Young Teen/Junior High (13-15 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Solution to Teens Leaving Clothes on Floor

Posted on 1/3/2023

Q: Getting my daughters, fifteen and thirteen, to pick up their clothes from the floors of their rooms requires constant nagging from me. I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me out with...

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Connect Son With Person You Both Trust

Posted on 12/20/2022

Q: Our fifteen-year-old son has pronounced mental health issues. He deals with multiple anxieties, depression, and is painfully shy. You seem to believe that psychological therapy is of...

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School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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Don't Enable Entitled Teen

Posted on 4/19/2022

A recent online article concerned a mom who refused to pay her teenage daughter for doing household chores. A poll of readers found that an overwhelming majority of them agreed with the...

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In Defense of ‘Because I Said So'

Posted on 2/1/2022

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...

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Should Son Switch Schools?

Posted on 10/5/2021

Q: Our 13-year-old eighth-grader says he doesn’t like the small private school he attends and wants us to put him in public high school next year. His grades are fine, he’s got several close...

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The Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents

Posted on 7/13/2021

When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...

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Four Steps To Give Argumentative Teenager the Last Word (and Restore Sanity)

Posted on 6/8/2021

Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is slowly driving me insane! She argues with me about everything and always wants the last word. No matter how well I explain the “why?” of a decision to her, she...

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Micromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts

Posted on 2/23/2021

A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...

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Beware of 'The Protocol'

Posted on 12/29/2020

Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...

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Recent Questions

KIDS RUINING SPRING BREAK VACATION

Posted 2 weeks ago

We are on Spring Break and our kids have not been listening/obeying. Thus, we took away dinners out and got a babysitter and also removed their privilege of playing tennis because that was where...

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THE VIDEO SERIES AND TEENS

Posted 4 weeks ago

Is it too late to start these 7 principles on teenagers?

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Problems too general to address

Posted on 1/21/2023

My young daughter was a G9 student. She was great when in elementary school. But developing some issues in middle school. Now in high school, she tends to isolate herself, not talking to any of...

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14-YEAR-OLD WITH EATING DISORDER

Posted on 1/17/2023

Dear John, We have a daughter, 14, who has developed bulimia. She has always tended toward sweets. I prepared healthy, homemade food and always told my kids my mom's rule: you have to try...

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BOOKS ON PUBERTY AND REPRODUCTION

Posted on 1/14/2023

Have you any recommendations for books about puberty and reproduction that do not have underlying political or religious agendas? I am struggling to find just the right fit for my 10-year-old. One...

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Be the Adult in the Room

Posted on 12/20/2022

Here goes the scenario, most of the time this happens while eating dinner, where one of my step kids will correct my "wording" or how I "phrased some words" I used in a sentence. I work all day...

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Let's talk about sex

Posted on 11/9/2022

My 14 yr old daughter has been talking/FaceTiming with a 14 yr old boy from school and it has been sweet and innocent until this last week. They have been asking each other questions about sex. To...

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THE PUNISHMENT FITS THE CRIME.

Posted on 10/19/2022

I am a principal at a Christian School. I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime" and do not generally issue standard consequences. I recently had a student to speak ill of another...

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"Milquetoastness": the Bane of a Father; plus, a 15-Year Old's Enslavement

Posted on 10/12/2022

15 y.o. son is in a split living situation- one week with Mom, one week with Me. I am trying to figure out what to do with him and technology. Video gaming has become an addiction. I am okay with...

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14 YEAR OLD USING FOOD AS A TOOL OF CONTROL

Posted on 10/5/2022

14 yr old son - food a power struggle Started out legit - rare dysautonomic condition (genetic) that makes a lot of food problematic. Also issues with low blood sugar. Picky eater out of...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen

Posted 2 weeks ago

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA, and is based...

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