"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

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Do What You Can Do

Posted 3 days ago

My stepsons are 12 and 14. We also have a 4 and 2 year old. Their mother has been generally uncooperative and at times hostile to us, and treats the boys very differently. She doesn’t seem to like...

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8-Year-Old Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Posted 2 weeks ago

Sometimes my 8 year old is lovely and I feel so proud of him. Other times like today, I am speechless, humiliated, overwhelmed and defeated. I picked my son up from boys brigades and he was...

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

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Lock Up

Posted on 6/15/2021

I am reading through John’s terrific 2 book and he mentions using child locks on kitchen cabinet doors etc but I am in rented accommodation and not allowed to put fitted child locks on the kitchen...

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Teaching Respect

Posted on 6/13/2021

My twin 6-year olds (one boy, one girl) are pretty good kids most of the time. But recently we’ve been struggling. They listen and obey my husband and I, but they don’t listen to other adults....

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Hang in There!

Posted on 6/1/2021

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

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Nine Year Old Drama

Posted on 5/22/2021

I'm worried about my daughter who's 9 years old. She is overly concerned with what people think of her. She gets easily embarrassed and is highly sensitive. I feel like she feels everyone doesn't...

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Delaying Consequences - A Good Option for Mom

Posted on 5/2/2021

When my son is not being obedient, I say, "You have until the count of three or - insert consequences from his actions, i.e., “You won’t be going to go to the playground after preschool.” He...

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Time for a Potty Training Reset

Posted on 4/13/2021

We are currently attempting to potty train our 21-month-old boy. It has been almost one month of training and we are having almost zero success with getting him to sit on the potty to pee or poop....

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Should Parents Start Naked & $75 Before or After they Move?

Posted on 4/8/2021

My son, who is 20 months old has stomach issues with constipation. On average he is constipated about two times a month at least. We are starting potty training this weekend, and we are worried...

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Mom Wants to Put a Lid on Potty Talk

Posted on 4/7/2021

My 5 year old son has frequently been using the following words out of context: butt, fart, toot, booger etc. He gets on these trash talking rants. He’s laughing and joking most of the time....

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Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

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Put and End to Nagging Over Chores

Posted on 3/4/2021

Would love some feedback on chores for my 6 and 8 year olds. Every Saturday they are expected to each clean their own mirror and sink in the bathroom, clean either the play room or their bedroom...

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Meltdowns, Scratches, and Wrestling Matches: Dealing With the Brothers 3

Posted on 3/1/2021

Over the past year, we have spent more time together as a family at home. While some of this has been good, we have also seen conflict between our oldest boys, ages 4 and 6, increase. Sometimes...

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How To Deal With Constant Complaining

Posted on 2/26/2021

I have seen a rise in grumbling, complaining, arguing (with each other and with us) from our older boys, ages 4 and 6. I submitted a separate question about the conflict between the boys, but...

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Knowing When and How to Use Time-Out With Toddler

Posted on 2/22/2021

Hello, I just asked a question the other day about toddler hitting, pushing, etc. When he does this, he is not having a tantrum. He is actually laughing. I was suggested to implement a time...

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When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted on 2/16/2021

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

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2-Year-Old's Aggressive Behavior Is Unacceptable

Posted on 2/15/2021

Hello! I have two kids. Boy: Almost 3 (in May) Girl: 1 and 2 months old Boy is hitting girl, knocks her over and laughs when he does it. How can I approach this adequately?

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Agony Principle explained

Posted on 2/15/2021

My husband and I are so encouraged by the information we are reading in your book "The Well Disciplined Child". Could you elaborate on the Agony Principle in regards to confining our 7 year old...

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Logic and a 4 Year Old Don't Go Together!

Posted on 2/12/2021

My 4 year old daughter is scared and I'm wondering if it's something we should be concerned about. She goes to bed fine (sleeps with the covers over her head because of her fears) but she ends up...

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Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

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Mom Struggles to Not Repeat Her Own Childhood Trauma

Posted on 1/25/2021

Dr Rosemond provides incredible advice for parents on ignoring psychobabble parenting advice, but I am just wondering what advice Dr Rosemond would give to parents who were neglected and...

