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Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Father, High School, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Teenage Issues

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Should We Let Newborn "Cry It Out"?

Posted on 2/21/2022

We are new parents of a three-week old girl. As we've been reading the "New Parent Power!," we've been focusing on "Part 2," which gives guidance for the stages. For infants, it seems that John...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Father, Food/Eating Problems, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers

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Parent vs. Grandparent Relationships

Posted on 2/15/2022

My husband and I love the John Rosemond way of parenting. We set rules and expect our kids to follow them. When my parents come around, they completely baby them because they "feel bad" and think...

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Parent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child

Posted on 1/19/2022

This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years), Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Father, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Respect, Single Parents, Step-Families, Teenage Issues

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Importance of Presenting a United Parenting Front

Posted on 1/2/2022

This may be a complicated question: I have a question about my and my husband's parenting styles. I come from a conservative background, my parents were old school and traditional. Lots of...

Ages: No Specific Age, Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Marriage Issues, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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One Day at a Time

Posted on 1/2/2022

I have a 22-month old boy and a 2-month old little girl. My husband is with the state national guard and started his basic training a month or so ago, is now back for Christmas, and will go back...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Daycare/Preschool, Father, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Rocked His World

Posted on 12/15/2021

Hello. My husband and I have two kids, one 20-month old boy and one 2-month old girl. The younger one is an easy baby and the older one likes his baby sister (exhibited by kissing her all the...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Father, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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Time for A Garden Kick

Posted on 8/27/2021

We have our 12 year old son's phone locked for certain reasons. If his grades slip below a B we lock it so he can only call family, if he is disrespectful or doesn't complete his chores, his...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Father, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Teenage Issues

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Father, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Self-Esteem, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Teenage Issues

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Be the Mean Mum!

Posted on 4/11/2021

My 8 year old son has came back from spending the weekend with his dad and dad's family. He said I’m a strict mean mum because his 8 year old cousin has an iPhone, TikTok and YouTube channel...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Divorce/Custody, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents

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Setting Self Aside--A Teen's Family Obligation

Posted on 4/4/2021

My husband works out of town every other week. He is out of town for the Easter holiday. He does not have a relationship with my older son, who is living at home during this college semester. He...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, School Issues, Single Parents

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Encouraging Peace

Posted on 1/11/2021

My son is 19 and is living at home while attending college. His father has a narcissistic personality disorder. He lives and works in another state but travels home every other week. There is...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years), Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Father, Mothers, Teenage Issues

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Discipline Now, Get Along Later

Posted on 1/10/2021

My husband and our 4 year old daughter do not "get along" very well and today we found out we are having our 3rd child that is another girl! (We have one boy, and now two girls). Does John have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bedtime/Sleep, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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The Time for Tough Love is NOW

Posted on 10/31/2020

My son is 19 years old and has been graduated from high school for 1 1/2 years. His teen years were a struggle with almost not graduating, drug use and getting into trouble with the law. He no...

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Divorce/Custody, Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents, Teenage Issues

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Keep Delicate Conversations As Simple as Possible

Posted on 10/22/2020

Hello! I am wondering how, when the topic comes up, should I address same sex relationships with my kids (mainly my 8 year old son for now; I also have a 4 year old daughter). We are Catholic...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Manners, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Parenting a Disrespectful Teen with Divorced Parents

Posted on 10/10/2020

Almost two years ago my husband left (affair) and we are in a very difficult divorce. We are not friendly and don’t communicate other than texting. We have four children together and have 50/50...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Depression/Self-Harm, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Single Parents, Teenage Issues

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Entitled teen woes.

Posted on 8/29/2020

My daughter is 17, a good student, and active in extracurricular activities. Her teachers often say what a pleasure she is to have in their class. Her mother and I split almost two years ago and...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Father

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Explaining marital problems to a 4 year old.

Posted on 8/21/2020

About 5 days ago, my 4 year old son and I escaped a domestic violence situation. My husband is now in a behavioral health hospital for the unforeseen future and we have been staying at my dad’s...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Divorce/Custody, Father

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Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted on 7/23/2020

What if both parents in the home are not on the same page, can bad behavior be corrected?

Ages: No Specific Age

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Father, Manners, Marriage Issues, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Moms, Let Dad Be in Charge Too

Posted on 7/16/2020

My three year old son does not respect my husband's authority. If my husband attempts to do anything for/with him if my son is not in the mood, there are tantrums of epic proportions. He will also...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Father

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dad on very different page

Posted on 7/2/2020

Do you have any advice for a parent who is the primary disciplinarian in a 2-parent household? For example, after my daughter receives punishment from me for a misbehavior, her dad will often...

Ages: No Specific Age

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Father, Marriage Issues, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Encouraging an adult child to be dependent.

