"A father's contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother. "

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What to do when Mom is human and makes a mistake.

Posted 6 days ago

What is the best way to recover after making a mistake? For instance, if 3 children are very close in age, and you punish the wrong child for something you later find out their sibling had done.

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Pooping "Beacuse I Want To"

Posted on 5/21/2020

My very bright 3.5 year old has been potty training for over a year--it's not that he doesn't get it (he got the pooping pretty quickly within a month) but it's about control. He's very spirited,...

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Three Snaps & out of the Spotlight

Posted on 5/20/2020

I have a just-turned 3-year-old son. He has a problem with needing constant attention. My husband and I routinely engage in our own activities around our son, and he can entertain himself well, so...

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The Frustration of Regression

Posted on 5/19/2020

Our daughter will be three next month. She has been doing great with potty training until recently. Our one year old just learned to walk so we’ve been praising him a lot more and he’s been...

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Wind Fear

Posted on 5/17/2020

Our 3and 1/2 year old is terrified of the wind and refuses to go outside. We have tried logic. Occasionally we get her outside and if she sees a lizard or cool bug she will be delighted and have...

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Conquering a Three-Year Old Quarantine Quagmire

Posted on 5/5/2020

my son is 3 yr and 3 month old,he was very careful and neat. recently he started to get very aggressive especially during the quarantine in the house. He has been staying home for a month now. He...

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Playing with Toy Guns- Keep It Simple

Posted on 5/2/2020

My son has taken an interest in gun play. He likes making guns with blocks of lego and sticks and playing with his nerf gun. I want him to enjoy this play but in a way that is fun and healthy,...

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Oh, Those Rebellious Threes!

Posted on 4/19/2020

Hello, my son just turned three two weeks ago. Almost the same time that his behaviors started to escalate with screaming, saying no when instructed to do things, and just outright rebellious. I...

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Potty Training Regression and Coronavirus

Posted on 3/31/2020

My 3 year old potty trained very fast right after his 3rd birthday. He has not had a problem being dry overnight, so we have always just used underwear. He’s been potty trained 3 months. Because...

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Same bedtime for the children

Posted on 3/22/2020

Our 4 year old, and 20 month year old boys share a room. We want to do the 5 minute check in with our 20 month old to get him to sleep in his crib, and not in our bed. However, the 4 year old...

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Alpha speech and consistency

Posted on 3/2/2020

We’ve had an overall improvement in our kids (boys ages 3 and 5) since starting the ticket system and changing the way we talk to them. Transition points are still incredibly difficult. For...

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3 years old doesn't pay attetion to stories.

Posted on 2/18/2020

My 3 year old has always had difficulty listening to stories. I know how terribly important it is to read to children daily so I keep reading, but he’s not paying attention. Is he still getting...

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Teaching 3 year old to listen the first time.

Posted on 2/9/2020

Is the targeted behavior (for the ticket system) “Refusing to do what we tell you to do” too general for 3.25 year old twins? We want to stomp out their habit of giving us push back/delaying/...

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Ticket system for twins sharing a room.

Posted on 2/1/2020

We are starting the ticket system with our 3 1/2 year old boy/girl twins. They share a room & are still in cribs (they could climb out but haven’t tried/wanted to yet). How do we go about putting...

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"Note to self"

Posted on 1/31/2020

I recently showed my 3 year old daughter a video of me nursing her when she was a baby. What I thought would be a sweet moment of her watching herself bonding with me as a baby didn't exactly...

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3 year old needs more time to adjust to playing at preschool

Posted on 1/13/2020

Hi! I have spoken with a coach via email, and was happy with the response. I recently spoke with my recently turned 3 year old son’s teachers, and had a chance to sit in on one of his church child...

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Aversion to potty

Posted on 1/10/2020

My son is 3.25 years old. We started toilet training a week ago and he has done well with the potty part, but he’s having issues with pooping on his potty chair. He did it just fine a couple...

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The Age-Gap Triplicate

Posted on 1/1/2020

My kids (11-girl, 10-girl, 3-boy) were driving me crazy with all the squabbling. Especially as the 3 year old gets older. All 3 kids are on the ticket system. I’ve read a lot of the q & a on here...

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Table Manners for Toddlers

Posted on 12/18/2019

What is the best process for teaching 2-year-olds to use eating utensils? They enjoy feeding themselves, but ignore their spoons and just dig in and eat with their hands. I have showed...

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Ending the Food Battle

Posted on 12/17/2019

We are having many battles over food in our house. We have boys ages five, three, and one. The older boys go to preschool and are usually going without an adequate breakfast. They are offered food...

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Shorten bedtime routine

Posted on 12/2/2019

Hello, I have two daughters - an almost 3 year old and a 6 year old. i am married to an airline pilot who needs to regularly be out of town for 4-5 days a week. We make it through the days pretty...

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Being in charge means...

Posted on 11/9/2019

How do you recommend dealing with whining and bad attitudes? We we using the ticket system with our 5 year old and it is helping with bigger bad behaviors. We are working to use Alpha speech and...

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Forcing a Preschooler to Nap

Posted on 11/8/2019

I am fortunate enough to work at a place that offers an onsite daycare. My 3 year old son goes to that daycare and has since he was 1. They are montessori and he has changes rooms as he has...

