"Good parents take very, very good care of their marriage, lest their marriage become a mirage. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Recent Questions

Grandparent Etiquette

Posted 3 days ago

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

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Behavior getting worse not better

Posted 3 days ago

I just started reading the well behaved child. I have a 6 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. Their behavior has gotten worse. My daughter comes out of her room constantly after having been...

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Enforcing Consquences

Posted 3 days ago

I have read Well Behaved Child. We are dealing with our 7 year old granddaughter (we have legal custody since July) that has high misbehaviors. We are doing the chart. Our one concern is keeping...

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"Doctor" Makes House Call for 5 YO Preschooler

Posted 1 week ago

My 5 year old girl is strong willed, defiant and disobedient. She throws frequent tantrums when not getting her way. At school she is fine but anywhere else she acts out (screams, rages, scowls,...

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Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted 1 week ago

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

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3 y/o Drama Queen

Posted 1 week ago

Every time we have to say goodbye to my 3 year old's friend, she cries like it's the end of the world and has a fit... We go on nightly walks with them and I have stopped because I do not want to...

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When Food Issues Become Power Struggles

Posted 1 week ago

I asked a question about my 8 year old sneaking sweets - we have since carried out your suggestions - but it is not working. She looks for other ways to get sweets. We allowed her to buy some cup...

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I don't want my kids to be rude!

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi. I have 5 yo twin boys. They are not shy but when we are out and an adult asks them a question they usually do not respond. Its generally a pretty simple question like "How old are you now?" or...

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Wrestle Mania

Posted 2 weeks ago

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

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Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted 2 weeks ago

My husband and I recently legally adopted our six and half year old nephew who has been living with us since he was 2.5. He did not know us prior to him coming to live with us. He comes from a...

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