Questions

The Grass Really Isn’t Greener on the Other Side

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 10-year-old daughter seems always to think the grass is greener somewhere else. For example, we homeschool, which she enjoys, but often expresses her wish to return to regular school, and when...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bill of Rights for Children, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Homeschooling, Manners, Tantrums

"Special Tantrum Place" for Tantrums

Posted on 2/28/2024

My son (21 months) is in full blown “terrible twos.” He does lots of throwing fits. When they happen he gets a swat on the bottom and has to sit in his bed until he will be sweet and say he’s...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Seasons of Parenting, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Disruptive Diner

Posted on 2/21/2024

Our youngest child is 5 and was adopted as an infant (not a newborn). He has strong food preferences. Our other boys (biological) eat well; they can be picky at times, but we don't fix special...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Manners, Mealtime/Eating, Tantrums

Strut and Fret your Hour upon the Stage--when dealing with a 5-year old NAG

Posted on 12/3/2023

When my son (5) gets sent to his room for time out, he goes into his room and begins throwing demonic-style tantrums. He hits the door and screams at the top of his lungs. When he’s done, he comes...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Tantrums

Cutting the apron strings 3yo

Posted on 11/5/2023

Our daughter is an only child, and I am a stay at home wife. She turned three in June and we are starting to have some difficulties separating her from our interactions as husband and wife during...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Only Children, Play, Respect, Seasons of Parenting, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

PRIVATE COACHING IS SOMETIMES THE WAY TO GO

Posted on 7/29/2023

Our middle son, age 7, has been a challenge since he was a baby. We met a few years ago with a John Rosemond Parent coach about him and it was helpful, but we still have some areas where we...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Tantrums

Oh, Those Terrible Twos!

Posted on 6/10/2023

I have a daughter (2 years old) and a son (1 year old). They love each other and generally play together well. But recently my daughter has started shoving, hitting, pushing, and biting her...

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Behavior Modification, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Silly in school and aggressive at home

Posted on 2/16/2023

Hello- my son is six years old and in the first grade. With his birthday he’s a little younger for the grade but seems very immature. He makes weird noises in class and tries to be silly when most...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), School Issues, Tantrums

Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Tantrums

6 yr old fits

Posted on 1/4/2023

My daughter is 6 years old. When her father and I speak to her about her behaviour she interrupts us by saying "I know, I know, I know". She is constantly talking back! she's hit me before and I...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Respect, Tantrums

Does Chicken Little Make You a Little Chicken? A Four-Year Old's Tantrumizing

Posted on 12/29/2022

Constant power struggle with 4-year old. Our 4 year old son’s behavior has done a complete 180 within the last couple of weeks only at home. Preschool and daycare is constantly telling us he’s...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

Fears, Five Year Olds, and the Doctor

Posted on 12/12/2022

My daughter, age 5 1/2 recently started acting irrational. She refuses to get in the car and will unbuckle herself and jump out. This behavior started a week ago when she refused to sleep in her...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

TYPICAL TODDLER BEHAVIOR, JUST A LOT OF IT

Posted on 11/16/2022

Update: The previous issue I wrote about where my toddler held his pee for hours and refused to go potty seems to have improved following some antibiotics given prophetically. However, other...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Terrible Twos

10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents, Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families, Tantrums

Raising Believers

Posted on 8/30/2022

We just started the ticket system and we have one target misbehavior for our 4 year old. Following directions. For example, when he loses a ticket because he doesn’t listen when we ask him to...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

Two-Year-Old’s Love for Tantrums

Posted on 8/17/2022

My 2 year old son loves to throw a good tantrum when we leave an activity that he was previously enjoying. The tantrum does not usually set in until we try to strap him into his car seat, however....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums

2 YEAR OLD TOO STRONG FOR MOM

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 2-year-old that refuses to listen and his favorite answer is no. For example, just this morning I was trying to get him ready to go to daycare and I asked him to sit down so I could...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

5-Year-Old Is Sore Loser of Titanic Proportion!

