"The ultimate goal of raising children is to help them out of our lives and into successful lives of their own. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Do Classroom Reward Systems Undermine Parental Authority?

Posted on 5/18/2017

<b>Q. My daughter's kindergarten teacher is using a reward system to manage classroom behavior. Children earn smiley faces for good behavior and can trade them in for prizes at the end of the...

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When Good Kids Go Bad

Posted on 2/7/2017

I'll never forget the morning of July 5 several years ago. A police car was parked outside my neighbor's house, and the crackling radio sounds pierced the quiet air. Someone, my neighbor said, had...

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Be Consistent in Attitude and Unpredictable With Consequences

Posted on 11/8/2016

One of the disadvantages of this job is that I rarely have enough space in which to say all that I’d like to say. Take last week’s column in which I said “Consequences should be employed whether...

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Recent Questions

Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted 1 week ago

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

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Distractible Kids - Frustrated Mom

Posted 3 weeks ago

Dear Rosemond and team, Im still having a tough time with the kids. I'll just write 2 questions in one - My almost 5 year old finally earned his 30 stickers (from no tantrums + aggression)..now...

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How Coaching Works

Posted 4 weeks ago

Thank you for the response and I’m so sorry for your loss. Can you clarify how the private parenting coaches work and how much it is and for what amount of time? I’ve been reading The Well Behaved...

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Strike a Balance

Posted 4 weeks ago

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

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Sneaky Pooper

Posted on 3/21/2019

I submitted a question a short time ago and received an answer, but my daughter's behavior has escalated. The current problem is this: She has taken to pooping in her room and hiding it behind...

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Battle Weary

Posted on 3/21/2019

I have 18 month old twins, a boy and a girl. They haven't yet developed verbal skills; they don't recognize "no", or even their own names. I've been told that this is common among twins at this...

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'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted on 3/12/2019

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

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Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted on 3/12/2019

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

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Prevailing not Travailing

Posted on 3/9/2019

My 14 year old daughter was mad at me about a consequence I gave her after clearly telling her what the expectations were. She knew what the rules were and broke them so I gave her the...

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Meaningful or Logical?

Posted on 3/1/2019

Having a hard time with my 3.5 year old boy and what would be a logical consequence - every morning and after nap time he struggles with getting out of bed reasonably. He usually wails and...

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