Miscellaneous Discipline Problems
John's Most Recent Articles
Help Son Learn to Give and Take In Conversation
Posted on 11/15/2022
Q: My just-turned four-year-old repeats things he has heard or has said before. For example, even though my brother’s family moved away nearly two years ago, whenever we drive by their...
Read MoreSchool Principal Asks About Discipline
Posted on 10/25/2022
Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...
Read More'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing
Posted on 8/23/2022
“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...
Read MoreWhat Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?
Posted on 6/7/2022
Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....
Read MoreKids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults
Posted on 3/22/2022
The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...
Read More‘Parenting’ vs Childrearing
Posted on 1/25/2022
I often go looking for parenting ideas that illustrate the difference between so-called “parenting” and mere childrearing. They abound. My latest find came in the form of a 2018 article on...
Read MoreNo New Tricks To Raising Kids
Posted on 11/30/2021
What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...
Read MoreFixing Our 'Parent-View'
Posted on 9/28/2021
Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...
Read MoreHow To Help Your Child Get More Grit
Posted on 9/7/2021
It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...
Read MorePsychological Parenting Is a Prescription for Enabling
Posted on 8/24/2021
Q: In your column, you have often spoken of “psychological parenting.” What, exactly, do you mean by that? A: Answering your question requires that we first unpack the word “parenting,” the...
Read MoreRecent Questions
Less Help May Be Better For 11YO
Posted on 4/3/2025
How can I help my 11 yo daughter take responsibility for her mistakes and care more about doing right than fear getting caught? Often, her apologies are insincere and she walks away as if she was...
Read MoreA Booklover's Guide to Agony
Posted on 2/21/2025
I just received a call from our Head of School stating our 8 year old son threatened another child at school. This is completely out of character for him and when asked about he said"he let his...
Read MoreTattling vs important information- 4 yro
Posted on 12/3/2024
At what point should we discipline for tattle telling? Our 4 year old loves to tell us when our 1-year old is doing something "wrong." My problem is that sometimes the information she gives me is...
Read MoreGame on at nap time.
Posted on 10/16/2024
My three year old grandson, whom I watch twice a week, often runs from me or hides behind a chair when I try to take him up for his nap or put him to bed. He also does it to my daughter, but not...
Read More13 YO STEALING MONEY FROM PARENTS
Posted on 9/25/2024
My 13 year old son is stealing money from us. Both from my purse and our envelope system. I was suspicious for a long time, but now I am confident it's him. My guess it's to spend money on junk...
Read MoreDaughter needs the Dr.'s help
Posted on 9/18/2024
I have a 5-yr old daughter disrupting her class on a daily basis. Her teacher has asked that we speak with her as it has become a problem as her teacher is constantly having to stop and start...
Read More5 YO's Low Tolerance for Frustration is Frustrating Mom
Posted on 8/20/2024
Our 5 year old son has little control over his emotions. A year ago it was mainly struggling with perfectionism and crying about not doing something the “right” way, lately it’s a big outburst...
Read MoreCall the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress
Posted on 7/7/2024
Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...
Read MoreIt's Always Something
Posted on 6/21/2024
Good day. My son (7.5) has come a long way on many behavioral issues. One infuriating thing we are still having trouble with is his tendency to break things. I get the impulse to "test"...
Read MoreNever spar with a picky eater.
Posted on 5/4/2024
My daughter (3 yrs.) has become a picky eater. Before she would occasionally be picky but most of the time did pretty decent with what we gave her. But she has recently been a very picky eater. I...
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