"Children show respect for parents by obeying them. Parents show respect for children by expecting them to obey. "

Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

John's Most Recent Articles

You Can't Win 'Em All

Posted on 3/5/2019

I’ve been writing this column for forty-three years and speaking publicly for nearly as long. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that when it comes to my subject matter, you can’t win ‘em...

Read More

Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

Read More

Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

Read More

Authoritative Attitude Is Key to Discipline

Posted on 5/2/2018

Q: We are having no success getting our 3-year-old (her third birthday is in a couple of weeks) to do what we tell her to do. She defies us at every opportunity, whether it’s just ignoring us or...

Read More

Strike While the Iron Is Cold

Posted on 11/17/2017

Recently, a mother asked how she and her husband could make their 16-year-old son stop talking disrespectfully to them. So far, she said, they'd complained, threatened and occasionally taken his...

Read More

Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

Read More

Lowering the Boom

Posted on 7/7/2015

Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond One of the most common of complaints from today’s parents is “we’ve tried everything.” They refer, of course, to having tried numerous approaches...

Read More

The Very Essence of Effective Discipline

Posted on 6/9/2015

Two months ago, I conducted a two-day small-group “parent retreat” during which I talked about, among other things, the legitimacy and power of “because I said so.” One of my missions is to...

Read More

To Spank or Not to Spank?

Posted on 10/28/2014

It’s time once again for me to clarify my position on spanking. I arrived at this reluctant conclusion because twice in the last week, I’ve been informed that I believe in it, which is...

Read More

Roadblocks to Success in Classroom Discipline

Posted on 10/14/2014

A first-grade teacher asks what she can do about a girl in her class who is completely undisciplined. After nearly two months of this teacher’s best efforts, the child’s behavior is no...

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

Strike a Balance

Posted 3 weeks ago

I’m having a difficult time with my nearly 6 year old son. It feels like we are butting heads all of the time. He has become increasingly more sensitive lately. Throwing huge tantrums, crying over...

Read More

Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Posted on 3/12/2019

Hello, We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't...

Read More

Lowering the Boom

Posted on 3/1/2019

I have been seeking help from this site for a long time and would appreciate you looking through our history for insight and understanding. My now seven year old son is still having behavior...

Read More

Toying With Grandma

Posted on 2/22/2019

My six-year-old granddaughter is terrible about helping her sister put up toys. She always has been. Before my daughter died, she was trying hard to get her to obey without all the drama, and the...

Read More

Puberty and Lingerie Continues to be a problem

Posted on 2/21/2019

We are continuing to have a problem with my son, now 14, and girls clothes. I noticed some of my items missing recently, black camisole and a black slip. I found a bag in his closet filled with...

Read More

Sibling Rivalry

Posted on 2/19/2019

my daughters, age 5 and 2, constantly fight. I agree siblings need to settle their own quarrels; however, my 2 year old is still physically agressive (pulling hair, hitting), and sometimes I...

Read More

more consequences or more attitude?

Posted on 2/16/2019

Do you all have a list of different types of consequences for young kids? Currently we use a combination of the following for our kids (6, 5, 3, 20mos): spankings with a wooden spoon (sometimes...

Read More

Separate but Equal

Posted on 2/10/2019

I have an introverted, sensitive (gentle and kind) four-year-old son and an extroverted, physically rambunctious two-year-old son. The two year old is physically aggressive (biting and hitting)...

Read More

Teenage drama

Posted on 2/5/2019

My 14 year old son had a very rough transition to high school this year. Although he has the ability, he is not performing well and has failed two classes last semester. This semester is not...

Read More

Remove 5-Year-Old From Center Stage

Posted on 2/4/2019

For the first five years of our daughter’s life, we have made the mistake of being a child centered family. She now does not listen to, or respect adults. How do we make the change now to be a...

Read More
View All Questions