Questions

Five Years Old: The Age of Fine Whine

Posted on 9/21/2022

My youngest, who is 5 years old, is feeling left out, saying the neighborhood kids don’t want to play with him. However, I don’t blame them! He is very whiny, tattles constantly, and doesn't share...

Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

It's Not About the Makeup: Time for a Garden Kick

Posted on 3/20/2022

15-year old daughter very obsessed with make-up. Used our Amazon account to buy makeup Products without our knowing till I looked up order history. Took away all her makeup products, went...

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Shy 7 Year Old

Posted on 12/31/2021

My 7 year old first-grader has trouble joining into social situations. He plays well with his 5 year old brother, but with peers, he goes off on his own, and will tell stories to himself (I...

Adopted Daughters Crave Adult Attention

Posted on 10/28/2021

Daughters want too much attention from adults, and are too touchy with them. We have two adopted daughters, ages five and six. Both seem to want an unnatural amount of attention from adults....

Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)

Posted on 10/26/2021

Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...

Play Nice!

Posted on 10/11/2021

Hello. My 6 year old daughter has a very hard time playing nicely with cousins and peers. She wants to have the upper hand at all times. She gets very jealous if somebody has something she...

15 year old Daughter in Fistfight

Posted on 10/8/2021

15 year old daughter in a fistfight at school. Her story changes but the gist of it is that a girl she hadn't seen in 3 years wanted to talk to her (I doubt they hadn't spoken to each other in 3...

19 Month Old Laughs When Hitting and Pulling Mom's Hair

Posted on 9/24/2021

My 19 month old is very advanced for her age, other than her language which is on track. But she’s already entered her “terrible” two phase and she hits and pulls my hair and laughs about it. I...

Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

When Politics Enters Your Child's Education

Posted on 6/4/2021

I was shocked and surprised to find out that next week our kids Elementary School a Catholic School will be celebrating Pride week all week. Nothing was done to inform the parents.. I was I am...

Nine Year Old Drama

Posted on 5/22/2021

I'm worried about my daughter who's 9 years old. She is overly concerned with what people think of her. She gets easily embarrassed and is highly sensitive. I feel like she feels everyone doesn't...

The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory--Part 2

Posted on 5/19/2021

Hi, I am submitting a follow-up response in regard to my question from 5/6/21 entitled "The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory". This was answered by Mike Smart. Thank you for your...

Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory

Posted on 5/6/2021

My 3.5 year old daughter is having issues at Preschool and nothing we do seems to help. She will have days where her behavior is good and then other days she gets in trouble (throwing things,...

Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

4 Y/O Won't Greet People Kindly

Posted on 3/28/2021

My 4 year old son does not greet people. He gives them a scowl or growls at them. He sometimes hides behind me. I’ve told him so many times that he can’t make mean faces at people. It takes him...

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Avoid Micromanaging Tweens Peer Group

Posted on 12/15/2020

What should I do if my daughters only friends are bad influences on her and not people I want her being friends with? One is a lesbian, one has anxiety issues and they both are obsessed with Tik...

Shyness Not A Character Defect

Posted on 12/13/2020

My daughter (age 16) is extremely shy and always has been. Recently due to my divorce situation, we had to relocate and so making friends has been a struggle. However, I have observed her...

Keep Delicate Conversations As Simple as Possible

Posted on 10/22/2020

Hello! I am wondering how, when the topic comes up, should I address same sex relationships with my kids (mainly my 8 year old son for now; I also have a 4 year old daughter). We are Catholic...

Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

How to Deal With a 5-Year-Old Who Hits

Posted on 9/17/2020

Our son is 5 and just started kindergarten. He's had so many tough transitions this year with COVID lockdowns. One day in March his friends, preschool, extended family were all taken away and then...

Mean behavior on playground

Posted on 9/10/2020

Advice please for mom of a strong-willed preschool girl age 4 who got into trouble at pre-school for being mean to other children. The teacher said she has tried talking to preschool girl about...

What Is A Normal 3 Year Old?

