"Children learn whatever you teach them, whether you've intended for them to learn it or not. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted 3 days ago

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Do Classroom Reward Systems Undermine Parental Authority?

Posted on 5/18/2017

<b>Q. My daughter's kindergarten teacher is using a reward system to manage classroom behavior. Children earn smiley faces for good behavior and can trade them in for prizes at the end of the...

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Recent Questions

8 yro needs to learn to give some R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted 1 week ago

I have 3 sons: 4,6,8. My oldest has been a challenge for us. He does well academically. There are some requests at school to have him listen or think through questions before asking. But these...

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16 YO Boy Loses Job, Lies, & Vapes

Posted 1 week ago

Our 16 you son was fired from his first job today at a pet grooming shop. We know the owner as we've been taking our pets there for over 9 years. The owner called us to explain that our son had...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted 1 week ago

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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Soon to be 4 yro needs to know who's in control

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello, what is a good discipline measure to use on my 3 year old son who is soon to be 4 years old? Time out does not seem to work anymore. He yells at us, slaps the walls, and outright tells us...

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No Gun Play at School!

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 6-year-old keeps pretending he has a gun at school. We just got a second note from the school that our son was pretending to play with a gun (made out of paper) at school and scaring other...

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Take them apart from each other!

Posted 4 weeks ago

How do suggest handling the consequence of being sent to one’s room for whatever period of time when siblings share a room. Our 5 and 7 year old boys share a room and most often when there is...

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4 and 5 year old brothers tag team Mom

Posted on 6/12/2019

My older boy, age 5 has been on the ticket system for about 9 months. He starts the day with 3 tickets and his misbehaviors are screaming at us and not obeying us. My younger boy, 4 has recently...

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Discipline is not Always Convenient

Posted on 6/6/2019

When our son hits, we send him to his room for the entire day. However, his hitting tends to happen towards dinner/bedtime so we sentence him to his room the next day. Inevitably, it falls on a...

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He has got one ticket to ride!

Posted on 6/6/2019

What do we do when our son loses a ticket (currently our ticket system is for disrespectful behavior - specifically for talking back, name calling and/or mocking) and on his way to timeout he does...

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Dealing with One-Year-Old's Challenging Behavior

Posted on 6/6/2019

Hi I have a 12 month old, and have recently finished Making the Terrible two's terrific. He seems to be staring tantrums when he has items taken from him, eg the car keys because I have to use...

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