"Parents cannot effectively communicate their love to a child unless they are also a source of effective authority. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Recent Questions

Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted 2 days ago

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

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Nip Physical Aggression in the Bud

Posted 1 week ago

We have been doing the ticket system with our four-year-old for the last four days. He has one targeting behavior, “refusing to listen,” and five tickets. Every day since we started, he has lost...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted 1 week ago

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted 1 week ago

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Focus More on the Behavior than the Diagnosis

Posted 1 week ago

I have a 10 year old son who was once diagnosed as autistic. A few years later we had him tested again in which the doctor couldn't understand why he was labeled that way and said he was not...

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Prevarications, Pranks and Privileges

Posted 2 weeks ago

My 5 year old child seems to be developing a habit for lying. Last night, he stayed with a friend and her two kids while I attended a meeting. On our way home, he told me this..."Zachary did...

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Harsh Consequences?

Posted 3 weeks ago

I have been using the ticket system with my 5-year-old for about a week now. When he loses his tickets he’s sent to his room for the remainder of the day. However, my son seems to be dealing with...

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Train Him Up

Posted 3 weeks ago

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

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The Taming of the Crew

Posted 3 weeks ago

I need help understanding the difference between sibling rivalry and sibling abuse. I know I'm supposed to punish both children equally when they fight, but what about in a situation where the...

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Tickets for 3 year olds?

Posted on 10/17/2019

We started the ticket system with our three and 5 year old boys about two months ago. I feel like our 3 year old may be too young for it. The afternoons are particularly rough because he has...

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