"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

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Solitary confinement

Posted 2 days ago

What do I do when I kick my kids (6, 5, and 4) out of the garden and the LIKE it!! All three of my girls are upstairs in their room laughing and jumping on their beds. I took their bed frames...

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An 11-year old Queen?

Posted 4 days ago

I home school our 11 year old daughter. She refuses to do any work if she does not feel like it. I will send her to her room and she will not go. I inform her that there will be a consequence if...

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Teens and Supplements

Posted 1 week ago

I am really enjoying John's book, Teen Proofing! Thanks, John! We have a brand new 12-year-old boy who has switched over from being kind, thoughtful, and sweet to being disrespectful,...

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13 yo Not Responding to Effective Discipline

Posted 1 week ago

13 year old daughter seems to not care about anything at all. we have grounded her according to John's book, we have done "tickets", she is extremely moody, mean and nasty to family and calls her...

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12 year old yelling regarding punishments

Posted 3 weeks ago

This is a follow up to the question on 10-17-17 concerning "yelling" from our 12 yr. old. I have thought over your response and realize my question was rushed and unclear. We have all the...

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Teens and driving.

Posted 3 weeks ago

We told our 16 1/2 year old son that he must maintain a C-average and have no major behavioral violations for 3 months in order to obtain his driver's license. He does online schooling at home...

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Mom was right to override tickets

Posted on 1/24/2018

HI there, Thank you for your prompt responses on my questions including taking back control and being a parent-centred family. The children have misbehaved so much (during the holidays) that I...

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Pincher

Posted on 1/22/2018

My one year old has a new love for pinching. She looks me square in the eyes, pinches me, and grunts. Then she waits for a response. I’ve tried time out with pillow in between us calmly telling...

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Expelled from K5?

Posted on 1/17/2018

My now six year old son is again suspended from kindergarten. This time for saying bathroom words in class thinking it was funny.. They were not amused. We are waiting to see if he will be...

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Ticket System Questions

Posted on 1/12/2018

We are using the ticket system with our four year old son. Right now we are working on him being obedient and doing what we say to do when we say to do it. We run into problems when there is a...

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Parental Rights and Decisions

Posted on 1/8/2018

I had a big fight with my daughter, she snapped and started hitting me. My husband, who's her stepdad, was trying to stop her by grabbing her hands and pulling her away. I called the police...

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Nanny Won't Help with Eating Issue

Posted on 1/7/2018

In November I asked about my three old not eating well and my husband and I told her and enforces that if she didn’t eat it meant she wasn’t getting good sleep and her doctor said she must go...

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Pre-Schooler Stuck in Season 1

Posted on 1/1/2018

Hi there, i have a little 3.5 year old who is completely out of control. I admit we have let him run the house a little bit as he is a little spitfire and makes things unpleasant(ie screams as...

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Disrespect from a 13 y/o boy

Posted on 12/29/2017

My 13 yr old son is disrespectful to his Dad! My son knows how to push his buttons to the point my husband says hurtful words like "you're a bad human" and loses control and starts to yell. I do...

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Punishment for all?

Posted on 12/22/2017

I have a question about do not disturb the family peace. I want to start this with my 2 boys age 11 and 12 because they are always fighting. My 8 year old daughter generally stays out of all...

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Teen Misuses Cell Phone Privileges

Posted on 12/14/2017

I recently found a nude picture of a boy on my 15 year old daughter's phone and one of her chest. I assume they are exchanging pictures. I am horrified and am thinking of the best consequence to...

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3 yr old's behavior gets worse

Posted on 12/14/2017

So we've been doing this, sending him to bed early every night, and it almost seems like that's making it worse? The teacher is reporting more dirt eating than usual and he gets in the car after...

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Time Out With Tickets?

Posted on 11/28/2017

We just started the ticket system with our three-year-old and five-year-old. We have done this with our five-year-old in the past and we appreciate how it works and how effective it can be....

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Toddlers Don't want to Stay in their Rooms

Posted on 11/25/2017

I am having a problem with keeping my 2 year old and 3 year old in their rooms when they are isolated from the family with misbehavior. Is it appropriate to gate this age? My husband and I are...

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Kicked Out of the Garden... Now What?

Posted on 11/14/2017

Dear John, 14 yr girl. Generally respectful and responsible and obedient. However, long history of deception and manipulation. Homeschooler who is presently kicked out of garden for numerous...

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Five year old uncooperative, and more

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am a preschool principal, I have a 5 year-old child who has problems. He has been with us since he was 4 (we have used many ways to discipline him but it doesn't work). He is able to...

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Follow up about Disobedient 5 y/o

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am referring to my previous question about a 5 years old student in my preschool. The boy is not my son. I don't think that he has ADHD or Autism. When I spoke to the mother, she told me that...

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Daily Report

Posted on 11/12/2017

Our 9 year old son has been doing a daily report with his teacher for most of the school year. Last week my husband and I went on a week trip and the kids stayed at our home with their...

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4 year old girl sticking out her tongue

Posted on 11/11/2017

My four year old daughter has recently started sticking her tongue out at her Dad and me. If we tell her to stop she does it more. The underlying sentiment is disrespectful, not silliness. Is this...

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Create Daily Reports with Meaningful Consequences

Posted on 11/7/2017

My 10-year-old son, who is in fifth grade, is having some trouble at school. At this parent-teacher conference, his teacher expressed he is too talkative, rushing his work, and has poor...

