"A child without rules is like a fish out of water. "

Young Adult (19-25 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

Emancipation of Adult Children Can Be Messy

Posted on 6/4/2019

When children were raised, reared, or simply brought up, they emancipated “on time.” Upon high school graduation, children went to college, into the military, or became employed. Some, like my...

Read More

Parent Involvement

Posted on 11/11/2014

Why are young adult children emancipating so much later than they did in 1970, when the average age of male emancipation (independent living, paying one’s own bills) was 21? Why do...

Read More

Biting Finger Nails: What to do?

Posted on 1/21/2014

Q: What can be done to stop a nineteen year old from biting his finger nails? This has been an ongoing habit from early childhood. He's obviously damaging his fingers and maybe even his teeth....

Read More

21-Year-Old Needs Walking Papers

Posted on 2/26/2013

Q: My husband and I have a 21-year-old daughter from his first marriage. She was suspended from college for bad grades and is waiting out her time until she can go back. Meanwhile, she works for...

Read More

Adult Child: What to do?

Posted on 12/11/2012

Q: We have an adult child who doesn't want to grow up. She quit college after two years and moved across the country. As we anticipated, she's having difficulty supporting herself. In fact, she...

Read More

19-Year-Old Girl Dating Sarcastic Boyfriend

Posted on 3/15/2011

Is it verbal abuse or just snide humor? It appears that a recent column of mine had an effect similar to a Rorschach inkblot: People read their own personal experiences and/or biases into it...

Read More

19-Year-Old Girl Dating Negative Boyfriend

Posted on 3/1/2011

Boyfriend just needs to grow up Q. Our 19-year-old daughter is dating a 19-year-old, who, in general, we like. He's not a partier, he's serious about his education, etc. The problem is that his...

Read More

Kids Hitting Parents

Posted on 2/22/2011

A hidden abuse problem: Kids who assault parents One of the more heartbreaking consequences of the "psychological" parenting philosophy and style that American parents began adopting in the...

Read More

20-Something Daughter Back Home

Posted on 1/26/2010

Parents need to teach adult daughter to take care of herself A colleague of mine used to say, "Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer." A reader recently asked me what rules she...

Read More

College Graduate Returning Home

Posted on 12/29/2009

IN FORMERLY EMPTY NEST, SHE'LL RUFFLE FEATHERS Q. What, if any, ground rules can and should parents set for a child returning to live at home after college graduation? My husband and I are...

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

Who pays for what - the college years

Posted 3 weeks ago

19 yr old in college on substantial scholarship not taking her academics seriously and, given the trajectory, will lose the scholarship come year's end. From her history, I think she's just a...

Read More

The Time for Tough Love is NOW

Posted on 10/31/2020

My son is 19 years old and has been graduated from high school for 1 1/2 years. His teen years were a struggle with almost not graduating, drug use and getting into trouble with the law. He no...

Read More

Need more information

Posted on 10/28/2020

Hi- I need guidance on what type of mental health professional to get for my college age child. This teen has anxiety and it is grown worse since starting college. We are concerned about any...

Read More

Time to learn to forgive and be grateful.

Posted on 10/22/2020

I have a nineteen year old son who is displaying behaviors of depression. He is not eating, hiding in his room all day, refuses to participate in friend activities unless it is with his...

Read More

Teens and Technology: Education is Key for Safety

Posted on 10/14/2020

We have not allowed our 3 children ages 12, 14 and 15 to have cell phones. They also do not have Social Media accounts. They are allowed to text or FaceTime friends or cousins using our phones. ...

Read More

Only an Adult Chronologically

Posted on 7/12/2020

Our 19 year old daughter is living at home and working full time as a nursing aide at a local hospital. She has quit nursing school (the co-vid online situation did not work out well for her). In...

Read More

ADHD: Fact and Fiction

Posted on 5/12/2020

My 19 year old daughter recently started seeing a counselor (not psychologist). After about 4 or 5 phone consultations, (phone only due to the COVID situation) the counselor tells us that our...

Read More

Truth or Controversy?

Posted on 5/12/2020

One more question about ADHD ... I've read some of John's blogs on the topic and I know that his views are controversial. What resources (articles, websites, etc) would you point me toward that...

Read More

Encouraging an adult child to be dependent.

Posted on 4/25/2020

Hi and thank you. Adult daughter has her own car she paid and her own insurance she pays. Father still will not let her drive by herself. He takes her to work and picks her up. She drives her car...

Read More

Dads Are Never Done

Posted on 4/12/2020

I'm currently going through a divorce. Parenting has gotten increasingly harder for obvious reasons, and I'm the only disciplinarian. I'm concerned my kids - or some of them - are too old for me...

Read More
View All Questions