Questions

Don't Dis R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 6/13/2022

Our 8 year old has grown increasingly disrespectful. He is perfect respectful to adults like teachers and parents of his friends, so it is primarily an issue at home. Often the disrespect is...

Good Cop Bad Cop

Posted on 6/6/2022

Ongoing tiff with Husband. Example scenario: 3 1/2 year old daughter is harassing 1 1/2 year old daughter and is put in timeout in her room. Every time she's in timeout she's screaming and losing...

Co-parenting has its challenges

Posted on 4/1/2022

I share custody of my 2 year old daughter. Her father has a 5 year old from a previous relationship. We are on good terms and spend time with the girls together when possible. The issue is the 5...

How to Stop Toddler From Hitting Younger Sibling

Posted on 3/11/2022

Hi. Our oldest daughter is 3yrs 2mo old. Our youngest daughter is 11mo. Within the past month or so, our oldest daughter has started hitting and pushing our youngest daughter. Oftentimes this...

Six Year Old Loves to Scream

Posted on 2/20/2022

My 6 year old has screaming fits nearly every day usually related to being told to do something he doesn't want to or when he is mad at his brother. We have gone back to making him go to his room...

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Posted on 1/30/2022

We have a 10 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. Our daughter has a genetic disease and is mildly delayed in language and cognitive skills, but she attends school and is in a regular...

10-Year-Old's Hitting Needs to Hit the Road for Good

Posted on 1/28/2022

We are currently using the ticket system to deal with two target behaviors. Hitting is not one of them. My 10-year-old daughter hit her four-year-old sister. This behavior does not happen very...

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

If I Could Save Time in a Battle---When Siblings Collide

Posted on 1/14/2022

When doing the conference room for sibling conflict what do you do if all they do is yell and fight while in there? Currently I just add more time when they start fighting. Sometimes it helps...

Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Getting Started on the Ticket System

Posted on 9/14/2021

At what age is it appropriate to do 2 sets of tickets? One for sibling conflict and one for personal? How long should I wait to start their personal ones? We just started sibling conflict about a...

Bossy Miss 6

Posted on 8/17/2021

Hi there! My 6 year old (Miss 6) tends to hugely overreact. It's not tantrums, per say, so the tantrum spot is not utilised. It's more anger and "wordiness." (Miss 6: "I asked sister THREE...

Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

10 year old and 8 year old participating in sibling rivalry

Posted on 4/10/2021

My son (age 10) and my daughter (age 8) argue and fight, but it is mostly my son who antagonizes his sister and she ends up telling on him to us. It happens ALL day long. I try to not take sides...

Meltdowns, Scratches, and Wrestling Matches: Dealing With the Brothers 3

Posted on 3/1/2021

Over the past year, we have spent more time together as a family at home. While some of this has been good, we have also seen conflict between our oldest boys, ages 4 and 6, increase. Sometimes...

Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

21 month old steals sister's toys

Posted on 12/28/2020

Lately our 21 month old seems to make it his mission to steal toys away from his 3.5 year old sister. While I realize that he doesn’t really understand sharing, it feels like all I do all day is...

Sibling Relationship Stuck in Rough Water

Posted on 12/7/2020

We have a 21 year old son, who is still in college. He has severe animus toward his 17 year old sister, and has had it for the past 6-8 years. Little sister, for all practical purposes, is very...

Taming Hitting Between Younger Siblings

Posted on 11/4/2020

My two year old and my 4 year old are constantly hitting each other what should I do ?

Curb Behavior With Alpha Speech

Posted on 10/6/2020

My son is 3-years-old and is a sweet boy and had a pretty good first two and a half years. Three months ago he started bluntly saying "No" to us and being more aggressive towards his brother, and...

Sibling Warfare

Posted on 10/2/2020

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

It's my room

Posted on 9/10/2020

My 6 year old won’t allow her 3yr old brother in her room, especially if we are working on her homework. Unfortunately, there are times that I’m home alone and he needs to be with us. She try’s to...

2-Year-Old and 4-Year-Old Can't Get Along

Posted on 8/20/2020

My 2 year old and my 4 year old seem to not be able to stay with each other for 5 min with out fitting over something ... should I say something or let them work it out because it seem like a...

Big Sister 11 wants some space from 8 year old brother

Posted on 6/24/2020

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and helpful ways you've equipped me as a parent since signing up to this site. I've come to understand that I should let my kids resolve issues they have with...

Help! Quarantine Has Thrown a Kink in Our Schedule!

Posted on 6/23/2020

My husband has been working from home for the last few months and this has brought new challenges with our 5 and 6 year old boys. Prior to him working from home I had a routine of them playing in...

