"A father's contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother. "

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Tips for Purging Toys

Posted 3 weeks ago

My kids have too many toys, dolls and stuffed animals. They are ages 10, 7, 4, and 1. For the older three kids can I just get rid of things without their knowing, or do I need to talk to them...

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Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

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The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

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Ball is in the Parent's Court

Posted on 1/31/2020

Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Young Teenage Boy Has Problem To Solve

Posted on 12/2/2019

Finally: school and studies. Being in junior high now we are trying to encourage better study habits for our son. He has always found school easy and not brought work home to review while still...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Mom on track with chores, allowance

Posted on 11/30/2019

I keep being advised I should use reward charts/money allowances for good behavior and chores around the house (for almost 7 year old). But, something doesn't sit right with me about this. I cant...

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Mom needs to wake up

Posted on 11/25/2019

I’ve read the question “Resetting the dial” - while we don’t have a big family, we do want to start having some family rules e.g. Come when you are called, do not disturb the family peace, getting...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

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3 years old whines and cries

Posted on 10/9/2019

How do I get my newly turned 3 year old to stop whining and crying when it comes time for chores and picking up after herself?

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Custody Decision For 17 YO

Posted on 9/26/2019

John, I have read many of your books and listen to your podcast regularly. I am a Christian and agree with your biblical parenting principles. However, I am divorce from an atheist and he is...

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7 yro needs a check up from the good old Dr.

Posted on 8/26/2019

I am starting my 3rd year of homeschooling my son who is now a 7 year old 2nd grader. And this year I’ve added my 5 year old kindergartener. I have struggled with the 7 year old obeying me...

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Making an Imprint

Posted on 7/21/2019

Our two girls (6-year old and 4-year old) share one room. Today my wife told them to clean the table before dinner (where they made a mess while playing) and the girls just ignored her request. My...

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A Morning Dawdler

Posted on 7/16/2019

Hi there, How do I get my 5 year old to do his morning routine - is get dressed, make bed and brush teeth without being told? We have put up pictures of what needs to be done but he plays...

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10-Year-Old Lying - One More Thing

Posted on 7/16/2019

My 10-year-old son has a problem with lying. We have not figured out a solution that completely eradicates this problem, yet. Most recently, we left him at home while we went grocery shopping...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Following the Leader

Posted on 5/21/2019

My girls, ages 6,5 and 3, prefer to follow me around during their free time. They just like to watch what I’m doing and talk and sometimes be involved in what I’m doing. I wonder if I should send...

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6th Grade Boy Has Problem to Solve

Posted on 5/2/2019

My 6th-grade child has no drive. He is making poor grades, and I think we are caring too much...so he doesn’t have to care. My question is: how do we make HIM care?!

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Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted on 4/13/2019

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

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Distractible Kids - Frustrated Mom

Posted on 3/30/2019

Dear Rosemond and team, Im still having a tough time with the kids. I'll just write 2 questions in one - My almost 5 year old finally earned his 30 stickers (from no tantrums + aggression)..now...

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Strike a Balance

Posted on 3/26/2019

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

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6 yro has trouble occupying herself

Posted on 3/25/2019

Our 6-year-old daughter does not like to occupy herself. When we ask her to play by herself, she keeps coming from her room asking us to play with her or asking us to be with her. But when she is...

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'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted on 3/12/2019

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

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Life After College is Too Comfortable- Time to Adult

Posted on 3/11/2019

Hello, My stepson in 23 and a recent college graduate with a communication degree. His father and I have been married 2 years. His parents are concerned about his seemingly lack of motivation to...

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How much is enough?

Posted on 3/8/2019

I am wondering what you would say would normally expect to be included for a schedule for a 3 year old staying at home. I have my older 2 in school for parts of the day, and I have my younger...

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Lowering the Boom

Posted on 3/1/2019

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

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The Terrible 12's

Posted on 2/7/2019

A few months have passed. This school year seems to have been a big step for my now 12 year old. We have been struggling most of the school year and just got his grades for the second quarter. The...

