"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

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How to address bad behavior outdoors

Posted 3 days ago

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the three strikes method with kick...

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Dealing with 6-Year-Old's Backtalk and Lies

Posted 1 week ago

My husband and I are taking custody of a six year old little boy (no relation to us) who has been abandoned by his meth addicted mother, and his father whom he's never met is in prison for...

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Curb Behavior With Alpha Speech

Posted 2 weeks ago

My son is 3-years-old and is a sweet boy and had a pretty good first two and a half years. Three months ago he started bluntly saying "No" to us and being more aggressive towards his brother, and...

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Sibling Warfare

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

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3D Snapshot of the Mien of a Tween: not a Pretty Picture

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 12 year old son is stealing money out of my purse. He has a long history of defiance, sneakiness, and lying. He is also disrespectful, and disobedient. We suspect he's been stealing money for...

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Normal Kindergarten Boy

Posted on 9/21/2020

Our 5-year-old is struggling in kindergarten because of behavior. He runs around the classroom instead of staying in his seat, refuses to stay quiet (shouts) when the teacher is teaching and...

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A Fine Whine?

Posted on 9/20/2020

Looking for help for whining for our 28mo. We have tried saying "that's whining. We can't hear whining. Use your happy voice." and even the raising eyebrows suggestion, for the last 7 or so...

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Unwell Mom Struggles with Screen Time Abuse

Posted on 9/19/2020

I am really unwell at the moment and my son is being kept home from school, I also have a 1 year old. I am trying to look after both while I get through this illness. Discipline has slided and...

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Disrespectful 8-Year-Old

Posted on 9/19/2020

We have noticed more ungrateful and entitled behavior in my 8 year old son recently. During a trip to the zoo, he became upset and was rude and disrespectful when I would not buy him food and ice...

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How to Deal With a 5-Year-Old Who Hits

Posted on 9/17/2020

Our son is 5 and just started kindergarten. He's had so many tough transitions this year with COVID lockdowns. One day in March his friends, preschool, extended family were all taken away and then...

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Music Matters

Posted on 9/1/2020

My son is 14. I let him have Spotify music not realizing the horrible explicit music. Rap. I recently found where he was listening to it. We don’t allow that in our home. I’m going to block the...

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Actions Speak Louder Than Explanations

Posted on 8/30/2020

I have 2 questions: If a family has children of grade school age and want to begin using John's child rearing principals. What is the best way to begin? Sit the kids down and say "Things are...

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Welcome to the Terrible Twos!

Posted on 8/30/2020

When I get ready in the morning I let my 21 month old play with cotton balls and bandaids and other non harmful bathroom supplies. When I was done I told him to pick up the the cotton balls (he...

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Night Owl Habit

Posted on 8/28/2020

Still a daily struggle here and school is about to start. I gave in and allowed the computer back, but I cannot get this kid on a schedule of getting up for the day and sleeping at night. He is...

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2-Year-Old and 4-Year-Old Can't Get Along

Posted on 8/20/2020

My 2 year old and my 4 year old seem to not be able to stay with each other for 5 min with out fitting over something ... should I say something or let them work it out because it seem like a...

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Weed-be-Gone

Posted on 8/16/2020

My 15yo son admitted to me that a few months ago he took weed (THC) for about a week. Yesterday he and a friend took some more weed. I found out when his friend started feeling nauseated and dizzy...

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Backtalking 8-Year-Old

Posted on 8/10/2020

I have a question about the ticket system. We are using tickets to focus on talking back from our 8 year old. Often when he loses a ticket for talking back, he continues as he makes his way to...

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Nipping the Kicking During Diaper Change

Posted on 8/4/2020

Recently my 20 month old grandson has begin kicking and generally screaming whenever his clothes/diapers are changed. He basically objects to the entire process. His kicks get hard and violent....

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No Good Reason For 7-Year-Old's Threat

Posted on 7/30/2020

I got a call from our daycare provider today saying our 7-year-old told his best friend that he was going to bring in a real gun and shoot him because the friend had taken something that belonged...

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Teen parenting adjustment.

Posted on 7/28/2020

We have a 16 yo son who we have caught recently lying and even snuck out of the house once (that we know of) with a couple friends. He does have a phone that he pays for monthly. But we have...

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3-yo boy "can't" manage to put away his toys

Posted on 7/23/2020

My son routinely says "I can't" when asked to pick up his toys or clean up a mess he made and he will do everything possible to get out of doing his part! He is very stubborn and timeout, taking...

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Posted on 7/23/2020

Is it wrong to use an attachment toy like a stuffed "lovey" as a tool to get good behavior? Meaning, is it ok to take it away and not allow them the lovey at bedtime or when ever requested as...

