"A father's contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother. "

Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Micromanaging Weakens Child's Success in School

Posted on 8/22/2017

Q: Our son attends first grade at the local public school. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were basically told that we are expected to go to the school’s parent website every...

Read More

Take the Drama out of Math Homework

Posted on 8/30/2016

Q: Our sixth-grade son has always been an excellent math student. This year, however, he melts down every time he does math homework. Within minutes, he becomes highly agitated, begins crying,...

Read More

Selecting the Right Private School

Posted on 8/16/2016

Q: We are looking for a private school for our 4-year-old. Regardless of the school we ultimately choose, we want to keep him there through eighth grade at least. We live in an suburban area so...

Read More

Misplacing a Sense of Purpose

Posted on 12/9/2014

Q: My buddy’s wife walks their 11-year-old into the classroom each day. Then she takes out his assignments and helps him get ready. We’re talking about a very capable kid who has no...

Read More

Pull-Ups & Adoption Age

Posted on 9/16/2014

Q: My 23-month-old son does well with potty training when we’re at home. We use a “potty bell” and he goes every 90 minutes or so. When we’re away from home, however, he seems clueless. He...

Read More

Impulse Control: A Hallmark of Life

Posted on 8/5/2014

A mom recently asked me what I would say to my son if he was twelve years old and wanted a Mohawk haircut for the summer. I told her I’d say no. “But is it really that...

Read More

To Help or Not To Help?

Posted on 6/3/2014

I recently asked a group of 50 teachers: “Raise your hand if you agree that when a child comes to an adult asking for help with an academic problem, the adult should help.” ...

Read More

Good Parenting Decisions

Posted on 5/20/2014

Q: For the first five years of her life, it was just me and my now 13-year-old daughter. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. I wasn’t consistent; I didn’t hold her accountable; I was an...

Read More

Too Old to Cuddle?

Posted on 4/15/2014

Q: My 11-year old son, an only child, continues to ask me to "snuggle" with him and scratch his back at bed time. This is a time for us to read aloud, chat about concerns or questions, and say...

Read More

The "Hang in There Principle"

Posted on 11/26/2013

Q: My 11-year-old son cuts corners on everything. If he does a chore, he'll leave the cleaning products behind. If his bed his hard to make he hides the sheet in the closet and throws the blanket...

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

An 11-year old Queen?

Posted 3 days ago

I home school our 11 year old daughter. She refuses to do any work if she does not feel like it. I will send her to her room and she will not go. I inform her that there will be a consequence if...

Read More

11 yro having trouble following directions

Posted 1 week ago

The private school my children attend requires the use of tablets instead of books. My son has had trouble using it properly. It was stripped of all access to games and online media; however, he...

Read More

Teens and Supplements

Posted 1 week ago

I am really enjoying John's book, Teen Proofing! Thanks, John! We have a brand new 12-year-old boy who has switched over from being kind, thoughtful, and sweet to being disrespectful,...

Read More

Disobedient, Defiant Sixth Grader

Posted 2 weeks ago

We have an 11-yr-old son who is disobedient and defiant. He simply won't do what he is told to do. He is chronically late getting ready for school, often telling us he isn't going (6th grade...

Read More

Indulging an adopted son.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi There. We have a 12 year old son whom we adopted at birth. After many years of waiting, we just adopted a newborn girl. Our son loves her very much and is very loving towards her. But, he...

Read More

12 year old yelling regarding punishments

Posted 3 weeks ago

This is a follow up to the question on 10-17-17 concerning "yelling" from our 12 yr. old. I have thought over your response and realize my question was rushed and unclear. We have all the...

Read More

Character training

Posted 3 weeks ago

After listening to John’s podcast “The pursuit of happiness” I wondered about some of the practical how to’s of discipling not only the behavior of our 12,10,2 1/2 year old boys but also the way...

Read More

Moving Towards Leadership Parenting

Posted on 1/10/2018

I'm a single mom of three. 14 yr boy, 11 yr boy/girl twins. My daughter seems to do everything to NOT do what I ask her to do. She eventually does it, but not before struggling to stand up or...

Read More

Punishment for all?

Posted on 12/22/2017

I have a question about do not disturb the family peace. I want to start this with my 2 boys age 11 and 12 because they are always fighting. My 8 year old daughter generally stays out of all...

Read More

Objecting to a step-family.

Posted on 12/3/2017

I have been divorced almost 6 years and the only man I have ever dated has asked me to marry him. We have been dating 3.5 years and each have two children, ages 9 and 12. My 12 yo is really...

Read More
View All Questions

Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

Read More
View All Audio