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How to effectively delay consequences for 5,6 yros

Posted 1 week ago

I’m struggling to understand how to enact delayed consequences as described in The “Nipping” Principle and could use some suggestions. It’s easy enough to do while on errands as both my 5 and...

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Leadership is always Plan A!

Posted on 6/15/2018

For the past couple of years, my husband and I have been using "charts" with our two kids, now ages 7 (girl) and 9 (boy). The charts were used primarily for when the kids "forgot" to do their...

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5 year old in boring bedroom is enough

Posted on 6/13/2018

I've recently read "The Well-Behaved Child" and have decided to implement the ticket system with both my 5 and 6 yo. I was doing a watered down version of this system already with what I called...

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Tattling

Posted on 6/12/2018

We are still using the ticket system with our children (ages 10, 13, 13, 15) even though we want to eventually move away from it and begin to think along the lines of parenting teens. For now, do...

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Table Manners Matter

Posted on 5/18/2018

Our 8 year old daughter has poor table manners. What is your suggestion on improving them? We have tried nagging (obviously unsuccessful), working on one thing at a time (worked for the first...

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what do I focus on for my 2yro

Posted on 5/7/2018

Our son is 21 months older and we’ve come up with a game plan for focusing on certain behaviors where we want to make progress. We’re focusing on our top three and we’re working on a plan for...

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Tantrumming 5 year old

Posted on 4/14/2018

My 5-year-old, who is an otherwise happy, well-behaved child, cries at the drop of a hat if she perceives something has gone wrong or may go wrong soon (especially if she can't find something)....

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When to Start the Ticket Method

Posted on 4/8/2018

Hello. Our daughter is turning three this week. She is starting to show some resistance to my and my husband's authority. Usually this noncompliance involves refusing to pick up toys before bed,...

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John's Books Available in Spanish

Posted on 4/7/2018

We have 2 children, 5 years old and 2.5 years old. Both kids have had the same nanny since our oldest was 6 months old. She is wonderful and caring, loves the kids and is very dependable and good...

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Ditch the Guilt!

Posted on 4/2/2018

This week I had a friend of mine and her child come to stay at my home from out of town. My 3 year old son and her son are the same age, and they have been enjoying playing together. On the third...

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It's Only a Phase!

Posted on 3/21/2018

My 3 year old child started the ticket system with 5 tickets in October of 2017. By January of 2018 we had a changed child on our hands and we were able to put away the ticket system. All of...

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Share Tickets for Fighting Siblings

Posted on 3/14/2018

I'm not sure how to handle a conflict between my two toddler boys. The younger one has a life mission of provoking the older to get into trouble or start a fight with him and will then play the...

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Sticky Fingers

Posted on 3/10/2018

Our 5 year old has been having a problem with thinking he can take things that belong to others in the house. Recently we found a pack of gum that we do not remember purchasing. We are pretty...

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Tickets: is "doing what you're told" too vague?

Posted on 3/8/2018

I'm preparing using the tickets system with my son who will be 4 years old in 2 months. He is very defiant, so I would like his 1 misbehavior that we focus on first to be Doing What He's Told. But...

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Solitary confinement

Posted on 2/23/2018

What do I do when I kick my kids (6, 5, and 4) out of the garden and the LIKE it!! All three of my girls are upstairs in their room laughing and jumping on their beds. I took their bed frames...

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Tumultuous Trio

Posted on 2/23/2018

Where do we start? We have 3 girls age 6, 5, and 4. They are ALL out of control. Reading through the Well Behaved Child I'm overwhelmed with all the methods. My husband and I have started...

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Continued problems with son

Posted on 2/14/2018

HI there, it's been a month since we have systematically and authoritatively addressed my son's misbehaviours. We decided to address hitting and disobedience. We have him on a 14 day chart for...

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13 yo Not Responding to Effective Discipline

Posted on 2/12/2018

13 year old daughter seems to not care about anything at all. we have grounded her according to John's book, we have done "tickets", she is extremely moody, mean and nasty to family and calls her...

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9 yo Chart Questions

Posted on 2/3/2018

I'm planning to use a weekly chart with my 9yo son. One of the target behaviors is "Refusing to do what your parents tell you to". So if I ask him to empty the dishwasher and he says he doesn't...

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TWBC Charts

Posted on 1/31/2018

In the "Well-Behaved Child" book there is a caution with the Weekly Charts that very HM may be better to start with Daily Charts. I'm wondering if I start with Weekly Charts and find that my 9yo...

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9YO Won't Stay In Room

Posted on 1/31/2018

I've read "The Well-Behaved Child" and am starting to use some of the tools with my HM 9yo son. My problem is that when my son is sent to his bedroom for the day as a consequence he often comes...

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Mom was right to override tickets

Posted on 1/24/2018

HI there, Thank you for your prompt responses on my questions including taking back control and being a parent-centred family. The children have misbehaved so much (during the holidays) that I...

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Mom lost in daughter's orbit

Posted on 1/23/2018

My daughter is five years old and while she has many wonderful qualities. She bright, articulate, and funny. There are certain behaviors however that drive me crazy! I have read the Well Behaved...

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How to Create a Parent-Centered Home with Young Children

Posted on 1/19/2018

I'm needing clarification on what it means to be a parent-centred home, rather than a child-centred home when we have youngish child of 3.5 and 6.5. Could you direct me to resources for guidance...

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Ticket System Questions

Posted on 1/12/2018

We are using the ticket system with our four year old son. Right now we are working on him being obedient and doing what we say to do when we say to do it. We run into problems when there is a...

