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Define "Disciplined"

Posted on 9/23/2021

Whenever we have friends or family over or we’re at an event with other kids our 4 year old daughter very rarely engages in playing with the children and constantly wants to be where the adults...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Socialization/Social Skills

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Time for A Garden Kick

Posted on 8/27/2021

We have our 12 year old son's phone locked for certain reasons. If his grades slip below a B we lock it so he can only call family, if he is disrespectful or doesn't complete his chores, his...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Lying, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Teenage Issues

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Granny is Tired of 7 Year Olds Nightly Walks

Posted on 8/21/2021

My granddaughter lives with me, along with her two children The 7 year old boy is a tough case. His mother and I do NOT parent anything alike. This boy gets up almost every night and roams the...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Bedwetting, Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Single Parents

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Who's in Charge?

Posted on 8/21/2021

My issue is that I have two boys ages 6 and 3. Both will not stay in place on timeout or stay in their bedroom on timeout when my husband is not home. Do you have any recommendations?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority

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How to take my parenting responsibilities back from an 8 yro.

Posted on 8/19/2021

We have 2 boys, a 2yr and 8 yr old. We struggle a lot with the latter since we can remember. His defiance, disrespect, angry reactions, moaning and loud crying seem to be at an all time high....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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"Anything for Attention and The Most Annoying Thing Ever"

Posted on 8/11/2021

I have a seven year old boy who is a copycat. There are adults around him who clear their throat, so now he is clearing his throat. It has become a habit and when he gets mad, he exaggerates it...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

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The Doctor can Help!

Posted on 8/7/2021

My son is 6. He recently has been throwing screaming fits and occasionally outright refusing to do things such as get dressed or wash himself in the bath. We feel like we cannot “make” him do...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

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You're in Charge

Posted on 8/6/2021

My son is 9 yo. Like his dad and me, he tends to be in the chunky side of the physique spectrum. Being an only child....not having permanent full time playmates makes it easy for him to not be as...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Mothers, Only Children, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Do What You Can Do

Posted on 7/30/2021

My stepsons are 12 and 14. We also have a 4 and 2 year old. Their mother has been generally uncooperative and at times hostile to us, and treats the boys very differently. She doesn’t seem to like...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Step-Families

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Convert Nap Time to Quiet Time As Toddler Outgrows Naps

Posted on 7/17/2021

My just turned 2 year old toddler is refusing naps. She has been out of routine since the clocks have changed and as we have just moved and not been at home for nap times so I’ve let her sleep in...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Disobedience/Defiance, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

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8 year old boy missing his friends after moving

Posted on 7/16/2021

We’ve recently relocated and all my 8 year old does is complain he misses his old friends from his old school. I understand transitions are difficult and life has changed a lot but my sons quality...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Socialization/Social Skills

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8-Year-Old Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Posted on 7/15/2021

Sometimes my 8 year old is lovely and I feel so proud of him. Other times like today, I am speechless, humiliated, overwhelmed and defeated. I picked my son up from boys brigades and he was...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

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A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Mom Feels 3-Year-Old Asks For Permission in Excess

Posted on 7/1/2021

Hi, my daughter 3 yrs old, needs us to tell her or ‘give permission’ for most of the things she does. The cookie would be right in front of her and she would say ‘I want the cookie’. Going to pee...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority

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To Ballet, Or Not to Ballet?

Posted on 6/24/2021

I'm a homeschooling mom of two (ages almost 10 and 11). My daughters are involved in a Christian ballet school as an extra curricular activity. They have been going to ballet for about three...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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18 MO Showing Herself In More Ways Than One

Posted on 6/18/2021

How do we discipline our 18 month old daughter? She has started throwing her toys or other items out of frustration or in an attempt to get our attention. She has also started slapping me. When...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Lock Up

Posted on 6/15/2021

I am reading through John’s terrific 2 book and he mentions using child locks on kitchen cabinet doors etc but I am in rented accommodation and not allowed to put fitted child locks on the kitchen...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Spanking, Terrible Twos

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Aggression Toward Family Pet Is Unacceptable

Posted on 6/15/2021

Help…my 5 year old kicked our 6 month old puppy so hard I think his leg may be broken. I am disturbed beyond words. Heartbroken and feel like I’m a horrible parent. She first lied and said he...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Tough Love Needed For 25 YO Daughter

Posted on 6/13/2021

How do I correct the co-dependent relationship I have with my 25 year old daughter--that I just came to recognize. I'm a people pleaser and she's a controller, so guess who wins... I need help....

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority

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Teaching Respect

Posted on 6/13/2021

My twin 6-year olds (one boy, one girl) are pretty good kids most of the time. But recently we’ve been struggling. They listen and obey my husband and I, but they don’t listen to other adults....

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Hang in There!

Posted on 6/1/2021

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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Nine Year Old Drama

Posted on 5/22/2021

I'm worried about my daughter who's 9 years old. She is overly concerned with what people think of her. She gets easily embarrassed and is highly sensitive. I feel like she feels everyone doesn't...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Self-Esteem, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

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Toddler On The Run Needs To Stop In His Tracks

Posted on 5/20/2021

My 3 year old has started running away from me when we’re out, and also opening the front door and walking out. How should I handle this?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Stop!

Posted on 5/17/2021

My two year old daughter has recently been running away from me when we are in parking lots or near the street. I gave her a firm spanking, but she keeps doing it. What should I do?