Posted on 8/19/2020

Our little boy turns 3 in a week. He is one of the youngest in his preschool class (cutoff is 9/1 and his birthday is 8/25) and some classmates have been 3 since last fall. I feel that he is...

Emotional Intelligence Begins With Good Manners

Posted on 6/14/2020

Are you familiar with the term 2e kids? Or twice exceptional? Our 10 year old son appears to fall into this category. He is at above average intelligence, but his emotional iq is lacking and a...

6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

Playing with Toy Guns- Keep It Simple

Posted on 5/2/2020

My son has taken an interest in gun play. He likes making guns with blocks of lego and sticks and playing with his nerf gun. I want him to enjoy this play but in a way that is fun and healthy,...

4 Year Old Biting Must Stop

Posted on 1/13/2020

Our 4 year old son's teacher called home today after school to tell us that he got into an argument with a peer over a toy. While pulling back and forth for the toy, our son bit the other child....

3 year old needs more time to adjust to playing at preschool

Posted on 1/13/2020

Hi! I have spoken with a coach via email, and was happy with the response. I recently spoke with my recently turned 3 year old son’s teachers, and had a chance to sit in on one of his church child...

Ignoring Bad Habits

Posted on 11/25/2019

My 9-year-old daughter still puts things in her mouth and chews on them like a toddler: Lego pieces, wrappers, etc. It seems like she has an oral fixation and always needs to be chewing or sucking...

Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted on 11/6/2019

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

Play Group for Two-Year-Old Not Working Well

Posted on 10/25/2019

It’s seems like my two and a half year old has a harder time with obedience on days when she’s spending significant time interacting with other toddlers. I notice if other children. Misbehave, she...

Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

Name Calling Not OK For Young Boy

Posted on 9/20/2019

Hello, I received an email from my child's teacher today. This is what it said. "Hi, I wanted to let you know that R had to be spoken to about hurting a child's feelings on Wednesday. He was...

14 YO Boy Looking For Friends

Posted on 8/28/2019

My son is 14 years old. He is having a lot of issues around relationships with friends/girlfriends. He seems to be struggling with feeling secure in his relationships. He needs a lot of...

Continuing Challenges with 6-Year-Old

Posted on 8/5/2019

Our 6-year-old daughter will go to school in a month. Some doctors say she has ADHD. We take much effort to prepare her for school as she is falling behind on knowledge that is required for...

6 YO Girl Lies, Defies, & Connives

Posted on 7/26/2019

After reading The Well-Behaved Child last spring, I started my then 5yo daughter on the ticket system. It worked quite well. Generally, I was already doing many of things Dr. Rosemond suggested...

Beating the Bullies

Posted on 6/20/2019

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

7-year-old Sunday School Woes

Posted on 6/20/2019

A 7 or 8 year old boy came to Sunday School for the first time and we suspect there are problems at home. I have not met him personally, but he was described as dark and negative. I do not know...

Discipline is not Always Convenient

Posted on 6/6/2019

When our son hits, we send him to his room for the entire day. However, his hitting tends to happen towards dinner/bedtime so we sentence him to his room the next day. Inevitably, it falls on a...

13yo struggles

Posted on 5/29/2019

My son is 13. He will be starting 8th grade this year. He got 5 detentions and two phone calls to the school from other parents saying he was bothering their kids. The detentions were for...

Morning Grumpies

Posted on 5/4/2019

Our son is just shy of turning 5 and attends a full day preschool. He is not always in the best of moods in the morning when I (mom) drop him off and is sometimes clingy. He receives good...

Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted on 4/13/2019

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

6 yro has trouble occupying herself

Posted on 3/25/2019

Our 6-year-old daughter does not like to occupy herself. When we ask her to play by herself, she keeps coming from her room asking us to play with her or asking us to be with her. But when she is...

Bullying at Preschool

Posted on 3/6/2019

My almost 5 year old boy is in preschool 2.5 days a week. Last year, he was always enthusiastic about going to preschool but this year, he has encountered 2 boys (one of them is his cousin) - who...

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