John's Discipline Methods

John's Most Recent Articles

No New Tricks To Raising Kids

Posted on 11/30/2021

What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...

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The Drama of a Child's Feelings

Posted on 4/20/2021

One of the more unfortunate consequences of relying on advice from mental health “experts” concerning parenting matters has been a one-dimensional understanding of child discipline. Because of the...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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Where We All Went Wrong

Posted on 8/25/2020

My profession, psychology, began demonizing traditional childrearing in the late 1960s. I was in graduate school at the time and on fire for the promise that the proper use of psychological...

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What to Do About an Aggressive 3-Year-Old

Posted on 4/21/2020

Q: My three-year-old son tends to react physically when he's mad at a preschool classmate instead of talking it out and letting the teachers intervene. We have encouraged him to use words when...

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The Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!) - Part 2

Posted on 2/11/2020

This is the second in a series of three columns on the Biggest Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Stop Making Them!). Last week, I identified giving children explanations for parental instructions,...

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"The Doctor" Is the Tool Every Parent Needs

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have good news for parents: You do not need more than a few tools in your disciplinary tool-bag. One especially valuable tool, one that belongs in every modern home, is the “Doctor.” The Doctor...

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Replace Psychological With Old Fashioned Parenting

Posted on 9/24/2019

As my regular readers know, I am a certified heretic in my field: child and family psychology. To the point, I am convinced that psychological parenting theory, which began to inform American...

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Emancipation of Adult Children Can Be Messy

Posted on 6/4/2019

When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...

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We're Living in a Child's World

Posted on 5/21/2019

Concerning major behavior problems, parents often tell me they’ve “tried everything.” In more than forty years of doing this “parenting expert” gig, I’ve never run across a parent who was telling...

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Recent Questions

Time to Reel In 5-Year-Old

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 5 year old who has come a long way with behavior but lately hasn't been great at listening when told to do something. She will almost pretend we didn't say it or will just say "I will in...

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Sometimes all you need is a hug and a dutch door.

Posted on 8/13/2022

When my 4 year old son loses all his privileges for the day, we cannot get him to stay in his room. What is something we can try? We calmly put him back in his room each time he runs out, but it...

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Get Creative

Posted on 7/24/2022

Greetings! Our usually cheerful and happy 4yo daughter does not seem to react normally to punishment. At first she gets upset and cries, but very shortly into a time out or being sent to her room...

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Ticket System questions

Posted on 6/22/2022

I have some questions regarding the ticket system for a 3.5 year old. 1. What if he loses all of his tickets at the end of the day? One time he lost his last ticket but it was right before...

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3-Year-Old in Hyper Mode

Posted on 6/22/2022

My 3.5 year old will get hyper and annoying when he is overtired or overexcited. When he’s in a “hyper mode”, he’s running around, trying to roughhouse, jumping into people, being loud and...

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Don't Dis R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 6/13/2022

Our 8 year old has grown increasingly disrespectful. He is perfect respectful to adults like teachers and parents of his friends, so it is primarily an issue at home. Often the disrespect is...

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Two Year Old Being Terrible

Posted on 6/9/2022

My 2.5 year old in the past week has been extremely irritable, refusing to eat almost anything that isn’t Mac and cheese, and has reverted back to taking 2 naps a day. Tantrums and screaming are...

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The Terrible Threes: Taking a Powder with the Doctor

Posted on 5/25/2022

Threenagers worse than the terrible twos? My 3.5 yr old daughter is very disrespectful toward myself and my husband. She's frequently whining, throwing tantrums, and during those tantrums...

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Bedtime Monsters

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 9 year old won’t go to bed at night, constantly crying about monsters etc which has never been an issue before. It seems to be one thing after the other. If he could sleep in my bed he would...

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Let 3-Year-Old Know You Mean Business!

Posted on 4/19/2022

My child is 3 and a half and has started talking back and hitting. Putting him in his room doesn't help. He comes right out. Suggestions?

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