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Challenges of Ticket System for Mother of Four

Posted on 11/7/2019

Our oldest 4 children, ages 10, 8, 6, and 5, are all on the tickets system. They each start the day with 5 tickets. The first three tickets lost are "free", the 4th ticket costs them the...

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Navigating the Bedtime War Zone

Posted on 11/6/2019

When my daughter was 13 months old I decided to go back to work so we slept trained her. It took about 2-3 nights and she was sleeping through the night. A year later she started waking up...

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Resist excuses to wander at bedtime.

Posted on 10/22/2019

Our three and five-year-old boys who share a room started coming into our room at night. They usually say they are scared, or hungry. We have a 10-month-old who is newly adopted and not sleeping...

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Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

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Tickets for 3 year olds?

Posted on 10/17/2019

We started the ticket system with our three and 5 year old boys about two months ago. I feel like our 3 year old may be too young for it. The afternoons are particularly rough because he has...

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Church Expectations

Posted on 10/6/2019

This is a question about age-appropriate expectations in Church. We have 6 children ages 10, 8, 6, 5, 3, and 1. I have told the older kids that, unless you are a baby or a toddler - which they...

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Sibling Rivalry Not Improving

Posted on 9/22/2019

Hello! Our daughter (26 months) has been hitting, scratching, biting etc her sister (almost 4.5 years old). At first we told her a firm no but now the incidents have increased and we put her in...

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3 y/o and 1 y/o siblings learning to play together

Posted on 9/18/2019

My son is 3 years old and my daughter is 1 year old. My son is really good about playing by himself and lining up his cars when he plays; however, my daughter really likes to bug him. She...

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Dinner Time Battle of the Wills

Posted on 9/16/2019

My 3 year old daughter has developed a bad habit at dinner time. Although she’s usually pretty good to try new foods, every now and then she will - for some unknown reason - hold a bite of food in...

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3 y/o Drama Queen

Posted on 9/5/2019

Every time we have to say goodbye to my 3 year old's friend, she cries like it's the end of the world and has a fit... We go on nightly walks with them and I have stopped because I do not want to...

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Wrestle Mania

Posted on 9/3/2019

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

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Benefits of Boredom

Posted on 8/22/2019

Is boredom good or bad for toddlers? I've read differing opinions. I'm referring to free, unstructured, tv-free time in a yard or playroom setting. Some have said it leaves them...

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Beware of TMI

Posted on 8/21/2019

How would you answer a 3 year old grandson when he ask where his mommy is, when mommy walked away 5 months ago and we dont know if or when she will come back into the picture. Child lives in a...

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Concerns About Child's Adjustment to New Sibling

Posted on 8/21/2019

Our 3-year-old daughter has a brother coming early January. I am pretty nervous about how she will react and if I have what it takes to continue to make her feel secure. My brother came when I was...

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Wild Child

Posted on 8/17/2019

We recently started he ticket system with our 3 and 5 year old children. It has worked well with our 5 year old but our three year old has lost all his tickets multiple times. Often, the loss of...

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Clarification on N75

Posted on 7/25/2019

I've recently started potty training my daughter (we're on day 2) who will be 3 in September. We are using the N75 method, but I needed some clarification on a few things. We set a timer and sit...

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When only one child misbehaves should the other kids have to miss out?

Posted on 7/24/2019

We live in an apartment. During the working days I am at work all day long. We have three girls: 6-year old, 4-year old and 3-month old baby. The two older kids have been adopted three years ago...

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The Great Outdoors

Posted on 7/22/2019

First of all, thank for all the previous advice I've been given. It has all been helpful. This may be a silly question, but I was wondering what is an appropriate age to send my kids outside to...

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Focus on the How Rather than the Why

Posted on 7/14/2019

My (almost) 3 year old girl has been potty trained for 8 months. She wears underwear during the day and a pull up at night. For the past 2-3 days she has been having frequent pee and poop...

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Trouble with Transitions at Preschool

Posted on 7/10/2019

A follow up to my previous question... we have had several informal conferences with the director of my 3 y/o son’s preschool. It seems like everything is fine until he is asked to do something...

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Adjusting to Preschool Can Be Tough

Posted on 7/4/2019

My almost 3-year-old son has been attending the same Montessori-based preschool for the past year. 90-95% of the AM drop-offs have been difficult for him resulting in a meltdown. His teacher...

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Tips for Taming Automatic Flusher Fears

Posted on 6/4/2019

Hello, we are very grateful to have our 3 year old well potty trained. Unfortunately, we have run into a little problem. He is deathly terrified of automatic flush toilets. He will cry, scream,...

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I'm Not Your Friend

Posted on 6/3/2019

My four year old has been telling her younger sister who is three that she will not play with her, be her best friend, etc. if she doesn’t play the way she wants or gives her the toy she is...

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Following the Leader

Posted on 5/21/2019

My girls, ages 6,5 and 3, prefer to follow me around during their free time. They just like to watch what I’m doing and talk and sometimes be involved in what I’m doing. I wonder if I should send...

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Creating Opportunities for Freedom!

Posted on 5/5/2019

Regarding your article "Freedom lost on the children of today" I am inspired by the moms of the last generation - my parents, too, experienced a similar kind of thing growing up. Running around,...

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3 Year Old Delaying Bedtime with Potty Breaks

Posted on 4/25/2019

Hello, my three year old has always slept well through the night and became potty trained pretty quickly. Unfortunately, until recently, he asks to use the restroom 2-3 times a night. He refuses...

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