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Pre-Schooler Stuck in Season 1

Posted on 1/1/2018

Hi there, i have a little 3.5 year old who is completely out of control. I admit we have let him run the house a little bit as he is a little spitfire and makes things unpleasant(ie screams as...

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Letting toddlers play alone?

Posted on 12/23/2017

My daughter is 2 years old and recently I noticed that she doesn't play on her own very much anymore and is often looking for me and my wife to entertain her. I set up her room with a few things...

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Punishment for all?

Posted on 12/22/2017

I have a question about do not disturb the family peace. I want to start this with my 2 boys age 11 and 12 because they are always fighting. My 8 year old daughter generally stays out of all...

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Changing up the Chart System

Posted on 12/4/2017

We do the Strike System with our 9 and 7 year olds and it is working pretty well. However, there is still a big, stressful issue when it comes to us telling the 9 year old to clean up her room or...

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Time Out With Tickets?

Posted on 11/28/2017

We just started the ticket system with our three-year-old and five-year-old. We have done this with our five-year-old in the past and we appreciate how it works and how effective it can be....

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3 year old and Ticket System

Posted on 11/14/2017

I have a 3 year old son who has been on the ticket system for 6 weeks, and I feel extremely discouraged. Today during his check-up at the doctors office he refused to let the nurse weigh him or...

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Follow up about Disobedient 5 y/o

Posted on 11/13/2017

I am referring to my previous question about a 5 years old student in my preschool. The boy is not my son. I don't think that he has ADHD or Autism. When I spoke to the mother, she told me that...

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8 Year Old Disruptive in Time Out

Posted on 11/10/2017

We have nearly 8-year-old boy/girl twins, a 3-year-old daughter, and a new baby girl due any day now. We started daily charts with our twins recently and are having some big struggles with our...

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Create Daily Reports with Meaningful Consequences

Posted on 11/7/2017

My 10-year-old son, who is in fifth grade, is having some trouble at school. At this parent-teacher conference, his teacher expressed he is too talkative, rushing his work, and has poor...

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3 year old boy should keep his lovie

Posted on 10/15/2017

I have read "The Well Behaved Child" and I have been implementing the ticket system for three days with my three year old son. Today he lost all of his tickets after a complete melt-down at...

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Bedtime Horseplay

Posted on 10/4/2017

I have twin 9 year olds and a 6 year old girl that share a bed room. A few years ago when the 6 year old had her own room she pretty much went to bed as told with the exception of getting up a few...

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Regaining Authority

Posted on 9/28/2017

We moved back home while my husband is deployed and now I am having isses with my 7yo daughter. This is not the first time he's had to leave but when he does I feel like I am not taken seriously....

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6 year old boy with an attitude

Posted on 9/20/2017

We are having a hard time with our almost 6 year old son. This summer we started him on tickets for whining and not listening. Quickly the focus became on not listening only. It worked for a while...

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Daily Report Cards Help School Behaviors

Posted on 9/1/2017

I have a 7 year old who has been having problems at school and just recently we received a form from school saying that the school is requesting for social worker intervention, that is "the next...

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Questions about the Ticket System

Posted on 8/21/2017

A couple of months ago, we started the ticket system on our 5 year old son. It has worked relatively well. There are 2 target behaviors: whining and not listening when he is asked to do...

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Why "why" doesn't really matter.

Posted on 8/21/2017

I have a 5 year old daughter who will start kindergarten in 4 days. I have used the 6 block chart for behavior issues with good success. For some reason, the last several weeks have seen her...

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Bullying or Belittling?

Posted on 8/10/2017

Sibling Bullying vs. Belittling Our 12 and 10 ½ year old sons are very different kids. We call the oldest “the lawyer.” He’s an over-achiever, good in sports, and highly...

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15-year-old doesn't like being "un-hinged!"

Posted on 8/4/2017

We have an adopted son, almost 16 yo, who has been with us for 2 1/2 years. He spent most of his earlier life in an over-crowded orphanage, with very little male influence and little supervision....

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Terrible Transition to Three

Posted on 8/3/2017

My 3 year old is a bully. She is starting 1st pre-school soon, Picks on 2 year old sister (sleep in same room, in cribs but climbs out) uncontrollable screaming when not going her way, snatches...

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11-yr-old tummy troubles or just seeking attention?

Posted on 6/17/2017

Our 11 year old daughter began expressing stomach discomfort in early spring (i.e. VERY frequent complaining). In the absence of obvious illness (diarrhea, pain in night w/disrupted sleep, etc..),...

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Punish the Whole Family?

Posted on 6/12/2017

My husband and I recently went on a trip for 2.5 weeks and left our almost 5 yr old and almost 3 yr old with our parents. Upon returning we are experiencing some grandparent detox. Aka--horribly...

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The Well Behaved Child is Source for Charts

Posted on 6/6/2017

In one of your books, you discuss a discipline method that involves a chart of increasingly 'agonizing' consequences. The child moves from box to box when a targeted behavior is repeated. It's an...

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New baby=tantrums for Big Sister!

Posted on 5/22/2017

We just brought the new baby home and it's full-blown, almost constant tantrums from our 30-month old. We used our 'tantrum place', but her tantrums are 15-20 minute, full-on bloodcurdling scream...

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8 y/o Containment?

Posted on 5/11/2017

We've restricted our 8 yr old son to his room with only essentials and early bedtime until he has 15 consecutive days without hitting or pushing anyone. How exactly do we keep him in his room?...

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Wild Monkey at Naptime

Posted on 5/1/2017

I try to make a regular one hour quiet time for my 3 year old daughter every afternoon but things usually end negatively. She has, from birth, been a high needs kiddo and playing by herself seems...

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