"Good parents take very, very good care of their marriage, lest their marriage become a mirage. "

Older Teen/High School (16-18 years)

John's Most Recent Articles

The Peer Group: When to Do Something, What to Do, and When to Do Nothing

Posted 3 weeks ago

No question about it, the peer group exerts great influence on teenagers. From the way they dress to the way they carry their books, the stamp of peer pressure is upon them. If the influence is...

Read More

Parents of Unmotivated Teen Should Stop Stressing

Posted 4 weeks ago

Q: Our 17-year-old son is flunking his junior year in high school. Flunking is not a possibility; it is a definite, a done deal. He has passed the point where he could turn this around. He’s very...

Read More

Are College Visits Necessary?

Posted on 1/3/2018

Q: Our 17-year-old daughter wants to begin visiting colleges. She’s a high-school junior this year and this is when the college visitations begin. We’re feeling like the Grinches Who Stole...

Read More

Celebrate Son's Chosen Education, Career Path

Posted on 12/13/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old son made only slightly better than average grades in high school and finished in the top half of his graduating class. He could have done better, but has a history of...

Read More

Micromanaging Weakens Child's Success in School

Posted on 8/22/2017

Q: Our son attends first grade at the local public school. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were basically told that we are expected to go to the school’s parent website every...

Read More

Teen Using Pot Should Lose Car, Phone

Posted on 8/16/2017

Q: A few months after he got his driver’s license, we found a bag of marijuana in our 16-year-old son’s car. He swore it wasn’t his and that he didn’t know whose it was and that he’s never used...

Read More

Stay the Course With Rebellious Teen

Posted on 5/23/2017

Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...

Read More

Teenage Boys Need Healthy Adult Role Models

Posted on 5/3/2017

When my son, Eric, began showing interest in girls, I reflected back upon the foibles and fiascoes of my adolescence and promised myself he would be better prepared for datinghood. Undertaking...

Read More

Don't Fret About Teen Son With Average Grades

Posted on 4/18/2017

Q: Our 17-year-old son is an unmotivated student. A junior in high school, he is clearly capable of making straight A’s, but typically makes B’s and C’s. He plays on both the football and tennis...

Read More

Bring Back Vocational Education in High Schools

Posted on 4/11/2017

During my sophomore year at Proviso West High School in Hillside, Illinois, my guidance counselor, Mr. Gusloff, refused my request to take auto shop because I was, he said, college-bound and my...

Read More
View All Articles

Recent Questions

Leadership parenting is not always popular ...but worth it.

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi again! I asked a question about my now-17-year-old son a couple of months ago. I followed the advice given, as well as that in John's book about teens and as result, surprise surprise, my son...

Read More

Chore In-completion

Posted 2 weeks ago

Our son will not complete any chore he asked to do. He will start a chore, (cleaning fish tanks and cleaning horse stalls) after being told many times but he doesn't complete it thoroughly after...

Read More

Get everything in writing when it comes to loaning adult children money

Posted 3 weeks ago

Two and a half years ago my 37 year old daughter and her husband needed a car to move from New York to California since he had lost his job but had another in California. So I sold my daughter...

Read More

Living at home or on campus for rebellious teen?

Posted on 4/12/2018

Our eldest is my step-daughter and she is graduating high school in May, and beginning a university program in town in summer. She has planned to live on campus, but is now feeling anxious and...

Read More

Preparing for College

Posted on 4/11/2018

How can I prepare my son for college? I'm trying to pass more responsibility to him to help encourage him to become more independant and self sufficient.

Read More

Teen Depressed or Just a Normal Teen?

Posted on 4/2/2018

My 17yo daughter claims to be anxious and depressed due to lack of best friends. She was homeschooled until junior year, when she enrolled in the local community college full time. She's getting...

Read More

Lights Out for 16 Year Old?

Posted on 3/19/2018

Is it unreasonable to tell a 16-year-old boy he should have 'lights out' by 10:00? He works hard on school, despite not liking it, but often stays up until 1 or 2 a.m. doing homework or reading. ...

Read More

Two out of Three

Posted on 3/5/2018

My 9+ year old talks back to teachers and classmates, calls other students names, won't follow directions of teachers and refuses to do what he's been told (one teacher captured it perfectly...

Read More

Never too late to become a leader.

Posted on 2/20/2018

I have a 16-year-old son whom I have custody of 50% of the time. His father is very permissive and expects no chores. I am not and have expectations of household help. He consistently refuses,...

Read More

Drugs

Posted on 2/8/2018

My 16 year old has some very straight friends and some that are experimenting with drugs. I am suspicious all the time and have drug tested him which he has passed. The party house is across the...

Read More
View All Questions

Audio

Parenting the Strong Willed Teen Audio File

Posted on 1/8/2015

This is an entertaining and informative talk on understanding and managing even the most petulant of today’s teenagers. The talk was recorded live before an audience in San Diego, CA and is based...

Read More
View All Audio