Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

On Chores, Discipline, Potty-Training

Posted on 3/29/2022

Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter a chore, she does it, but all the while she is muttering under her breath, huffing and puffing, and so on. Do I discipline that behavior or just let her...

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In Defense of ‘Because I Said So'

Posted on 2/1/2022

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...

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Teaching Financial Responsibility to Teens

Posted on 9/14/2021

Q: My two young teens are constantly begging me to buy them clothes. It’s become highly annoying. After reading your book on teenagers, I’ve decided to stop buying them any clothing and give them...

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The Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents

Posted on 7/13/2021

When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...

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Four Steps To Give Argumentative Teenager the Last Word (and Restore Sanity)

Posted on 6/8/2021

Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is slowly driving me insane! She argues with me about everything and always wants the last word. No matter how well I explain the “why?” of a decision to her, she...

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Micromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts

Posted on 2/23/2021

A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...

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Beware of 'The Protocol'

Posted on 12/29/2020

Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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The Realities of Smartphones and Teenagers

Posted on 9/20/2020

A mother in California seeks her pastor’s opinion on allowing her fifteen-year-old son to have a smartphone. The boy claims that if he can’t use social media, he will have no friends. Mom is...

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Why Small Classrooms Are Overrated

Posted on 5/5/2020

No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...

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Recent Questions

Ditch the "Smart" Phones

Posted yesterday

Hello, After coming in contact with your blog, I (dad) am trying to be more macro manager and not micro with my two girls, 13&11. They have iPhones. Should I be setting a screen time limit?...

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Enforcement is difficult.

Posted on 8/11/2022

My son is 12 years old and has been confined to his bedroom for the past month and a half for getting F’s in school. My husband thought he was acting suspicious so he peeked in his window and...

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KARL MARX HAD IT RIGHT!

Posted on 8/10/2022

It was the first day of school today for my 11-year-old (5th grade) and 8 year-old (3rd grade). An exciting day for all involved. My 11-year-old girl came home from school today and I asked how...

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Keeping Kids off Friends' Electronic Devices

Posted on 8/8/2022

We live in an HOA community with small backyards, so we can't tell our boys to play in the backyard all day though we have a trampoline. Instead, we hoped that our kids would play with the...

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FAMILY CONFLICT OVER DRINKING AND POT

Posted on 7/28/2022

As a kid, my dad & older brothers drank. My mom didn't, but allowed it. I started drinking at 17. My brothers smoke marijuana.I quit drinking at 28. I will occ. have a glass of wine, but not...

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Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

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9 year old's Frequent Night Time Urinating Best Evaluated by Pediatrician

Posted on 6/26/2022

My 9-year-old frequently gets out of bed to go to the toilet at night. I don’t mind but our house is laid out that he has to leave his bedroom, come down the stairs, past our living room, dining...

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Tween in need of self respect

Posted on 6/26/2022

Hi there, I have an 11 year old who is a pretty good tween most of the time - independently does her homework, and is helpful around the house, respectful with teachers and peers. However with...

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Lazy Bones needs to Play

Posted on 6/21/2022

I have a twelve year old son. My concern is that he is incredibly lazy. He has no ambition to do anything. He finishes what we require of him and takes up his spot on the couch. Sometimes he reads...

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11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER

Posted on 6/11/2022

My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

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