Questions
Time management motivation
Posted 3 weeks ago
We are entering a season for my 12 year old daughter when we would like her to be more independent. She is great with homework, but still needs to be told to stop homework to go shower, wash up...
Read MoreTechnology and the Preteen Boy
Posted on 4/26/2023
Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...
Read More9 YEAR OLD PUSHING BACK AGAINST HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES
Posted on 2/27/2023
My son is nine years old and the middle child. He is a very capable, charming and intelligent little boy. He’s doing very well in school but is the laziest person I have ever come across. We...
Read MoreThe Third Year of Life - A Time to Learn and Blossom
Posted on 5/24/2022
What chores and responsibilities should a 3.5 year old have? Should there be a designate “workbook/learning” time every day?
Read MoreTime for a Reboot
Posted on 5/18/2022
Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...
Read More12 Year Old Daughter Unmotivated to do School Work
Posted on 4/6/2022
My 12 year old daughter is not motivated to do school anymore. She is in 6th grade and has always been home-schooled. But now, she is just "dead in the water" and paddling no where. She just lays...
Read MoreSix Year Old Loves to Scream
Posted on 2/20/2022
My 6 year old has screaming fits nearly every day usually related to being told to do something he doesn't want to or when he is mad at his brother. We have gone back to making him go to his room...
Read More6-Year Old Fit-Pitching: Stay Strong, Mom!
Posted on 2/12/2022
Our six and a half year old is not getting her responsibilities completed on school nights. She is in school all day and then goes to an after school program for a couple of hours (we both work)....
Read MorePerfect time for a reset
Posted on 1/18/2022
Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...
Read MoreFear of the New
Posted on 12/15/2021
Our Foster son (8 years old) who we will be adopting in the next 6 months (working on paperwork and all the legal stuff that goes with it) has a very low self esteem and melts down and has a full...
Read MoreFive Year Old Slugger
Posted on 11/1/2021
Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...
Read MoreWho Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)
Posted on 10/26/2021
Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has...
Read MoreDo I Nag Him O'er and O'er? Quoth the Mother: Nevermore!!
Posted on 10/26/2021
We are having major problems getting our 15 soon to be 16 year old out of bed in the mornings for school. We have changed his bed time to an earlier time and he still will not get up. We have to...
Read MoreHow to take my parenting responsibilities back from an 8 yro.
Posted on 8/19/2021
We have 2 boys, a 2yr and 8 yr old. We struggle a lot with the latter since we can remember. His defiance, disrespect, angry reactions, moaning and loud crying seem to be at an all time high....
Read MoreThe Doctor can Help!
Posted on 8/7/2021
My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...
Read MoreHang in There!
Posted on 6/1/2021
When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...
Read MoreTurn Wasting Time into Making Time
Posted on 5/6/2021
Our 14 year old son has been home schooled this year with a combination of online classes with teachers and online self paced classes. He is struggling with time management. He is behind in most...
Read MoreIt's Payback Time: A Nine-Year Old's Transgression
Posted on 5/6/2021
Ok, my son and wife gave their 9 year old daughter use of an old iPad to play games. My son thought his credit info was disabled and he warned her never to buy ANYTHING. However, he has...
Read MoreToo Much?
Posted on 4/26/2021
I have two daughters, ages 9 and 11. I have noticed that they have a short attention span when it comes to their free-time activities. For example, they may play with Legos for 20 minutes and...
Read MoreCreate a Toy Library to Foster Resourcefulness
Posted on 3/30/2021
Our 3.5 year old daughter has been difficult with finding things to play with by herself. She’ll say things like “I’m bored” or “what time is it right now?” Because she wants me to tell her what...
Read MorePut and End to Nagging Over Chores
Posted on 3/4/2021
Would love some feedback on chores for my 6 and 8 year olds. Every Saturday they are expected to each clean their own mirror and sink in the bathroom, clean either the play room or their bedroom...
Read MoreEncouraging Resourcefulness
Posted on 2/26/2021
My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...
Read MoreWhen Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase
Posted on 2/16/2021
Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...
Read MoreWhy Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?
Posted on 2/7/2021
Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...
Read MoreBoys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine
Posted on 1/28/2021
My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...
