Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

John's Most Recent Articles

Help Son Learn to Give and Take In Conversation

Posted on 11/15/2022

Q: My just-turned four-year-old repeats things he has heard or has said before. For example, even though my brother’s family moved away nearly two years ago, whenever we drive by their...

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School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing

Posted on 8/23/2022

“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...

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What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?

Posted on 6/7/2022

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....

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Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

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‘Parenting’ vs Childrearing

Posted on 1/25/2022

I often go looking for parenting ideas that illustrate the difference between so-called “parenting” and mere childrearing. They abound. My latest find came in the form of a 2018 article on...

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No New Tricks To Raising Kids

Posted on 11/30/2021

What is “gentle parenting”? It did not take much investigation for me to conclude that it is merely a rebranding of the same old, same old parenting babble America’s mental health establishment...

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Fixing Our 'Parent-View'

Posted on 9/28/2021

Most of the problems today’s parents are experiencing in the course of raising children are due to a faulty “parent-view.” Just as one’s worldview consists of attitudes, values, and expectations...

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How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

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Psychological Parenting Is a Prescription for Enabling

Posted on 8/24/2021

Q: In your column, you have often spoken of “psychological parenting.” What, exactly, do you mean by that? A: Answering your question requires that we first unpack the word “parenting,” the...

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Recent Questions

Less Help May Be Better For 11YO

Posted on 4/3/2025

How can I help my 11 yo daughter take responsibility for her mistakes and care more about doing right than fear getting caught? Often, her apologies are insincere and she walks away as if she was...

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A Booklover's Guide to Agony

Posted on 2/21/2025

I just received a call from our Head of School stating our 8 year old son threatened another child at school. This is completely out of character for him and when asked about he said"he let his...

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Tattling vs important information- 4 yro

Posted on 12/3/2024

At what point should we discipline for tattle telling? Our 4 year old loves to tell us when our 1-year old is doing something "wrong." My problem is that sometimes the information she gives me is...

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Game on at nap time.

Posted on 10/16/2024

My three year old grandson, whom I watch twice a week, often runs from me or hides behind a chair when I try to take him up for his nap or put him to bed. He also does it to my daughter, but not...

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13 YO STEALING MONEY FROM PARENTS

Posted on 9/25/2024

My 13 year old son is stealing money from us. Both from my purse and our envelope system. I was suspicious for a long time, but now I am confident it's him. My guess it's to spend money on junk...

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Daughter needs the Dr.'s help

Posted on 9/18/2024

I have a 5-yr old daughter disrupting her class on a daily basis. Her teacher has asked that we speak with her as it has become a problem as her teacher is constantly having to stop and start...

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5 YO's Low Tolerance for Frustration is Frustrating Mom

Posted on 8/20/2024

Our 5 year old son has little control over his emotions. A year ago it was mainly struggling with perfectionism and crying about not doing something the “right” way, lately it’s a big outburst...

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Call the "Doctor" for Damsel in Distress

Posted on 7/7/2024

Our 7 yo daughter will act like a damsel in distress—getting fake hurt or acting like she can’t do something. My husband and I ignore it, or nonchalantly guide her to her room to ‘rest’. It has...

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It's Always Something

Posted on 6/21/2024

Good day. My son (7.5) has come a long way on many behavioral issues. One infuriating thing we are still having trouble with is his tendency to break things. I get the impulse to "test"...

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Never spar with a picky eater.

Posted on 5/4/2024

My daughter (3 yrs.) has become a picky eater. Before she would occasionally be picky but most of the time did pretty decent with what we gave her. But she has recently been a very picky eater. I...

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