Questions

Technology and the Preteen Boy

Posted on 4/26/2023

Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...

Feelings can lead to failings.

Posted on 4/15/2023

My 9 year old son has an issue with expressing emotion. If he gets upset, sad, angry, frustrated, anxious, sometimes even excited, it comes out only as anger and often aggression (i.e. doing...

BeFuddled Father Facing Four Females

Posted on 4/10/2023

Hello, I know you don't know the history at all with my step-daughters. However, we gave out Easter candy to our 3 daughters (2 step-daughter and one is my own). The 16 year old step-daughter...

What Do I Do if My Child Is the Bully?

Posted on 4/1/2023

What do you do when you find out your child is the bully? Recently, I read my 13-year-old son's text thread and learned he was verbally bullying another child. Reading further, he also...

Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

12YO's Rude Behavior Needs to Stop

Posted on 3/7/2023

6 yo daughter and a 12 yo daughter. 12 yo is acting rude toward her grandma. Grandma is loving, kind, interested and attends activities. 12 yo is a good kid, good grades, is respectful. We’ve set...

Making Tickets Work

Posted on 3/2/2023

Hello - My wife and I have loved "The Well-Behaved Child". We implemented the ticketing for a 4 year old daughter and have noticed some improvements but there is more work to do. The consistent...

Why doesn't he hand in the homework?

Posted on 2/17/2023

We have a 12 year old son who is in the 7th grade (junior high) this year. He is a good kid who has lots of friends and is very active in sports and does quite well. Our problem this past school...

Progress isn't Linear

Posted on 2/16/2023

After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...

Distress at the Dentist's and Choosing Church

Posted on 2/2/2023

Question about The Godfather Principle: We’re currently implementing this because of a rather rough (that’s an understatement) dentist visit. We read your response to the question about temper...

Parenting dilemma or parenting success story.

Posted on 1/31/2023

John, (or a parent coach) we have told him "it's because God made you a boy". I will accept that my children will not be able to share toys from here on out but the pains it takes us to explain to...

Attention-Getting Antics Working for 4YO

Posted on 1/12/2023

Our question is about punishment for our 4½ year old girl. Usually we ask her to stand in a circle on the floor, or we send her to her room for the rest of the night, or a fixed amount of time, no...

Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

13YO Thinks She's All That and A Bag of Chips

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 13 year old has been very mean to her sisters for a while now. She is very smart and quick witted. She is constantly talking down to her sisters, belittling them and making one of them cry. We...

6 yr old fits

Posted on 1/4/2023

My daughter is 6 years old. When her father and I speak to her about her behaviour she interrupts us by saying "I know, I know, I know". She is constantly talking back! she's hit me before and I...

Does Chicken Little Make You a Little Chicken? A Four-Year Old's Tantrumizing

Posted on 12/29/2022

Constant power struggle with 4-year old. Our 4 year old son’s behavior has done a complete 180 within the last couple of weeks only at home. Preschool and daycare is constantly telling us he’s...

Fears, Five Year Olds, and the Doctor

Posted on 12/12/2022

My daughter, age 5 1/2 recently started acting irrational. She refuses to get in the car and will unbuckle herself and jump out. This behavior started a week ago when she refused to sleep in her...

Negotiating consequences.

Posted on 12/4/2022

I need some advice! First let me acknowledge I have not had any experience with “boys” other than cousins in my life. Boy Mom is a new experience, My child, I believe has an impulse control...

The Doctor is In

Posted on 11/29/2022

Help! Our daughter is 5 and has become defiant and disobedient. For example she will come to us and say "I know I'm not supposed to (enter action) but I did." She said she's being truthful by...

Silly boy, listening is for kids

Posted on 11/13/2022

Our 4 year old was a pretty good listener right up to when he turned 4. We've weathered some big tantrums, which seem to mostly be in decline (frequency & length). Now, he has started to just "be...

The Daycare Biter, Act 2

Posted on 11/8/2022

My just turned 2 granddaughter is biting at her preschool/daycare. This has happened off and on for over 3 months and is getting more frequent. She does not do this at home, to her 4 yr bother, on...

childminder refuses to watch 9 yo boy

Posted on 10/24/2022

What is a good consequence when you pay for your 9 year old to go to holiday clubs and childminder so you can work but they misbehave and complain so much they don’t want to be there that staff...

THE PUNISHMENT FITS THE CRIME.

Posted on 10/19/2022

I am a principal at a Christian School. I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime" and do not generally issue standard consequences. I recently had a student to speak ill of another...

10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Five Years Old: The Age of Fine Whine

Posted on 9/21/2022

My youngest, who is 5 years old, is feeling left out, saying the neighborhood kids don’t want to play with him. However, I don’t blame them! He is very whiny, tattles constantly, and doesn't share...

