"If; when your child does something "bad," you feel bad about it, your child won't. "

Disobedience/Defiance

John's Most Recent Articles

Is This Battle Worth It?

Posted 4 weeks ago

Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...

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Time Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old

Posted on 12/21/2021

Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...

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Using the ‘Dry Run’ for Tantrums

Posted on 11/16/2021

Q: My almost four-year-old daughter is generally well-behaved except for screaming and running away from me when we leave a store, the library, etc. before she’s ready to go. She pulls away from...

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Kids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting

Posted on 5/18/2021

No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...

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Ear Infections and Misbehavior; Boundaries for Boys

Posted on 3/23/2021

Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s...

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The More You Try To Make Child Happy, the More Unhappy They Will Be

Posted on 1/19/2021

Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the...

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Advice for Preschool Teachers

Posted on 1/5/2021

Q: I teach 3- and 4-year-olds in a childcare center in Australia. I always have a few difficult children in any group and the book in which you describe Alpha Speech [The Well-Behaved Child] has...

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Leverage an End To Daughter's Defiance

Posted on 12/14/2020

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter desperately wants to begin wearing makeup, which all, and I mean all, of her classmates are allowed to do. We have held off not only because of our beliefs but also...

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Moodiness Is Merely a Bad Emotional Habit

Posted on 10/27/2020

Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...

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Father's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed

Posted on 1/15/2020

Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...

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Recent Questions

You're in Charge Now

Posted 1 week ago

Okay so I’m ready to administer a discipline plan for my daughter. My questions are; 1. How much is too much? I’m ready to take a lot of her favorite things away. But, what about life...

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Silly Bedtime Brothers

Posted 1 week ago

Our older two boys, 5 and 7, go crazy at bedtime. They are silly, which is fine, but in being silly they make messes and are often disrespectful. After going to bed, we can hear them laughing and...

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Perfect time for a reset

Posted 1 week ago

Our 9yo girls currently rule the roost. They speak to us flippantly, complain constantly, whine and pester after receiving a "no" answer, expect others to fetch/carry for them, ignore directives...

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What to Say, What to Do?

Posted 3 weeks ago

How much to say of what we know? We randomly review our 15 year old daughter's school laptop. We just did so for the first time this school year a few days ago. We found screenshots of messages...

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Importance of Presenting a United Parenting Front

Posted 3 weeks ago

This may be a complicated question: I have a question about my and my husband's parenting styles. I come from a conservative background, my parents were old school and traditional. