"As children grow older, parents must give them greater freedom, including greater freedom to make mistakes. "

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How to address bad behavior outdoors

Posted 3 days ago

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the three strikes method with kick...

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Sibling Warfare

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

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Normal Kindergarten Boy

Posted on 9/21/2020

Our 5-year-old is struggling in kindergarten because of behavior. He runs around the classroom instead of staying in his seat, refuses to stay quiet (shouts) when the teacher is teaching and...

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A Fine Whine?

Posted on 9/20/2020

Looking for help for whining for our 28mo. We have tried saying "that's whining. We can't hear whining. Use your happy voice." and even the raising eyebrows suggestion, for the last 7 or so...

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Disrespectful 8-Year-Old

Posted on 9/19/2020

We have noticed more ungrateful and entitled behavior in my 8 year old son recently. During a trip to the zoo, he became upset and was rude and disrespectful when I would not buy him food and ice...

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It's my room

Posted on 9/10/2020

My 6 year old won’t allow her 3yr old brother in her room, especially if we are working on her homework. Unfortunately, there are times that I’m home alone and he needs to be with us. She try’s to...

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Curing the Bedtime Blues

Posted on 9/7/2020

Our almost 2.5-year-old daughter started to refuse to go to sleep. She doesn’t take naps at home anymore (only at daycare) and was fully sleep trained before age one. It all started with her...

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Actions Speak Louder Than Explanations

Posted on 8/30/2020

I have 2 questions: If a family has children of grade school age and want to begin using John's child rearing principals. What is the best way to begin? Sit the kids down and say "Things are...

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Night Owl Habit

Posted on 8/28/2020

Still a daily struggle here and school is about to start. I gave in and allowed the computer back, but I cannot get this kid on a schedule of getting up for the day and sleeping at night. He is...

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Tween Not Playing By the Rules

Posted on 8/10/2020

I have sent in a request for a coach, as you can see I have been having a difficult time with my 13 year old. I just experienced a tantrum again, it’s nightly for about a week now, how he is still...

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Nipping his misbehavior in the Bud

Posted on 7/19/2020

Our 18 month old has gone from being an easy to child to a handful. All of his behavior seems normal, but more extreme than our older boys. He also seems unresponsive to correction. Some of these...

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Don't stop doing it!!!

Posted on 7/16/2020

Building on my last two questions, I have run into another issue regarding attention-seeking behavior from my three year old. My husband and I have created an environment that is parent-centered;...

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Son hits himself when he loses TV privileges

Posted on 6/18/2020

When my son loses his tv privileges he starts hitting himself, screaming, saying he’s stupid, he hates himself etc and beginning he will do anything to earn tv back (I say no). There clearly is an...

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Toddler Tests the Car Seat Limits

Posted on 6/13/2020

My 18 month old always gets a short time out when he hits or throws food. Consequently, he almost never hits or throws food any more. However, since we have been going out more, he is now testing...

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No More Naps? Call the Doctor!

Posted on 6/12/2020

I’ve written about our middle son previously. He turned 4 a few weeks ago. He no longer naps but seems really tired during the day. He whines, seems clumsy (which I believe to be related to being...

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Car Seat Blues with 2-Year-Old

Posted on 6/4/2020

Hi our son is about 2 years and 3 months old and he has decided that he doesn't like being strapped into his carseat. As soon as I pull out of the driveway (sometimes before), he will slip his...

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6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

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How to Achieve Peaceful Coexistence Between Children

Posted on 5/31/2020

I have a 6-year-old, and 2.5 year old. They are fighting A LOT. What’s the best way to discipline them? I try to let them work it out as much as I can, but it’s constant. Older child ripping toys...

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Posted on 4/27/2020

My 4 year old Grandson told me last night...that his Moms friend gave him some sleepy medicine and gave the 2 yr old brother some....brother was in bed asleep at 7. He further informed me that it...

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Hitting Needs to Stop for 3 Year Old

Posted on 4/19/2020

Lately my just turned 3 year old hits a lot, but he does it playfully and often even says it, "I'm going to hit you." I am not sure how to get him to stop. We have been firm in telling him he...

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Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

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5 Y/O Does Not Fully Comply With Consequence

Posted on 4/3/2020

My younger boy, age 5 is on the ticket system. When he loses his tickets he go upstairs to his room for the rest of the day except meals. Problem is he doesn't stay in his room. He sits at the top...

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Hands Off!

Posted on 3/29/2020

My 7 year is always making stupid annoying loud noises and shouting and he keeps doing this in his 8 month old sisters face. He also constantly grabs her hands and smothers her. They seem to get...

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Nip It Now

Posted on 3/10/2020

My 16 month old has started occasionally hitting his father and me in the face (not super hard). He thinks it’s funny when I grab his arm to prevent him from hitting me; he thinks it’s a great...

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Give the Kid a Choice

Posted on 3/3/2020

We have a 35 month old son who is very loving, yet VERY strong-willed. I have read your book, and we have tried to implement the strategies recommended, but we find he is so defiant we would be...

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Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted on 3/2/2020

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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Pre- teen sent to principal's office

Posted on 2/19/2020

My 11 y/o daughter was just sent to the principal's office for carving a middle finger out of an eraser and saying that it represented her teacher. Princial said that she and other kids are...

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3 years old doesn't pay attetion to stories.

Posted on 2/18/2020

My 3 year old has always had difficulty listening to stories. I know how terribly important it is to read to children daily so I keep reading, but he’s not paying attention. Is he still getting...

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Ticket system for twins sharing a room.

Posted on 2/1/2020

We are starting the ticket system with our 3 1/2 year old boy/girl twins. They share a room & are still in cribs (they could climb out but haven’t tried/wanted to yet). How do we go about putting...

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Lower the Boom on School Misbehavior

Posted on 1/22/2020

Our seven year old got sent to the principles office today for telling another student "I'm going to kill you". He was already one night into a three night bout of being banished to his room due...

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Toddler's Frustration with Confinement is Understandable

Posted on 1/19/2020

My 15 month grandson spends a lot of time in a corral to keep him away from things where he can be hurt. This morning he began shaking the corral, pushed it into a wall, kept shaking and pushing,...

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Gone From The Garden.....Now What?

Posted on 1/17/2020

I have a clarification question. When a child had been kicked out of the garden, are they supposed to also stay in said room when not at school? And if so should we leave something in their room...

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Little Victories

Posted on 1/16/2020

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Hold Me! Never Let Me Go!

Posted on 1/8/2020

My daughter (age 2) demands to be held an excessive amount. By "excessive amount", I mean hours in a row. The more holding I give her, the more she demands. She gets furious when put down before...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Accident or On Purpose?

Posted on 12/17/2019

Right before my child turned 2 in October we started to potty train her. At around 25 months she was completely trained; she'd tell us when she needed to go and at one point, she was...

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Argumentative two and a half year old

Posted on 12/14/2019

Our two and a half year old daughter is argumentative. There will be times when we’ve told her to do something in a clear manner and she will outright say “No, I will not do...” (fill in the...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Rebellious 25 monts old

Posted on 11/23/2019

Hi My 25 month old daughter is potty trained now. I started when she was 23 month old, and 3 weeks ago until she got completely trained even at night. since yesterday she has been having pee...

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Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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4-Year-Old Running the Show

Posted on 10/31/2019

What if our 4 year old refuses to stay in his room after he loses his 5 tickets?

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Train Him Up

Posted on 10/24/2019

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted on 10/24/2019

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

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