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Technology, Discipline, and Schoolwork

Posted 4 weeks ago

I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12-year-old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given via...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Homework, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, School Issues

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Technology and the Preteen Boy

Posted on 4/26/2023

Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Education, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Homework, John's Discipline Methods, Middle School, Parent Leadership and Authority, School Issues

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Making Tickets Work

Posted on 3/2/2023

Hello - My wife and I have loved "The Well-Behaved Child". We implemented the ticketing for a 4 year old daughter and have noticed some improvements but there is more work to do. The consistent...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

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Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Tantrums

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Does Chicken Little Make You a Little Chicken? A Four-Year Old's Tantrumizing

Posted on 12/29/2022

Constant power struggle with 4-year old. Our 4 year old son’s behavior has done a complete 180 within the last couple of weeks only at home. Preschool and daycare is constantly telling us he’s...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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Fears, Five Year Olds, and the Doctor

Posted on 12/12/2022

My daughter, age 5 1/2 recently started acting irrational. She refuses to get in the car and will unbuckle herself and jump out. This behavior started a week ago when she refused to sleep in her...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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The Doctor is In

Posted on 11/29/2022

Help! Our daughter is 5 and has become defiant and disobedient. For example she will come to us and say "I know I'm not supposed to (enter action) but I did." She said she's being truthful by...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods

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Pest Control

Posted on 11/17/2022

Our 5-year-old daughter has come a long way with her behavior in the last year, but the top two biggest issues still are 1) her never ending pestering and annoying. She pesters and annoys those...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents, Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families, Tantrums

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Time to Reel In 5-Year-Old

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 5 year old who has come a long way with behavior but lately hasn't been great at listening when told to do something. She will almost pretend we didn't say it or will just say "I will in...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Sometimes all you need is a hug and a dutch door.

Posted on 8/13/2022

When my 4 year old son loses all his privileges for the day, we cannot get him to stay in his room. What is something we can try? We calmly put him back in his room each time he runs out, but it...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Get Creative

Posted on 7/24/2022

Greetings! Our usually cheerful and happy 4yo daughter does not seem to react normally to punishment. At first she gets upset and cries, but very shortly into a time out or being sent to her room...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Spanking

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Ticket System questions

Posted on 6/22/2022

I have some questions regarding the ticket system for a 3.5 year old. 1. What if he loses all of his tickets at the end of the day? One time he lost his last ticket but it was right before...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Spanking

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3-Year-Old in Hyper Mode

Posted on 6/22/2022

My 3.5 year old will get hyper and annoying when he is overtired or overexcited. When he’s in a “hyper mode”, he’s running around, trying to roughhouse, jumping into people, being loud and...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Preschool, Socialization/Social Skills

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Don't Dis R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 6/13/2022

Our 8 year old has grown increasingly disrespectful. He is perfect respectful to adults like teachers and parents of his friends, so it is primarily an issue at home. Often the disrespect is...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Respect, Sibling Conflict

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Two Year Old Being Terrible

Posted on 6/9/2022

My 2.5 year old in the past week has been extremely irritable, refusing to eat almost anything that isn’t Mac and cheese, and has reverted back to taking 2 naps a day. Tantrums and screaming are...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Terrible Twos

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The Terrible Threes: Taking a Powder with the Doctor

Posted on 5/25/2022

Threenagers worse than the terrible twos? My 3.5 yr old daughter is very disrespectful toward myself and my husband. She's frequently whining, throwing tantrums, and during those tantrums...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Tantrums

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Bedtime Monsters

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 9 year old won’t go to bed at night, constantly crying about monsters etc which has never been an issue before. It seems to be one thing after the other. If he could sleep in my bed he would...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Let 3-Year-Old Know You Mean Business!

Posted on 4/19/2022

My child is 3 and a half and has started talking back and hitting. Putting him in his room doesn't help. He comes right out. Suggestions?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, High School, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Teenage Issues

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Don't bite off more than you can chew

Posted on 4/8/2022

I have a tickets question. Is it still workable to use tickets on three different children and use two target misbehavior issues? I could even reduce it to two children, but I was thinking it...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: John's Discipline Methods

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Middle of the Night Snacks Prolonging Mealtime Battles

Posted on 3/20/2022

In September I asked for advice on my picky 2-year-old. For 6 months, I have consistently tried the methods recommended. I didn't fuss over meals, just gave him small amounts of whatever I made,...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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It's Not About the Makeup: Time for a Garden Kick

Posted on 3/20/2022

15-year old daughter very obsessed with make-up. Used our Amazon account to buy makeup Products without our knowing till I looked up order history. Took away all her makeup products, went...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Teenage Issues

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Wake-Up Call Needed ASAP

Posted on 3/20/2022

Our 9-year-old is perfectly functional in a school setting (no issues with socializing, is meeting most benchmarks, is polite and caring). At home and when we are in public as a family, it is...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Deconstructing the Monster: the 3D's at age 10

