"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

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Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted 1 week ago

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

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'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted 1 week ago

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

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Prevailing not Travailing

Posted 1 week ago

My 14 year old daughter was mad at me about a consequence I gave her after clearly telling her what the expectations were. She knew what the rules were and broke them so I gave her the...

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Lowering the Boom

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

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Meaningful or Logical?

Posted 2 weeks ago

Having a hard time with my 3.5 year old boy and what would be a logical consequence - every morning and after nap time he struggles with getting out of bed reasonably. He usually wails and...

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Toying With Grandma

Posted 3 weeks ago

My six-year-old granddaughter is terrible about helping her sister put up toys. She always has been. Before my daughter died, she was trying hard to get her to obey without all the drama, and the...

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Puberty and Lingerie Continues to be a problem

Posted 3 weeks ago

We are continuing to have a problem with my son, now 14, and girls clothes. I noticed some of my items missing recently, black camisole and a black slip. I found a bag in his closet filled with...

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7 year old boy needs leadership to solve the problem

Posted 1 month ago

We are using the Strike System with our two children. Our seven year old boy often receives all of his strikes as he is a High Misbehaver (currently) and is sent to his room. However, he will not...

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Sibling Rivalry

Posted 1 month, 1 day ago

my daughters, age 5 and 2, constantly fight. I agree siblings need to settle their own quarrels; however, my 2 year old is still physically agressive (pulling hair, hitting), and sometimes I...

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more consequences or more attitude?

Posted on 2/16/2019

Do you all have a list of different types of consequences for young kids? Currently we use a combination of the following for our kids (6, 5, 3, 20mos): spankings with a wooden spoon (sometimes...

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Youngsters 3.5 and 5.5 yo disturbing the peace

Posted on 2/15/2019

I have three boys, 5.5 and 3.5 years old, and an 8-month-old baby. The older two share a bedroom and are homeschooled. When they are not doing an instructed activity or chore, they disturb the...

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7th grade boy and school tech use

Posted on 2/15/2019

My 7th grader boy is at a new school. He has gotten a detention for looking at baseball videos on his computer during class. So I grounded him and took everything away..once off being grounded he...

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Why Should Children Listen?

Posted on 2/11/2019

I received a response from Sarah Hamaker, thank you. I'm writing in response to your response. As I said in my 1st note, this situation has been going on since our 14 year old was probably about...

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Separate but Equal

Posted on 2/10/2019

I have an introverted, sensitive (gentle and kind) four-year-old son and an extroverted, physically rambunctious two-year-old son. The two year old is physically aggressive (biting and hitting)...

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Suddenly defiant.

Posted on 2/8/2019

My daughter turned 4 this week. She is sweet and doesn’t require tons of discipline for the most part ( although the last two weeks have proven differently). It’s like she woke up a different...

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The Terrible 12's

Posted on 2/7/2019

A few months have passed. This school year seems to have been a big step for my now 12 year old. We have been struggling most of the school year and just got his grades for the second quarter. The...

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Mom, the Meanie...

Posted on 2/5/2019

My 4yr old son recently has been saying to me he wants a new mom. This started after he was disciplined got mad at me and said I was a mean mom. How should I address this issue when my son says...

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Hitting plus tantrums

Posted on 2/5/2019

HI there, we've been intensively working with our now 4.5 year old boy who had many, many behavioural problems. He is now much more cooperative after sessions with a good parent coach. However,...

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Teenage drama

Posted on 2/5/2019

My 14 year old son had a very rough transition to high school this year. Although he has the ability, he is not performing well and has failed two classes last semester. This semester is not...

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Kicked out of the Garden

Posted on 2/2/2019

My 9 yo daughter was kicked out of the garden a few days ago due to disobedience. By 10:00 this morning, she had lost all of the blocks on her behavior chart and was sent to her room for the rest...

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The Defiant Young Adult

Posted on 1/31/2019

My son turns 18 tomorrow. He seems to think this means he can do whatever he wants, including not doing what I ask. He is picking his girlfriend up at the airport this evening and I told him he...

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"You May NOT Hit Mommy!"

Posted on 1/29/2019

My 18 month girl just started hitting me and laughing and scratching my face tonight when I was putting on her pajamas! She has never done this to me before, she tried to hit my husband once (a...

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7.5 yo girl pulling mom's strings

Posted on 1/29/2019

HI, I've been working on forgetfulness for a while on my 7.5 year old daughter. She is given an instruction, but VERY often either fails to complete it or does an incomplete job of it. This has...

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Multiple Kids, One Room?

Posted on 1/27/2019

OK, I'm going to try again with a different formulation. For decades Dr. Rosemond has been advocating tickets/blocks with isolation in a comparatively stripped down room as the end state for x...

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Discipline Drama Take 2

Posted on 1/20/2019

How do you get a 38month old child to comply? I have a little girl who says no to almost everything I tell/ask her to do. What do I do if she just doesn’t do It? Make her sit in her chair until...

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Avoid Making Mountains out of Molehills

Posted on 1/18/2019

Our 12-year-old daughter is raising concerns (both ours and at least one of her teachers') with violence in her writing. Last fall she asked me to read over a fictional short story she had written...

