Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Solve Behavioral Issues With Good Leadership

Posted on 4/4/2023

The question parents most frequently ask begins “What should I do when my child…?” and closes with a description of a vexing behavior, as in, “What should I do when my child bites the family...

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School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

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‘Parenting’ vs Childrearing

Posted on 1/25/2022

I often go looking for parenting ideas that illustrate the difference between so-called “parenting” and mere childrearing. They abound. My latest find came in the form of a 2018 article on...

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How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

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Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted on 5/18/2021

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

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Moodiness Is Merely a Bad Emotional Habit

Posted on 10/27/2020

Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...

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Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Recent Questions

4YO's Behavior Wreaking Havoc

Posted 1 week ago

Our 4yr old son went from a local daycare where the children were allowed to run wild and is now in a private Montessori school. He will not respond to redirection, ignores instructions & lashes...

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Time to Put a Stop to 9 YO Whiner

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello, my 9 year old son tends to whine a lot. Asking him to grab something for me has him stomping, fussing and dragging his feet. When asking him to come review his schoolwork or play a game...

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SOCIOPATHIC BEHAVIOR IN TEEN GIRL?

Posted 3 weeks ago

I need advise about a situation I am dealing with with my almost 15 yo stepdaughter. She has been exhibiting very bad behavior over the last 1-2 years including lying, stealing, sneaking out,...

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Teaching Respect

Posted 4 weeks ago

My child lost all her tickets yesterday and then spent the remainder of the day in her room. I removed all the toys but I did leave several books. Today I found out that she had ripped the front...

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10 & 12 year old brothers, "highly sensitive" and "strong willed"

Posted 4 weeks ago

I am on board with all the traditional discipline "like grandma did it." We have 5 children ranging in age now 24 down to 10. The 10-year-old son has all the signs of being what I understand to be...

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14 yro in full blow rebellion

Posted on 7/27/2024

Our 14 yr daughter is completely out of control. We started seeing warning signs a couple years ago. She's been grounded in some form or fashion for at least 6 months of each of the last 2 years....

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Troublemaking Siblings

Posted on 7/12/2024

Our two youngest children, when together, are troublemakers. They are 6 and 7, but when they are together they revert to large babies—don’t do their chores, lay around, giggle, tickling,...

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No fair rules and personal responsibility

Posted on 7/5/2024

My 10-year-old daughter is insolent and disobedient at home, especially towards my husband, her stepfather for the past year ("you're not my father"). She doesn't like the new rules that have been...

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What mom says GOES!

Posted on 6/26/2024

Hello, I have a son who is 2.5 and my daughter who is 17 months. My son was a great listener when we were out and he was not in a stroller. If we say no or stop he would listen or come back to...

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It's Always Something

Posted on 6/21/2024

Good day. My son (7.5) has come a long way on many behavioral issues. One infuriating thing we are still having trouble with is his tendency to break things. I get the impulse to "test"...

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Audio

Parenting Through Proper Discipline

Posted on 6/15/2023

Firm, consistent discipline is foundational to proper parenting, but it can be one of the hardest challenges parents will face. In this session, you'll learn about: • The Rules of...

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Video

How to Use Consequences Effectively (Webinar Recording)

Posted on 5/17/2023

Parents have problems with discipline than with any other single child rearing issue. For many parents, these problems begin during toddlerhood with tantrums, toilet training resistance, and...

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