Chores/Responsibilities

John's Most Recent Articles

Solution to Teens Leaving Clothes on Floor

Posted on 1/3/2023

Q: Getting my daughters, fifteen and thirteen, to pick up their clothes from the floors of their rooms requires constant nagging from me. I’m at my wit’s end. Please help me out with...

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Chores for 3-Year-Olds? Yes!

Posted on 5/31/2022

Q: In certain of your books as well as your newspaper column, you have written that children as young as three should be doing daily chores around the home. Exactly what chores are reasonable for...

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Don't Enable Entitled Teen

Posted on 4/19/2022

A recent online article concerned a mom who refused to pay her teenage daughter for doing household chores. A poll of readers found that an overwhelming majority of them agreed with the...

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On Chores, Discipline, Potty-Training

Posted on 3/29/2022

Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter a chore, she does it, but all the while she is muttering under her breath, huffing and puffing, and so on. Do I discipline that behavior or just let her...

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In Defense of ‘Because I Said So'

Posted on 2/1/2022

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...

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How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

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Keep It Simple With Your Kids During Quarantine

Posted on 4/14/2020

One website is titled “How to Cope with Kids During Coronavirus.” Another, featuring a staged photo of an obviously frazzled mom with a toddler on her lap, tells the reader that “Parents are...

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Let Your School-Aged Kids Dress Themselves

Posted on 1/9/2019

“So, anyway, after they take showers I lay out their school clothes for the next day. And then….” “Hold on right there,” “How old are your girls again?” “Um,...

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Car Gives Eric a Chance to Grow Up

Posted on 4/27/2018

"Dad! I've decided what kind of car I want to get when I'm 16! Look at this!" "Eric," I said, brushing away the copy of Car Trader he'd stuck in my face, "I've told you a hundred times, I'm not...

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Raising a Can-Do Kid

Posted on 3/2/2016

Can-do kids are make-do kids. They usually have several traits that distinguish them from dependent, underconfident children: <b>1. Resourcefulness</b> Today, resourcefulness may mean turning...

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Recent Questions

Mom Frustrated With 6YO Not Following Directives

Posted on 12/26/2024

Hello, I'm having issues with my 6 year old following directions and doing things the first time she's asked. I have made her a check list to help her organize her tasks which has helped. If I...

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Give Them an Inch...

Posted on 12/8/2024

We are in the process of resetting a slew of bad behaviors (sibling conflict, avoiding responsibility are currently the focus). I'm seeing an increase in defiance/disobedience, both directly and...

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4 BOYS ARE BOYS; THEREFORE, THEY ARE MESSY

Posted on 11/13/2024

I’m happy to report that the villain/victim drama has been resolved, with incidents only once a week. I hear whispers of “Please, let’s work this out so we don’t have to go sit for an hour.” I’m...

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Look Out Boss, Here Comes the Baby!

Posted on 9/6/2024

I have a 6-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. My daughter is the typical first child who is bossy, little mama and directs her brother frequently on what to do, not to do etc. She’s a...

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How to Stop Being a Micromanager

Posted on 7/23/2024

Hi! So I’ve been perusing old questions and answers in your forum, and I’m coming to the distinct impression that I, myself, am a micromanager. Therefore, my first question is, it appears from...

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Troublemaking Siblings

Posted on 7/12/2024

Our two youngest children, when together, are troublemakers. They are 6 and 7, but when they are together they revert to large babies—don’t do their chores, lay around, giggle, tickling,...

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When Phases and a New Baby Coming Collide

Posted on 7/9/2024

Hi, we transitioned my son to a full bed because he began climbing out of his crib, and it was becoming unsafe. He has always been a great independent sleeper. However, now he requires either me...

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Call the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress

Posted on 7/7/2024

Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...

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Recognizing the Value of Childhood Chores

Posted on 7/5/2024

Hi there! I am wanting to know what chores I should expect from my three daughters, 3.5yo twins and 6.5yo. They help out here and there, but Dad and I are tired of doing all the clean up and no...

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The Grass Really Isn’t Greener on the Other Side

Posted on 3/25/2024

My 10-year-old daughter seems always to think the grass is greener somewhere else. For example, we homeschool, which she enjoys, but often expresses her wish to return to regular school, and when...

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Audio

Parenting Through Proper Discipline

Posted on 6/15/2023

Firm, consistent discipline is foundational to proper parenting, but it can be one of the hardest challenges parents will face. In this session, you'll learn about: • The Rules of...

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Parenting the Strong Willed Teen

Posted on 3/16/2023

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA, and is based...

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