Posted on 4/25/2020

Hi and thank you. Adult daughter has her own car she paid and her own insurance she pays. Father still will not let her drive by herself. He takes her to work and picks her up. She drives her car...

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Father

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Co-Parenting precautions continued

Posted on 3/29/2020

My 7 year old son has picked up on some terrible slang while with his father. Everything is “banging mate” as one example. It sounds horrendous. How do I stop this?

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Divorce/Custody, Father, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Single Parents, Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, Homework, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, School Issues, Teenage Issues

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It Takes a Man to Teach a Boy to be a Man

Posted on 11/28/2019

I read John's June articles on fathering and see the pattern he sees all the time: grown-up sons who amount to nothing. I have 3 boys ages 9, 7, and 4 and want much better for them. There are...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Manners, Single Parents

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Father, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Teenage Issues

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17 YO Boy's Odd Behavior

Posted on 11/5/2019

17 year old grandson has hidden lady’s purses under bed or in a drawer. They are empty and he gets them from family homes(ones no one uses). Happened about 4 times with fairly long lengths of...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Divorce/Custody, Father, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted on 10/24/2019

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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End Micromanagement of Grades by Lowering the Boom

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have two sons (13 and 14 years old) and one step son (12 years old). They've gone to a Christian school their whole lives and are all saved. My issue is with my 13 year old. He is very smart as...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, Homework, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, School Issues, Spanking, Teenage Issues

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Be the Alpha Female

Posted on 10/10/2019

Our 5 yo son is very well-behaved at school (he just started kindergarten 6 weeks ago) but his behavior has worsened by extremes at home. Especially at bedtime, if I don't snuggle him in his bed...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Wrestle Mania

Posted on 9/3/2019

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Retreats with Dr. Rosemond

Posted on 8/30/2019

Will there be any parent retreats in 2020 on the east coast? We would be interested.

Ages: No Specific Age

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent, Father, Mothers

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A Strong Marriage is Your First Priority

Posted on 7/24/2019

This is the scinerao...we are sitting at the dinner table. My husband is reading "whatever the latest news is" on his phone. When our 6 yr. talks back to me or does not do what I have asked of...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Manners, Marriage Issues, Mealtime/Eating, Mothers

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Discipline is not Always Convenient

Posted on 6/6/2019

When our son hits, we send him to his room for the entire day. However, his hitting tends to happen towards dinner/bedtime so we sentence him to his room the next day. Inevitably, it falls on a...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Strike a Balance

Posted on 3/26/2019

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted on 3/12/2019

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Lowering the Boom

Posted on 3/1/2019

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, School Issues

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Higher Level Thinking Skills

Posted on 3/1/2019

My 7 year old son has a problem solving problem. Any task he performs can make him melt down. I am sure that when he was younger I would jump in and solve his problem, but I have been very...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Liberating the Playmate Dad

Posted on 1/11/2019

I read the column by Dinah Bucholz, Stop Paying Attention to Your Kids. I'm struggling because this is my downfall. My daughter wants me to play with her constantly. I have an overwhelming sense...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, Only Children, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Emancipation is never easy

Posted on 12/29/2018

I am divorced and remarried for 16 years. My ex cheated on me multiple times. Since our divorce which was a 3rd marriage he has been married 3x since. His most recent wife is 30 years his jr and a...

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Divorce/Custody, Father

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Preferences at 17 months.

Posted on 12/13/2018

My 17 month old daughter sometimes doesn’t let my husband hold her and last night when I was snuggling her on the couch and my husband laid down next to me she started trying to hit him and push...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Father

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Dad's Not on Board

Posted on 11/4/2018

Hi there, Susan Morley recently answered a question I posed concerning my son who has been caught with vape materials. She recommended strict consequences which I want to impose. His father,...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Father, Lying, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Teenage Issues

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4 YO Boy Says He is a Girl

Posted on 8/29/2018

Our 4 year old son has recently been saying he is a girl. This began shortly after watching several episodes of Dora the Explorer. All of his siblings are older and don’t live at home. He is...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Father

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18m & 6 yrs Daughters Dealing with Dad's Death

Posted on 8/26/2018

Does John have any writings on children dealing with the death of a parent? My 37yo husband suffered a heart attack and passed away while we were on a family vacation last month (totally...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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What a healthy marriage looks like to a child

Posted on 7/7/2018

Dr. Rosemond, Could you please describe the qualities of a husband and wife marriage that increases a child’s respect for adult authority, and the most common pitfalls of marriage that erodes a...

Ages: No Specific Age

Topics: Father, Marriage Issues, Mothers

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Husband and 19 yr old step son have no relationship

Posted on 6/4/2018

My husband and 19 year old son seem to have absolutely no relationship. (My husband adopted my kids) I’ve been urging them for years to go do stuff together, whatever. 2 weeks ago, our counselor...

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent, Father, Marriage Issues, Mothers, Step-Families

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