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14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

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Eyebrows: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Posted on 12/24/2018

Recently my 12 year old daughter has started pulling out her eyebrow hairs to the point of it being extremely noticeable. Says she is aware she is doing it but can’t seem to stop. She can not...

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children not listening

Posted on 12/23/2018

Hello. A tiny bit about us: I had 5 children in 4.5 years: 3 girls then twin boys, now 6, 4.5, 3, & 18 mos (x2). I stay at home and do not work. The 6 yr old is in Kinder and other two girls...

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Consequences

Posted on 12/19/2018

OK, I have a question concerning consequences using the system Dr. Rosemond has advocated for decades and that we used successfully with our oldest two (now delightful and responsible older...

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Now what?

Posted on 12/13/2018

Hey thank you for the answer I needed..I have taken her phone permanently only reason she had a phone is because her dad lives out of town and I work far from where I’m at and he bought her a...

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Where's That Wonderful Daughter?

Posted on 12/12/2018

My 8-year-old daughter has been a wonderful child until about a month ago. She’s lying a lot, not doing what we ask her to do, and she talks back. I have asked her what is wrong, and she tells me...

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Put some Harsh in their Mellow

Posted on 12/7/2018

Our son recently turned 11. Having just finished "Parenting by the book" and almost done "Teenproofing" I am certain we started too late with "Gramma's rules" while we fumbled through time outs,...

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The Headless Choresmen

Posted on 12/7/2018

Having completed "Parenting by the Book" , I sadly realize I have done my children no favors by doing so much for them. They are now 7 and 11 and need to be reminded to do every little thing. We...

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11 year old not paying attention to parents

Posted on 12/6/2018

I just reviewed a questions from another subscriber using a ticket system with a 7 year old to nip multiple behaviors in the bud. In the answer I read "You cannot disciple or discipline a child...

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Caution: Child in Charge

Posted on 12/6/2018

Our recently-turned 11-year-old boy is really hating school this year. He seems to think he knows what he needs to learn for his future and the rest is a waste of his time. He is a very bright...

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Little Slugger

Posted on 12/4/2018

Not sure if you can see my previous questions but my daughter 22 months is still hitting. In fact it’s getting worse. She really only hits me, occasionally my husband. Last suggestion was to put...

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Left Out in the Cold

Posted on 12/3/2018

Our son will be 3 in January and refuses to wear a jacket in the winter months. At times, we have forced him and other times we have allowed him to wear a sweater/vest in the hopes that he would...

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FOMO=NOMO

Posted on 12/3/2018

4 year old boy with FOMO (fear of missing out) Our 4 year old son melts down any time it’s time to leave somewhere fun (school, tennis, friends house, etc) is there anything I can do to nip this...

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Four year old boss

Posted on 11/30/2018

Please help. Whenever my parents come for a visit my four year old runs the show, tells them how to play and what to do, and runs over her two year old sister. I dread the visits. What are we to do?

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Longing for a peaceful home

Posted on 11/23/2018

What is your advice for a child who refuses to stay in their room? Up until recently we had been locking our daughter’s door when she had lost all her tickets on the ticket system. This last...

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Dad's Not on Board

Posted on 11/4/2018

Hi there, Susan Morley recently answered a question I posed concerning my son who has been caught with vape materials. She recommended strict consequences which I want to impose. His father,...

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4 year old annoying big sister and more

Posted on 11/2/2018

HI there, What do you suggest I do with a 4 year old boy who is constantly annoying his 7-year old sister by making lots of noise when she's practicing the piano (it's in the living room and a...

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6 year old's Target Misbehaviors must be concrete and specific

Posted on 10/29/2018

We have been doing the chart system for a week now with our 6 year old son targeting disrespect/defiance and disobedience. We started out with 8 squares a day. There have only been a few days when...

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Where Lego Ends, Tickets Begin

Posted on 10/28/2018

We just started using the ticket system on our 6 year old son yesterday. Following is an example of this morning, which we're not quite sure how to handle. Our son is busy playing with his Lego...

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Out of Control 7yr old

Posted on 10/27/2018

Hi, my husband and I would appreciate some advice on our situation with our 7 year old daughter. Her medication has become ineffective recently and we are at our wits end with what to do with...

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The Pestering Teen...

Posted on 10/22/2018

We are struggling with my 14 year old son. He constantly pesters sister dad and myself. We take away all electronic devices and that does not solve the problem. He is getting more stubborn every...

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The High School Experiment

Posted on 10/22/2018

I feel like I ask the same questions all the time. My 12th grader is stressing me out, he is barely making his grades in school coming in at B, C, D's and E's. He's a good kid but I suspect...

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GrandmaMa held hostage by the 4 year old

Posted on 10/18/2018

I am back peddling to hopefully resolve a problem I most Ilkely created! Just for transparency!,,,,,,,,, I am raising a 4.5 yr old Grandson. Due to circumstances far beyond our control...we...

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Clash of the "Tot"ans

Posted on 10/17/2018

I have a two year old and four year old who are constantly bickering! I have limited toys to one bin a piece. They start imaginary play with each other which is great but that turns into she...

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