"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

Young Adult (19-25 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Emancipation of Adult Children Can Be Messy

Posted on 6/4/2019

When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...

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Parent Involvement

Posted on 11/11/2014

Why are young adult children emancipating so much later than they did in 1970, when the average age of male emancipation (independent living, paying one’s own bills) was 21? Why do...

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Biting Finger Nails: What to do?

Posted on 1/21/2014

Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....

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21-Year-Old Needs Walking Papers

Posted on 2/26/2013

Q: My husband and I have a 21-year-old daughter from his first marriage. She was suspended from college for bad grades and is waiting out her time until she can go back. Meanwhile, she works for...

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Adult Child: What to do?

Posted on 12/11/2012

Q: We have an adult child who doesn't want to grow up. She quit college after two years and moved across the country. As we anticipated, she's having difficulty supporting herself. In fact, she...

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19-Year-Old Girl Dating Sarcastic Boyfriend

Posted on 3/15/2011

Is it verbal abuse or just snide humor? It appears that a recent column of mine had an effect similar to a Rorschach inkblot: People read their own personal experiences and/or biases into it...

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19-Year-Old Girl Dating Negative Boyfriend

Posted on 3/1/2011

Boyfriend just needs to grow up Q. Our 19-year-old daughter is dating a 19-year-old, who, in general, we like. He's not a partier, he's serious about his education, etc. The problem is that his...

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Kids Hitting Parents

Posted on 2/22/2011

A hidden abuse problem: Kids who assault parents One of the more heartbreaking consequences of the "psychological" parenting philosophy and style that American parents began adopting in the...

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20-Something Daughter Back Home

Posted on 1/26/2010

Parents need to teach adult daughter to take care of herself A colleague of mine used to say, "Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer." A reader recently asked me what rules she...

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College Graduate Returning Home

Posted on 12/29/2009

IN FORMERLY EMPTY NEST, SHE'LL RUFFLE FEATHERS Q. What, if any, ground rules can and should parents set for a child returning to live at home after college graduation? My husband and I are...

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Recent Questions

Only an Adult Chronologically

Posted on 7/12/2020

Our 19 year old daughter is living at home and working full time as a nursing aide at a local hospital. She has quit nursing school (the co-vid online situation did not work out well for her). In...

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ADHD: Fact and Fiction

Posted on 5/12/2020

My 19 year old daughter recently started seeing a counselor (not psychologist). After about 4 or 5 phone consultations, (phone only due to the COVID situation) the counselor tells us that our...

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Truth or Controversy?

Posted on 5/12/2020

One more question about ADHD ... I've read some of John's blogs on the topic and I know that his views are controversial. What resources (articles, websites, etc) would you point me toward that...

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Encouraging an adult child to be dependent.

Posted on 4/25/2020

Hi and thank you. Adult daughter has her own car she paid and her own insurance she pays. Father still will not let her drive by herself. He takes her to work and picks her up. She drives her car...

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Dads Are Never Done

Posted on 4/12/2020

I'm currently going through a divorce. Parenting has gotten increasingly harder for obvious reasons, and I'm the only disciplinarian. I'm concerned my kids - or some of them - are too old for me...

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Decisions fueled by guilt - not good.

Posted on 1/16/2020

Hi, I have written before regarding my stepson. He is 24 years old, has a college degree and lives at home with his mother. He has been diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, a chronic condition...

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College Student Has Lesson to Learn

Posted on 12/31/2019

I am a single mom of ten years to one son. He just completed his first semester of college at a Christian school. His faith is stronger than ever, he met some great people, was selected to be a...

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Custody Decision For 17 YO

Posted on 9/26/2019

John, I have read many of your books and listen to your podcast regularly. I am a Christian and agree with your biblical parenting principles. However, I am divorce from an atheist and he is...

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Adult Daughter Not Helping Around the House

Posted on 9/24/2019

Hello, I have a question about an older child living at home. Our daughter lives with us and is in her senior year of college. She is a very sweet person, respectful to us and works hard in school...

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It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

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