"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

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Hang in There!

Posted on 6/1/2021

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

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Turn Wasting Time into Making Time

Posted on 5/6/2021

Our 14 year old son has been home schooled this year with a combination of online classes with teachers and online self paced classes. He is struggling with time management. He is behind in most...

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It's Payback Time: A Nine-Year Old's Transgression

Posted on 5/6/2021

Ok, my son and wife gave their 9 year old daughter use of an old iPad to play games. My son thought his credit info was disabled and he warned her never to buy ANYTHING. However, he has...

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Too Much?

Posted on 4/26/2021

I have two daughters, ages 9 and 11. I have noticed that they have a short attention span when it comes to their free-time activities. For example, they may play with Legos for 20 minutes and...

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Create a Toy Library to Foster Resourcefulness

Posted on 3/30/2021

Our 3.5 year old daughter has been difficult with finding things to play with by herself. She’ll say things like “I’m bored” or “what time is it right now?” Because she wants me to tell her what...

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Put and End to Nagging Over Chores

Posted on 3/4/2021

Would love some feedback on chores for my 6 and 8 year olds. Every Saturday they are expected to each clean their own mirror and sink in the bathroom, clean either the play room or their bedroom...

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Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

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When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted on 2/16/2021

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

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Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

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Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

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Flush it away

Posted on 1/27/2021

My 6 year old has been putting small poops down the bathroom sink drain and bathtub. This has just started as far as we know and usually occurs during his nighttime shower time which he does...

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Squirrel! - Follow up

Posted on 1/22/2021

Re: Squirrel Thank you for your helpful response to my earlier question about my easily distractible 6 year old. All good reminders. We have done all these things (admittedly probably not as...

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Squirrel!

Posted on 1/19/2021

I have a 6 year old who struggles to stay focused on ANY given task. It doesnt seem to be deliberate or naughty in nature, rather more like chasing a butterfly or a puppy chasing a squirrel. He...

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Task avoider

Posted on 1/13/2021

Hi, John and Team! My husband and I cannot get our 17 yo old son to complete the most basic of tasks regarding his room! On a daily basis, we expect him to make his bed, keep dirty clothes in...

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Don't Ask, Do Tell

Posted on 12/16/2020

My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...

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Normal? Problem? Normal Problem?

Posted on 10/31/2020

Hello! I'm worried about my almost-14-YO daughter. Her grades remain good and she is still on her soccer team. She does not have a smartphone or tablet. Our wifi is off every night starting at 10...

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The Time for Tough Love is NOW

Posted on 10/31/2020

My son is 19 years old and has been graduated from high school for 1 1/2 years. His teen years were a struggle with almost not graduating, drug use and getting into trouble with the law. He no...

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10 Year Old Regresses in Behavior

Posted on 10/30/2020

My son is 10 years old and is going through a major regression. He knows all of the rules and has been doing great but with some recent changes to his schedule he's falling right back to where he...

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Night Owl Habit

Posted on 8/28/2020

Still a daily struggle here and school is about to start. I gave in and allowed the computer back, but I cannot get this kid on a schedule of getting up for the day and sleeping at night. He is...

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Needy 5 year old

Posted on 8/10/2020

My soon to be ( in 2 months) 5 year old is extremely needy. He doesn't play by himself and if he does it is for a very short time. 20 to 30 minutes maybe. He will not go to sleep without one of us...

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Tips for Purging Toys

Posted on 6/11/2020

My kids have too many toys, dolls and stuffed animals. They are ages 10, 7, 4, and 1. For the older three kids can I just get rid of things without their knowing, or do I need to talk to them...

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Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

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The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

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Ball is in the Parent's Court

Posted on 1/31/2020

Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...

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Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted on 1/8/2020

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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Young Teenage Boy Has Problem To Solve

Posted on 12/2/2019

Finally: school and studies. Being in junior high now we are trying to encourage better study habits for our son. He has always found school easy and not brought work home to review while still...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Mom on track with chores, allowance

Posted on 11/30/2019

I keep being advised I should use reward charts/money allowances for good behavior and chores around the house (for almost 7 year old). But, something doesn't sit right with me about this. I cant...

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Mom needs to wake up

Posted on 11/25/2019

I’ve read the question “Resetting the dial” - while we don’t have a big family, we do want to start having some family rules e.g. Come when you are called, do not disturb the family peace, getting...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

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3 years old whines and cries

Posted on 10/9/2019

How do I get my newly turned 3 year old to stop whining and crying when it comes time for chores and picking up after herself?

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Custody Decision For 17 YO

Posted on 9/26/2019

John, I have read many of your books and listen to your podcast regularly. I am a Christian and agree with your biblical parenting principles. However, I am divorce from an atheist and he is...

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7 yro needs a check up from the good old Dr.

Posted on 8/26/2019

I am starting my 3rd year of homeschooling my son who is now a 7 year old 2nd grader. And this year I’ve added my 5 year old kindergartener. I have struggled with the 7 year old obeying me...

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Making an Imprint

Posted on 7/21/2019

Our two girls (6-year old and 4-year old) share one room. Today my wife told them to clean the table before dinner (where they made a mess while playing) and the girls just ignored her request. My...

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A Morning Dawdler

Posted on 7/16/2019

Hi there, How do I get my 5 year old to do his morning routine - is get dressed, make bed and brush teeth without being told? We have put up pictures of what needs to be done but he plays...

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10-Year-Old Lying - One More Thing

Posted on 7/16/2019

My 10-year-old son has a problem with lying. We have not figured out a solution that completely eradicates this problem, yet. Most recently, we left him at home while we went grocery shopping...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Following the Leader

Posted on 5/21/2019

My girls, ages 6,5 and 3, prefer to follow me around during their free time. They just like to watch what I’m doing and talk and sometimes be involved in what I’m doing. I wonder if I should send...

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6th Grade Boy Has Problem to Solve

Posted on 5/2/2019

My 6th-grade child has no drive. He is making poor grades, and I think we are caring too much...so he doesn’t have to care. My question is: how do we make HIM care?!

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Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted on 4/13/2019

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

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Distractible Kids - Frustrated Mom

Posted on 3/30/2019

Dear Rosemond and team, Im still having a tough time with the kids. I'll just write 2 questions in one - My almost 5 year old finally earned his 30 stickers (from no tantrums + aggression)..now...

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Strike a Balance

Posted on 3/26/2019

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

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