"If you think childrearing is difficult, it will be. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Moodiness Is Merely a Bad Emotional Habit

Posted on 10/27/2020

Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...

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Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Recent Questions

Meltdowns, Scratches, and Wrestling Matches: Dealing With the Brothers 3

Posted 1 week ago

Over the past year, we have spent more time together as a family at home. While some of this has been good, we have also seen conflict between our oldest boys, ages 4 and 6, increase. Sometimes...

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Teen Boy Not So Sneaky

Posted 1 week ago

My teenage son keeps sneaking food and disobeying. He isn't allowed to eat in his room, yet he sneaks food in there fairly often. We just found a jar of brown sugar with a spoon in it. He has...

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Knowing When and How to Use Time-Out With Toddler

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello, I just asked a question the other day about toddler hitting, pushing, etc. When he does this, he is not having a tantrum. He is actually laughing. I was suggested to implement a time...

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Too Soon for Discipline?

Posted 2 weeks ago

Is it too early to discipline a 13 month old? My son is hitting & screaming A LOT and I swat his little hands when he hits and it does not phase him... Little swats on his bum do not phase him...

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Logic and a 4 Year Old Don't Go Together!

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 4 year old daughter is scared and I'm wondering if it's something we should be concerned about. She goes to bed fine (sleeps with the covers over her head because of her fears) but she ends up...

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Flush it away

Posted on 1/27/2021

My 6 year old has been putting small poops down the bathroom sink drain and bathtub. This has just started as far as we know and usually occurs during his nighttime shower time which he does...

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Toddler Fun

Posted on 1/26/2021

Advice for dealing with 16 month old toddler boy who is beginning to have tantrums and throw himself down when he doesn’t get his way. It it too early for a time out chair?

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It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

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Squirrel! - Follow up

Posted on 1/22/2021

Re: Squirrel Thank you for your helpful response to my earlier question about my easily distractible 6 year old. All good reminders. We have done all these things (admittedly probably not as...

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Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

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