Questions

Consider Changing Strategy with Young Children

Posted on 3/17/2025

I have a 3 and 5 year old. Recently they’ve taken up stalling and doing a half job when I give instructions. When getting ready for school, putting toys away, to doing evening house chores. I...

A Booklover's Guide to Agony

Posted on 2/21/2025

I just received a call from our Head of School stating our 8 year old son threatened another child at school. This is completely out of character for him and when asked about he said"he let his...

Guidance on Son's Challenges

Posted on 2/16/2025

Our 4th child is 9 years old (we have 6 total), and was recently evaluated as having a few diagnosis issues via psychology office. One of them being "oppositional defiant disorder." We have been...

Mom Frustrated With 6YO Not Following Directives

Posted on 12/26/2024

Hello, I'm having issues with my 6 year old following directions and doing things the first time she's asked. I have made her a check list to help her organize her tasks which has helped. If I...

Give Them an Inch...

Posted on 12/8/2024

We are in the process of resetting a slew of bad behaviors (sibling conflict, avoiding responsibility are currently the focus). I'm seeing an increase in defiance/disobedience, both directly and...

4 BOYS ARE BOYS; THEREFORE, THEY ARE MESSY

Posted on 11/13/2024

I’m happy to report that the villain/victim drama has been resolved, with incidents only once a week. I hear whispers of “Please, let’s work this out so we don’t have to go sit for an hour.” I’m...

Look Out Boss, Here Comes the Baby!

Posted on 9/6/2024

I have a 6-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. My daughter is the typical first child who is bossy, little mama and directs her brother frequently on what to do, not to do etc. She’s a...

How to Stop Being a Micromanager

Posted on 7/23/2024

Hi! So I’ve been perusing old questions and answers in your forum, and I’m coming to the distinct impression that I, myself, am a micromanager. Therefore, my first question is, it appears from...

Troublemaking Siblings

Posted on 7/12/2024

Our two youngest children, when together, are troublemakers. They are 6 and 7, but when they are together they revert to large babies—don’t do their chores, lay around, giggle, tickling,...

When Phases and a New Baby Coming Collide

Posted on 7/9/2024

Hi, we transitioned my son to a full bed because he began climbing out of his crib, and it was becoming unsafe. He has always been a great independent sleeper. However, now he requires either me...

Call the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress

Posted on 7/7/2024

Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...

Recognizing the Value of Childhood Chores

Posted on 7/5/2024

Hi there! I am wanting to know what chores I should expect from my three daughters, 3.5yo twins and 6.5yo. They help out here and there, but Dad and I are tired of doing all the clean up and no...

The Grass Really Isn’t Greener on the Other Side

Posted on 3/25/2024

My 10-year-old daughter seems always to think the grass is greener somewhere else. For example, we homeschool, which she enjoys, but often expresses her wish to return to regular school, and when...

Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

Fill His Glass

Posted on 2/23/2024

My 9-year-old son is very negative lately. He seems focused on the "bad" parts of the world. He is worried and frustrated about big problems in the world like destroying the environment, for...

Victimhood by a 10 yro

Posted on 1/6/2024

Our son regularly makes excuses, assigns blame elsewhere, etc. when it comes to taking responsibilities for his decisions. He often plays the "poor me" or victim card. What are your best...

Overspending Lunch Account

Posted on 11/16/2023

My son's school is using a new foodservice company. There have been some bumps as they navigate how to configure it. As of now 5-12 grades are allowed to bill whatever they want to the family...

Cutting the apron strings 3yo

Posted on 11/5/2023

Our daughter is an only child, and I am a stay at home wife. She turned three in June and we are starting to have some difficulties separating her from our interactions as husband and wife during...

Climbing Toddlers

Posted on 11/1/2023

I have two very busy little people (2.5 and 1.5). They are very curious and love to explore but can also be naughty at times. Christmas time will be coming soon and I love to decorate for it. But...

Troubled Teen/Perplexed Parents

Posted on 10/30/2023

Hello, We have a problem dealing with our 15 yr old son's violent behavior when we take his phone or he gets grounded. He has been caught taking his older brother's car late at night (without...

Adjusting the Attitude

Posted on 10/13/2023

Are there any Rosemond certified therapists on the island of Oahu? I've read several of John's books and am still having trouble with my 2 kids, especially my soon to be 13 yrs old son. He was a...

2nd Grader Can't Keep Hands to Himself

Posted on 10/8/2023

My 2nd grade child struggles with keeping his hands to himself in school, a problem we've encountered for the past 2 years. We've actively collaborated with his teachers each year and introduced a...

Cannot serve two masters

Posted on 8/30/2023

Things are going better and God is helping us. I want to continue to stay on top of things and be a good leader for my kids. The issue is after a while, because of how life goes, I start letting...

