"A child who has learned to pay attention to parents will go to school prepared to pay attention to teachers. "


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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Establishing Routines

Posted on 10/22/2019

Would you be able to give me a sample routine of what a day should look like for a family in my situation: I have twin toddlers (2 years old) with a speech delay. I'm a SAHM who is learning how...

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Encouraging Friendships

Posted on 8/26/2019

We have recently moved from US to Singapore for 3 years with my husband’s job. My 11 and 5 year old have made lots of friends and are settling in. My 9 year old son is happy to go to school and...

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When only one child misbehaves should the other kids have to miss out?

Posted on 7/24/2019

We live in an apartment. During the working days I am at work all day long. We have three girls: 6-year old, 4-year old and 3-month old baby. The two older kids have been adopted three years ago...

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Well-Rounded Son

Posted on 5/30/2019

My 9 year-old son loves to read. He enjoys basketball and baseball. Should I encourage him to try other hobbies or instruments that involve doing things with his hands? If so, how?

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Hop off the Argument Merry Go Round

Posted on 5/5/2019

Hi there, My almost 5-year-old has come a long way from his 3-year-old self. I suppose maturity helps. He's no longer throwing tantrums (a.k.a crying loudly) or hitting when he doesn't get his...

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Time Management for Busy Moms

Posted on 4/19/2019

For a stay-at-home mom who is having difficulty with time management, what is a good balance between housekeeping/cooking duties, working from home, spending time with husband, and spending time...

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Growing as a Goalie and Growing in Life

Posted on 4/8/2019

My 11 year old son has been playing soccer for 7 years. He has had great success in his position and is well liked by his coaches & teammates. Recently he’s been told he will likely be moved up...

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5 year old loves/hates martial arts class

Posted on 3/23/2019

My 5.5 year old son gets really angry before going to his martial arts class, which he loves. In the past 2 weeks he has thrown huge fits, soaked his uniform in the sink (he had to go to class...

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How much is enough?

Posted on 3/8/2019

I am wondering what you would say would normally expect to be included for a schedule for a 3 year old staying at home. I have my older 2 in school for parts of the day, and I have my younger...

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Flowers for V-D for wife and daughter?

Posted on 1/31/2019

I buy my wife flowers for Valentine's Day and I'd like to buy some for my daughter as well, as an annual tradition. Are there any concerns with that, such as putting her on the same level as my...

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Liberating the Playmate Dad

Posted on 1/11/2019

I read the column by Dinah Bucholz, Stop Paying Attention to Your Kids. I'm struggling because this is my downfall. My daughter wants me to play with her constantly. I have an overwhelming sense...

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Too many toys overwhelm Mom of 2 and 4 year old

Posted on 12/31/2018

We have toys and stuff animal overload. From the year and now Christmas has put us over the top! I have a two year old and four year old. Do I include them in the decluttering process? How do you...

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Mom frustrated with resistant 13-year-old daughter

Posted on 12/14/2018

My 13 year old daughter has always had an issue with team sports .She is having self esteem issues and wants to lose weight .She participates in horse riding once a week as the distance is usually...

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Find aFriend for college student

Posted on 8/9/2018

What is your opinion about phone apps like "Find My Friends" that allows parents to know their children's location? I had never heard of this but when my oldest left to college, she introduced me...

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Okay to Throw the Game Plan out the Window?

Posted on 7/8/2018

My husband is a sports nut....I am NOT. To his credit, he sees the insanity kids' sports has become and tends to be very level headed about things. Our 11 year old son plays rec (not the super...

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Attention-Seeking Behavior Disguised as Lack of Confidence

Posted on 6/12/2018

My 8 yr old son is hard on himself and can be quite stubborn. It's a crazy mix of attributes that my husband and I are having a hard time navigating. If he misses 1 spelling word, he shuts...

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No interest in extracurricular activities.

Posted on 6/9/2018

My 11 year old son does not want to participate in any extra curricular activities. He wants to attend school and that is all. I have tried to get him interested in sports, but he starts crying...

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Let Son Choose His Own Extracurricular Activities

Posted on 5/1/2018

My son is a great student and a talented athlete. He is in 8th grade and during middle school I made him play soccer, take band, run track and just this past year he decided (on his own!!) to try...

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The Extracurricular Activities Freight Train

Posted on 4/17/2018

I'm trying to put a slow down on the extracurricular activities by asking them to choose one or two. How much input should they be allowed in deciding which ones? For example, I think they need...

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Costly behavior

Posted on 2/28/2018

My 9yo son has broken household items in fits of anger over the years. Most recently a kitchen chair that he threw and a window that he punched. We have kicked him out of the garden and he has...

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4.5 year old reluctant about dance class

Posted on 12/10/2017

My daughter is 4.5 years old and has been taking dance lessons for about 3 months (once a week for an hour). So far, she's loved it and always looks forward to the next class. She has never said...

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Lower the Boom on 18 year old son

Posted on 10/1/2017

My son has just turned 18 and is a senior in high school. He had his first job this summer doing construction work with some people we know. He did well getting up early and they said that he...

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Six year old girl needs to play!

Posted on 8/23/2017

I am having trouble balancing my 6 year old's responsibilities at home. She started school this year (prep) - the year before grade 1. She's at school from 8:30am - 3pm. By the time we arrive...

