Questions

Son and Mom Problem

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi. 13-Year-old boy. Home school, avid reader, no screens, movies on weekend. Tennis player. Plays outside. I love everything Rosemond. But I have never been great at putting it into effect. My...

Should My Teen Miss Prom?

Posted 2 weeks ago

What is your advice regarding grounding teenagers such that they miss major milestone events or rites of passage? I would greatly like to avoid punishments such as missing prom or graduation;...

Don't talk so much

Posted on 3/21/2024

My 4 year old daughter has been having problems listening and following directions, particularly at her after school program. She gets written up at least once a week and has been suspended from...

Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

Upping the Ante Not Working with Misbehaving 5YO

Posted on 3/17/2024

We have a 5 year old who continues to disobey. We tell her “go upstairs it’s time to brush your teeth.” Or “It’s time to clean up your legos.” And she’ll say, “No!” If we up the ante and say,...

Time to Show you Mean Business

Posted on 3/7/2024

Hi! Today, after telling my 9 year old son no, he could not take Pokemon cards to school, he snuck them in his backpack and took them anyway. The teacher called me. She also told me he brought a...

12 yr old boy acting up at school, then covering it up

Posted on 2/27/2024

Our 12 y/o son, who attends a small Christian school, was disciplined at school for crude jesters, at the lunch table in regards to a banana. In his meeting with principle, he was to write letter...

Disruptive Diner

Posted on 2/21/2024

Our youngest child is 5 and was adopted as an infant (not a newborn). He has strong food preferences. Our other boys (biological) eat well; they can be picky at times, but we don't fix special...

Child Sneaking out of Room for Snacks

Posted on 2/17/2024

When using the Doctor Method and sending your kids to bed early, what do you do when your kid is then so well rested, wakes up before everyone else, and rummages through the kitchen? My 5-year-old...

Figure out how to not take it personally.

Posted on 1/29/2024

Hi, we have 4 children. Our oldest is 9 and adopted through foster care. Has been with us since a baby. She has had intermittent food issues like eating until she throws up as a toddler, but that...

End the Games

Posted on 1/22/2024

First, to start, my 14-year-old son has no behavior issues and is a good kid, good student and a contributing member to our family life. We have a rule about video game usage (I believe video...

How to use charts/tickets with 3 kids

Posted on 1/13/2024

How to decide to use chart or ticket system for 3 kids? 11 y/o and 9 y/o sons would have same misbehaviors #1 Do things 1st time asked #2 Clean up after yourself #3 Aggravating sibling (Sibling...

Responding to opposing viewpoints

Posted on 1/9/2024

A while back my kids had done wrong and so I spanked them, prayed with them, hugged them and told them that I love them. That’s how my parents did with me. A person I am close to said I should...

Toddlers are stubborn and sneaky - really?

Posted on 1/7/2024

We live in a rougher part of town and our front door is close to the road. Because of this and because of my kids being very young (2.5 & 1.5) I don’t want them outside without me. We lock the...

Victimhood by a 10 yro

Posted on 1/6/2024

Our son regularly makes excuses, assigns blame elsewhere, etc. when it comes to taking responsibilities for his decisions. He often plays the "poor me" or victim card. What are your best...

Time for a Visit From the Doctor

Posted on 12/29/2023

I'm at a loss for direction. I tried lumping my kids together with a chart just to find how different they are. My 4 y/o loves to relentlessly antagonize my 5 y/o whiner, and my 7 y/o loves to...

How much to expect from toddlers

Posted on 12/5/2023

How do I know where to draw the line between what to expect for proper behavior and what is too advanced for the kids (girl 2.5 and boy 1.5) to learn? My husband and I have high standards of what...

Turn to Tickets for Sibling Conflicts

Posted on 11/23/2023

I have 3 children (7, 5 & 4) who play very well together. They don't always get along well, and I'd like to do the chart system for them for the same behaviors (whining/tantrums, misusing...

FOMO in ISO, and Bud-Nipping: Consequencing an 11-yr Old Bully

Posted on 11/18/2023

My 11 year old son frequently hits, pushes, his younger siblings, ages 6 and 5, when no adult is around. It is very much intentional in trying to hurt the others. He will provoke his siblings...

Overspending Lunch Account

Posted on 11/16/2023

My son's school is using a new foodservice company. There have been some bumps as they navigate how to configure it. As of now 5-12 grades are allowed to bill whatever they want to the family...

Perfectionism and Kids

Posted on 11/7/2023

I have a 4-year-old son, 6-year-old daughter and 4-month-old. We are part of a homeschool co-op group that meets once a week. It isn’t a drop off co-op, so all parents stay the whole time. My...

Tickets. I’ve got your tickets!

Posted on 11/4/2023

Hello - we have been using some form of the ticketing system with our 5 year old daughter for about a year now. It doesn’t seem like we have made much progress. She is still consistently...

Troubled Teen/Perplexed Parents

Posted on 10/30/2023

Hello, We have a problem dealing with our 15 yr old son's violent behavior when we take his phone or he gets grounded. He has been caught taking his older brother's car late at night (without...

8 YEAR OLD BOY WITH VICTIM MENTALITY

Posted on 10/29/2023

I have 3 boys (10, 10 and 8). I regretfully admit that I have fostered a victim mentality in my 8 year old to the point where he now plays victim outside of the house. When he is playing sports...

