Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

John's Most Recent Articles

Help Son Learn to Give and Take In Conversation

Posted on 11/15/2022

Q: My just-turned four-year-old repeats things he has heard or has said before. For example, even though my brother’s family moved away nearly two years ago, whenever we drive by their...

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School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing

Posted on 8/23/2022

“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...

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What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?

Posted on 6/7/2022

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....

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Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

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‘Parenting’ vs Childrearing

Posted on 1/25/2022

I often go looking for parenting ideas that illustrate the difference between so-called “parenting” and mere childrearing. They abound. My latest find came in the form of a 2018 article on...

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No New Tricks To Raising Kids

Posted on 11/30/2021

What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...

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Fixing Our 'Parent-View'

Posted on 9/28/2021

Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...

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How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

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Psychological Parenting Is a Prescription for Enabling

Posted on 8/24/2021

Q: In your column, you have often spoken of “psychological parenting.” What, exactly, do you mean by that? A: Answering your question requires that we first unpack the word “parenting,” the...

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Recent Questions

Discipline at home for behavior at school

Posted on 4/19/2023

We have already raised our 4 daughters, the youngest is 24. We are currently, for some incredible reasons, in our third month of fostering to adopt a young child. Things at home are slowly...

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BeFuddled Father Facing Four Females

Posted on 4/10/2023

Hello, I know you don't know the history at all with my step-daughters. However, we gave out Easter candy to our 3 daughters (2 step-daughter and one is my own). The 16 year old step-daughter...

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Making Tickets Work

Posted on 3/2/2023

Hello - My wife and I have loved "The Well-Behaved Child". We implemented the ticketing for a 4 year old daughter and have noticed some improvements but there is more work to do. The consistent...

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4 year old crying episodes

Posted on 1/11/2023

My grandson is 4 to be 5 in May of this year 2023. He is in a pre K public school and has been since September of 2022. He has been , we think, behind in his personal growth. During the birth he...

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Puppy challenge

Posted on 1/9/2023

We got a puppy in July, and while the dog is great I’m not able to get my kids to stay off of him, mainly my son (6yrs). He seems to think he is a stuffed animal or a toy and plays way too rough....

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Silly boy, listening is for kids

Posted on 11/13/2022

Our 4 year old was a pretty good listener right up to when he turned 4. We've weathered some big tantrums, which seem to mostly be in decline (frequency & length). Now, he has started to just "be...

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Let's talk about sex

Posted on 11/9/2022

My 14 yr old daughter has been talking/FaceTiming with a 14 yr old boy from school and it has been sweet and innocent until this last week. They have been asking each other questions about sex. To...

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childminder refuses to watch 9 yo boy

Posted on 10/24/2022

What is a good consequence when you pay for your 9 year old to go to holiday clubs and childminder so you can work but they misbehave and complain so much they don’t want to be there that staff...

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10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

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Need more banger Info please!

Posted on 9/14/2022

We read the Q&A on "10 month boy bangs head" which is exactly what our son does except he's now 18 months old and has been doing it for so long he literally has a unicorn bump growing on his head....

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