WE GIVE MANY THANKS FOR THIS UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIAL

Posted on 8/29/2023

Thank you SO much for your advice. Things are going much better. A lot of the drama and stress has cut down. Both kids (2 and 15 months) are happier. I have been praying about it and seeking Godly...

Chores, chores YES

Posted on 8/25/2023

I'm not good at consistently requiring my son's aged 5 and 3 to do any chores around the house. I think they are old enough to start doing regular small tasks but I'm not good at holding them to...

How to Get a Child to Understand the Value of Things

Posted on 8/18/2023

How do you go about your child working off a debt? Our 6-year-old has an old iPhone that he uses like an iPod. it basically only has music on it (and he loves music). He changed the passcode,...

Balancing Adult Responsibilities and Quality Time with Young Children

Posted on 8/9/2023

I hear so much about how kids grow up so fast, how we need to enjoy them when they are young, how they need more one-on-one time, etc. I agree that they grow up fast and that it is important to...

How Much is Too Much?

Posted on 7/14/2023

My son is turning 13 years old this month. I'm seeking advice on how to limit/guide his screen time. Since he was 3 years old, after watching a NOVA episode, he has been enthusiastic about...

Time management motivation

Posted on 5/13/2023

We are entering a season for my 12 year old daughter when we would like her to be more independent. She is great with homework, but still needs to be told to stop homework to go shower, wash up...

Technology and the Preteen Boy

Posted on 4/26/2023

Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...

9 YEAR OLD PUSHING BACK AGAINST HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES

Posted on 2/27/2023

My son is nine years old and the middle child. He is a very capable, charming and intelligent little boy. He’s doing very well in school but is the laziest person I have ever come across. We...

The Third Year of Life - A Time to Learn and Blossom

Posted on 5/24/2022

What chores and responsibilities should a 3.5 year old have? Should there be a designate “workbook/learning” time every day?

Time for a Reboot

Posted on 5/18/2022

Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...

12 Year Old Daughter Unmotivated to do School Work

Posted on 4/6/2022

My 12 year old daughter is not motivated to do school anymore. She is in 6th grade and has always been home-schooled. But now, she is just "dead in the water" and paddling no where. She just lays...

Six Year Old Loves to Scream

Posted on 2/20/2022

My 6 year old has screaming fits nearly every day usually related to being told to do something he doesn't want to or when he is mad at his brother. We have gone back to making him go to his room...

6-Year Old Fit-Pitching: Stay Strong, Mom!

Posted on 2/12/2022

Our six and a half year old is not getting her responsibilities completed on school nights. She is in school all day and then goes to an after school program for a couple of hours (we both work)....

Perfect time for a reset

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

Fear of the New

Posted on 12/15/2021

Our Foster son (8 years old) who we will be adopting in the next 6 months (working on paperwork and all the legal stuff that goes with it) has a very low self esteem and melts down and has a full...

Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)

Posted on 10/26/2021

Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...

Do I Nag Him O'er and O'er? Quoth the Mother: Nevermore!!

Posted on 10/26/2021

We are having major problems getting our 15 soon to be 16 year old out of bed in the mornings for school. We have changed his bed time to an earlier time and he still will not get up. We have to...

How to take my parenting responsibilities back from an 8 yro.

Posted on 8/19/2021

We have 2 boys, a 2yr and 8 yr old. We struggle a lot with the latter since we can remember. His defiance, disrespect, angry reactions, moaning and loud crying seem to be at an all time high....

The Doctor can Help!

Posted on 8/7/2021

My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...

Hang in There!

Posted on 6/1/2021

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

Turn Wasting Time into Making Time

Posted on 5/6/2021

Our 14 year old son has been home schooled this year with a combination of online classes with teachers and online self paced classes. He is struggling with time management. He is behind in most...

It's Payback Time: A Nine-Year Old's Transgression

Posted on 5/6/2021

Ok, my son and wife gave their 9 year old daughter use of an old iPad to play games. My son thought his credit info was disabled and he warned her never to buy ANYTHING. However, he has...

Too Much?

Posted on 4/26/2021

I have two daughters, ages 9 and 11. I have noticed that they have a short attention span when it comes to their free-time activities. For example, they may play with Legos for 20 minutes and...

Create a Toy Library to Foster Resourcefulness

Posted on 3/30/2021

Our 3.5 year old daughter has been difficult with finding things to play with by herself. She’ll say things like “I’m bored” or “what time is it right now?” Because she wants me to tell her what...

Put and End to Nagging Over Chores

Posted on 3/4/2021

Would love some feedback on chores for my 6 and 8 year olds. Every Saturday they are expected to each clean their own mirror and sink in the bathroom, clean either the play room or their bedroom...

Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

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