Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Don't Enable Entitled Teen

Posted on 4/19/2022

A recent online article concerned a mom who refused to pay her teenage daughter for doing household chores. A poll of readers found that an overwhelming majority of them agreed with the...

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In Defense of ‘Because I Said So'

Posted on 2/1/2022

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...

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Should Son Switch Schools?

Posted on 10/5/2021

Q: Our 13-year-old eighth-grader says he doesn’t like the small private school he attends and wants us to put him in public high school next year. His grades are fine, he’s got several close...

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The Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents

Posted on 7/13/2021

When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...

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Four Steps To Give Argumentative Teenager the Last Word (and Restore Sanity)

Posted on 6/8/2021

Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is slowly driving me insane! She argues with me about everything and always wants the last word. No matter how well I explain the “why?” of a decision to her, she...

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Micromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts

Posted on 2/23/2021

A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...

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Beware of 'The Protocol'

Posted on 12/29/2020

Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...

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Leverage an End To Daughter's Defiance

Posted on 12/14/2020

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter desperately wants to begin wearing makeup, which all, and I mean all, of her classmates are allowed to do. We have held off not only because of our beliefs but also...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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The Realities of Smartphones and Teenagers

Posted on 9/20/2020

A mother in California seeks her pastor’s opinion on allowing her fifteen-year-old son to have a smartphone. The boy claims that if he can’t use social media, he will have no friends. Mom is...

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Recent Questions

The first to cave foreits a win

Posted 2 days ago

Our 15-year-old son stays out of trouble & is a good kid. The main issue is school. C student who lacks study skills, time mgmt, organizational skills, & seems fairly unmotivated. We have tried...

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Ditch the "Smart" Phones

Posted 5 days ago

Hello, After coming in contact with your blog, I (dad) am trying to be more macro manager and not micro with my two girls, ages 13 and 11. They have iPhones. Should I be setting a screen time...

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Call me they.

Posted on 9/3/2022

Two of my daughters, one jr. high the other a freshman declared they want to be addressed as they. This has taken me by surprise as I am close to my children. We monitor what they watch or read...

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The Compass Points South: A 15-Year-Old’s Craving for Independence

Posted on 8/29/2022

I have a 15 year old daughter that I used to call my "compass" as she was such an easy child to raise. But, the last 2 years have been difficult. Now, I haven't spoken to her for 3 days because I...

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Step-parent woes

Posted on 8/17/2022

Hi, I'm a step-dad to two girls 16 and 13. I have a daughter of my own 14. I'm having a difficult time with Perspective regarding raising teenagers as I have no clue. I like people to do...

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YOUNG TEEN SEXUAL MISCONDUCT

Posted on 6/28/2022

We have a large and close-knit extended family with 27 cousins newborn to 16-years-old. A few months ago, at a family gathering there was a surprising incident of sexual misconduct involving a...

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Imposing consequences v. accepting consequences.

Posted on 6/27/2022

What to do when our teenagers won't accept consequences? Our daughters ages 15 and 13 won't accept consequences. They've been gone without telling us where and then coming home after curfew. So...

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TEEN BOY WANTS TO INHERIT EVERYTHING!

Posted on 6/12/2022

My sister (my son’s aunt) has unfortunately died in a car accident three days ago. When I told my son the news, he burst out laughing, saying that he will now get all of his grandparents...

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TEEN BOY RUNS OFF WITH ALL THE FOOD!

Posted on 6/12/2022

My fourteen-year-old son has run away from home. I have four children. Since my son had broken a house rule, we kept him from coming on a family trip. He has run away and since we came back six...

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TEEN BOY BELIEVES HE IS A DEMIGOD

Posted on 6/7/2022

My teenage son has recently gotten carried away. He claims to have created an "empire" that encompasses our house and a local park. Yesterday, he came into his school with a knife and forcibly...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

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