"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

School Age (6-10 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

The Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents

Posted 3 weeks ago

When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...

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Micromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts

Posted on 2/23/2021

A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...

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Beware of 'The Protocol'

Posted on 12/29/2020

Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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Helping a Child Worried About Death

Posted on 8/18/2020

Q: We have a five-year-old who obsesses about dying. This has been going on for six months, ever since a child in the neighborhood died of a congenital genetic condition. Our son knew the boy and...

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Time to Shake Things up When It Comes to Your Child's Education

Posted on 8/11/2020

Q: Our nine-year-old has just learned he is not going back to school on schedule in the fall. Instead, he will be doing distance learning by computer and home instruction. We had to do this for...

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Don’t Jump Down the ADHD Rabbit Hole With 8-Year-Old

Posted on 6/23/2020

Q: Our son, age 8, has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. His IQ is well above average but his actual performance in the classroom is problematic. He has difficulty paying attention...

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Why Small Classrooms Are Overrated

Posted on 5/5/2020

No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...

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In Defense of Homeschooling

Posted on 4/28/2020

In his November 1863 address at Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the men who lost their lives on that battlefield had done so in order that “government of the people, by the people and...

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Father's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed

Posted on 1/15/2020

Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...

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Recent Questions

9 year old won’t stop crying

Posted 4 days ago

My 9 year old son cries at what seems like the drop of a hat and sometimes it's out of the blue and seems that it should be a behavior that he should have outgrown by his age. Many times it's due...

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Coping with the pain of losing a parent

Posted 2 weeks ago

My daughter recently died of brain cancer. Her husband works full time and I am with the kids (ages 8, 9, 11 and 15) most of the time. I would like to know how to help them through the grieving...

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8 year old boy missing his friends after moving

Posted 2 weeks ago

We’ve recently relocated and all my 8 year old does is complain he misses his old friends from his old school. I understand transitions are difficult and life has changed a lot but my sons quality...

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8-Year-Old Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Posted 2 weeks ago

Sometimes my 8 year old is lovely and I feel so proud of him. Other times like today, I am speechless, humiliated, overwhelmed and defeated. I picked my son up from boys brigades and he was...

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Helping Child Deal With Frustration

Posted 4 weeks ago

I am writing because I do not know how to handle an issue with my 9 year old son. He is a very good student in school, has never been in trouble and all of his teachers sing his praises. He is...

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A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

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To Ballet, Or Not to Ballet?

Posted on 6/24/2021

I'm a homeschooling mom of two (ages almost 10 and 11). My daughters are involved in a Christian ballet school as an extra curricular activity. They have been going to ballet for about three...

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Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

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Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

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God Bless parents who adopt.

Posted on 6/20/2021

We have a soon to be 12 year old daughter who we adopted at 6 years old. She was abandoned by her mother at a year and a half and was with one foster family before us. She has always been...

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