John's Discipline Methods

John's Most Recent Articles

School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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No New Tricks To Raising Kids

Posted on 11/30/2021

What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...

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The Drama of a Child's Feelings

Posted on 4/20/2021

One of the more unfortunate consequences of relying on advice from mental health “experts” concerning parenting matters has been a one-dimensional understanding of child discipline. Because of the...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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Where We All Went Wrong

Posted on 8/25/2020

My profession, psychology, began demonizing traditional childrearing in the late 1960s. I was in graduate school at the time and on fire for the promise that the proper use of psychological...

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What to Do About an Aggressive 3-Year-Old

Posted on 4/21/2020

Q: My three-year-old son tends to react physically when he's mad at a preschool classmate instead of talking it out and letting the teachers intervene. We have encouraged him to use words when...

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The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 2

Posted on 2/11/2020

This is the second in a series of three columns on the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!). Last week, I identified giving children explanations for parental instructions,...

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"The Doctor" Is the Tool Every Parent Needs

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have good news for parents: You do not need more than a few tools in your disciplinary tool-bag. One especially valuable tool, one that belongs in every modern home, is the “Doctor.” The Doctor...

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Replace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting

Posted on 9/24/2019

As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...

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Emancipation of Adult Children Can Be Messy

Posted on 6/4/2019

When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...

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Recent Questions

Troublemaking Siblings

Posted 5 days ago

Our two youngest children, when together, are troublemakers. They are 6 and 7, but when they are together they revert to large babies—don’t do their chores, lay around, giggle, tickling,...

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When Phases and a New Baby Coming Collide

Posted 1 week ago

Hi, we transitioned my son to a full bed because he began climbing out of his crib, and it was becoming unsafe. He has always been a great independent sleeper. However, now he requires either me...

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It's Always Something

Posted 3 weeks ago

Good day. My son (7.5) has come a long way on many behavioral issues. One infuriating thing we are still having trouble with is his tendency to break things. I get the impulse to "test"...

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Son and Mom Problem

Posted on 4/9/2024

Hi. 13-Year-old boy. Home school, avid reader, no screens, movies on weekend. Tennis player. Plays outside. I love everything Rosemond. But I have never been great at putting it into effect. My...

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Not Listening the First Time

Posted on 3/20/2024

We believe in the necessity of our children obeying the first time they are told-without challenge, delay or excuse. However, we also wish to walk the tightrope of a loving, nourishing home,...

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"Special Tantrum Place" for Tantrums

Posted on 2/28/2024

My son (21 months) is in full blown “terrible twos.” He does lots of throwing fits. When they happen he gets a swat on the bottom and has to sit in his bed until he will be sweet and say he’s...

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Child Sneaking out of Room for Snacks

Posted on 2/17/2024

When using the Doctor Method and sending your kids to bed early, what do you do when your kid is then so well rested, wakes up before everyone else, and rummages through the kitchen? My 5-year-old...

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How to use charts/tickets with 3 kids

Posted on 1/13/2024

How to decide to use chart or ticket system for 3 kids? 11 y/o and 9 y/o sons would have same misbehaviors #1 Do things 1st time asked #2 Clean up after yourself #3 Aggravating sibling (Sibling...

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Strut and Fret your Hour upon the Stage--when dealing with a 5-year old NAG

Posted on 12/3/2023

When my son (5) gets sent to his room for time out, he goes into his room and begins throwing demonic-style tantrums. He hits the door and screams at the top of his lungs. When he’s done, he comes...

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Turn to Tickets for Sibling Conflicts

Posted on 11/23/2023

I have 3 children (7, 5 & 4) who play very well together. They don't always get along well, and I'd like to do the chart system for them for the same behaviors (whining/tantrums, misusing...

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