughter will not talk to me when I approach her about an observation I have, a concern re: missed homework or grades. She shuts down immediately, says she doesn't want to talk about...

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16 year old Always Gets Her Way

Posted on 12/29/2016

How do I respond to my strong willed 16 yo dtr, who won't take no for an answer. Just today, I told her she could go to a friends for dinner after her drivers ed class today. But it is snowing...

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Is it the divorce or parenting?

Posted on 12/29/2016

I believe my 16 yo daughter needs to see a therapist. Recently divorced, we split we she was 13. She never really processed the divorce. She keeps everything inside. Very stoic, says she is...

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