"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

John's Discipline Methods

John's Most Recent Articles

You Can't Win 'Em All

Posted on 3/5/2019

I’ve been writing this column for forty-three years and speaking publicly for nearly as long. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that when it comes to my subject matter, you can’t win ‘em...

Read More

Today's Parents Don't Know How to Properly Convey Authority

Posted on 1/17/2018

Four sentences into her Wall Street Journal article on recent research into spanking (“Spanking for Misbehavior? It Causes More!” December 17, 2017), the author, Susan Pinker, makes two grievous...

Read More

Strike While the Iron Is Cold

Posted on 11/17/2017

Recently, a mother asked how she and her husband could make their 16-year-old son stop talking disrespectfully to them. So far, she said, they'd complained, threatened and occasionally taken his...

Read More

3 year-old Tantrums

Posted on 9/8/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Q: Our first, a girl, just turned three and has suddenly started throwing tantrums. She can begin a tantrum when she’s alone in her room if something...

Read More

Losing Tickets on the Ticket System

Posted on 12/16/2014

Q: I’ve been trying for two months with little to no success to get your “ticket” system to work on my 4-year-old daughter. The target behaviors are ignoring me when I tell her to do...

Read More

Piling On

Posted on 4/28/2014

In football, "piling on" occurs when defensive players continue to fall on top of an offensive player after he's been tackled. Because it's unnecessary as well as dangerous, piling on is...

Read More

Out of the Garden

Posted on 4/28/2014

Occasionally a behavior problem is so BIG that nothing short of what I call "nuclear discipline" will do. Your great-grandparents called it "lowering the boom." Regardless of terminology, the...

Read More

The Ticket System for Corrective Discipline

Posted on 4/28/2014

I developed "Tickets" in response to the observation that time-out only works with children who are already fairly well behaved. (Then again, just about any demonstration of parental disapproval...

Read More

Daily and Weekly Report Cards (for School Problems)

Posted on 4/28/2014

Daily and Weekly Report Cards are a variation on Daily and Weekly Charts, the difference being that they target school misbehavior and performance. Daily Report Cards are generally suitable for...

Read More

"The Doctor" Makes House Calls

Posted on 4/28/2014

Shortly after I finished graduate school, a friend of mine shared with me a book called Indirect Hypnosis, written by Milton Erickson, a most unorthodox psychiatrist if ever there was one....

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Posted 1 week ago

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with...

Read More

Strike a Balance

Posted 4 weeks ago

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

Read More

'Children Challenging Chores'

Posted on 3/12/2019

I am troubled with the completion of chores issue. I like to get stuff done then play and have attempted to teach my kids the same values or strategies but..... being kids of course they choose...

Read More

Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted on 3/12/2019

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

Read More

Lowering the Boom

Posted on 3/1/2019

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

Read More

7 year old boy needs leadership to solve the problem

Posted on 2/20/2019

We are using the Strike System with our two children. Our seven year old boy often receives all of his strikes as he is a High Misbehaver (currently) and is sent to his room. However, he will not...

Read More

Sibling Rivalry

Posted on 2/19/2019

my daughters, age 5 and 2, constantly fight. I agree siblings need to settle their own quarrels; however, my 2 year old is still physically agressive (pulling hair, hitting), and sometimes I...

Read More

Kicked out of the Garden

Posted on 2/2/2019

My 9 yo daughter was kicked out of the garden a few days ago due to disobedience. By 10:00 this morning, she had lost all of the blocks on her behavior chart and was sent to her room for the rest...

Read More

You're welcome!

Posted on 1/31/2019

Thank you so much for your very enlightening answer in my last question re: blind spots! lol. It had not occured to me that the sloppily/half-way completed chores counted as disobedience, and I...

Read More

The Defiant Young Adult

Posted on 1/31/2019

My son turns 18 tomorrow. He seems to think this means he can do whatever he wants, including not doing what I ask. He is picking his girlfriend up at the airport this evening and I told him he...

Read More
View All Questions