Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

John's Most Recent Articles

'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing

Posted on 8/23/2022

“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...

Read More

What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?

Posted on 6/7/2022

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....

Read More

Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

Read More

‘Parenting’ vs Childrearing

Posted on 1/25/2022

I often go looking for parenting ideas that illustrate the difference between so-called “parenting” and mere childrearing. They abound. My latest find came in the form of a 2018 article on...

Read More

No New Tricks To Raising Kids

Posted on 11/30/2021

What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...

Read More

Fixing Our 'Parent-View'

Posted on 9/28/2021

Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...

Read More

How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

Read More

Psychological Parenting Is a Prescription for Enabling

Posted on 8/24/2021

Q: In your column, you have often spoken of “psychological parenting.” What, exactly, do you mean by that? A: Answering your question requires that we first unpack the word “parenting,” the...

Read More

Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted on 5/18/2021

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

Read More

The Futility of Reasoning With Children

Posted on 5/4/2021

Many if not most if not almost all of today’s parents believe in magic words. They do so because the mental health professional community has for fifty years or so told them that children can be...

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

Need more banger Info please!

Posted 2 weeks ago

We read the Q&A on "10 month boy bangs head" which is exactly what our son does except he's now 18 months old and has been doing it for so long he literally has a unicorn bump growing on his head....

Read More

7 year old and The Ticket to Controlling Their Own Behavior

Posted on 8/25/2022

My 7 yr. old daugher is the youngest of (2) kids, and her anger at home has a short fuse. Every time our 9 yr. old son engages her (as siblings do), she explodes and starts hitting and screaming...

Read More

Sometimes all you need is a hug and a dutch door.

Posted on 8/13/2022

When my 4 year old son loses all his privileges for the day, we cannot get him to stay in his room. What is something we can try? We calmly put him back in his room each time he runs out, but it...

Read More

Enforcement is difficult.

Posted on 8/11/2022

My son is 12 years old and has been confined to his bedroom for the past month and a half for getting F’s in school. My husband thought he was acting suspicious so he peeked in his window and...

Read More

Get Creative

Posted on 7/24/2022

Greetings! Our usually cheerful and happy 4yo daughter does not seem to react normally to punishment. At first she gets upset and cries, but very shortly into a time out or being sent to her room...

Read More

Stop Complaining!

Posted on 7/12/2022

I have a boy who just turned 8. We eat dinner and shortly after he complains he’s hungry (I fix good, homemade balanced meals). When I fix dinner, he complains he doesn’t like what we’re having....

Read More

Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

Read More

6 YO PEEING HER PANTS

Posted on 7/8/2022

Our 6yr Girl has has recently started peeing her pants because she refuses to stop playing and use the restroom. She has admitted that she is just being "lazy" and thought she could hold it. ...

Read More

9 year old's Frequent Night Time Urinating Best Evaluated by Pediatrician

Posted on 6/26/2022

My 9-year-old frequently gets out of bed to go to the toilet at night. I don’t mind but our house is laid out that he has to leave his bedroom, come down the stairs, past our living room, dining...

Read More

Tween in need of self respect

Posted on 6/26/2022

Hi there, I have an 11 year old who is a pretty good tween most of the time - independently does her homework, and is helpful around the house, respectful with teachers and peers. However with...

Read More
View All Questions