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Toddler Tantrums and Disrespect

Posted on 7/23/2020

My three-year-old is extremely disrespectful, yells, "Noooooo!" says, "I can't," when told to clean up toys, and will kick and bang on the back of his bedroom door when placed in time out. I...

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Follow through at all cost.

Posted on 7/18/2020

My daughter who is 8 years old has become accustomed to yelling and raising her voice when speaking to us her parents. We raise our voices in the house too so perhaps she gets that from us. But...

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Disrespect is Unacceptable

Posted on 7/12/2020

For our daughter's 10th birthday we let her have two friends sleepover. I asked her for a birthday dinner and breakfast request to have for the sleepover. Breakfast request was waffles with...

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dad on very different page

Posted on 7/2/2020

Do you have any advice for a parent who is the primary disciplinarian in a 2-parent household? For example, after my daughter receives punishment from me for a misbehavior, her dad will often...

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When Mom Makes a Mistake

Posted on 6/28/2020

What is the best way to recover after making a mistake? For instance, if 3 children are very close in age, and you punish the wrong child for something you later find out their sibling had done.

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Self-Destructing Son

Posted on 6/24/2020

I am so thankful for this site and your support. I feel empowered and encouraged. It seems very recently that whenever my son is asked to do a chore, he injures himself. These are simple age...

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Help! Quarantine Has Thrown a Kink in Our Schedule!

Posted on 6/23/2020

My husband has been working from home for the last few months and this has brought new challenges with our 5 and 6 year old boys. Prior to him working from home I had a routine of them playing in...

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Son hits himself when he loses TV privileges

Posted on 6/18/2020

When my son loses his tv privileges he starts hitting himself, screaming, saying he’s stupid, he hates himself etc and beginning he will do anything to earn tv back (I say no). There clearly is an...

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Toddler Tests the Car Seat Limits

Posted on 6/13/2020

My 18 month old always gets a short time out when he hits or throws food. Consequently, he almost never hits or throws food any more. However, since we have been going out more, he is now testing...

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No More Naps? Call the Doctor!

Posted on 6/12/2020

I’ve written about our middle son previously. He turned 4 a few weeks ago. He no longer naps but seems really tired during the day. He whines, seems clumsy (which I believe to be related to being...

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6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

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How to Achieve Peaceful Coexistence Between Children

Posted on 5/31/2020

I have a 6-year-old, and 2.5 year old. They are fighting A LOT. What’s the best way to discipline them? I try to let them work it out as much as I can, but it’s constant. Older child ripping toys...

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Disrespectful Tween

Posted on 5/22/2020

My 11 year old daughter gets upset when I correct her and calls me names in her heart not aloud; but she later tells me those rude things and apologises. (The most recent name she called me...

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"Battle of the Wills" with 2 Year Old is Frustrating

Posted on 5/21/2020

How should we handle a 23 months old that has been hitting us or attempting to hit, for a few months now, when angry or not permitted to do what she wants? Such as not being diaper changed or not...

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Three Snaps & out of the Spotlight

Posted on 5/20/2020

I have a just-turned 3-year-old son. He has a problem with needing constant attention. My husband and I routinely engage in our own activities around our son, and he can entertain himself well, so...

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Attention seeking years.

Posted on 5/20/2020

My three-year-old son has issues with being "ignored." I've already asked a question regarding his behavior around his grandparents (whom we live with), but I'd like some clarification regarding...

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Conquering a Three-Year Old Quarantine Quagmire

Posted on 5/5/2020

my son is 3 yr and 3 month old,he was very careful and neat. recently he started to get very aggressive especially during the quarantine in the house. He has been staying home for a month now. He...

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Posted on 4/27/2020

My 4 year old Grandson told me last night...that his Moms friend gave him some sleepy medicine and gave the 2 yr old brother some....brother was in bed asleep at 7. He further informed me that it...

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Food for Thought: To Obey or not To Obey--That is the Contention

Posted on 4/22/2020

I have a 2.5 year old who isn't speaking yet but understands the word "no". She has developed a habit of throwing food. This is not something she does occasionally, but for the majority of every...

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Hitting Needs to Stop for 3 Year Old

Posted on 4/19/2020

Lately my just turned 3 year old hits a lot, but he does it playfully and often even says it, "I'm going to hit you." I am not sure how to get him to stop. We have been firm in telling him he...

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Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

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Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

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5 Y/O Does Not Fully Comply With Consequence

Posted on 4/3/2020

My younger boy, age 5 is on the ticket system. When he loses his tickets he go upstairs to his room for the rest of the day except meals. Problem is he doesn't stay in his room. He sits at the top...

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Disrespectful 15 YO Daughter

Posted on 4/3/2020

My 15yr old daughter always stomps her foot when someone in her family cough or burp. It has become worse where if I make a tiny sound clearing my throat she bangs or hits whatever she is doing. ...

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