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It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

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Task avoider

Posted on 1/13/2021

Hi, John and Team! My husband and I cannot get our 17 yo old son to complete the most basic of tasks regarding his room! On a daily basis, we expect him to make his bed, keep dirty clothes in...

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Getting Tough With 8-Year Olds Behaviors

Posted on 1/13/2021

Me again! I feel like I’m asking weekly questions during this season of parenting. I’ve written about my sneaky 8-year old and I just need some clarification. I’ve read The Well-Behaved Child and...

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Discipline Now, Get Along Later

Posted on 1/10/2021

My husband and our 4 year old daughter do not "get along" very well and today we found out we are having our 3rd child that is another girl! (We have one boy, and now two girls). Does John have...

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Fostering responsible decision making in your teen

Posted on 12/29/2020

Dear Mr. John. My almost fourteen years old is a very musical talented boy. He can play piano and guitar by ear. However, he barely play the instruments, or practice enough to learn a complete...

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Respect isn't Optional

Posted on 12/26/2020

Hello- I am so glad I subscribed to Parent Guru! I love reading all the questions/answers!! So I have a 9 year old son and unfortunately his father and I have divorced. I moved (with my son)...

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Attention Addict at 3

Posted on 12/21/2020

Our 3.5 year old daughter’s behavior is very out of control when we visit relatives. She thinks it’s her opportunity to get as much attention from the adults as she possibly can (especially...

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Don't Ask, Do Tell

Posted on 12/16/2020

My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...

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She needs to stop talking.

Posted on 12/9/2020

Hello. Our recently turned 5 year old daughter talks nonstop, if we let her. She is very extroverted and appears to verbalize every thought that comes into her mind. Valid questions and...

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Creating Space

Posted on 11/14/2020

Hello. I have 5 children (8, 6.5, 5, 3 & 3). We have the 8 yr old in her own room, but the 6.5yr and 5 yr olds share one room and the twin 3 yr olds share another room. What type of advice do...

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It's Her Problem to Solve

Posted on 11/14/2020

My daughter is struggling in school since grade 2. She's in French immersion. She has failed three tests in a row so far because she didn't study for them.. Her teacher says that she seems to...

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Children's Currency

Posted on 11/14/2020

Any advice on what discipline system is best used for children in school most of the day? My two oldest (8 & 6.5 girls) could use more "ticketed days," but they are at school from 7:30 - 3:30...

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Toddler seems angered by the potty

Posted on 11/2/2020

Hi! We’ve been potty training for going on four months now. Daughter is 23 months. She has days where she goes accident free and then others where it’s 100% accident. The past few weeks she seems...

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Normal? Problem? Normal Problem?

Posted on 10/31/2020

Hello! I'm worried about my almost-14-YO daughter. Her grades remain good and she is still on her soccer team. She does not have a smartphone or tablet. Our wifi is off every night starting at 10...

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10 Year Old Regresses in Behavior

Posted on 10/30/2020

My son is 10 years old and is going through a major regression. He knows all of the rules and has been doing great but with some recent changes to his schedule he's falling right back to where he...

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Potty Training Isn’t the Same for Each Child

Posted on 10/25/2020

I began potty training my second son 6 days ago. He is so different than my first! Help! He doesn't seem too concerned about messes. He simply says "Uh-oh" and keeps on playing. When I say "Go sit...

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Exhausted Mom of 11-Year-Old Needs Help

Posted on 10/19/2020

I am a mother of an 11yr old daughter. I am a wife and caregiver to a disabled Veteran with mental and physical health problems. My faith is the only thing keeping me going right now. I am having...

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How To Apply Discipline Techniques While Not at Home

Posted on 10/19/2020

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the "three strikes" method with...

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Sibling Warfare

Posted on 10/2/2020

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

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Normal Kindergarten Boy

Posted on 9/21/2020

Our 5-year-old is struggling in kindergarten because of behavior. He runs around the classroom instead of staying in his seat, refuses to stay quiet (shouts) when the teacher is teaching and...

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