Step-Families
John's Most Recent Articles
Fixing Our 'Parent-View'
Posted on 9/28/2021
Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...
Read MorePutting Child First Can Ruin Marriage
Posted on 8/8/2018
Q: I am stepfather to my wife’s only child, age 8, from her first marriage. My wife always and in every way puts her son before our marriage. We went through counseling several years ago and...
Read MoreStepfamily or Just "Family"?
Posted on 11/7/2017
A journalist called me the other day wanting me to make some pithy, erudite comments on the subject of the so-called "stepfamily." I am eminently qualified, I propose, to remark on the subject...
Read MoreStepparents Should Have Authority over Teens, Too
Posted on 8/24/2016
Q: In a recent column, you advise that stepparents have complete disciplinary authority over all children who live in or visit the home, but do you feel the same policy should apply when the...
Read MoreStepfathers Must Have Complete Disciplinary Discretion
Posted on 8/2/2016
Q: The woman I’ve been dating—a single mom with two young boys—and I have decided to get married. My only reservation, and I’ve told her this, concerns the stepfather thing. I’m not clear and...
Read MoreDon't Let Ex's Parenting Shortfalls Influence Your Parenting
Posted on 4/19/2016
Q: We are a struggling blended family. My husband has three children (ages 7, 12, 17) from a previous marriage. Their mother's home is focused on the easiest way of parenting. She allows...
Read MoreStep-Family Issues: Parent From the Marriage
Posted on 11/15/2011
How to 'parent from the marriage' Q: Several years ago, I married a widower who never disciplined his children. They are now 9, 14 and 16 and he still has a very difficult time denying them...
Read MoreStepfamily or Just "Family"
Posted on 6/20/2011
A journalist called me the other day wanting me to make some pithy, erudite comments on the subject of the so-called "stepfamily." I am eminently qualified, I propose, to remark on the subject...
Read MoreStep-Family Recommendations
Posted on 6/7/2011
A stepfamily by any other name is a family A journalist called me the other day wanting me to comment on the subject of the "stepfamily." I was raised in one, although it was not called a...
Read MoreSon From a Previous Marriage
Posted on 10/26/2010
Who should tell son of half-brother? Q: My ex-husband and I aren't friendly. Ours was his second marriage. His first marriage produced a child, but when he and his first wife divorced, he...
Read MoreRecent Questions
Who’s in Charge Here?
Posted 1 week ago
I'm the stepfather to a 16-year-old daughter. She has a strong willed personality. She wants her independence, and her mother and I are giving her more freedom to do what she wants with her...
Read MoreBe the Adult in the Room
Posted on 12/20/2022
Here goes the scenario, most of the time this happens while eating dinner, where one of my step kids will correct my "wording" or how I "phrased some words" I used in a sentence. I work all day...
Read More10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"
Posted on 10/13/2022
My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...
Read MoreStep-parent woes
Posted on 8/17/2022
Hi, I'm a step-dad to two girls 16 and 13. I have a daughter of my own 14. I'm having a difficult time with Perspective regarding raising teenagers as I have no clue. I like people to do...
Read More11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER
Posted on 6/11/2022
My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...
Read MoreTeen leaders in the home means chaos
Posted on 2/1/2022
"My Perspective" I'm a stepfather to 2 girls ages 15 & 12. Also, I have a 13 year old daughter of my own. We have all lived together for 4 years. Before combining families I had fears of being...
Read MoreParent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child
Posted on 1/19/2022
This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...
Read MoreControlling behavior from an 8 year old.
Posted on 10/16/2021
Hello, a big thank you for your constant help. I have a new question about my 8 year old step son (whom we have with us about 1-2 days a week). He wants us to repeat everything that is being...
Read MoreDo What You Can Do
Posted on 7/30/2021
My stepsons are 12 and 14. We also have a 4 and 2 year old. Their mother has been generally uncooperative and at times hostile to us, and treats the boys very differently. She doesn’t seem to like...
Read MoreGrandson Needs to be Held More Accountable
Posted on 1/15/2021
I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...
Read MoreTopics Covered
- ADHD and other disorders
- Adoption/Foster Parent
- Aggression
- Allowances
- Alpha Speech
- Anxieties, Fears
- Arguments with Children
- Audio Files
- Bedtime/Sleep
- Bedwetting
- Bullies/Bullying
- Character/Values (teaching)
- Chores/Responsibilities
- College
- Consequences/Punishment
- Daycare/Preschool
- Depression/Self-Harm
- Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking)
- Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)
- Disobedience/Defiance
- Divorce/Custody
- Drugs (marijuana, cocaine, etc.)
- Education
- Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones)
- Elementary School
- Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies
- Father
- Food/Eating Problems
- Gender
- Gentle Parenting
- Grandparents/Grandchildren
- High School
- Homeschooling
- Homework
- John's Discipline Methods
- Learning Disabilities
- Lying
- Manners
- Marriage Issues
- Mealtime/Eating
- Mental Health
- Miscellaneous Discipline Problems
- Miscellaneous Editorial Columns
- Mothers
- Only Children
- Pacifiers/Security Blankets/Thumbsucking
- Parent Leadership and Authority
- Play
- Preschool
- Rebellious Behavior
- Respect
- Rewards
- School Issues
- Self-Esteem
- Sexual Issues
- Shyness
- Sibling Conflict
- Single Parents
- Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)
- Socialization/Social Skills
- Spanking
- Step-Families
- Tantrums
- Teenage Issues
- Terrible Twos
- Toilet Training
