"Parents who always go out of their way for their children eventually lose their way. "

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted 1 week ago

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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Law enforcement in school settings

Posted 3 weeks ago

What is your opinion on the use of School Resource Officers and how children and teenagers are now being arrested and/or prosecuted for both major (fighting, assault on staff, vandalism, drugs,...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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10-Year-Old Worries about Death

Posted on 1/12/2020

Hello- We have a 10 year old only child who has recently started crying and getting upset about what he will do when we die and how sad he will be. We have tried to reassure him but it’s become a...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Is Child's Threat of Suicide a Cry for Help or for Attention?

Posted on 1/9/2020

My oldest is eleven and started middle school this year. Overall it has been a smooth transition. She has a great group of friends and likes school. She does not have a phone and has very limited...

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The Age-Gap Triplicate

Posted on 1/1/2020

My kids (11-girl, 10-girl, 3-boy) were driving me crazy with all the squabbling. Especially as the 3 year old gets older. All 3 kids are on the ticket system. I’ve read a lot of the q & a on here...

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Should we cancel Christmas?

Posted on 12/16/2019

We are a family with 4 kids (13 year old boy, 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl, 4 year old girl). None of them have any electronics (since October 2019). The three older ones did have cell...

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Does a 12yo really need a cellphone?

Posted on 12/2/2019

Our 12 year old entered junior high this year and is one of only about 3 kids in his grade that I know does NOT have a cell phone. We do not think he needs one and he has finally got off our back...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Forming a United Parenting Front

Posted on 12/1/2019

Hello...fully realizing Mr Rosemond is NOT a marriage counselor I do have a question. I am 70 years old and my spouse is 49. We have a daughter, 10 years old, that is very bright (public school...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted on 11/6/2019

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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Be a Leader, Not a Suggester

Posted on 10/9/2019

Should I make my daughter do volunteer work? She needs service hours for confirmation but mostly needs an eye opener about helping others. I found a horse therapy stable that will let kids over 12...

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Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

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Homework Not A Parent Problem

Posted on 9/21/2019

Our son is in 6th grade and gets good grades. However, each night it's a struggle to get him to complete his homework. Any suggestions on how to deal with his procrastination? Thanks.

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Sleeping in your own bed.

Posted on 9/7/2019

Our 11 year old son has been afraid of sleeping in his room alone for essentially since he moved from his crib to a big bed. He and his older sister (now 13) shared a bedroom for several years...

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Rules for Smartphone Use

Posted on 8/7/2019

My 10-year-old daughter has a smartphone - I know, I know, mistake #1. Her dad is overseas, so this allows her to FaceTime him. I'm trying to backtrack here because she has no motivation to do...

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Negative thoughts about self at twelve.

Posted on 6/24/2019

My twelve year old daughter is currently doing a Bible study. She was asked to list 5 things she believed about herself. She listed all negative things. "I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'm an...

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Beating the Bullies

Posted on 6/20/2019

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

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Will Tablet Contribute to Budding Addiction?

Posted on 5/12/2019

My 11-year-old son wants a tablet. He gets great grades and we let him play some video games on his Wii. We notice he seems to be addicted. When we tell him to stop, he does what we say and...

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Nothing major.

Posted on 5/4/2019

My son is in 7th grade. He is at a new school. He has gotten into a little trouble here and there. Talking in class, nothing major. He recently said a boy in PE hit him with a ball and he hit him...

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6th Grade Boy Has Problem to Solve

Posted on 5/2/2019

My 6th-grade child has no drive. He is making poor grades, and I think we are caring too much...so he doesn’t have to care. My question is: how do we make HIM care?!

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Growing as a Goalie and Growing in Life

Posted on 4/8/2019

My 11 year old son has been playing soccer for 7 years. He has had great success in his position and is well liked by his coaches & teammates. Recently he’s been told he will likely be moved up...

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iScreen, uScreen, We all Scream 4 more Screens

Posted on 3/22/2019

Notwithstanding the answer to my preview question, my 11-year-old son exhibits an addiction to computers and we restrict his exposure because of this. Currently, we have one computer in the house...

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Sibling Conflict and Bizarre Behavior

Posted on 3/20/2019

One day at church, my husband noticed my 11 YO daughter pinching her hand when he stopped our daughters having a silent squabble in the pew. Her younger sister is 16 months younger and often they...

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Mom, Make The Next Play

Posted on 3/12/2019

I am happy to say that the meeting went well and again and my son has agreed to make some changes. He even offered what he could do to make changes. With that being said, the rules he made for...

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'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted on 3/12/2019

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

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In Control without Controlling

Posted on 3/5/2019

We seem to be stuck on screen time issues in our house. Our kids, 11 and 7 are allowed 20 min a day once they have completed all their chores. Markedly less than many children are allowed (as my...

