"There are no argumentative children; only adults who argue with children."

Arguments with Children

John's Most Recent Articles

It Takes Two

Posted on 7/14/2017

The storm gathered upstairs while I sat reading the paper. It began as a rumbling confusion of voices, suddenly punctuated by a gruff, insistent, “GET OUTTA HERE!” Then came a piercing screech....

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Take a Time-Out Before Engaging With Argumentative Child

Posted on 11/22/2016

Q: In last week’s column, you advised parents not to argue with teenagers. That’s fine and dandy advice, John, but you failed to tell your readers how to stay out of or end these arguments. For...

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A Non-Argumentative Teen Is a Happy One

Posted on 11/15/2016

My advice to The Wall Street Journal, the only news source to which I subscribe: Stop trying to be all things to all people. Specifically, stop giving parenting advice. The latest attempt by...

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An Example in Parenting Minimalism

Posted on 11/4/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son argues with me about everything I tell him to do. He comes up with reason after reason why he shouldn’t have to or can’t, why it’s unfair, or why, at the least, I...

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Simple Solutions

Posted on 7/29/2014

I absolutely love it when people begin to realize that the problems they’re having with a child are of their own making; when they begin to realize, in other words, that the child is not the...

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Good Parenting Decisions

Posted on 5/20/2014

Q: For the first five years of her life, it was just me and my now 13-year-old daughter. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. I wasn’t consistent; I didn’t hold her accountable; I was an...

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"The Doctor" Makes House Calls

Posted on 4/28/2014

Shortly after I finished graduate school, a friend of mine shared with me a book called Indirect Hypnosis, written by Milton Erickson, a most unorthodox psychiatrist if ever there was one....

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Be the Parent Your Child Needs

Posted on 4/1/2014

Q: My 14-year-old daughter says I don't trust her because unlike her best friend's parents, I won't allow her to stay home alone for several days while I go out of town. Her friend's parents do...

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"Boy" Behavior

Posted on 3/11/2014

Q: My 6-year-old son is a bright and friendly kindergartner. Each day a color coded chart is sent home about his behavior. This year he's gone through several spells during which he will have a...

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Interpersonal Snot Wiping Behavior

Posted on 2/25/2014

Q: We are having a problem with our 32-month-old son. He picks his nose-most often in a public setting-and then proceeds to wipe it on other family members. It's disgusting. We have tried ignoring...

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Recent Questions

Out of Control 7yr old

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi, my husband and I would appreciate some advice on our situation with our 7 year old daughter. Her medication has become ineffective recently and we are at our wits end with what to do with...

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The High School Experiment

Posted 3 weeks ago

I feel like I ask the same questions all the time. My 12th grader is stressing me out, he is barely making his grades in school coming in at B, C, D's and E's. He's a good kid but I suspect...

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Strive

Posted on 9/26/2018

My step-daughter 14 has been telling her mom and dad on and off for years that she does not feel part of our household and wants to stay at her mom's house. This conversation usually starts up...

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Getting a 4 and 6 yr old help get ready for school bus

Posted on 9/24/2018

This year my 4 year old has joined my 6 year old in the morning school routine, as she is in 4K and the other in 1st grade. They take the bus to school together and they have a list of things to...

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4 YO Boy Says He is a Girl

Posted on 8/29/2018

Our 4 year old son has recently been saying he is a girl. This began shortly after watching several episodes of Dora the Explorer. All of his siblings are older and don’t live at home. He is...

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taking back authority over 7yo

Posted on 8/12/2018

I recently discovered Mr. Rosemond's books. My husband and I are now implementing his ideas with our 7 year old son who gets easily frustrated when he doesn't get his way, ignores our demands,...

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Preschooler with an Attitude

Posted on 8/8/2018

Our 4, almost 5 year old has developed a very strong attitude problem lately. Everything that my husband or I tell her turns into her talking back. We have always told her “because I said so,” but...

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Stay in Bed!

Posted on 7/30/2018

We are having issues getting our almost 3 year old to go to sleep and stay in his room at nap time and bedtime. He recently transitioned out of a crib b/c he could climb out and now he comes out...

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Reining in Mouthy Eleven Year Old

Posted on 7/9/2018

Hello, John and coaches, I really need help with my eleven year old. She just is so mentally exhausting to me and my husband. She is extremely strong willed and argues everything with me. I am...

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Teen Awakening

Posted on 6/19/2018

Hi--I am hoping John will answer this question--I reread Teen Proofing, and you talk about kids experimenting/using drugs can be a great opportunity for you and for them--for them to make mistakes...

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Videos

Tell

Posted on 5/16/2014

Tell: do you "Tell" your kids or do you ask, negotiate, beg, and scream.

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