Read MoreFlush it away
Posted on 1/27/2021
My 6 year old has been putting small poops down the bathroom sink drain and bathtub. This has just started as far as we know and usually occurs during his nighttime shower time which he does...
Read MoreSquirrel! - Follow up
Posted on 1/22/2021
Re: Squirrel Thank you for your helpful response to my earlier question about my easily distractible 6 year old. All good reminders. We have done all these things (admittedly probably not as...
Read MoreSquirrel!
Posted on 1/19/2021
I have a 6 year old who struggles to stay focused on ANY given task. It doesnt seem to be deliberate or naughty in nature, rather more like chasing a butterfly or a puppy chasing a squirrel. He...
Read MoreTask avoider
Posted on 1/13/2021
Hi, John and Team! My husband and I cannot get our 17 yo old son to complete the most basic of tasks regarding his room! On a daily basis, we expect him to make his bed, keep dirty clothes in...
Read MoreDon't Ask, Do Tell
Posted on 12/16/2020
My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...
Read MoreNormal? Problem? Normal Problem?
Posted on 10/31/2020
Hello! I'm worried about my almost-14-YO daughter. Her grades remain good and she is still on her soccer team. She does not have a smartphone or tablet. Our wifi is off every night starting at 10...
Read MoreThe Time for Tough Love is NOW
Posted on 10/31/2020
My son is 19 years old and has been graduated from high school for 1 1/2 years. His teen years were a struggle with almost not graduating, drug use and getting into trouble with the law. He no...
Read More10 Year Old Regresses in Behavior
Posted on 10/30/2020
My son is 10 years old and is going through a major regression. He knows all of the rules and has been doing great but with some recent changes to his schedule he's falling right back to where he...
Read MoreTeens and Technology: Education is Key for Safety
Posted on 10/14/2020
We have not allowed our 3 children ages 12, 14 and 15 to have cell phones. They also do not have Social Media accounts. They are allowed to text or FaceTime friends or cousins using our phones. ...
Read MoreParenting a Disrespectful Teen with Divorced Parents
Posted on 10/10/2020
Almost two years ago my husband left (affair) and we are in a very difficult divorce. We are not friendly and don’t communicate other than texting. We have four children together and have 50/50...
Read MoreNight Owl Habit
Posted on 8/28/2020
Still a daily struggle here and school is about to start. I gave in and allowed the computer back, but I cannot get this kid on a schedule of getting up for the day and sleeping at night. He is...
Read MoreNeedy 5 year old
Posted on 8/10/2020
My soon to be ( in 2 months) 5 year old is extremely needy. He doesn't play by himself and if he does it is for a very short time. 20 to 30 minutes maybe. He will not go to sleep without one of us...
Read MoreWhat to Do About Screen Addiction?
Posted on 7/5/2020
My 11-year-old son is obsessed with screens. If we tell him to do something while he is on his phone or iPad he huffs and puffs or we are told, “in a minute." Then he only gets 2 out of 3 chores...
Read MoreTips for Purging Toys
Posted on 6/11/2020
My kids have too many toys, dolls and stuffed animals. They are ages 10, 7, 4, and 1. For the older three kids can I just get rid of things without their knowing, or do I need to talk to them...
Read MoreHelping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging
Posted on 4/14/2020
My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...
Read MoreThe Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years
Posted on 2/27/2020
my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...
Read MoreBall is in the Parent's Court
Posted on 1/31/2020
Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...
Read MoreTime for a Reset
Posted on 1/12/2020
Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...
Read More6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores
Posted on 1/12/2020
Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...
Read MoreAlpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey
Posted on 1/10/2020
I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...
Read MoreNo Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy
Posted on 1/8/2020
My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...
Read MoreRelationship Reboot
Posted on 12/9/2019
This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...
Read MoreYoung Teenage Boy Has Problem To Solve
Posted on 12/2/2019
Finally: school and studies. Being in junior high now we are trying to encourage better study habits for our son. He has always found school easy and not brought work home to review while still...
Read MoreHow Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?
Posted on 12/2/2019
I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...
Read MoreMom on track with chores, allowance
Posted on 11/30/2019
I keep being advised I should use reward charts/money allowances for good behavior and chores around the house (for almost 7 year old). But, something doesn't sit right with me about this. I cant...
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