"Children learn whatever you teach them, whether you've intended for them to learn it or not. "

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Tickets for "Dis"ing

Posted yesterday

I would like to start using the ticket system (again!) with our older 2 kids who are 5.5 years old and 4 years. How can I effectively explain the behavior of disrespect to our kids so they have...

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Withholding Birthday From 7 Year Old

Posted yesterday

Hi, My 7 year old daughter has a perfect word that describes her actions towards her home school and chores, and that word is lollygag. I have frustrations with this and have for awhile. I had to...

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4 yro not listening

Posted 1 week ago

Good afternoon. I am still struggling with my 4 year old son. He has a lot of trouble listening to directions, no matter what consequences have been put in place. We've taken away privileges, put...

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Book Trouble

Posted 2 weeks ago

My almost 4 year old tears books, as in the covers off or page(s) out of books. We have removed all books from his room. We have found that when we do find a book that is torn it is a result of...

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4 year old's hitting has gone on way too long

Posted 3 weeks ago

My son is 4 years old and does not listen to direction and hits at home and school ( mom, younger sister, school friends and teachers and occasionally dad). This behavior has been going on for at...

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NIGHTTIME=NICETIME for spouses who enforce a child's bedtime

Posted 3 weeks ago

We have a 9 yo girl and 7 yo boy. Bedtime is usually supposed to be at 8pm. In the last several months, both of them, though mainly our daughter, has slowly pushed that back to 9, sometimes 10pm,...

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6 yo Throwing Wits Ending Tantrums

Posted on 8/17/2018

I am at my wit’s end. My 6 year old is making life miserable for our household. She is very strong willed and gets very angry easily. At school she gets certificates for her “model behavior”....

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Lights out! on Agonizing, Nagging & Hovering

Posted on 8/13/2018

After reading one of John's books recently, it's been like a light bulb coming on for me. A very bright, harsh light bulb... There are so many ways I have been failing. I've been implementing...

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taking back authority over 7yo

Posted on 8/12/2018

I recently discovered Mr. Rosemond's books. My husband and I are now implementing his ideas with our 7 year old son who gets easily frustrated when he doesn't get his way, ignores our demands,...

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Preschooler with an Attitude

Posted on 8/8/2018

Our 4, almost 5 year old has developed a very strong attitude problem lately. Everything that my husband or I tell her turns into her talking back. We have always told her “because I said so,” but...

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When discipline doesn't work

Posted on 8/8/2018

My son doesn't respond to most of the punishments we give because they have been given repeatedly. I have never sent him to bed without dinner, though there have been many times the situation was...

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Aggressive Preschooler

Posted on 8/8/2018

My 3.5yr old son shows signs of aggression/not being able to control emotions/feeling when he doesn't get his way; it's mostly when I say the word 'No.' So this happens a lot. It is usually him...

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Making Punishment Memorable

Posted on 8/1/2018

My 4 year old son has an AMAZING IMAGINATION! Its actually something I love about him! He's almost never bored and can entertain himself almost endlessly. Its great--except when he's sent to his...

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Nip Out-of-Control Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 7/31/2018

How do I apply John Rosemond's recommendations with three completely out-of-control boys (ages 5, 7, 9)? They don't follow any of the rules, regard all property in the house as their own (tools,...

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Save the Hugs for After the Punishment Is Complete

Posted on 7/31/2018

Whenever my 5 year old daughter is reprimanded or punished in any way, she immediately asks for a hug. How should I respond?

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Three year old adapting to changes

Posted on 7/25/2018

Our daughter turned 3 in May and it was around that time that we became aware of John Rosemond's books. We learnt that we were not authoritative in our parenting style nor did we use alpha speech,...

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Nixing Negative Talk

Posted on 7/11/2018

My 13 year old son is Negative Nellie and complains about everything. And by everything I mean everything. This behavior really started in February of this year when we sold our home but has...

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Reining in Mouthy Eleven Year Old

Posted on 7/9/2018

Hello, John and coaches, I really need help with my eleven year old. She just is so mentally exhausting to me and my husband. She is extremely strong willed and argues everything with me. I am...

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How to effectively delay consequences for 5,6 yros

Posted on 7/7/2018

I’m struggling to understand how to enact delayed consequences as described in The “Nipping” Principle and could use some suggestions. It’s easy enough to do while on errands as both my 5 and...

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'Tis the Season of Leaving and Cleaving

Posted on 7/3/2018

My son has joined my practice which was always our plan. He brought his girlfriend (also a dr & now is wife) back. They lived with us for 2 years. I trained them, shared my practice & they kept...

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Following up with 12 y/o's Sensitivity Issues

Posted on 6/27/2018

Thank you for your response to my question about my 12 year old daughters sensitivity "issues". Later that day, she threw a huge fit over her smart phone and computer as well as us not...

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Toddler using inappropriate word

Posted on 6/21/2018

Hi there, my 33 month old unfortunately picked up a bad word- from me. I said it when I realized I missed an important appointment, in which my toddler was in next room... and heard me. I feel...

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9 year old boy needs mom to say it one time!

Posted on 6/21/2018

I sure appreciated the response from Katherine Saltzberg (Leadership is Always Plan A) to my question. Can Katherine or someone else please read my initial question and then expand on her comment...

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15yro defiant, angry,

Posted on 6/19/2018

I have a 15 year old son who has extreme fits of rage when he doesn’t get his way, which is entitlement. When he is in a rage he throws and breaks my things, curses me violently and threatens...

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Teen Awakening

Posted on 6/19/2018

Hi--I am hoping John will answer this question--I reread Teen Proofing, and you talk about kids experimenting/using drugs can be a great opportunity for you and for them--for them to make mistakes...