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Disrespectful , Thieving Teen

Posted on 10/24/2017

I am a Mom of 4 kids ages 15 girl, 13 boy, 10 girl, 8 boy. My oldest, at around age 9 stared eye rolling and disrespectful behaviors & it has only gotten worse. I limit electronics/TV/social...

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3 year old boy should keep his lovie

Posted on 10/15/2017

I have read "The Well Behaved Child" and I have been implementing the ticket system for three days with my three year old son. Today he lost all of his tickets after a complete melt-down at...

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Appropriate Punishment for a Toddler

Posted on 10/11/2017

What is an appropriate way to punish a 17 month old for being bad (i.e. deliberately disobeying when I tell him not to do something) is time out appropriate for this age? If it is how do I even...

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Little Meanie

Posted on 10/6/2017

Both sets of my 3 year old's grandparents live out of state. When they come to visit they typically stay for several days at our home. Last time his grandmother was in town my son sternly told her...

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The Phone is Not the Problem

Posted on 10/4/2017

So, in response to the answer to my question I have a few other questions. In the past few days a lot has transpired and my husband and I really had it out over my son. I understand a lot of his...

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Bedtime Horseplay

Posted on 10/4/2017

I have twin 9 year olds and a 6 year old girl that share a bed room. A few years ago when the 6 year old had her own room she pretty much went to bed as told with the exception of getting up a few...

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Follow-Up to Fighting Siblings

Posted on 10/2/2017

Thank you for your response to my first question. I have a follow up question, just to make sure we are striking a healthy balance of discipline. I'm pretty sure I have read 2 or 3 variations of...

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Lower the Boom on 18 year old son

Posted on 10/1/2017

My son has just turned 18 and is a senior in high school. He had his first job this summer doing construction work with some people we know. He did well getting up early and they said that he...

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6-Block Chart Program

Posted on 9/29/2017

My son is 9 1/2. Over the last few months we have implemented the daily 6 block chart program after reading The Well Behaved Child in response to the defiance and attitude we had been seeing...

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First Time Offender

Posted on 9/28/2017

Received a call from my 5th graders school today he and another boy were making and folded paper craft (ninja star) at lunch. My son turned it into an inappropriate conversation about a private...

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When a Sibling Interferes With a Consequence

Posted on 9/21/2017

Our 6 year old son threw a huge tantrum after school in front of a lot of people, thus enforcing a consequence of all his toys being taken away as well as early bedtime. Our dilemma in following...

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6 year old boy with an attitude

Posted on 9/20/2017

We are having a hard time with our almost 6 year old son. This summer we started him on tickets for whining and not listening. Quickly the focus became on not listening only. It worked for a while...

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Excessive Complaining

Posted on 9/19/2017

My question is about my thirteen-year-old daughter and her constant complaining whenever she's asked to do something that she doesn't want to do. She will get emotional and complain and argue, and...

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Kindergartner frustrated by new immersion class

Posted on 9/11/2017

My 5 1/2 year old boy is having a hard time transitioning into a spanish immersion kindergarten. He's acting out by being very disruptive and sometimes "play hitting"/horsing around. We had...

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Enough Talk?

Posted on 9/6/2017

Hello and Thank You for your help and guidance. We last asked a question in April. Here we are in September, back again and most appreciative. Our 7 year old was exposed to pornographic video on...

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Same problem, same directive.

Posted on 9/2/2017

How do I get my 6yo boy to stop the constant whining/crying when he doesn't get his way, gets frustrated, and fighting with his 2 sisters. Help.... It's driving me nuts!!

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Off to a rocky start at Kindergarten!

Posted on 9/1/2017

For the 3rd time in 8 days my 5 year old has come home from Kindergarten with a bad report from the teacher. She's at a Catholic school, which we are very happy with, but she just can't seem to...

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Change her circumstances- She'll change her behavior.

Posted on 8/30/2017

My daughter is 3 5 months years old and is having potty training trouble. She showed great interest and the "classic" signs of readiness at 2 years old but then became very resistant and finally...

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No More Lies

Posted on 8/28/2017

Hello Again, While I appreciate the quick reply to my last question, it didn't address the primary question in the post. The issue wasn't eating in the cafeteria. That was a result of the...

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Stop Feeding the Beast

Posted on 8/28/2017

HI there, We are currently disciplining our 6 year old daughter for not eating her lunch most days. The problem she claims is that they turn on the TV during lunch so she doesn't eat. She also...

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Testing 1, 2, 3!

Posted on 8/23/2017

What do you do when a 2 (almost 3 year old) doesn't listen? I try to only give directions once and then I try to act on it. If it's something like putting his shoes on I simply put them on him...

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Being Accountable

Posted on 8/22/2017

Our 9 year old daughter (4th grade) is mean to other students, threatens them etc. She is in a private, Catholic school. We have kicked her out of the Garden and revoked all privileges. Now, she...

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Questions about the Ticket System

Posted on 8/21/2017

A couple of months ago, we started the ticket system on our 5 year old son. It has worked relatively well. There are 2 target behaviors: whining and not listening when he is asked to do...

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Why "why" doesn't really matter.

Posted on 8/21/2017

I have a 5 year old daughter who will start kindergarten in 4 days. I have used the 6 block chart for behavior issues with good success. For some reason, the last several weeks have seen her...

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10 Year Old's Life of Disobedience

Posted on 8/18/2017

My very bright 10-year-old son simply refuses to obey. He is child #2 of 4 kids. He seems to take up all of our parenting energy. He spent a lot of time in the office for the first half of grade...

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