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Siblings are Both to Blame for Fighting

Posted on 1/20/2018

Our 13-year-old, soon to be 14-year-old, son teases his 9-year-old sister to no end. It causes our family a lot of strife. He teases her, she yells, lashes out, and then cries. I usually punish...

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Sibling conflict

Posted on 1/20/2018

I've reviewed my questions, and see that I have asked this already. I really believe our son is more to blame for the situation. He ALWAYS starts it. This is not a matter of them fighting, with...

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Boys Will be Boys?

Posted on 1/12/2018

We have two boys. One just turned 4 and the other is turning 3 this month. They wrestle, fight, hit each other, push each other, etc half of the time happily and the other half angrily. We know...

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Punishment for all?

Posted on 12/22/2017

I have a question about do not disturb the family peace. I want to start this with my 2 boys age 11 and 12 because they are always fighting. My 8 year old daughter generally stays out of all...

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Sibling Conflict: Teaching Moment or Stay out of It?

Posted on 12/5/2017

I am the mother of 3 children, a 5 and a half year old girl, a 4 year old boy and a 2 and a half year old girl. The 2 oldest used to play really well together for the most part but over the last...

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Time Out With Tickets?

Posted on 11/28/2017

We just started the ticket system with our three-year-old and five-year-old. We have done this with our five-year-old in the past and we appreciate how it works and how effective it can be....

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9 yo and 7 yo Sibling Conflict

Posted on 10/29/2017

I have 3 kids. Twins, girl & boy - 9 and youngest girl is 7. They enjoy each others company, playing together well. But they get into conflict pretty much daily over small issues. My twins often...

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Overwhelmed Mom

Posted on 10/27/2017

Hi, I am a homeschooling mother of three girls ages 9, 7 and 3. I frequently feel so exhausted around my kids. I KNOW there is a better way, and I keep trying to get there... but I never quite...

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19 month old Screaming, 4 y/o Bothering

Posted on 10/23/2017

I need help!! My 19 month old has recently found her "voice". She is screaming this horrible high pitched scream when she can't communicate. Like a typical toddler she is quite bossy and gets...

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Follow-Up to Fighting Siblings

Posted on 10/2/2017

Thank you for your response to my first question. I have a follow up question, just to make sure we are striking a healthy balance of discipline. I'm pretty sure I have read 2 or 3 variations of...

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6-Block Chart Program

Posted on 9/29/2017

My son is 9 1/2. Over the last few months we have implemented the daily 6 block chart program after reading The Well Behaved Child in response to the defiance and attitude we had been seeing...

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10 yo and 8 yo Sibling Conflict

Posted on 9/23/2017

We have two boys (10 and 8). Our older son is generally passive and doesn't start problems, and the younger one is constantly doing whatever he can to annoy and cause problems, and it usually ends...

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13 year old, 5 year old Squabbles

Posted on 9/9/2017

Hi ☺my question is about sibling conflict between my thirteen-year-old daughter and five-year-old son. They are constantly fighting! And they are basically just rude and disrespectful towards each...

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11 yr old Effort and Responsibility

Posted on 9/6/2017

I am the Dad of an 11 year old (6th grade). She is not giving good effort at school. My wife and I have told her it is her responsibility and she needs to get help from the teachers, study...

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3yr Twins and Ticket System

Posted on 9/1/2017

I've just read "The Well Behaved Child". I have 3yo twin boys. There are A LOT of things I want to work on but am taking your advice to only work on one at a time. I want to use the Ticket...

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8 yo No Birthday Celebration While Punished?

Posted on 8/13/2017

This is follow up question that was answered by Tim Bonzagni regarding "8 yro hurting others using ticket system." After having the discussion with the 8 yro about hurting others and the lack...

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Bullying or Belittling?

Posted on 8/10/2017

Sibling Bullying vs. Belittling Our 12 and 10 ½ year old sons are very different kids. We call the oldest “the lawyer.” He’s an over-achiever, good in sports, and highly...

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Terrible Transition to Three

Posted on 8/3/2017

My 3 year old is a bully. She is starting 1st pre-school soon, Picks on 2 year old sister (sleep in same room, in cribs but climbs out) uncontrollable screaming when not going her way, snatches...

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Sibling Conflict

Posted on 7/22/2017

Our 13-year-old son teases his eight year old sister to no end. She reacts dramatically to the teasing (he loves getting a rise out of her, so I'm sure her reaction is his reward). She'll scream...

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8 yro hurting others using ticket system

Posted on 7/11/2017

Our 8 year old son has had some instances of badly hurting others. He's aggressively hurt kids at school twice and the school has intervened. In both instances, we have punished him at home as...

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3 yo Hitting

Posted on 7/6/2017

My boys are 11 months apart just turned 3 and 2. The older boy has taken to hitting and kicking the younger one lately. At first it wasn't too bad and I tried not to make an issue of it. I would...

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3yr old Fits and Trouble Playing with Brother

Posted on 6/27/2017

My 3 year old is very big and strong for his age. When I have him go to his room for either timeout for a fit or for naptime he physically fights me now. He used to simply whimper and cry but then...

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What to Do About Squabbling Sisters?

Posted on 5/18/2017

My two girls, age 2 and 3 (21 mns apart), constantly fight when together (expect for 1-3 minutes at the beginning of play). My 3 yo is aggressive to her younger sister in the forms of hitting,...

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Argumentative 10 Year Old

Posted on 5/11/2017

We have been attempting to correct our 10 year old son's attitude. He argues with EVERYTHING, is so disrespectful, and always has to have the last word. He is also rude to his sister. We have...