How to Achieve Peaceful Coexistence Between Children

Posted on 5/31/2020

I have a 6-year-old, and 2.5 year old. They are fighting A LOT. What’s the best way to discipline them? I try to let them work it out as much as I can, but it’s constant. Older child ripping toys...

Teach instead of rescue.

Posted on 5/27/2020

My 11 year old daughter has noticed that her 8 year old brother is academically more able than she is, particularly in Maths. Over the years, we've repeatedly told her to celebrate her own...

Sibling Must Work it Out!

Posted on 3/1/2020

I have two children: An 8-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever my daughter doesn’t have school, however, we have conflict. My son...

Siblings Must Work It Out!

Posted on 2/25/2020

I’ve got two kids, an almost 8 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. For the most part, they play really well on their own. Whenever she doesn’t have school, we have the most conflict. He loves...

10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

The Age-Gap Triplicate

Posted on 1/1/2020

My kids (11-girl, 10-girl, 3-boy) were driving me crazy with all the squabbling. Especially as the 3 year old gets older. All 3 kids are on the ticket system. I’ve read a lot of the q & a on here...

Kerfuffling Kids

Posted on 11/28/2019

Hi! I have a 9 year old daughter and boy/girl twin 7 year olds. The twins tend to play really nicely together. They are also in the same class and the same group on the swim team. My 9 year old...

The Taming of the Crew

Posted on 10/23/2019

I need help understanding the difference between sibling rivalry and sibling abuse. I know I'm supposed to punish both children equally when they fight, but what about in a situation where the...

Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

Sibling Rivalry Not Improving

Posted on 9/22/2019

Hello! Our daughter (26 months) has been hitting, scratching, biting etc her sister (almost 4.5 years old). At first we told her a firm no but now the incidents have increased and we put her in...

3 y/o and 1 y/o siblings learning to play together

Posted on 9/18/2019

My son is 3 years old and my daughter is 1 year old. My son is really good about playing by himself and lining up his cars when he plays; however, my daughter really likes to bug him. She...

Toddler Trouble

Posted on 8/10/2019

What do I do to toddler sister who pushes down sister who is learning to sit and stand?

The Enemy of my Enemy is my Sibling

Posted on 7/14/2019

We have five children, and multiple questions, but I'll just focus on one here. My oldest son and daughter (ages 10 and 7) fight regularly. My son is a teaser, and my daughter is a screecher. ...

Siblings and Summer

Posted on 6/18/2019

Hi! I have an 8 year old daughter and boy/girl twin 6 year olds. I am writting in because my kids have been fighting a lot and gotten physical; pushing, hair grabbing, kicking sometimes even...

I'm Not Your Friend

Posted on 6/3/2019

My four year old has been telling her younger sister who is three that she will not play with her, be her best friend, etc. if she doesn’t play the way she wants or gives her the toy she is...

14 month old harming Mom and family members

Posted on 5/28/2019

My 14 month old baby has started scratching my face, and pulling my hair when upset. In the past few days she has also started pinching and biting her 4 yo sister and 5 yo brother (who are very...

Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted on 4/13/2019

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

Sibling Conflict and Bizarre Behavior

Posted on 3/20/2019

One day at church, my husband noticed my 11 YO daughter pinching her hand when he stopped our daughters having a silent squabble in the pew. Her younger sister is 16 months younger and often they...

Sibling Rivalry

Posted on 2/19/2019

my daughters, age 5 and 2, constantly fight. I agree siblings need to settle their own quarrels; however, my 2 year old is still physically agressive (pulling hair, hitting), and sometimes I...

Separate but Equal

Posted on 2/10/2019

I have an introverted, sensitive (gentle and kind) four-year-old son and an extroverted, physically rambunctious two-year-old son. The two year old is physically aggressive (biting and hitting)...

14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

children not listening

Posted on 12/23/2018

Hello. A tiny bit about us: I had 5 children in 4.5 years: 3 girls then twin boys, now 6, 4.5, 3, & 18 mos (x2). I stay at home and do not work. The 6 yr old is in Kinder and other two girls...

Discipline Drama

Posted on 12/13/2018

I have a 2.5 (boy) and 3.5 (girl) year old, and my girl constantly is taking things from her brother. He doesn’t tend to fight back much. I’m wondering when I can expect my daughter to stop...

To Share or Not To Share

Posted on 11/23/2018

I have two daughters. Ages 34 months and 4. I am seeing a trend with my four year old not wanting to play independently. She tries to take over whatever the youngest is playing with and wants the...

4 year old annoying big sister and more

Posted on 11/2/2018

HI there, What do you suggest I do with a 4 year old boy who is constantly annoying his 7-year old sister by making lots of noise when she's practicing the piano (it's in the living room and a...

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