"Children need parents who know where they stand as well as where they want their children to stand. "

Chores/Responsibilities

John's Most Recent Articles

Let Your School-Aged Kids Dress Themselves

Posted on 1/9/2019

“So, anyway, after they take showers I lay out their school clothes for the next day. And then….” “Hold on right there,” “How old are your girls again?” “Um,...

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Car Gives Eric a Chance to Grow Up

Posted on 4/27/2018

"Dad! I've decided what kind of car I want to get when I'm 16! Look at this!" "Eric," I said, brushing away the copy of Car Trader he'd stuck in my face, "I've told you a hundred times, I'm not...

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Raising a Can-Do Kid

Posted on 3/2/2016

Can-do kids are make-do kids. They usually have several traits that distinguish them from dependent, underconfident children: <b>1. Resourcefulness</b> Today, resourcefulness may mean turning...

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Nicotine Use

Posted on 6/30/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Q: We just discovered that our 17-year-old is using nicotine. He tells us he’s been using for the past several months, smoking two to four cigarettes a...

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Make Chores a Priority

Posted on 5/5/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond A major US newspaper recently ran a piece detailing all the ways children benefit from doing chores. Well, not all the ways. They failed to mention...

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Teens Want Later Curfews

Posted on 2/3/2015

Copyright 2015 John K. Rosemond Q: My twin boys just turned 13 and are demanding—that is the right word—later curfews. They tell us that their curfew, which is 8:30 on nights when there...

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Who cleans up?

Posted on 2/4/2014

Q: I have 3 kids ages 8, 6, and 4. I need help solving the "pick up the playroom" dilemma. When an area in which they've been playing needs to be picked up and straightened, the 8-year-old always...

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Their Biology Makes Them Do It!

Posted on 10/22/2013

The "their biology makes them do it!" hypothesis concerning the oft-horrid behavior of today's teens keeps on rolling along, charming parents of said teens into the comforting belief that...

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Kicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]

Posted on 10/6/2013

Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...

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Gifted ... With Laziness

Posted on 8/20/2013

Q: Our 9-year-old son Bobby is very intelligent and capable of doing good work in school when he wants to, but he is generally just downright lazy. As a result, he makes mediocre grades and we...

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Recent Questions

Time for a Reset

Posted 1 week ago

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

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6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted 1 week ago

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

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Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted 1 week ago

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

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No Way to Treat a 7 Year Old Boy

Posted 1 week ago

My son is 7 years old and in 1st grade. He's had some problems with negative self-talk and is disruptive in class. (I think he’s a perfectionist who’s big on justice and is bored). His grades are...

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Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Young Teenage Boy Has Problem To Solve

Posted on 12/2/2019

Finally: school and studies. Being in junior high now we are trying to encourage better study habits for our son. He has always found school easy and not brought work home to review while still...

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Mom on track with chores, allowance

Posted on 11/30/2019

I keep being advised I should use reward charts/money allowances for good behavior and chores around the house (for almost 7 year old). But, something doesn't sit right with me about this. I cant...

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Mom needs to wake up

Posted on 11/25/2019

I’ve read the question “Resetting the dial” - while we don’t have a big family, we do want to start having some family rules e.g. Come when you are called, do not disturb the family peace, getting...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

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