Step-Families
John's Most Recent Articles
Fixing Our 'Parent-View'
Posted on 9/28/2021
Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...
Read MorePutting Child First Can Ruin Marriage
Posted on 8/8/2018
Q: I am stepfather to my wife’s only child, age 8, from her first marriage. My wife always and in every way puts her son before our marriage. We went through counseling several years ago and...
Read MoreStepfamily or Just "Family"?
Posted on 11/7/2017
A journalist called me the other day wanting me to make some pithy, erudite comments on the subject of the so-called "stepfamily." I am eminently qualified, I propose, to remark on the subject...
Read MoreStepparents Should Have Authority over Teens, Too
Posted on 8/24/2016
Q: In a recent column, you advise that stepparents have complete disciplinary authority over all children who live in or visit the home, but do you feel the same policy should apply when the...
Read MoreStepfathers Must Have Complete Disciplinary Discretion
Posted on 8/2/2016
Q: The woman I’ve been dating—a single mom with two young boys—and I have decided to get married. My only reservation, and I’ve told her this, concerns the stepfather thing. I’m not clear and...
Read MoreDon't Let Ex's Parenting Shortfalls Influence Your Parenting
Posted on 4/19/2016
Q: We are a struggling blended family. My husband has three children (ages 7, 12, 17) from a previous marriage. Their mother's home is focused on the easiest way of parenting. She allows...
Read MoreStep-Family Issues: Parent From the Marriage
Posted on 11/15/2011
How to 'parent from the marriage' Q: Several years ago, I married a widower who never disciplined his children. They are now 9, 14 and 16 and he still has a very difficult time denying them...
Read MoreStepfamily or Just "Family"
Posted on 6/20/2011
A journalist called me the other day wanting me to make some pithy, erudite comments on the subject of the so-called "stepfamily." I am eminently qualified, I propose, to remark on the subject...
Read MoreStep-Family Recommendations
Posted on 6/7/2011
A stepfamily by any other name is a family A journalist called me the other day wanting me to comment on the subject of the "stepfamily." I was raised in one, although it was not called a...
Read MoreSon From a Previous Marriage
Posted on 10/26/2010
Who should tell son of half-brother? Q: My ex-husband and I aren't friendly. Ours was his second marriage. His first marriage produced a child, but when he and his first wife divorced, he...
Read MoreRecent Questions
Teen leaders in the home means chaos
Posted on 2/1/2022
"My Perspective" I'm a stepfather to 2 girls ages 15 & 12. Also, I have a 13 year old daughter of my own. We have all lived together for 4 years. Before combining families I had fears of being...
Read MoreParent Apologies: Choosing Relationship Over Being Right with Adult Child
Posted on 1/19/2022
This question builds off of a prior one answered by Gretchen Slover. Last summer, my 18-year-old daughter lost about 15-20 pounds. She was at about 130 at her peak and in good shape. My ex-wife...
Read MoreControlling behavior from an 8 year old.
Posted on 10/16/2021
Hello, a big thank you for your constant help. I have a new question about my 8 year old step son (whom we have with us about 1-2 days a week). He wants us to repeat everything that is being...
Read MoreDo What You Can Do
Posted on 7/30/2021
My stepsons are 12 and 14. We also have a 4 and 2 year old. Their mother has been generally uncooperative and at times hostile to us, and treats the boys very differently. She doesn’t seem to like...
Read MoreGrandson Needs to be Held More Accountable
Posted on 1/15/2021
I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...
Read MorePanic and run
Posted on 12/22/2020
My 7 year old step son developed a fear of his younger siblings approaching him. After his appointment (he went with his mom at) about his chapped lips that have been bothering him for a while now...
Read MoreCo-Parenting precautions continued
Posted on 3/29/2020
My 7 year old son has picked up on some terrible slang while with his father. Everything is “banging mate” as one example. It sounds horrendous. How do I stop this?
Read MoreDecisions fueled by guilt - not good.
Posted on 1/16/2020
Hi, I have written before regarding my stepson. He is 24 years old, has a college degree and lives at home with his mother. He has been diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, a chronic condition...
Read MoreConsult with your spouse first.
Posted on 9/5/2019
Hi, I am having trouble dealing with my step daughter that is 15. My husband and I have 5 children together. He has two and I have three. My husbands daughter has severe anger and behavioral...
Read MoreJesus Loves the Little Children Through Grandparents
Posted on 4/14/2019
I am a step grandparent. We have a three year old grandson who is being raised in a progressive, liberal, agnostic environment. The household is run by the toddler and to say it is matriarch ruled...
Read MoreTopics Covered
- ADHD and other disorders
- Adoption/Foster Parent
- Aggression
- Allowances
- Alpha Speech
- Anxieties, Fears
- Arguments with Children
- Audio Files
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- Bullies/Bullying
- Character/Values (teaching)
- Chores/Responsibilities
- College
- Consequences/Punishment
- Daycare/Preschool
- Depression/Self-Harm
- Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking)
- Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)
- Disobedience/Defiance
- Divorce/Custody
- Drugs (marijuana, cocaine, etc.)
- Education
- Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones)
- Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies
- Father
- Food/Eating Problems
- Gender
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- High School
- Homeschooling
- Homework
- John's Discipline Methods
- Learning Disabilities
- Lying
- Manners
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- Miscellaneous Editorial Columns
- Mothers
- Only Children
- Pacifiers/Security Blankets/Thumbsucking
- Parent Leadership and Authority
- Play
- Preschool
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- Rewards
- School Issues
- Self-Esteem
- Shyness
- Sibling Conflict
- Single Parents
- Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)
- Socialization/Social Skills
- Spanking
- Step-Families
- Tantrums
- Teenage Issues
- Terrible Twos
- Toilet Training
