Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

John's Most Recent Articles

School Principal Asks About Discipline

Posted on 10/25/2022

Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...

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'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing

Posted on 8/23/2022

“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...

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Discipline Differences Between Divorced Parents

Posted on 5/10/2022

Q: We see my husband's 9-year-old son every other weekend and two weeks in the summer. He has major issues in school with both behavior and doing his work. He's well behaved when he's with us, but...

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When To Use Time-outs

Posted on 1/4/2022

I was once an orthodox believer in the power of time-out—the practice of having a child sit in a somewhat isolated chair for five minutes or so immediately after said child has misbehaved. I...

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Time Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old

Posted on 12/21/2021

Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...

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Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted on 5/18/2021

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

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The Drama of a Child's Feelings

Posted on 4/20/2021

One of the more unfortunate consequences of relying on advice from mental health “experts” concerning parenting matters has been a one-dimensional understanding of child discipline. Because of the...

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Discipline vs. Punishment

Posted on 2/9/2021

Misusing terminology is not simply a matter of semantics. A person who confuses the meaning of words is likely to behave accordingly. That occurred to me during a conversation with...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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Punishment Does Not Cause Mental Health Issues

Posted on 12/31/2019

This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s. ...

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Recent Questions

Anger Mismanagement

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 11.5 year old, quite academic son, is very respectful outside home and loved by his teachers. In past few years he is lacking anger management and becomes disrespectful (especially with mom)...

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6 yr old fits

Posted 3 weeks ago

My daughter is 6 years old. When her father and I speak to her about her behaviour she interrupts us by saying "I know, I know, I know". She is constantly talking back! she's hit me before and I...

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Does Chicken Little Make You a Little Chicken? A Four-Year Old's Tantrumizing

Posted 4 weeks ago

Constant power struggle with 4-year old. Our 4 year old son’s behavior has done a complete 180 within the last couple of weeks only at home. Preschool and daycare is constantly telling us he’s...

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Fears, Five Year Olds, and the Doctor

Posted on 12/12/2022

My daughter, age 5 1/2 recently started acting irrational. She refuses to get in the car and will unbuckle herself and jump out. This behavior started a week ago when she refused to sleep in her...

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The Doctor is In

Posted on 11/29/2022

Help! Our daughter is 5 and has become defiant and disobedient. For example she will come to us and say "I know I'm not supposed to (enter action) but I did." She said she's being truthful by...

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Pest Control

Posted on 11/17/2022

Our 5-year-old daughter has come a long way with her behavior in the last year, but the top two biggest issues still are 1) her never ending pestering and annoying. She pesters and annoys those...

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10 Year Old with Violent Fits, Divorced Parents and "trifecta of diagnoses"

Posted on 10/13/2022

My 10 year old son has the adoptive trifecta of diagnoses: "on the autism spectrum", oppositional defiant disorder, and ADHD. Sometimes he has violent fits - although now they're down to 1 or 2...

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10 YEAR OLD WITH DEMONS?

Posted on 10/5/2022

I have been asking questions and seeking advice for a time. Had a coach, but my husband discontinued service. Last time I wrote I mentioned, My husband said we should cut it at the root. He...

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"PERSNIKETY" 32 MONTH OLD RUNS THE HOUSE

Posted on 9/29/2022

We have a very particular 32 month old. We've followed John's teachings for our other two from toddlerhood but this kid has us scratching our heads. This child of ours had a rough start to life;...

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Mentally Drained Mom Seeking Advice

Posted on 9/2/2022

We have a 9 year old girl, 6 year old boy, and 4.5 year old girl. I've read Parenting by The Book twice and The Well Behaved Child twice in the past month. Our 9 year old is the biggest challenge,...

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