"How do you get a child to do what he's told the first time he's told? Don't ever repeat yourself. "

Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Exchange Arrangements Stressful to Pre-Teen Daughter

Posted on 9/12/2018

Q: I am reading your book “The Well-Behaved Child” and have a question that it doesn’t address. I am a single mom with children from two different fathers. One of my ex-husbands (my son’s father)...

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The Peer Group: When to Do Something, What to Do, and When to Do Nothing

Posted on 5/1/2018

No question about it, the peer group exerts great influence on teenagers. From the way they dress to the way they carry their books, the stamp of peer pressure is upon them. If the influence is...

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Micromanaging Weakens Child's Success in School

Posted on 8/22/2017

Q: Our son attends first grade at the local public school. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were basically told that we are expected to go to the school’s parent website every...

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Take the Drama out of Math Homework

Posted on 8/30/2016

Q: Our sixth-grade son has always been an excellent math student. This year, however, he melts down every time he does math homework. Within minutes, he becomes highly agitated, begins crying,...

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Selecting the Right Private School

Posted on 8/16/2016

Q: We are looking for a private school for our 4-year-old. Regardless of the school we ultimately choose, we want to keep him there through eighth grade at least. We live in an suburban area so...

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Misplacing a Sense of Purpose

Posted on 12/9/2014

Q: My buddy’s wife walks their 11-year-old into the classroom each day. Then she takes out his assignments and helps him get ready. We’re talking about a very capable kid who has no...

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Pull-Ups & Adoption Age

Posted on 9/16/2014

Q: My 23-month-old son does well with potty training when we’re at home. We use a “potty bell” and he goes every 90 minutes or so. When we’re away from home, however, he seems clueless. He...

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Impulse Control: A Hallmark of Life

Posted on 8/5/2014

A mom recently asked me what I would say to my son if he was twelve years old and wanted a Mohawk haircut for the summer. I told her I’d say no. “But is it really that...

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To Help or Not To Help?

Posted on 6/3/2014

I recently asked a group of 50 teachers: “Raise your hand if you agree that when a child comes to an adult asking for help with an academic problem, the adult should help.” ...

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Recent Questions

The Headless Choresmen

Posted 3 days ago

Having completed "Parenting by the Book" , I sadly realize I have done my children no favors by doing so much for them. They are now 7 and 11 and need to be reminded to do every little thing. We...

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Put some Harsh in their Mellow

Posted 3 days ago

Our son recently turned 11. Having just finished "Parenting by the book" and almost done "Teenproofing" I am certain we started too late with "Gramma's rules" while we fumbled through time outs,...

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Caution: Child in Charge

Posted 4 days ago

Our recently-turned 11-year-old boy is really hating school this year. He seems to think he knows what he needs to learn for his future and the rest is a waste of his time. He is a very bright...

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11 year old not paying attention to parents

Posted 4 days ago

I just reviewed a questions from another subscriber using a ticket system with a 7 year old to nip multiple behaviors in the bud. In the answer I read "You cannot disciple or discipline a child...

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Exposure to Exposure

Posted on 9/26/2018

Hello. I read so many articles about what to do after a child or teen has been exposed and then becomes addicted to pornography. What are some steps to protect my child from interacting with...

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Teen Proofing with Cell Phones

Posted on 9/12/2018

I am currently reading John's book Teen Proofing. In chapter 3 he discusses the six C-words, curfew, cash, car, cohorts, conflict, and consequences. He gives detailed explanations of how he and...

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13 year old abusing computer privileges

Posted on 8/28/2018

I'm having a technology issue with my almost 13 year old. We have placed guidelines and restrictions on her computer use but she continues to abuse her privileges. She went all summer with no...

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Middle School Behaviors

Posted on 8/23/2018

Is there a section on this site for teachers? Where can I find information about dealing with behaviors in a school setting specifically middle school?

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Screen time is all up to you!

Posted on 8/13/2018

I am at my wits end with screen time and Fort Night. I try and stay by a limited number of minutes and it’s never enough and always ends up in a huge battle . I give him an hour he takes five...

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Nip Out-of-Control Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 7/31/2018

How do I apply John Rosemond's recommendations with three completely out-of-control boys (ages 5, 7, 9)? They don't follow any of the rules, regard all property in the house as their own (tools,...

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Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

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