Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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On Chores, Discipline, Potty-Training

Posted on 3/29/2022

Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter a chore, she does it, but all the while she is muttering under her breath, huffing and puffing, and so on. Do I discipline that behavior or just let her...

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In Defense of ‘Because I Said So'

Posted on 2/1/2022

Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...

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Teaching Financial Responsibility to Teens

Posted on 9/14/2021

Q: My two young teens are constantly begging me to buy them clothes. It’s become highly annoying. After reading your book on teenagers, I’ve decided to stop buying them any clothing and give them...

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The Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents

Posted on 7/13/2021

When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...

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Four Steps To Give Argumentative Teenager the Last Word (and Restore Sanity)

Posted on 6/8/2021

Q: My fifteen-year-old daughter is slowly driving me insane! She argues with me about everything and always wants the last word. No matter how well I explain the “why?” of a decision to her, she...

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Micromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts

Posted on 2/23/2021

A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...

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Beware of 'The Protocol'

Posted on 12/29/2020

Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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The Realities of Smartphones and Teenagers

Posted on 9/20/2020

A mother in California seeks her pastor’s opinion on allowing her fifteen-year-old son to have a smartphone. The boy claims that if he can’t use social media, he will have no friends. Mom is...

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Recent Questions

Family spiritual beliefs are foundational.

Posted on 8/10/2023

We have three boys, ages 14, 11, and 7. We recently started attending a new church. I would like the older two to attend the Wednesday night youth group but am unsure how to approach it with them....

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The Lying Game

Posted on 6/26/2023

Our 12 y.o. son has been lying to us, but most concerning is about injuries received on his face and neck after school. The first incident he had scratches on his neck which he blamed on tree...

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KIDS ONLY ALLOWED TO BE SCREEN ADDICTS 1 - 2 HOURS A DAY

Posted on 6/5/2023

Hello! We have three boys, ages 10, 6 and 2. We’re having with my husband questions about what’s the right way to motivate our 2 older boys to be self motivated (the only thing that they seem to...

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Technology and the Preteen Boy

Posted on 4/26/2023

Aloha, I want to use the weekly ticket system, or throwing the child out of the garden, to discipline my 12 year old son (6th grade). The problem lies in that much of the homework now is given...

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KIDS RUINING SPRING BREAK VACATION

Posted on 3/15/2023

We are on Spring Break and our kids have not been listening/obeying. Thus, we took away dinners out and got a babysitter and also removed their privilege of playing tennis because that was where...

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12YO's Rude Behavior Needs to Stop

Posted on 3/7/2023

6 yo daughter and a 12 yo daughter. 12 yo is acting rude toward her grandma. Grandma is loving, kind, interested and attends activities. 12 yo is a good kid, good grades, is respectful. We’ve set...

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Why doesn't he hand in the homework?

Posted on 2/17/2023

We have a 12 year old son who is in the 7th grade (junior high) this year. He is a good kid who has lots of friends and is very active in sports and does quite well. Our problem this past school...

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BOOKS ON PUBERTY AND REPRODUCTION

Posted on 1/14/2023

Have you any recommendations for books about puberty and reproduction that do not have underlying political or religious agendas? I am struggling to find just the right fit for my 10-year-old. One...

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Anger Mismanagement

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

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13YO Thinks She's All That and A Bag of Chips

Posted on 1/4/2023

My 13 year old has been very mean to her sisters for a while now. She is very smart and quick witted. She is constantly talking down to her sisters, belittling them and making one of them cry. We...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen

Posted on 3/16/2023

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA, and is based...

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Video

A Fail-Safe Formula for Helping Your Child Maximize His Success in School (Webinar Recording)

Posted 1 week ago

In this 90-minute seminar, distinguished family psychologist and parenting expert John Rosemond will share what teachers have told him when he asks them, "What characteristics do high-performing...

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Parenting Teenagers

Posted on 6/28/2023

The teenage years are well known for being a time of difficulty and conflict between parent and child. The teenager has a new desire for the privileges of adulthood, but must first learn the...

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