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Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Behavior Modification, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Silly in school and aggressive at home

Posted on 2/16/2023

Hello- my son is six years old and in the first grade. With his birthday he’s a little younger for the grade but seems very immature. He makes weird noises in class and tries to be silly when most...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), School Issues, Tantrums

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Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Tantrums

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6 yr old fits

Posted on 1/4/2023

My daughter is 6 years old. When her father and I speak to her about her behaviour she interrupts us by saying "I know, I know, I know". She is constantly talking back! she's hit me before and I...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Respect, Tantrums

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Does Chicken Little Make You a Little Chicken? A Four-Year Old's Tantrumizing

Posted on 12/29/2022

Constant power struggle with 4-year old. Our 4 year old son’s behavior has done a complete 180 within the last couple of weeks only at home. Preschool and daycare is constantly telling us he’s...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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Fears, Five Year Olds, and the Doctor

Posted on 12/12/2022

My daughter, age 5 1/2 recently started acting irrational. She refuses to get in the car and will unbuckle herself and jump out. This behavior started a week ago when she refused to sleep in her...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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TYPICAL TODDLER BEHAVIOR, JUST A LOT OF IT

Posted on 11/16/2022

Update: The previous issue I wrote about where my toddler held his pee for hours and refused to go potty seems to have improved following some antibiotics given prophetically. However, other...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents, Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families, Tantrums

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Raising Believers

Posted on 8/30/2022

We just started the ticket system and we have one target misbehavior for our 4 year old. Following directions. For example, when he loses a ticket because he doesn’t listen when we ask him to...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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Two-Year-Old’s Love for Tantrums

Posted on 8/17/2022

My 2 year old son loves to throw a good tantrum when we leave an activity that he was previously enjoying. The tantrum does not usually set in until we try to strap him into his car seat, however....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums

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2 YEAR OLD TOO STRONG FOR MOM

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 2-year-old that refuses to listen and his favorite answer is no. For example, just this morning I was trying to get him ready to go to daycare and I asked him to sit down so I could...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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5-Year-Old Is Sore Loser of Titanic Proportion!

Posted on 6/20/2022

My 5 year old son is a terribly sore loser. Everytime he loses he either sobs uncontrollably or stomps of fuming mad. He is the oldest of 4 siblings (in case that is relevant). My husband and I...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Tantrums

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Good Cop Bad Cop

Posted on 6/6/2022

Ongoing tiff with Husband. Example scenario: 3 1/2 year old daughter is harassing 1 1/2 year old daughter and is put in timeout in her room. Every time she's in timeout she's screaming and losing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Sibling Conflict, Tantrums

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The Terrible Threes: Taking a Powder with the Doctor

Posted on 5/25/2022

Threenagers worse than the terrible twos? My 3.5 yr old daughter is very disrespectful toward myself and my husband. She's frequently whining, throwing tantrums, and during those tantrums...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Tantrums

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Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Lying, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Teenage Issues

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FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SCREEN ADDICT

Posted on 4/15/2022

Our 15-year-old threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without our...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Aggression, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Tantrums

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Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bullies/Bullying, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Tantrums

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18 month old Screams on the Potty

Posted on 1/5/2022

We are potty training our 18-month-old boy and are on day 5. The first day he screamed when I introduced him to the little potty, but slowly he was sometimes ok with sitting on it. My husband...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Toilet Training

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I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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Nip It. Nip It Good.

Posted on 11/17/2021

Hi ParentGuru, I have a question about our 5yr old son who has come home from prep (1st year of primary school here in Melbourne Australia) after an incident in which he threw another student's...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Tantrums

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Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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4 year old terrorist wearing out her family

Posted on 9/23/2021

Our 4 year old daughter has become a complete terrorist. She has always been difficult and challenging but it’s only getting worse by the day. We have always been strict parents and have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Respect, Spanking, Tantrums

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Bedtime and night waking potty breaks

Posted on 8/22/2021

28 month old daughter bedtime routine and waking at night. Our 3rd child, who is 28 months recently started climbing (and falling) out of her crib, so we moved her to a toddler bed a little...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Tantrums, Toilet Training

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The Doctor can Help!