It's Her Problem

Posted on 10/26/2023

Hello, My 5.5 year old daughter is praised for her behavior by all caregivers outside the home. At home, when I give her a command like “go brush your hair,” she will dawdle, say “not yet” or...

Teens Pushing Buttons

Posted on 10/24/2023

Whenever we try to discipline our son, it always escalates into a very bad situation. He recently started driving to high school and he has had a few tardies. He had a tardy a week ago, his...

7yr old not doing what is right

Posted on 10/24/2023

Hello, My daughter is seven years old. She is having trouble focusing in school. She moves around in her chair a lot, often skips over reading instructions, frequently leaves big sections of her...

Adjusting the Attitude

Posted on 10/13/2023

Are there any Rosemond certified therapists on the island of Oahu? I've read several of John's books and am still having trouble with my 2 kids, especially my soon to be 13 yrs old son. He was a...

1st Grade Son Prefers Silly Play

Posted on 10/8/2023

My 1st grade son who has always preferred oral "silly" play including making rasberry sounds, whistling, and staccato outbursts of word like but unintelligible syllables, and exaggerated laughter,...

7 YEAR OLD HAS NO DESIRE TO LISTEN TO REASON

Posted on 9/12/2023

We have a 7.5yo son with a habit of yelling/screaming/whining at us when we attempt to talk to him at times when he is misbehaving or breaking family rules. We can barely get the first words out...

DISCIPLINE WITH A TODDLER

Posted on 9/5/2023

We have followed your advice and most of the bad behavior (throwing food, bully little brother, battles over picking up toys, being a tattle tale) have cleared up. But we are still struggling some...

WE GIVE MANY THANKS FOR THIS UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL

Posted on 8/29/2023

Thank you SO much for your advice. Things are going much better. A lot of the drama and stress has cut down. Both kids (2 and 15 months) are happier. I have been praying about it and seeking Godly...

TODDLER REPEATING HIMSELF INCESSANTLY

Posted on 8/24/2023

I have 3 kids- 4, 3, 10 months. The current struggle we are having is with our just turned 3 year old son. Come to think of it, this has been an issue since he could speak. Our son will ask a...

FETAL DRUG SYNDROME?

Posted on 8/23/2023

My granddaughter, who is 9 years old, was adopted as a newborn. Her biological mother used drugs (heroin, cocaine, and methadone on board at delivery). My granddaughter was in NICU for detox for...

Parenting in Public

Posted on 8/9/2023

What do I do about disciplining and training bad behavior in public? In this confused world I don’t want people to think I’m being too strict, abusive, or unloving. But I have seen John’s stuff...

Tattletale Two-Year-Old

Posted on 8/9/2023

My daughter (2 yr) has trouble with being a tattletale. Off and on all day she tells me what her brother (1 yr) is doing. It’s true that a lot of the time when she says he is doing something wrong...

Treasured Times--Dating your Daughter

Posted on 7/30/2023

Hi, I am wondering if you would consider one on on child and parent dates a privilege or necessity? If you have a planned one on one child date but the child is misbehaving do you cancel the date...

PRIVATE COACHING IS SOMETIMES THE WAY TO GO

Posted on 7/29/2023

Our middle son, age 7, has been a challenge since he was a baby. We met a few years ago with a John Rosemond Parent coach about him and it was helpful, but we still have some areas where we...

Head Hurter

Posted on 7/12/2023

When my 22-month-old son is told no, he will usually obey but he will take his fist and hit the side of his head (hard!) repeatedly or will start running until he falls and then will bang his head...

A 9-yr old, 3D's and the PKR

Posted on 6/16/2023

We are having issues with our almost 9 year old son, the oldest of 3 boys. He is increasingly disrespectful, stirring up trouble with his brothers, being physically violent with us and his...

Technology and the Preteen Boy

Posted on 4/26/2023

Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...

Feelings can lead to failings.

Posted on 4/15/2023

My 9 year old son has an issue with expressing emotion. If he gets upset, sad, angry, frustrated, anxious, sometimes even excited, it comes out only as anger and often aggression (i.e. doing...

BeFuddled Father Facing Four Females

Posted on 4/10/2023

Hello, I know you don't know the history at all with my step-daughters. However, we gave out Easter candy to our 3 daughters (2 step-daughter and one is my own). The 16 year old step-daughter...

What Do I Do if My Child Is the Bully?

Posted on 4/1/2023

What do you do when you find out your child is the bully? Recently, I read my 13-year-old son's text thread and learned he was verbally bullying another child. Reading further, he also...

Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

12YO's Rude Behavior Needs to Stop

Posted on 3/7/2023

6 yo daughter and a 12 yo daughter. 12 yo is acting rude toward her grandma. Grandma is loving, kind, interested and attends activities. 12 yo is a good kid, good grades, is respectful. We’ve set...

Making Tickets Work

Posted on 3/2/2023

Hello - My wife and I have loved "The Well-Behaved Child". We implemented the ticketing for a 4 year old daughter and have noticed some improvements but there is more work to do. The consistent...

Why doesn't he hand in the homework?

Posted on 2/17/2023

We have a 12 year old son who is in the 7th grade (junior high) this year. He is a good kid who has lots of friends and is very active in sports and does quite well. Our problem this past school...

Progress isn't Linear

Posted on 2/16/2023

After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...

Distress at the Dentist's and Choosing Church

Posted on 2/2/2023

Question about The Godfather Principle: We’re currently implementing this because of a rather rough (that’s an understatement) dentist visit. We read your response to the question about temper...

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