"As children grow older, parents must give them greater freedom, including greater freedom to make mistakes. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Recent Questions

Toddler hits mommy

Posted 2 days ago

Hi. My 27 month old toddler recently started hitting me when I say no to her, sometimes my husband as well, but it is most often directed at me (her mother) in moments of frustration. How should I...

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Gone From The Garden.....Now What?

Posted 1 week ago

I have a clarification question. When a child had been kicked out of the garden, are they supposed to also stay in said room when not at school? And if so should we leave something in their room...

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Little Victories

Posted 1 week ago

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

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Toddler ignores grandma.

Posted 1 week ago

Lately my 2 year old has moments where he is very rude to my mom (his grandma) who helps with childcare. He blatantly ignores her or tells her no or that he doesn't want to do x, y or z. My...

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6 Year Old Laughs When She Gets In Trouble

Posted 1 week ago

Good Morning, We have been using the ticket system and it's worked well. I have a 6 year old girl, who seems to have thrived from it until recently. Now when she loses a ticket she says "i...

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Ticket to change.

Posted 1 week ago

My 7-year old son has this habit of expressing his frustration, questioning me, or complaining about what I've told him to do or said, “no” to. He asks, “Why not?” and I answer simply, “Because...

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Time for a Reset

Posted 1 week ago

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted 1 week ago

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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Alpha Speech is Key to Parental Leadership

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hello. Our daughter just turned 5. She has started to argue, history, say she didn’t hear, that she forgot and any number of excuses when she has disobeyed us. If we ask her to go put her toy...

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