Disobedience/Defiance

John's Most Recent Articles

What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?

Posted 2 weeks ago

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....

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Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

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Is This Battle Worth It?

Posted on 12/29/2021

Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...

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Time Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old

Posted on 12/21/2021

Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...

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Using the ‘Dry Run’ for Tantrums

Posted on 11/16/2021

Q: My almost four-year-old daughter is generally well-behaved except for screaming and running away from me when we leave a store, the library, etc. before she’s ready to go. She pulls away from...

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Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted on 5/18/2021

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

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Ear Infections and Misbehavior; Boundaries for Boys

Posted on 3/23/2021

Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s...

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The More You Try To Make Child Happy, the More Unhappy They Will Be

Posted on 1/19/2021

Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the...

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Advice for Preschool Teachers

Posted on 1/5/2021

Q: I teach 3- and 4-year-olds in a childcare center in Australia. I always have a few difficult children in any group and the book in which you describe Alpha Speech [The Well-Behaved Child] has...

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Leverage an End To Daughter's Defiance

Posted on 12/14/2020

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter desperately wants to begin wearing makeup, which all, and I mean all, of her classmates are allowed to do. We have held off not only because of our beliefs but also...

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Recent Questions

10-Year-Old Not Getting the Message

Posted 1 week ago

My ten-year-old son has recently been misbehaving at school with a friend. First, the teacher informed us that after the class was told not to play hide and seek inside the school building during...

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11 YO DISRESPECTS STEPMOTHER

Posted 2 weeks ago

My husband and I need help dealing with my 11 year old stepdaughter's disrespectful attitude towards us. I have been in her life for 6 years and this is an area that has been an issue the entire...

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Posted 4 weeks ago

.Our 16-year daughter is the last of three children. Our son is 29 and resides in South Africa with his wife. Our daughter, 20, has returned from college this summer. My husband believes in...

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Time for a Reboot

Posted on 5/18/2022

Since the first email our son (8yrs) was operated on for septic arthritis 6 months ago. The pain returned 2weeks ago (now gone). His hip bone has a small weakness and he needs to ensure he has no...

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Posted on 5/15/2022

My 3.5 year old thinks he is running the show. He is bossy, and doing insubordination and attention seeking behaviors. I read your books and he was an easy toddler. But dad I forgot to use alpha...

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Let 3-Year-Old Know You Mean Business!

Posted on 4/19/2022

My child is 3 and a half and has started talking back and hitting. Putting him in his room doesn't help. He comes right out. Suggestions?

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Fifteen-Year-Old Screen Addict

Posted on 4/18/2022

Our 15-year-old recently threw a fit, including punching, cursing and breaking things during the following incidents: 1) Took away make up after sneak purchase of $200 worth of make up without...

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Parents Need To Be on The Same Page

Posted on 4/14/2022

In order to apply garden kick, should both parents sit down with the child and go over all the consequences for breaking family rules? One issue with my daughter is phone, I had asked her phone...

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Exhausted and Longing for Peace

Posted on 4/4/2022

Discovering your books has put us on a new trajectory in our family after years of struggle with our "high misbehavior" 5 year old. For several months we've used the ticket system and "kicked him...

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8-Year-Old Needs the Ticket to Self Control

Posted on 4/4/2022

My 8-year-old has a severe temper. He is the third out of six children, and we are homeschooling the other five. He will spend a week at my mother's house and is calm there, but when he gets back...

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