Posted on 6/20/2022

My 5 year old son is a terribly sore loser. Everytime he loses he either sobs uncontrollably or stomps of fuming mad. He is the oldest of 4 siblings (in case that is relevant). My husband and I...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Tantrums

Good Cop Bad Cop

Posted on 6/6/2022

Ongoing tiff with Husband. Example scenario: 3 1/2 year old daughter is harassing 1 1/2 year old daughter and is put in timeout in her room. Every time she's in timeout she's screaming and losing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Sibling Conflict, Tantrums

The Terrible Threes: Taking a Powder with the Doctor

Posted on 5/25/2022

Threenagers worse than the terrible twos? My 3.5 yr old daughter is very disrespectful toward myself and my husband. She's frequently whining, throwing tantrums, and during those tantrums...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Tantrums

Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Lying, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Teenage Issues

FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SCREEN ADDICT

Posted on 4/15/2022

Our 15-year-old threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without our...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Aggression, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Tantrums

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bullies/Bullying, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Tantrums

18 month old Screams on the Potty

Posted on 1/5/2022

We are potty training our 18-month-old boy and are on day 5. The first day he screamed when I introduced him to the little potty, but slowly he was sometimes ok with sitting on it. My husband...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Toilet Training

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

Nip It. Nip It Good.

Posted on 11/17/2021

Hi ParentGuru, I have a question about our 5yr old son who has come home from prep (1st year of primary school here in Melbourne Australia) after an incident in which he threw another student's...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Tantrums

Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

4 year old terrorist wearing out her family

Posted on 9/23/2021

Our 4 year old daughter has become a complete terrorist. She has always been difficult and challenging but it’s only getting worse by the day. We have always been strict parents and have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Respect, Spanking, Tantrums

Bedtime and night waking potty breaks

Posted on 8/22/2021

28 month old daughter bedtime routine and waking at night. Our 3rd child, who is 28 months recently started climbing (and falling) out of her crib, so we moved her to a toddler bed a little...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Tantrums, Toilet Training

The Doctor can Help!

Posted on 8/7/2021

My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Convert Nap Time to Quiet Time As Toddler Outgrows Naps

Posted on 7/17/2021

My just turned 2 year old toddler is refusing naps. She has been out of routine since the clocks have changed and as we have just moved and not been at home for nap times so I’ve let her sleep in...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Disobedience/Defiance, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Time for a Potty Training Reset

Posted on 4/13/2021

We are currently attempting to potty train our 21-month-old boy. It has been almost one month of training and we are having almost zero success with getting him to sit on the potty to pee or poop....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

She's a Screamer!

Posted on 3/9/2021

My two year old daughter has developed a habit of screaming. She scream when doesn’t get what she wants or her brother takes something from her. How do I address this misbehavior? I know she is...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Two year old screams while Mom is on the phone.

Posted on 3/9/2021

How do I get my two year old to not scream or ask questions while I’m on the phone?

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

Toddler Fun

Posted on 1/26/2021

Advice for dealing with 16 month old toddler boy who is beginning to have tantrums and throw himself down when he doesn’t get his way. It it too early for a time out chair?

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Tantrums

Intense anger and giving up

Posted on 1/12/2021

My 3 year old had open heart surgery last May - and we've been amazed at how quickly his development has skyrocketed since. I have previously just chalked this up to developmental delays resulting...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Tantrums

Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bedtime/Sleep, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Toddler seems angered by the potty

Posted on 11/2/2020

Hi! We’ve been potty training for going on four months now. Daughter is 23 months. She has days where she goes accident free and then others where it’s 100% accident. The past few weeks she seems...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

Patriotic Preoccupation: A Toddler's Flag Fixation

Posted on 10/28/2020

Our 28 month old is OBSESSED with American flags. This has lasted over a year. The flag has become a large issue many times throughout the day as his obsession spans isn’t only with the flag...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Tantrums, Terrible Twos

The 2 Year Old's Battle to Dress Himself

Posted on 10/25/2020

My 2-year-old son wants to put on hat and gloves himself. I know this is a good normal part of development, but if the hat isn’t just right, it leads to a giant meltdown. I want to let him try...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Tantrums, Terrible Twos