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Terrible Twos

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

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Consultation Inquiry

Posted on 5/12/2021

Hello, This question is about my child's disobedience. In my opinion, he is a very independent type A 5 year old. He always wans to be the boss. I have been trying the methods mentioned on the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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Who's in Charge?

Posted on 5/10/2021

I gave my son (15) liberty to listen to music via YouTube. He likes rap and for awhile listened to clean versions of songs. But that recently changed. He told me that the song Rap Star by Polo G...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Teenage Issues

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Turn Wasting Time into Making Time

Posted on 5/6/2021

Our 14 year old son has been home schooled this year with a combination of online classes with teachers and online self paced classes. He is struggling with time management. He is behind in most...

Ages: Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Homeschooling, Homework, Parent Leadership and Authority, School Issues, Teenage Issues

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Too Much?

Posted on 4/26/2021

I have two daughters, ages 9 and 11. I have noticed that they have a short attention span when it comes to their free-time activities. For example, they may play with Legos for 20 minutes and...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

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9 Year Old Can Solve Sleep Problem

Posted on 4/23/2021

Our 9 yr old son suddenly started waking up 1-3 times during the night (usually sometime) between 11pm-3am, and is consistently waking us up as well. It began with him being irrational about...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years), Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years), Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Fathers, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Self-Esteem, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Teenage Issues

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A "Hairy" Problem

Posted on 4/21/2021

I have a sixth grade girl who is constantly, yes constantly, playing with her long hair. Playing means pulling it in front of her face and separating it, examining each individual hair, examining...

Ages: Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, Teenage Issues

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To Retain or Not to Retain

Posted on 4/16/2021

My daughter is in 3rd grade at a Christian private school. She has struggled since kindergarten to keep up, but we helped her along, with tutoring and occupational therapy to help her with the...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority, School Issues, Self-Esteem

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She's Got an Arm!

Posted on 4/13/2021

My 2 year old daughter is throwing anything and everything she can find when she feels upset or does not get her way ... any advice? We have tried ignoring it but she just grabs more things to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Terrible Twos

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Time for a Potty Training Reset

Posted on 4/13/2021

We are currently attempting to potty train our 21-month-old boy. It has been almost one month of training and we are having almost zero success with getting him to sit on the potty to pee or poop....

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos, Toilet Training

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Indulgent Grandparents

Posted on 4/12/2021

My 6 year old son has been spending more time with my parents without me present for special time. When I’m not there he has a level of indulgence that I think is probably common at grandparent’s...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect

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Be the Mean Mum!

Posted on 4/11/2021

My 8 year old son has came back from spending the weekend with his dad and dad's family. He said I’m a strict mean mum because his 8 year old cousin has an iPhone, TikTok and YouTube channel...

Ages: School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Divorce/Custody, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Fathers, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Single Parents

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Should Parents Start Naked & $75 Before or After they Move?

Posted on 4/8/2021

My son, who is 20 months old has stomach issues with constipation. On average he is constipated about two times a month at least. We are starting potty training this weekend, and we are worried...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills, Toilet Training

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Setting Self Aside--A Teen's Family Obligation

Posted on 4/4/2021

My husband works out of town every other week. He is out of town for the Easter holiday. He does not have a relationship with my older son, who is living at home during this college semester. He...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Fathers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Create a Toy Library to Foster Resourcefulness

Posted on 3/30/2021

Our 3.5 year old daughter has been difficult with finding things to play with by herself. She’ll say things like “I’m bored” or “what time is it right now?” Because she wants me to tell her what...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

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Toddler Needs Help Working Through Separation Anxiety

Posted on 3/29/2021

My 15 month old daughter will cry and cry if my husband and I wont pick her up or give her all of our attention. This isn't feasible since we have things we have to get done. How can we help her...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Parent Leadership and Authority

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19 Year-old Son's Girlfriend Glued to Her Phone

Posted on 3/22/2021

My nineteen-year-old son is living at home attending college during COVID. His girlfriend comes to visit on the weekends. She does not engage in conversation with me or make eye contact but is...

Ages: Young Adult (19-25 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Manners, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

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Senior Picture Haircut Battle

Posted on 3/22/2021

My seventeen year old son has been growing his hair out. It is time for his senior pictures and I want him to get a haircut. His girlfriend likes his hair, therefore he is reluctant to cut it. How...

Ages: Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Teenage Issues

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Door-slamming, Window-banging, Stuff-throwing: Is This What Little Boys are Made of?

Posted on 3/19/2021

I have a high misbehaver and he has been on the ticket system for many months with two target misbehaviors of disobedience and fighting with his brother. I need some advice of how to switch him...

Ages: No Specific Age

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

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Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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She's a Screamer!

Posted on 3/9/2021

My two year old daughter has developed a habit of screaming. She scream when doesn’t get what she wants or her brother takes something from her. How do I address this misbehavior? I know she is...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

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Yelling and spanking are ineffective parenting tools.

Posted on 3/4/2021

We live with my parents and our two kids (1, and almost 3). My mom particularly is mad about the "being calm" advice. She feels that I need to scold my almost 3-year-old and that there is no logic...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority

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Put and End to Nagging Over Chores

Posted on 3/4/2021

Would love some feedback on chores for my 6 and 8 year olds. Every Saturday they are expected to each clean their own mirror and sink in the bathroom, clean either the play room or their bedroom...

Ages: No Specific Age, School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Homework, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

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