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How to decide on extracurriculars for 7 & 8 yo

Posted on 7/29/2017

We want to start preparing for the school year and get a game plan for our family. Couple of questions...what are your thoughts about extra curricular activities? We have fought the battle of...

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Appropriate After School Schedule

Posted on 7/29/2017

What is an appropriate afterschool game plan for a 1st grader and 3rd grader? Can you give me some advice on how to handle homework, chores, and bedtime for this age? What type of expectations...

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Entertaining mom can choose a different path.

Posted on 5/22/2017

For the last seven years, I have been in the mode of entertaining my kids. I have spent my time creating activities, planning playdates and going to events. I enjoyed it and I thought I was...

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Son Obsessed with Pokemon

Posted on 5/17/2017

Hello! Our son is obsessed! Obsessed with one thing at a time to the point of not completing school work to do it. Right now it's Pokemon. He has a screen time limit - one 30 min show after...

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5 y/o son "hates" soccer

Posted on 10/22/2016

My husband enrolled our just-turned 5 year old son in fall soccer. I know John's stance on organized sports, but husband really wanted to do this. Anyway, as it turns out, son hates it. I am...

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Four year old reluctant to learn

Posted on 6/26/2016

Our four year old daughter is usually confident and independent. However, she tends to shut down and give very little effort when we try to teach her big new skills, like riding a bike or...

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6 yr. old cries going to camp

Posted on 6/15/2016

I have a six year old son who is going to a local day camp this week. He knows a few other children there. He chose to go, but has been hesitant since the camp started. Each day is getting...

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Swimming lessions.

Posted on 6/9/2016

My son is now 4.5 years old. It is a priority to me that he learns how to swim for safety reasons. We had him in lessons for about 6 months when he was 2, and most of the time he liked it. There...

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Disrespect in front of friends...

Posted on 4/25/2016

My 10 year old daughter is disrespectful to me whenever she has friends over. Unless I remind her to treat me properly before her friends come over, she almost always finds a way to be...

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How Much is Too Much Extracurricular Activities?

Posted on 3/9/2016

Is 3 hours of one sport once a week too much for a 7 (almost 8) year old? This sport meets from 6-9 pm (there are additional practices child does not always make it to due to other obligations. ...

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To Trick/Treat or Not

Posted on 10/27/2015

My husband and I are having difficulty knowing how to handle a oroblem. We don't believe we as Christians should celebrate Halloween. Our three and a half year old grandson has seen the teachers...

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Missing out on Extracurricular Activities

Posted on 10/15/2015

I thought that you said when they are grounded to their room for the day that it meant no extracurricular activities either, i.e. soccer practice, dance, piano lessons, etc. We don't force our...

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15 yo Allow to Quit Boy Scouts?

Posted on 9/9/2015

Please help! My son is 15 and wants to quit Boy Scouts. My husband and I have tried to encourage him to stay with it. I feel Scouts is a great way to learn life skills and character building...

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Social Life of a 2 Year Old

Posted on 6/5/2015

Our 2.5 yo daughter is an only child but extremely mature, talkative and social. She loves other kids and is dying to go to school. We go to story time at the library, but other than that we...

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5 year old and extra curricular activity

Posted on 1/26/2015

I have a 5 year old (she will be 6 in May). She is currently in kindergarten. She is an only child but plays very well by herself in the house. She has been that way since a very young age. ...

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Night Music

Posted on 1/24/2015

My wife and I are struggling a bit to be on the same page in the management of our almost 15 yr old daughter. She doesn't have a phone or tablet, although I let her use mine for supervised...

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Wayward College Kid

Posted on 10/27/2014

Our 19yo daughter is sophomore in college at an expensive school in a very distant state. We pay all expenses, as well as rent, cell phone, utilities. She has a small loan. She was awarded an...

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Asking Too Much

Posted on 10/17/2014

John (please-this is about MUSIC). 15 year old boy. Good: great grades, liked by teachers, talented musically. Bad news: school band says band is their life and "money should not be an issue", so...

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4 yo Quality Time

Posted on 7/14/2014

My 4 year old daughter can play contently in her room for at least 1 hour. I've followed your advice about limiting TV and electronics. She has plenty of good old fashion toys: books, puzzles,...

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Gotta Swim!

Posted on 7/2/2014

Our son will be 5 in a couple months, and he's the oldest of three siblings. He's typically very cautious and a thinker. Recently he and his 3 year old sister started swimming lessons. He's OK...

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Take a Break from Karate for Pre-Kindergartener

Posted on 5/24/2014

My son has been a karate student for a year now. When he was 4 the class length for his age range was 30 minutes. Now that he is 5 he has entered a new level and the class runs for 60 minutes. ...

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13-yr old displays poor sportsmanship--part 2

Posted on 4/13/2014

Thank you for responding so quickly to a weekend question.... after further investigation, we have learned more details concerning the poor sportsmanship/pushing issue. I didn't witness the...

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Teen boy has no interests but...you guessed it...VIDEO GAMES!!!

Posted on 3/2/2014

My 14 y/o son is selecting classes for high school. He plays the drums but is refusing to be involved in band. He doesn't have a reason but I'm betting it's just not cool He is not involved in...

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7 year old center of mom/dad religious controversy

Posted on 2/11/2014

I am a practicing Catholic, and am trying to raise my children Catholic. My husband is not, and although he agreed to raising children Catholic when we got engaged, he has not been supportive in...

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