"A father's contribution to his children is primarily a measure of how much he adores their mother. "

Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

John's Most Recent Articles

Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted 3 weeks ago

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

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The Drama of a Child's Feelings

Posted on 4/20/2021

One of the more unfortunate consequences of relying on advice from mental health “experts” concerning parenting matters has been a one-dimensional understanding of child discipline. Because of the...

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Discipline vs. Punishment

Posted on 2/9/2021

Misusing terminology is not simply a matter of semantics. A person who confuses the meaning of words is likely to behave accordingly. That occurred to me during a conversation with...

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Parents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'

Posted on 10/20/2020

Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...

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Punishment Does Not Cause Mental Health Issues

Posted on 12/31/2019

This is the second in a series on “parent-babble,” as in the same-old, same-old nonsense the mental health industry has been passing off as sound parenting advice since the late 1960s. ...

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Use 'Alpha Speech' to Get Child to Obey

Posted on 5/14/2019

Q: My 7-year-old son, an only child, is giving me fits. He’s overly active and will not cooperate in any instruction I give him. In addition, if I tell him not to do something, it’s a guarantee...

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You Can't Win 'Em All

Posted on 3/5/2019

I’ve been writing this column for forty-three years and speaking publicly for nearly as long. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that when it comes to my subject matter, you can’t win ‘em...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Let’s Revisit ‘Psychological Thinking’

Posted on 7/17/2018

I call it “psychological thinking,” referring to the tendency among parents of the last fifty years or so to attribute bad behavior on the part of a child to so-called “issues” that are thought to...

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Authoritative Attitude Is Key to Discipline

Posted on 5/2/2018

Q: We are having no success getting our 3-year-old (her third birthday is in a couple of weeks) to do what we tell her to do. She defies us at every opportunity, whether it’s just ignoring us or...

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Recent Questions

Hang in There!

Posted 1 week ago

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

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Mom Needs Nighttime Nightmare To End!

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old and 1 yr old - all boys - who share a room. We have a 2 bedroom house so there is no other option - we have a parent room and a boy room. The 1 yr old used to share our...

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Nine Year Old Drama

Posted 3 weeks ago

I'm worried about my daughter who's 9 years old. She is overly concerned with what people think of her. She gets easily embarrassed and is highly sensitive. I feel like she feels everyone doesn't...

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Toddler On The Run Needs To Stop In His Tracks

Posted 3 weeks ago

My 3 year old has started running away from me when we’re out, and also opening the front door and walking out. How should I handle this?

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted 4 weeks ago

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

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Consultation Inquiry

Posted on 5/12/2021

Hello, This question is about my child's disobedience. In my opinion, he is a very independent type A 5 year old. He always wans to be the boss. I have been trying the methods mentioned on the...

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Delaying Consequences - A Good Option for Mom

Posted on 5/2/2021

When my son is not being obedient, I say, "You have until the count of three or - insert consequences from his actions, i.e., “You won’t be going to go to the playground after preschool.” He...

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Coaching Kids Through Frustrations

Posted on 4/23/2021

My 11-year-old boy has Aspergers . He gets frustrated easily. What should I do?

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Burned out mom needs respite.

Posted on 4/14/2021

My daughter will turn 3 in a week. I also have a 5 year old son and a 6 month old baby. My daughter is typically a compliant, well mannered girl and is complimented by caregivers. However, she has...

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She's Got an Arm!

Posted on 4/13/2021

My 2 year old daughter is throwing anything and everything she can find when she feels upset or does not get her way ... any advice? We have tried ignoring it but she just grabs more things to...

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