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8 y/o Boy Distracted Easily At School

Posted on 1/30/2019

We have an 8yo boy. His teacher let us know he “often gets distracted in the middle of a task, needs multiple reminders to turn in work, write down his homework, and to focus on the task at...

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Solution to a messy morning.

Posted on 1/17/2019

We wear uniforms to school and without fail 2 to 3 times a week my 5 1/2-year-old girl spills something from breakfast or toothpaste on a large noticeable portion of her uniform. An easy fix to...

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Liberating the Playmate Dad

Posted on 1/11/2019

I read the column by Dinah Bucholz, Stop Paying Attention to Your Kids. I'm struggling because this is my downfall. My daughter wants me to play with her constantly. I have an overwhelming sense...

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Who's the Boss? 3-Year-Old Monitors Younger Sibling

Posted on 1/6/2019

Hello! Our oldest daughter (3.5 years) watches over our youngest (1.5). For instance, whenever our youngest is doing something harmful or dangerous our oldest calls me. Lately she also started...

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14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

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Where's That Wonderful Daughter?

Posted on 12/12/2018

My 8-year-old daughter has been a wonderful child until about a month ago. She’s lying a lot, not doing what we ask her to do, and she talks back. I have asked her what is wrong, and she tells me...

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16 year old lacks motivation

Posted on 12/9/2018

My son has become increasingly argumentative and disrespectful. He only seems to care about material things. He is now 16 years old and he is working with a job coach to help him with getting a...

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The Headless Choresmen

Posted on 12/7/2018

Having completed "Parenting by the Book" , I sadly realize I have done my children no favors by doing so much for them. They are now 7 and 11 and need to be reminded to do every little thing. We...

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11 year old not paying attention to parents

Posted on 12/6/2018

I just reviewed a questions from another subscriber using a ticket system with a 7 year old to nip multiple behaviors in the bud. In the answer I read "You cannot disciple or discipline a child...

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School Age Attention Seeker

Posted on 11/5/2018

I have a 10 yo who says she is good at nothing, not intelligent, not good at school. She is not putting effort in nothing she is doing. She doesn't want to do her homeworks and doesn't care if...

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GrandmaMa held hostage by the 4 year old

Posted on 10/18/2018

I am back peddling to hopefully resolve a problem I most Ilkely created! Just for transparency!,,,,,,,,, I am raising a 4.5 yr old Grandson. Due to circumstances far beyond our control...we...

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Don't Play Dumb With Me

Posted on 10/9/2018

My son is 8 years old and is having behavioral problems. One of his issues is playing dumb. He always acts like he doesn't know what he's supposed to be doing and is always leaving his belongings...

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Growing an Independent Three Year Old

Posted on 10/6/2018

Hello! Our daughter is three and a half years old, and we have noticed that she plays very little independently. When I start cooking, she wants to sit on the counter and help; when I do...

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Getting a 4 and 6 yr old help get ready for school bus

Posted on 9/24/2018

This year my 4 year old has joined my 6 year old in the morning school routine, as she is in 4K and the other in 1st grade. They take the bus to school together and they have a list of things to...

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Routine Chart for Toddler

Posted on 9/5/2018

Routine daily tasks are a struggle with my 23 month old. Brushing teeth, putting her hair up, taking it down, scrubbing in the bath, washing her hair, and when I have to do them all at bedtime...

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working parents with a 3 yro

Posted on 8/14/2018

Our girl will be 3 beginning of November. She is going to Montessori School 5 days a week from 9am till 5:30pm. We are dance teachers, we teach adults at our own Argentine Tango Studio, so most...

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Lights out! on Agonizing, Nagging & Hovering

Posted on 8/13/2018

After reading one of John's books recently, it's been like a light bulb coming on for me. A very bright, harsh light bulb... There are so many ways I have been failing. I've been implementing...

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