"How do you get a child to do what he's told the first time he's told? Don't ever repeat yourself. "

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Tattling

Posted 5 days ago

We are still using the ticket system with our children (ages 10, 13, 13, 15) even though we want to eventually move away from it and begin to think along the lines of parenting teens. For now, do...

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Setting the Expectation for Better Grades

Posted 1 week ago

My 11 yr old son has very average grades. He had 2 C's on his report card, and I did not pressure him or get involved with his schoolwork very much this past 6th grade year. Should I create more...

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No interest in extracurricular activities.

Posted 1 week ago

My 11 year old son does not want to participate in any extra curricular activities. He wants to attend school and that is all. I have tried to get him interested in sports, but he starts crying...

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Implementing the principles of leadership parenting.

Posted 2 weeks ago

We have 2 boys, ages 9 and 11. Our youngest is disrespectful, disobedient, uses unkind words with his older sibling and throws tantrums/damaging things in our home. His disobedience is constant....

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Block System Dilemma

Posted on 5/8/2018

Our boys do not stay in their rooms when they are told to and repeatedly come out until they work their way to an early bedtime and then continue coming out often times loud and disruptive until...

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The Better Half

Posted on 4/19/2018

I have 2 step-daughters, ages 11 and 8, who spend half of their time with us and half with their mom. We don’t allow them to use any form of social media and have explained to them the dangers....

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The Extracurricular Activities Freight Train

Posted on 4/17/2018

I'm trying to put a slow down on the extracurricular activities by asking them to choose one or two. How much input should they be allowed in deciding which ones? For example, I think they need...

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The Self Esteem Monster

Posted on 4/10/2018

It seems lately I'm constantly trying to undo the last 10 years worth of damage that I've created. I take full responsibility for that but the question is always how. My daughters 12 and 9 have...

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Addressing Self Esteem

Posted on 4/4/2018

It seems lately I'm constantly trying to undo the last 10 years worth of damage that I've created. I take full responsibility for that but the question is always how. My daughters 12 and 9 have...

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No Clear Cut Answer for When to Blend a Family

Posted on 3/27/2018

hi there I have been dating my BF for about a year. I have never been around his kids yet although they do know of me and our children used to be friends before they moved away. My bf has spent a...

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Sass in the Second Stage

Posted on 3/12/2018

Hello, I'm confused about why in the second stage of parenting, ages 10 to 13, it appears that if a child yells at their parents or is disrespectful, there is an immediate consequence. For...

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An 11-year old Queen?

Posted on 2/21/2018

I home school our 11 year old daughter. She refuses to do any work if she does not feel like it. I will send her to her room and she will not go. I inform her that there will be a consequence if...

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11 yro having trouble following directions

Posted on 2/16/2018

The private school my children attend requires the use of tablets instead of books. My son has had trouble using it properly. It was stripped of all access to games and online media; however, he...

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Teens and Supplements

Posted on 2/15/2018

I am really enjoying John's book, Teen Proofing! Thanks, John! We have a brand new 12-year-old boy who has switched over from being kind, thoughtful, and sweet to being disrespectful,...

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Disobedient, Defiant Sixth Grader

Posted on 2/7/2018

We have an 11-yr-old son who is disobedient and defiant. He simply won't do what he is told to do. He is chronically late getting ready for school, often telling us he isn't going (6th grade...

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Indulging an adopted son.

Posted on 2/6/2018

Hi There. We have a 12 year old son whom we adopted at birth. After many years of waiting, we just adopted a newborn girl. Our son loves her very much and is very loving towards her. But, he...

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12 year old yelling regarding punishments

Posted on 2/1/2018

This is a follow up to the question on 10-17-17 concerning "yelling" from our 12 yr. old. I have thought over your response and realize my question was rushed and unclear. We have all the...

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Character training

Posted on 1/29/2018

After listening to John’s podcast “The pursuit of happiness” I wondered about some of the practical how to’s of discipling not only the behavior of our 12,10,2 1/2 year old boys but also the way...

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Moving Towards Leadership Parenting

Posted on 1/10/2018

I'm a single mom of three. 14 yr boy, 11 yr boy/girl twins. My daughter seems to do everything to NOT do what I ask her to do. She eventually does it, but not before struggling to stand up or...

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Punishment for all?

Posted on 12/22/2017

I have a question about do not disturb the family peace. I want to start this with my 2 boys age 11 and 12 because they are always fighting. My 8 year old daughter generally stays out of all...

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Objecting to a step-family.

Posted on 12/3/2017

I have been divorced almost 6 years and the only man I have ever dated has asked me to marry him. We have been dating 3.5 years and each have two children, ages 9 and 12. My 12 yo is really...

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Post-Medication Depression?

Posted on 12/1/2017

My son was on Ritalin for 11 years before he no longer decided to stop taking it. After he stopped taking it he had many periods in which he had depression which he could not really explain. By no...

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Teens dealing with "a constant barrage of negative things"

Posted on 11/18/2017

Hello! This is not exactly a child-rearing question but it pertains to everything about being a parent. How do we keep from drowning in the pain we witness our children going through? I have a...

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parents and 12 yo boy in conflict over choice of school

Posted on 11/15/2017

My children 12, 11, 8 have gone to Catholic school since Kindergarten. My 12 year old son is in 7th and we are starting to think about HS. There are only 3 in our area. #1 is an all boys college...

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Screaming can be extinguished.

Posted on 10/17/2017

So, we have a twelve yr. old daughter who has begun to yell about anything and everything she doesn't like. Yells at her siblings, yells at our instruction/decisions...etc. At what point do we...