Mentally Drained Mom Seeking Advice

Posted on 9/2/2022

We have a 9 year old girl, 6 year old boy, and 4.5 year old girl. I've read Parenting by The Book twice and The Well Behaved Child twice in the past month. Our 9 year old is the biggest challenge,...

Raising Believers

Posted on 8/30/2022

We just started the ticket system and we have one target misbehavior for our 4 year old. Following directions. For example, when he loses a ticket because he doesn’t listen when we ask him to...

Time to Reel In 5-Year-Old

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 5 year old who has come a long way with behavior but lately hasn't been great at listening when told to do something. She will almost pretend we didn't say it or will just say "I will in...

Sometimes all you need is a hug and a dutch door.

Posted on 8/13/2022

When my 4 year old son loses all his privileges for the day, we cannot get him to stay in his room. What is something we can try? We calmly put him back in his room each time he runs out, but it...

Get Creative

Posted on 7/24/2022

Greetings! Our usually cheerful and happy 4yo daughter does not seem to react normally to punishment. At first she gets upset and cries, but very shortly into a time out or being sent to her room...

Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

2nd Grader Needs to Change His Ways

Posted on 6/28/2022

Hi there, I have an 8-year old 2nd grader and his teacher has called us twice about his behaviour in school. He fidgets and moves, sometimes talks and jokes with friends whilst the teacher is...

Ticket System questions

Posted on 6/22/2022

I have some questions regarding the ticket system for a 3.5 year old. 1. What if he loses all of his tickets at the end of the day? One time he lost his last ticket but it was right before...

3-Year-Old in Hyper Mode

Posted on 6/22/2022

My 3.5 year old will get hyper and annoying when he is overtired or overexcited. When he’s in a “hyper mode”, he’s running around, trying to roughhouse, jumping into people, being loud and...

10-Year-Old Not Getting the Message

Posted on 6/16/2022

My ten-year-old son has recently been misbehaving at school with a friend. First, the teacher informed us that after the class was told not to play hide and seek inside the school building during...

Don't Dis R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 6/13/2022

Our 8 year old has grown increasingly disrespectful. He is perfect respectful to adults like teachers and parents of his friends, so it is primarily an issue at home. Often the disrespect is...

11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER

Posted on 6/11/2022

My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...

Two Year Old Being Terrible

Posted on 6/9/2022

My 2.5 year old in the past week has been extremely irritable, refusing to eat almost anything that isn’t Mac and cheese, and has reverted back to taking 2 naps a day. Tantrums and screaming are...

Good Cop Bad Cop

Posted on 6/6/2022

Ongoing tiff with Husband. Example scenario: 3 1/2 year old daughter is harassing 1 1/2 year old daughter and is put in timeout in her room. Every time she's in timeout she's screaming and losing...

Posted on 5/27/2022

.Our 16-year daughter is the last of three children. Our son is 29 and resides in South Africa with his wife. Our daughter, 20, has returned from college this summer. My husband believes in...

The Terrible Threes: Taking a Powder with the Doctor

Posted on 5/25/2022

Threenagers worse than the terrible twos? My 3.5 yr old daughter is very disrespectful toward myself and my husband. She's frequently whining, throwing tantrums, and during those tantrums...

Time for a Reboot

Posted on 5/18/2022

Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...

Bedtime Monsters

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 9 year old won’t go to bed at night, constantly crying about monsters etc which has never been an issue before. It seems to be one thing after the other. If he could sleep in my bed he would...

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 3.5 year old thinks he is running the show. He is bossy, and doing insubordination and attention seeking behaviors. I read your books and he was an easy toddler. But dad I forgot to use alpha...

Young daughter testing the boundaries

Posted on 4/21/2022

Hi! I am following up on questions I asked about a year ago that were titled "The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory" Using a parent coach and reading "The Well Behaved Child" (many...

No Response is a Response: Let Them Be Silly

Posted on 4/21/2022

How do we teach our children to stop the constant silly talk/noises? One child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, etc. I've set up a rule that the first 30 minutes after wakeup and the last 30...

Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

Exhausted and Longing for Peace

Posted on 4/4/2022

Discovering your books has put us on a new trajectory in our family after years of struggle with our "high misbehavior" 5 year old. For several months we've used the ticket system and "kicked him...

Middle of the Night Snacks Prolonging Mealtime Battles

Posted on 3/20/2022

In September I asked for advice on my picky 2-year-old. For 6 months, I have consistently tried the methods recommended. I didn't fuss over meals, just gave him small amounts of whatever I made,...

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