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16 yro struggling when the going get tough

Posted on 6/17/2018

I have a 16 year old daughter. She has a high GPA but struggles with things become difficult. For example, she doesn't want to go through the SAT study guide because it seems difficult versus...

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Leadership is always Plan A!

Posted on 6/15/2018

For the past couple of years, my husband and I have been using "charts" with our two kids, now ages 7 (girl) and 9 (boy). The charts were used primarily for when the kids "forgot" to do their...

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The Terrible Three's

Posted on 6/15/2018

My 33 month old has recently begun yelling all of his responses. He gets frustrated very easily and says, “Stop! Stop it, mommy!” and “Goooosh!” "No!" is his favorite word, and now he yells it....

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Early Riser

Posted on 6/14/2018

We are, and have been, dealing with a host of behavior issues with our "strong willed" 6-year-old daughter (who, by the way, is apparently an angel and wonderful role model in school). One of the...

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5 year old in boring bedroom is enough

Posted on 6/13/2018

I've recently read "The Well-Behaved Child" and have decided to implement the ticket system with both my 5 and 6 yo. I was doing a watered down version of this system already with what I called...

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If it Feels Good...

Posted on 6/8/2018

I am a stay at home mom who has 4 kids, ages 5, 4, 2, and 6 months. My 4 year old daughter started masturbating or "rolling," as we call it, around 2.5 years old. She seems to do this just when...

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When to Use the Chair of Wisdom

Posted on 6/4/2018

We have our 6 block daily charts set up for our 9 year old son. Since he is constantly defiant we decided that it is more than enough to just target disobedience as his one target misbehavior. A...

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4 yo Using Mean Words and Potty Mouth

Posted on 5/30/2018

"I'm stupid/you're stupid/that's stupid, dumb, poop face, butt..." These are all words we do not condone our son saying. However, he works them in every chance he gets. How do we get our son to...

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Normal Preschooler!

Posted on 5/26/2018

Preschool has been a wonderful thing for my 5-year old daughter. The two things that were a theme throughout the year, however, were that her teacher told me that my daughter often talked out of...

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Table Manners Matter

Posted on 5/18/2018

Our 8 year old daughter has poor table manners. What is your suggestion on improving them? We have tried nagging (obviously unsuccessful), working on one thing at a time (worked for the first...

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Time for Bed...All by Yourself

Posted on 5/13/2018

Our 3 years old daughter would not sleep by herself. Sometimes she does, but most of the time - no! We were trying to follow the recommendation from Dr. Rosemond’s book and it worked for short...

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Moms

Posted on 5/8/2018

Have custody of a now, 4 year old Grandson. Mom abandoned him at about 18 months old, moved to Florida to make porn. Returned after that didn't work for her. My husband and I refused to allow...

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21 month old needs gentle, age appropriate discipline

Posted on 5/7/2018

Our son is 21 months and we’d like to be better about him cleaning up his toys. We’re going to sweep through his toys and get down to the bare essentials like John’s book mentions. In order to...

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Teacher took the Book of Chrome----off the hook at home??

Posted on 4/28/2018

My 14 year old son Is about to finish the eighth grade. His school issues each student a chromebook for classroom use. Today, I received an email saying that my son had been caught watching videos...

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Stealing Edibles

Posted on 4/24/2018

Hi there. My 10 year old son is struggling with "taking candy / food / vitamins / etc" when people are not looking. There are items we do not let him eat without permission and he is just...

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One of the 7 Deadly Needs...The Need to be Right

Posted on 4/23/2018

My daughter is 8 years old and has to be in control and right about everything. If she gets in trouble at home or even misses a question on a test at school, she will not admit that she made a...

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Rude Teen Needs Wake-Up Call

Posted on 4/20/2018

My son just turned 13. Since he started 7th grade in September he has been rude, disrespectful and mean. Its like he goes out of his way to make me, my 11 y/o son and 8 y/o daughter upset. Every...

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10 yo, Punish for Truth Telling

Posted on 4/17/2018

My 10 year old son stole his little brothers candy he had saved to give to a friend to try and get invited to his birthday. He did tell us the truth but what kind of punishment for stealing and...

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Tantrumming 5 year old

Posted on 4/14/2018

My 5-year-old, who is an otherwise happy, well-behaved child, cries at the drop of a hat if she perceives something has gone wrong or may go wrong soon (especially if she can't find something)....

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2.5 yro acting like a 2.5 yro

Posted on 4/6/2018

Our 2.5 year old son uses a baby voice and whines most of the time. I try to say "I can't understand you" or ask him to re-phase or use a different tone and it just doesn't seem to change his...

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Ditch the Guilt!

Posted on 4/2/2018

This week I had a friend of mine and her child come to stay at my home from out of town. My 3 year old son and her son are the same age, and they have been enjoying playing together. On the third...

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13 year old Fighting in School

Posted on 3/26/2018

Our 13-year-old son is getting in trouble regularly at school, he is constantly arguing/fighting with a class mate he’s had problems with for 3 years. His classmate is very convert in his daily...

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It's Only a Phase!

Posted on 3/21/2018

My 3 year old child started the ticket system with 5 tickets in October of 2017. By January of 2018 we had a changed child on our hands and we were able to put away the ticket system. All of...

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Set the standard and hold them to it.

Posted on 3/18/2018

Hi there, Thank you for all the advice you have given me re: my out of control 3.5 yo son. He’s been kicked out of the garden for hitting mum - and successfully strung together 28 days of not...

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Self Control?

Posted on 3/12/2018

Thank you for answering my question from earlier in the week. I appreciate Parent Guru & the role of the doctor in my life. My sons 3 qtr report came home on Thursday of course I knew he had...

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