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Brothers don't have to be friends

Posted on 4/26/2017

I have a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old boy. They complain/compare: 'he got more apple juice than me', 'how come he got to watch t.v while he was home sick and I had to go to school?' They...

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8 and 5 yo siblings fight constantly

Posted on 4/10/2017

I have a 8yo girl and 5 yo boy that fight constantly. Usually involves a lot of yelling. And sometimes gets physical. I'm at a loss on how to properly handle this. Nothing I'm doing is working. Help!

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Jekyll and Hyde almost 4 y/o boy

Posted on 4/7/2017

Please help. My son is 3 years old and will be 4 in three weeks. His behavior is getting out of hand. He doesn't behave like this anywhere else but home. He has three older sisters and he hits...

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Squabbling Sisters

Posted on 4/4/2017

Hello. I have 9 and 11-YO daughters. I was so excited to have two girls and envisioned them being best friends growing up together. Not the case. They fight all the time and my 11-YO has become...

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What to Do When Older Sister Is Mean to Younger Sister

Posted on 2/5/2017

Our older daughter continues to be a source of hurt to her younger sister. They are three years apart and both teens. They are both well liked in the community, praised by teachers, active in...

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Sibling Conflict

Posted on 1/5/2017

In regards to siblings and tattling. Do you have any ideas other than the "if nobody is hurt no tattling" rule.

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Sibling screaming!

Posted on 1/3/2017

4 year old daughter who can be very controlling and possessive and a just turned 2 year old son who screams now every time his sister approaches him. They are attached at the hip and look for...

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8 yo, No Quick Fixes for Discipline Problems

Posted on 11/21/2016

Our 8 1/2 year old daughter has not changed any of her undesirable behaviors. These include being irresponsible with schoolwork, unkind to her sister, ruining her clothes/ most other items,...

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Toddler Sibling Conflict

Posted on 11/2/2016

We have 3 boys - 3 years old, 2 years old, and 10 months old. Our second son has recently been hitting, biting, pushing and kicking his brothers (not other kids when we are out). He is also a very...

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10 year old with low frustration

Posted on 10/20/2016

10 year old daughter (middle child) is bright, athletic, does well in school and no behavior problems at school. Can be delightful, but extremely mean to younger sister (states because she annoys...

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Ten year old with multiple issues

Posted on 10/1/2016

Adopted Female child age 10; neglect and multiple traumas, sexual abuse. She is in complete safety for 4+ years now, yet she is Hypersensitive, intense, social issues, cannot get along with...

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Preschool Sibling Relationships

Posted on 9/22/2016

how to improve sibling relationship with preschool children?

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Sibling Relationships

Posted on 9/21/2016

John I am conducting a workshop about sibling relationships. We are in a Montessori environment and talking at the Primary age level of 2-6. An information about easing the new baby into the...

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Kids Won't Stop Fighting!

Posted on 8/29/2016

My children will not stop fighting. These fights are typical sibling things, but it is making me crazy and I need some tips on how to work this out. Also, my girls fight over me and this is very...

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Jealous 16-Month-Old

Posted on 8/3/2016

My husband and I have a jealous 16 month old. She is the 4th child. The oldest are (twins) 4.5 yrs and one who is 3.5 yrs. Whenever I am holding one of the other children she begins pulling at...

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Equal Penalty for Sibling Conflict

Posted on 7/26/2016

We have been using the disturbing the peace system with good success. What do you suggest in the situation where one child is out of the house when his siblings get strikes? For example, Child A...

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Helping Children Play

Posted on 7/20/2016

How do I help my children play? It seems that my children don't know how to play properly. When they are outside to play they have soccer balls, jump ropes, sand boxes, a play house and tree...

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Toddler Causing Conflict

Posted on 6/28/2016

I have a 5 year old girl, a 4 year old girl, and a 2 year old boy. I need some wisdom on how to handle their conflicts. My 2 year old boy grabs toys from his older sisters. I usually come in...

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From Chaos to Calm

Posted on 6/24/2016

We have 4 children: girl age 7, boy almost 5, and boy-girl twins age 3. I feel like I have no control over them. Examples…I have to repeat myself when I tell them to do stuff (pick up your toys,...

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9 yo, 4 yo Sibling Conflict

Posted on 6/16/2016

I have 2 children (9 year old daughter, 4 year old son). I frequently find myself mediating sibling conflict despite the fact that I don't want to. I think the main reason is due to the vast...

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Destroying toys

Posted on 6/8/2016

We have an almost 3.5 year old boy and an almost 2 year old girl. They are destructive! It is more the boy who instigates destructive behavior but they both play very rough with each other and...

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Preschoolers Fighting

Posted on 4/9/2016

I have read your suggestion on posting rules about not disturbing the family peace when it comes to sibling rivalry. I have a 4.5 year old son and an almost 3 year old daughter. My son can be...

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13 yo Boredom

Posted on 4/2/2016

We have a very bored 13 year old on our hands. It is now the school holidays and he is bored, bored,bored. It is not the boredom itself that we are worried about. It is the fact that he shows no...

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6 yo and 3 yo No Family Peace

Posted on 3/20/2016

My daughters are 6 and 3. They think they need constant attention. If I am busy doing something besides talking to them or interacting with them, they are asking me to play, arguing with each...

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Son Is Competitive With Sisters but Not Interested in Sports

Posted on 3/10/2016

Good morning, I have a son who is 7 years old. He is sandwiched in between a 9-year-old and a 6-year-old sister. He sees the girls doing better at things like school, riding a bike, sports, etc. (...

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Sibling Arguing

Posted on 2/24/2016

My kids are 5 (girl) and 9(boy). She is precocious and bates him regularly. She is an extrovert sometimes to the extreme. He is quiet, generally calm, and keeps things inside always trying to...

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