"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

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Hands Off!

Posted 2 days ago

My 7 year is always making stupid annoying loud noises and shouting and he keeps doing this in his 8 month old sisters face. He also constantly grabs her hands and smothers her. They seem to get...

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6 Strikes in 1 At-bat

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi John, my 9yr old daughter has taken to raising her voice, screaming, arguing, sarcasm and just downright disrespect when things aren't going her way. We have a target misbehavior chart and she...

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Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted 4 weeks ago

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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Teaching 3 year old to listen the first time.

Posted on 2/9/2020

Is the targeted behavior (for the ticket system) “Refusing to do what we tell you to do” too general for 3.25 year old twins? We want to stomp out their habit of giving us push back/delaying/...

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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How to Tame the Whining

Posted on 1/29/2020

My 5-year-old has regressed with his whining. His baby brother is going through his terrible 2’s, and I’m not sure if he’s trying to copy that behavior. I am presently trying to send him to his...

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Lower the Boom on School Misbehavior

Posted on 1/22/2020

Our seven year old got sent to the principles office today for telling another student "I'm going to kill you". He was already one night into a three night bout of being banished to his room due...

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Little Victories

Posted on 1/16/2020

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

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6 Year Old Laughs When She Gets In Trouble

Posted on 1/13/2020

Good Morning, We have been using the ticket system and it's worked well. I have a 6 year old girl, who seems to have thrived from it until recently. Now when she loses a ticket she says "i...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Hold Me! Never Let Me Go!

Posted on 1/8/2020

My daughter (age 2) demands to be held an excessive amount. By "excessive amount", I mean hours in a row. The more holding I give her, the more she demands. She gets furious when put down before...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Bump in the Road

Posted on 12/3/2019

My son is 4 years old and lately has been having trouble sleeping. He gets up several times a night and wants me to sleep with him. I have been divorced for 1 year and have joint custody with my...

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Forming a United Parenting Front

Posted on 12/1/2019

Hello...fully realizing Mr Rosemond is NOT a marriage counselor I do have a question. I am 70 years old and my spouse is 49. We have a daughter, 10 years old, that is very bright (public school...

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Put Parenting Anxiety to Rest

Posted on 11/30/2019

I have been following John Rosemond podcasts for a while now and everything he says tends to make sense and sit well with me. However, I am lacking so much common sense in parenting having come...

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Mom needs to wake up

Posted on 11/25/2019

I’ve read the question “Resetting the dial” - while we don’t have a big family, we do want to start having some family rules e.g. Come when you are called, do not disturb the family peace, getting...

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Reservations about Resetting the Dial

Posted on 11/21/2019

This question is for Sharon Lamberth: Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply regarding my family's discipline situation. I agree that my husband and I need to do the things you suggested,...

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted on 11/6/2019

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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Train Him Up

Posted on 10/24/2019

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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Tickets for 3 year olds?

Posted on 10/17/2019

We started the ticket system with our three and 5 year old boys about two months ago. I feel like our 3 year old may be too young for it. The afternoons are particularly rough because he has...

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Be the Alpha Female

Posted on 10/10/2019

Our 5 yo son is very well-behaved at school (he just started kindergarten 6 weeks ago) but his behavior has worsened by extremes at home. Especially at bedtime, if I don't snuggle him in his bed...

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Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

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Disrespectful 7-Year-Old

Posted on 10/2/2019

We are using the discipline strategies taught in Well-Behaved Child. I home school 7 and 5 year old boys. My 7 year old responds to me with disrespectful remarks. For example: "You are so mean, I...

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Toddlers in "Time Out" can create More "Tired Out" Parents

Posted on 10/2/2019

For a 2 year old who is able to climb out of a playpen (and makes a game of it if the parent tries to keep them in), what else would make a suitable time-out area? We live in a rented...

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Too Many Expectations for 9-Year-Old

Posted on 9/25/2019

My daughter is 9, she is very respectful (although disobeying and arguing are not respectful) and has great manners ("yes ma'am", "yes, sir"). She has given me a run for my money her whole life...

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Grandparent Etiquette

Posted on 9/15/2019

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

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Sleeping in your own bed.

Posted on 9/7/2019

Our 11 year old son has been afraid of sleeping in his room alone for essentially since he moved from his crib to a big bed. He and his older sister (now 13) shared a bedroom for several years...

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3 y/o Drama Queen

Posted on 9/5/2019

Every time we have to say goodbye to my 3 year old's friend, she cries like it's the end of the world and has a fit... We go on nightly walks with them and I have stopped because I do not want to...

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When Food Issues Become Power Struggles

Posted on 9/5/2019

I asked a question about my 8 year old sneaking sweets - we have since carried out your suggestions - but it is not working. She looks for other ways to get sweets. We allowed her to buy some cup...

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Wrestle Mania

Posted on 9/3/2019

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

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Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted on 8/30/2019

My husband and I recently legally adopted our six and half year old nephew who has been living with us since he was 2.5. He did not know us prior to him coming to live with us. He comes from a...

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Wild Child

Posted on 8/17/2019

We recently started he ticket system with our 3 and 5 year old children. It has worked well with our 5 year old but our three year old has lost all his tickets multiple times. Often, the loss of...

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6 year old's disrespect reaches new heights

Posted on 7/17/2019

Hello. Starting in the last two weeks, my 6-year old daughter has ratcheted up her disrespectful tone, language, and behavior to an awful degree. If I ask her what is going on with her she blames...

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Trouble with Transitions at Preschool

Posted on 7/10/2019

A follow up to my previous question... we have had several informal conferences with the director of my 3 y/o son’s preschool. It seems like everything is fine until he is asked to do something...

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Great-grandparents who now parent.

Posted on 7/3/2019

what are the first steps in teaching a 6 yr. old boy how to entertain himself. For the last 3 years we have been raising our 6 yr old great grandson due to drug problems with his parents and...

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No Gun Play at School!

Posted on 6/21/2019

My 6-year-old keeps pretending he has a gun at school. We just got a second note from the school that our son was pretending to play with a gun (made out of paper) at school and scaring other...

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4 and 5 year old brothers tag team Mom

Posted on 6/12/2019

My older boy, age 5 has been on the ticket system for about 9 months. He starts the day with 3 tickets and his misbehaviors are screaming at us and not obeying us. My younger boy, 4 has recently...

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The 2 Year Old Bedtime Staller

Posted on 5/15/2019

Hi! My 22 month old daughter had started displaying stalling tactics to avoid bedtime and other undesirable activities. She wants to kiss all her toys goodnight, attempts to give more kisses and...

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Hop off the Argument Merry Go Round

Posted on 5/5/2019

Hi there, My almost 5-year-old has come a long way from his 3-year-old self. I suppose maturity helps. He's no longer throwing tantrums (a.k.a crying loudly) or hitting when he doesn't get his...

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Teacher Emails and When to Request a Conference

Posted on 5/1/2019

Hello, I received this email from my daughter's teacher today and am seeking your guidance. This all seems to have been precipitated by a tick bite (her first) that we took care of last week,...

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Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted on 4/13/2019

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

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