"Children need parents who know where they stand as well as where they want their children to stand. "

Teenage Issues

John's Most Recent Articles

Teen Not a Suicide Risk

Posted on 7/23/2019

My recent column pertaining to a 12-year-old who told his parents he’d thought about suicide several times over the past six months stirred a fair number of folks to respond. Feelings toward the...

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How to Talk to Teens About Internet Pornography

Posted on 7/16/2019

Q: We recently discovered that our 12-year-old has been visiting pornography sites of all sorts on the Internet. When we caught him red-handed, he began crying and said he is addicted. Apparently,...

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Simple Solutions for Teens, Tantrums and Smartphones

Posted on 12/4/2018

Q: Our 15-year-old daughter is very demanding and, to be honest, self-centered. One of the things she does is ask one of us for something and demand an instant decision, as in, “Can I go to the...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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15-Year-Old Daughter Should Not Get Private Time With 20-Year-Old Boyfriend

Posted on 6/13/2018

Q: Our 15-year-old daughter has told us she’s in love with a 20-year-old guy who is in the Army and intending to make the Army his career. We’ve met him, and he is extremely respectful and...

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Respect for Adults Is Good for Kids' Mental Health

Posted on 6/6/2018

Rates of child and teen depression and suicide continue to rise, as they have for fifty years. As regular readers of this column know, I do not agree in the least with current explanations, much...

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The Peer Group: When to Do Something, What to Do, and When to Do Nothing

Posted on 5/1/2018

No question about it, the peer group exerts great influence on teenagers. From the way they dress to the way they carry their books, the stamp of peer pressure is upon them. If the influence is...

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Car Gives Eric a Chance to Grow Up

Posted on 4/27/2018

"Dad! I've decided what kind of car I want to get when I'm 16! Look at this!" "Eric," I said, brushing away the copy of Car Trader he'd stuck in my face, "I've told you a hundred times, I'm not...

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Take Smartphone Away from Sassy Teen

Posted on 2/21/2018

Q: When our daughter, an only child, turned thirteen and entered the 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped. Almost overnight, she went from being a sweet, respectful and obedient child who...

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Strike While the Iron Is Cold

Posted on 11/17/2017

Recently, a mother asked how she and her husband could make their 16-year-old son stop talking disrespectfully to them. So far, she said, they'd complained, threatened and occasionally taken his...

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Recent Questions

Tween Not Playing By the Rules

Posted on 8/10/2020

I have sent in a request for a coach, as you can see I have been having a difficult time with my 13 year old. I just experienced a tantrum again, it’s nightly for about a week now, how he is still...

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What to Do About Screen Addiction?

Posted on 7/5/2020

My 11-year-old son is obsessed with screens. If we tell him to do something while he is on his phone or iPad he huffs and puffs or we are told, “in a minute." Then he only gets 2 out of 3 chores...

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Insistence Will Lead To Resistance From Teenage Boy

Posted on 6/27/2020

I am a single mom with only one child, my 15yo son. He has recently started saying that he "isn't hungry" at dinnertime, or will "eat later", and says he doesn't want to eat with me. He often does...

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Teen in charge spells disaster.

Posted on 6/2/2020

15yr old daughter is only happy if everything is going her way. If something doesn’t suit her she ignores the family at dinner and on picnics And other family outings. But when her friend comes...

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Parenting Material is for Parents, Not Kids.

Posted on 6/1/2020

Is it ok to go through your material with our 12 year old son listening? It seems like he would understand better this way?

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Disrespectful Tween

Posted on 5/22/2020

My 11 year old daughter gets upset when I correct her and calls me names in her heart not aloud; but she later tells me those rude things and apologises. (The most recent name she called me...

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Dads Are Never Done

Posted on 4/12/2020

I'm currently going through a divorce. Parenting has gotten increasingly harder for obvious reasons, and I'm the only disciplinarian. I'm concerned my kids - or some of them - are too old for me...

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The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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Ok To Believe In Your Son and Still Not Believe Him

Posted on 2/6/2020

My teenager has been caught with marijuana. He said he was done with it and a few days later, we found more. I have read Johns book on raising teens and remember that he said their is a time to...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

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