Posted on 8/7/2021

My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

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Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Convert Nap Time to Quiet Time As Toddler Outgrows Naps

Posted on 7/17/2021

My just turned 2 year old toddler is refusing naps. She has been out of routine since the clocks have changed and as we have just moved and not been at home for nap times so I’ve let her sleep in...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Disobedience/Defiance, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Time for a Potty Training Reset

Posted on 4/13/2021

We are currently attempting to potty train our 21-month-old boy. It has been almost one month of training and we are having almost zero success with getting him to sit on the potty to pee or poop....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

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Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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She's a Screamer!

Posted on 3/9/2021

My two year old daughter has developed a habit of screaming. She scream when doesn’t get what she wants or her brother takes something from her. How do I address this misbehavior? I know she is...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Two year old screams while Mom is on the phone.

Posted on 3/9/2021

How do I get my two year old to not scream or ask questions while I’m on the phone?

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

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Toddler Fun

Posted on 1/26/2021

Advice for dealing with 16 month old toddler boy who is beginning to have tantrums and throw himself down when he doesn’t get his way. It it too early for a time out chair?

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Tantrums

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Intense anger and giving up

Posted on 1/12/2021

My 3 year old had open heart surgery last May - and we've been amazed at how quickly his development has skyrocketed since. I have previously just chalked this up to developmental delays resulting...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Tantrums

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Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bedtime/Sleep, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Toddler seems angered by the potty

Posted on 11/2/2020

Hi! We’ve been potty training for going on four months now. Daughter is 23 months. She has days where she goes accident free and then others where it’s 100% accident. The past few weeks she seems...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

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Patriotic Preoccupation: A Toddler's Flag Fixation

Posted on 10/28/2020

Our 28 month old is OBSESSED with American flags. This has lasted over a year. The flag has become a large issue many times throughout the day as his obsession spans isn’t only with the flag...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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The 2 Year Old's Battle to Dress Himself

Posted on 10/25/2020

My 2-year-old son wants to put on hat and gloves himself. I know this is a good normal part of development, but if the hat isn’t just right, it leads to a giant meltdown. I want to let him try...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Anxieties, Fears, Daycare/Preschool, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Rewards, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Toilet Training

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Toddler Tantrums and Disrespect

Posted on 7/23/2020

My three-year-old is extremely disrespectful, yells, "Noooooo!" says, "I can't," when told to clean up toys, and will kick and bang on the back of his bedroom door when placed in time out. I...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Tantrums

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Pre-Teen: A Lingering Fever

Posted on 3/24/2020

We are having some trouble with our 12 year old son. I can see how things have progressed and how we haven't quite followed the Rosemond plan. He is very rude with his sisters, he talks back a lot...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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6 Strikes in 1 At-bat

Posted on 3/15/2020

Hi John, my 9yr old daughter has taken to raising her voice, screaming, arguing, sarcasm and just downright disrespect when things aren't going her way. We have a target misbehavior chart and she...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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The Truth Is, 2-Year-Olds Have Tantrums

Posted on 2/11/2020

My 2 1/2-year-old daughter throws a tantrum while in public - not at home (or at least less severe at home). As an example, we spend time on Sunday mornings encouraging her to behave during Mass...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Too Much To-Do From a Toddler

Posted on 11/14/2019

My daughter is 21 months. She constantly wants me to hold her when we are home. I cannot keep it up. If I don’t hold her when she wants, she cries and cries. Help! What should I do? Also, she’s...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Mothers, Tantrums

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Toddler Tests the Limits

Posted on 11/13/2019

My son is 11 months old today. When I tell him not to touch something, he will almost immediately touch the item. When he does, i remove the item from his hand and tell him that he is not allowed...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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