Posted on 3/3/2022

We are ready to reset with our 10-year-old son so that he understands we mean what we say and even more, understands consequences. How do we do that in a way that will work (sort of feeling like...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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How To Keep Your Child in His/Her Room

Posted on 2/1/2022

We are trying the ticket system with our 3 yr old son. Tonight, he went to bed early after throwing something at me (a major offense). At first we left his bedroom door open but he kept coming out...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Posted on 1/30/2022

We have a 10 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. Our daughter has a genetic disease and is mildly delayed in language and cognitive skills, but she attends school and is in a regular...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Sibling Conflict

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Conquering 3-Year-Old's Ups and Downs (otherwise known as 'Bedtime Avoidance')

Posted on 1/30/2022

Any good ideas how to limit the I need a drink, I need to potty, I need....bedtime avoidance for 3 year olds?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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You're in Charge Now

Posted on 1/21/2022

Okay so I’m ready to administer a discipline plan for my daughter. My questions are; 1. How much is too much? I’m ready to take a lot of her favorite things away. But, what about life...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

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Silly Bedtime Brothers

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our older two boys, 5 and 7, go crazy at bedtime. They are silly, which is fine, but in being silly they make messes and are often disrespectful. After going to bed, we can hear them laughing and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play

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Importance of Presenting a United Parenting Front

Posted on 1/2/2022

This may be a complicated question: I have a question about my and my husband's parenting styles. I come from a conservative background, my parents were old school and traditional. Lots of...

Ages: No Specific Age, Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Marriage Issues, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Shy 7 Year Old

Posted on 12/31/2021

My 7 year old first-grader has trouble joining into social situations. He plays well with his 5 year old brother, but with peers, he goes off on his own, and will tell stories to himself (I...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Self-Esteem, Shyness, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Socialization/Social Skills

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Frustrating Food Drama with 5-Year-Old

Posted on 12/28/2021

My 5 year old says she’s hungry often during the day. When I offer her options she doesn’t want any of them. It’s getting quite frustrating, especially at bedtime.

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Parent Leadership and Authority

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I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

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Clarifying the Garden Kick

Posted on 12/4/2021

Does kicking out of the garden mean the child is confined to their new boring room for the duration of the time? Do you restrict them from playing outside with sibblings or friends? Can they...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Teenage Issues

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Leave Christmas Alone

Posted on 11/27/2021

Currently my daughter has lost all her toys until her behavior improves. If she hasn’t changed her behavior by Christmas, is it wrong not to allow her to open presents on Christmas Day but require...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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8-Year-Old Ruling the Roost

Posted on 11/18/2021

Our 8 year old daughter is very challenging. Disrespectful. Her response to small inconveniences or demands is disproportionate/ over exaggerated to say the least. Rude to other children, when...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Nip It. Nip It Good.

Posted on 11/17/2021

Hi ParentGuru, I have a question about our 5yr old son who has come home from prep (1st year of primary school here in Melbourne Australia) after an incident in which he threw another student's...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Tantrums

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Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Keep Potty Training Positive- Don't Punish For Accidents

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs 10mo old. We potty trained her 9 months ago using the “naked and $75” method from John Rosemond’s book Toilet Training Without Tantrums. Potty training clicked with her...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Toilet Training

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Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Homeschooling, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

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Bossy 4-Year-Old Not Giving Up

Posted on 10/30/2021

Four year old thinks he’s the boss. He’s physically abusive, has no respect for anyone’s sleep including his two younger brothers and is completely defiant. Everything is an argument. Once...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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Welcome to the Terrible Twos!

Posted on 10/21/2021

My just turned two year old was always an excellent sleeper after 4 months old, happily going to bed and staying there even through transition to adult bed. The past 4 days he has refused to lay...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Terrible Twos

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Little Liar

Posted on 10/21/2021

My 3.5 year old daughter has begun to lie all the time. She was always more prone to lying than her older brother, but lately it has been taken to the extreme. I have read Dr. Rosemond’s books and...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Parent Leadership and Authority

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19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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Define "Disciplined"

Posted on 9/23/2021

Whenever we have friends or family over or we’re at an event with other kids our 4 year old daughter very rarely engages in playing with the children and constantly wants to be where the adults...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Socialization/Social Skills

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Getting Started on the Ticket System

Posted on 9/14/2021

At what age is it appropriate to do 2 sets of tickets? One for sibling conflict and one for personal? How long should I wait to start their personal ones? We just started sibling conflict about a...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

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The Doctor Can Help!

Posted on 9/1/2021

Our middle child, a 5 year old boy, has intense emotions. We have (re)started the ticket system with him and his older brother, and he consistently loses tickets after school in the car. We have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

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