"Good parents take very, very good care of their marriage, lest their marriage become a mirage. "

Consequences/Punishment

John's Most Recent Articles

Alpha Speech: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

Posted on 8/6/2019

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Put a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers

Posted on 7/19/2017

Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...

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Parenting Magazine's Time-Out Technique 'Even Worse Than Before'

Posted on 6/27/2017

For several reasons, I am not a fan of parenting magazines. First, they reinforce the impression that child-rearing is a very complicated affair, requiring consulting with “experts” on a regular...

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America Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution

Posted on 6/21/2017

I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...

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Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

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Recent Questions

What to Do About Screen Addiction?

Posted 1 week ago

My 11-year-old son is obsessed with screens. If we tell him to do something while he is on his phone or iPad he huffs and puffs or we are told, “in a minute." Then he only gets 2 out of 3 chores...

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dad on very different page

Posted 1 week ago

Do you have any advice for a parent who is the primary disciplinarian in a 2-parent household? For example, after my daughter receives punishment from me for a misbehavior, her dad will often...

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What to do when Mom is human and makes a mistake.

Posted 2 weeks ago

What is the best way to recover after making a mistake? For instance, if 3 children are very close in age, and you punish the wrong child for something you later find out their sibling had done.

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Self-Destructing Son

Posted 2 weeks ago

I am so thankful for this site and your support. I feel empowered and encouraged. It seems very recently that whenever my son is asked to do a chore, he injures himself. These are simple age...

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Help! Quarantine Has Thrown a Kink in Our Schedule!

Posted 2 weeks ago

My husband has been working from home for the last few months and this has brought new challenges with our 5 and 6 year old boys. Prior to him working from home I had a routine of them playing in...

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Son hits himself when he loses TV privileges

Posted 3 weeks ago

When my son loses his tv privileges he starts hitting himself, screaming, saying he’s stupid, he hates himself etc and beginning he will do anything to earn tv back (I say no). There clearly is an...

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Toddler Tests the Car Seat Limits

Posted 4 weeks ago

My 18 month old always gets a short time out when he hits or throws food. Consequently, he almost never hits or throws food any more. However, since we have been going out more, he is now testing...

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No More Naps? Call the Doctor!

Posted 1 month ago

I’ve written about our middle son previously. He turned 4 a few weeks ago. He no longer naps but seems really tired during the day. He whines, seems clumsy (which I believe to be related to being...

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6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

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How to Achieve Peaceful Coexistence Between Children

Posted on 5/31/2020

I have a 6-year-old, and 2.5 year old. They are fighting A LOT. What’s the best way to discipline them? I try to let them work it out as much as I can, but it’s constant. Older child ripping toys...

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