"A child who has learned to pay attention to parents will go to school prepared to pay attention to teachers. "

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Son hits himself when he loses TV privileges

Posted 2 weeks ago

When my son loses his tv privileges he starts hitting himself, screaming, saying he’s stupid, he hates himself etc and beginning he will do anything to earn tv back (I say no). There clearly is an...

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Toddler Tests the Car Seat Limits

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 18 month old always gets a short time out when he hits or throws food. Consequently, he almost never hits or throws food any more. However, since we have been going out more, he is now testing...

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No More Naps? Call the Doctor!

Posted 3 weeks ago

I’ve written about our middle son previously. He turned 4 a few weeks ago. He no longer naps but seems really tired during the day. He whines, seems clumsy (which I believe to be related to being...

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Car Seat Blues with 2-Year-Old

Posted 4 weeks ago

Hi our son is about 2 years and 3 months old and he has decided that he doesn't like being strapped into his carseat. As soon as I pull out of the driveway (sometimes before), he will slip his...

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6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

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How to Achieve Peaceful Coexistence Between Children

Posted on 5/31/2020

I have a 6-year-old, and 2.5 year old. They are fighting A LOT. What’s the best way to discipline them? I try to let them work it out as much as I can, but it’s constant. Older child ripping toys...

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Posted on 4/27/2020

My 4 year old Grandson told me last night...that his Moms friend gave him some sleepy medicine and gave the 2 yr old brother some....brother was in bed asleep at 7. He further informed me that it...

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Hitting Needs to Stop for 3 Year Old

Posted on 4/19/2020

Lately my just turned 3 year old hits a lot, but he does it playfully and often even says it, "I'm going to hit you." I am not sure how to get him to stop. We have been firm in telling him he...

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Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

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5 Y/O Does Not Fully Comply With Consequence

Posted on 4/3/2020

My younger boy, age 5 is on the ticket system. When he loses his tickets he go upstairs to his room for the rest of the day except meals. Problem is he doesn't stay in his room. He sits at the top...

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Hands Off!

Posted on 3/29/2020

My 7 year is always making stupid annoying loud noises and shouting and he keeps doing this in his 8 month old sisters face. He also constantly grabs her hands and smothers her. They seem to get...

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Nip It Now

Posted on 3/10/2020

My 16 month old has started occasionally hitting his father and me in the face (not super hard). He thinks it’s funny when I grab his arm to prevent him from hitting me; he thinks it’s a great...

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Give the Kid a Choice

Posted on 3/3/2020

We have a 35 month old son who is very loving, yet VERY strong-willed. I have read your book, and we have tried to implement the strategies recommended, but we find he is so defiant we would be...

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Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted on 3/2/2020

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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Pre- teen sent to principal's office

Posted on 2/19/2020

My 11 y/o daughter was just sent to the principal's office for carving a middle finger out of an eraser and saying that it represented her teacher. Princial said that she and other kids are...

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3 years old doesn't pay attetion to stories.

Posted on 2/18/2020

My 3 year old has always had difficulty listening to stories. I know how terribly important it is to read to children daily so I keep reading, but he’s not paying attention. Is he still getting...

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Ticket system for twins sharing a room.

Posted on 2/1/2020

We are starting the ticket system with our 3 1/2 year old boy/girl twins. They share a room & are still in cribs (they could climb out but haven’t tried/wanted to yet). How do we go about putting...

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Lower the Boom on School Misbehavior

Posted on 1/22/2020

Our seven year old got sent to the principles office today for telling another student "I'm going to kill you". He was already one night into a three night bout of being banished to his room due...

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Toddler's Frustration with Confinement is Understandable

Posted on 1/19/2020

My 15 month grandson spends a lot of time in a corral to keep him away from things where he can be hurt. This morning he began shaking the corral, pushed it into a wall, kept shaking and pushing,...

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Gone From The Garden.....Now What?

Posted on 1/17/2020

I have a clarification question. When a child had been kicked out of the garden, are they supposed to also stay in said room when not at school? And if so should we leave something in their room...

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Little Victories

Posted on 1/16/2020

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Hold Me! Never Let Me Go!

Posted on 1/8/2020

My daughter (age 2) demands to be held an excessive amount. By "excessive amount", I mean hours in a row. The more holding I give her, the more she demands. She gets furious when put down before...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Accident or On Purpose?

Posted on 12/17/2019

Right before my child turned 2 in October we started to potty train her. At around 25 months she was completely trained; she'd tell us when she needed to go and at one point, she was...

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Argumentative two and a half year old

Posted on 12/14/2019

Our two and a half year old daughter is argumentative. There will be times when we’ve told her to do something in a clear manner and she will outright say “No, I will not do...” (fill in the...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Rebellious 25 monts old

Posted on 11/23/2019

Hi My 25 month old daughter is potty trained now. I started when she was 23 month old, and 3 weeks ago until she got completely trained even at night. since yesterday she has been having pee...

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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4-Year-Old Running the Show

Posted on 10/31/2019

What if our 4 year old refuses to stay in his room after he loses his 5 tickets?

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Train Him Up

Posted on 10/24/2019

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted on 10/24/2019

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

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Tickets for 3 year olds?

Posted on 10/17/2019

We started the ticket system with our three and 5 year old boys about two months ago. I feel like our 3 year old may be too young for it. The afternoons are particularly rough because he has...

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Nip Disrespectful Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 10/3/2019

I home school my 7-year-old son. We are working on obeying and being respectful. Often when I tell him something he responds disrespectfully. He will yell back at me or say something mean and then...

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Disrespectful 7-Year-Old

Posted on 10/2/2019

We are using the discipline strategies taught in Well-Behaved Child. I home school 7 and 5 year old boys. My 7 year old responds to me with disrespectful remarks. For example: "You are so mean, I...

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Toddlers in "Time Out" can create More "Tired Out" Parents

Posted on 10/2/2019

For a 2 year old who is able to climb out of a playpen (and makes a game of it if the parent tries to keep them in), what else would make a suitable time-out area? We live in a rented...

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3 y/o and 1 y/o siblings learning to play together

Posted on 9/18/2019

My son is 3 years old and my daughter is 1 year old. My son is really good about playing by himself and lining up his cars when he plays; however, my daughter really likes to bug him. She...

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Behavior getting worse not better

Posted on 9/15/2019

I just started reading the well behaved child. I have a 6 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. Their behavior has gotten worse. My daughter comes out of her room constantly after having been...

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Grandparent Etiquette

Posted on 9/15/2019

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

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"Doctor" Makes House Call for 5 YO Preschooler

Posted on 9/7/2019

My 5 year old girl is strong willed, defiant and disobedient. She throws frequent tantrums when not getting her way. At school she is fine but anywhere else she acts out (screams, rages, scowls,...

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Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted on 9/6/2019

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

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3 y/o Drama Queen

Posted on 9/5/2019

Every time we have to say goodbye to my 3 year old's friend, she cries like it's the end of the world and has a fit... We go on nightly walks with them and I have stopped because I do not want to...

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When Food Issues Become Power Struggles

Posted on 9/5/2019

I asked a question about my 8 year old sneaking sweets - we have since carried out your suggestions - but it is not working. She looks for other ways to get sweets. We allowed her to buy some cup...

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2yro needs to learn who is boss

Posted on 9/4/2019

what is the best way to teach a 23 month old that they can not do few things. for example , today my 23 month daughter broke 2 decorative cups on purpose, by threwing them on the floor happily,...

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Wrestle Mania

Posted on 9/3/2019

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

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