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Old School Blues

Posted on 10/5/2017

My daughters were homeschooled, public schooled, homeschooled again, and back in public school right down the street. They were pretty happy with school but the oldest was always hard to get out...

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11 yr old lost all her blocks on chart!!!

Posted on 10/1/2017

My wife and I have an 11 year old and 9 year old daughter. We kicked our 9 year old out of the garden several weeks ago for school and home behavior issues. Our 11 year was put on weekly charts...

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Excessive Complaining

Posted on 9/19/2017

My question is about my thirteen-year-old daughter and her constant complaining whenever she's asked to do something that she doesn't want to do. She will get emotional and complain and argue, and...

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13 year old, 5 year old Squabbles

Posted on 9/9/2017

Hi ☺my question is about sibling conflict between my thirteen-year-old daughter and five-year-old son. They are constantly fighting! And they are basically just rude and disrespectful towards each...

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11 yr old Effort and Responsibility

Posted on 9/6/2017

I am the Dad of an 11 year old (6th grade). She is not giving good effort at school. My wife and I have told her it is her responsibility and she needs to get help from the teachers, study...

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Should Mom address home behavior or Math grade first?

Posted on 9/2/2017

Our 11 yr old daughter (6th grade) has some small/medium behaviors at home we would like to get under control with a Weekly Chart, but also is having trouble in Math at school (C)...other subjects...

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11 Year Old Is Disrespectful And "Plays the Victim"

Posted on 8/23/2017

My 11 year old daughter is playing the victim. Nothing is ever her fault and she takes no responsibility for anything. She's petulant, disrespectful and downright rude to peers, coaches, adults...

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Bullying or Belittling?

Posted on 8/10/2017

Sibling Bullying vs. Belittling Our 12 and 10 ½ year old sons are very different kids. We call the oldest “the lawyer.” He’s an over-achiever, good in sports, and highly...

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!1 Year Old Trouble Adjusting

Posted on 7/22/2017

My son is 11 yo. He has autism. Tonight he told me that he should not live because he will never be able to achieve his dreams, that he will not be able to have a wife and children because he...

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PreTeen Lying and Sneaking Food

Posted on 6/21/2017

A 12 yr. old female is sneaking food which is not healthy for her as she' s on a gluten, soy, dairy free diet and then lying about it. Lying has also become a problem in itself. She's...

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11-yr-old tummy troubles or just seeking attention?

Posted on 6/17/2017

Our 11 year old daughter began expressing stomach discomfort in early spring (i.e. VERY frequent complaining). In the absence of obvious illness (diarrhea, pain in night w/disrupted sleep, etc..),...

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Tweens Disrespectful Brats

Posted on 6/12/2017

It is the first day of summer vacation. I have a 9 and 11 year old boy. I work part time from home. My plan for the summer was to brainstorm a summer bucket list with them and then schedule some...

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Son Destroys Everything in Room During Punishment

Posted on 6/9/2017

When we send our son to his bedroom for punishment, he starts to destroy everything in the room. We tried other punishments but nothing seems to phase him. If we take away his limited screen...

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11 yr old depression/self harm

Posted on 5/21/2017

Today our son (11, homeschooled) was nowhere to be found after a church luncheon. He was outside hiding behind the garage. When spotted he ran off the property, and he was chased by his dad and...

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9 year wants to know how woman get pregnant

Posted on 5/17/2017

I have a soon to be 9 year old adopted daughter (who was adopted at birth) that is starting to ask a lot of questions about how a woman gets pregnant. She is adamant that she wants to adopt...

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Son Obsessed with Pokemon

Posted on 5/17/2017

Hello! Our son is obsessed! Obsessed with one thing at a time to the point of not completing school work to do it. Right now it's Pokemon. He has a screen time limit - one 30 min show after...

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9 year old has tantrums & hits and bites the teacher

Posted on 5/15/2017

9 year old is second of 4 children all of which are very intelligent. This 9 year old started throwing temper tantrums at home and school in Kindergarten. He was put in IEP because of behavior...

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11 yo, Depressed, Won't Do School Work

Posted on 5/15/2017

We read him the riot act and lowered the boom. It's the first time our son (11) has been grounded. He has been refusing to do his school work. He sits and stares at his math book for hours, even...

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Pre-Teen's New Found Rigidity

Posted on 5/1/2017

My 11-year-old boy will some days be extremely legalistic. This morning he said he needed to read the Bible for 13 million hours, look up a YouTube video to know how to make his bed perfectly, not...

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Authority Issues with a 12 year old

Posted on 4/19/2017

My 12 year old girl has a real issue with her authority, she talks back when asked to do anything that she does not want to do. My mother-in-law, My husband and I are continually having to talk...

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Grumpy 11 year old woes.

Posted on 4/17/2017

We home school our 11 and 8 year old sons. Have done so all the way through, except for one year of Christian school. We have been having problems especially with our 11-year-old, being grumpy,...

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Squabbling Sisters

Posted on 4/4/2017

Hello. I have 9 and 11-YO daughters. I was so excited to have two girls and envisioned them being best friends growing up together. Not the case. They fight all the time and my 11-YO has become...

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Tug of war with an 11 year old.

Posted on 3/31/2017

My 11 year old daughter's grades have plummeted. She is capable but unmotivated. It started as one late assignment here or there and has now become out of control. She now has F's and a D and has...

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What's a School Counselor to Do?

Posted on 3/13/2017

Hi John, I'm a K-12 School Counselor and schools today have many challenges. One of them involves working with kids in junior high and high school who are failing, school is not working for...

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Punishment terms

Posted on 3/2/2017

Son is 11. History of physically injuring mother. Most recent incident - juvenile court involved. Is 2 months an adequate punishment? I know he will mess up and it will be longer, but wanting to...

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