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7 year old boy needs leadership to solve the problem

Posted on 2/20/2019

We are using the Strike System with our two children. Our seven year old boy often receives all of his strikes as he is a High Misbehaver (currently) and is sent to his room. However, he will not...

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Strategy for Grandparent involvement.

Posted on 2/13/2019

Our son left his wife and child soon after she gave birth. We've remained close to her and our grandson and we've gotten even closer since both of her parents have passed away in the past 2 years....

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Prepare to lead before leading.

Posted on 2/11/2019

My 11-year-old son tells lies and avoids the truth even when he knows he's been caught, he will argue every point he disagrees with, he will disobey punishment by simply walking away. We do not...

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The Terrible 12's

Posted on 2/7/2019

A few months have passed. This school year seems to have been a big step for my now 12 year old. We have been struggling most of the school year and just got his grades for the second quarter. The...

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Avoid Making Mountains out of Molehills

Posted on 1/18/2019

Our 12-year-old daughter is raising concerns (both ours and at least one of her teachers') with violence in her writing. Last fall she asked me to read over a fictional short story she had written...

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Eyebrows: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Posted on 12/24/2018

Recently my 12 year old daughter has started pulling out her eyebrow hairs to the point of it being extremely noticeable. Says she is aware she is doing it but can’t seem to stop. She can not...

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Fears about son's fears.

Posted on 12/15/2018

My son just turned 12 and was once such a happy child. Now he asks me questions that I’m not sure how to answer. He says he is not happy and doesn’t feel like he belongs in his body. He thinks...

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Put some Harsh in their Mellow

Posted on 12/7/2018

Our son recently turned 11. Having just finished "Parenting by the book" and almost done "Teenproofing" I am certain we started too late with "Gramma's rules" while we fumbled through time outs,...

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The Headless Choresmen

Posted on 12/7/2018

Having completed "Parenting by the Book" , I sadly realize I have done my children no favors by doing so much for them. They are now 7 and 11 and need to be reminded to do every little thing. We...

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Caution: Child in Charge

Posted on 12/6/2018

Our recently-turned 11-year-old boy is really hating school this year. He seems to think he knows what he needs to learn for his future and the rest is a waste of his time. He is a very bright...

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11 year old not paying attention to parents

Posted on 12/6/2018

I just reviewed a questions from another subscriber using a ticket system with a 7 year old to nip multiple behaviors in the bud. In the answer I read "You cannot disciple or discipline a child...

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Exposure to Exposure

Posted on 9/26/2018

Hello. I read so many articles about what to do after a child or teen has been exposed and then becomes addicted to pornography. What are some steps to protect my child from interacting with...

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Teen Proofing with Cell Phones

Posted on 9/12/2018

I am currently reading John's book Teen Proofing. In chapter 3 he discusses the six C-words, curfew, cash, car, cohorts, conflict, and consequences. He gives detailed explanations of how he and...

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13 year old abusing computer privileges

Posted on 8/28/2018

I'm having a technology issue with my almost 13 year old. We have placed guidelines and restrictions on her computer use but she continues to abuse her privileges. She went all summer with no...

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Middle School Behaviors

Posted on 8/23/2018

Is there a section on this site for teachers? Where can I find information about dealing with behaviors in a school setting specifically middle school?

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Screen time is all up to you!

Posted on 8/13/2018

I am at my wits end with screen time and Fort Night. I try and stay by a limited number of minutes and it’s never enough and always ends up in a huge battle . I give him an hour he takes five...

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Nip Out-of-Control Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 7/31/2018

How do I apply John Rosemond's recommendations with three completely out-of-control boys (ages 5, 7, 9)? They don't follow any of the rules, regard all property in the house as their own (tools,...

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Reining in Mouthy Eleven Year Old

Posted on 7/9/2018

Hello, John and coaches, I really need help with my eleven year old. She just is so mentally exhausting to me and my husband. She is extremely strong willed and argues everything with me. I am...

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Okay to Throw the Game Plan out the Window?

Posted on 7/8/2018

My husband is a sports nut....I am NOT. To his credit, he sees the insanity kids' sports has become and tends to be very level headed about things. Our 11 year old son plays rec (not the super...

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Preparing children for Grandma's death

Posted on 7/1/2018

We have a 2.5 year old and a 5.5 year old; also have a niece and nephew that are 7 and 11 years old. My mother is dying of a terminal cancer and is now on hospice. We have been slowly telling the...

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Following up with 12 y/o's Sensitivity Issues

Posted on 6/27/2018

Thank you for your response to my question about my 12 year old daughters sensitivity "issues". Later that day, she threw a huge fit over her smart phone and computer as well as us not...

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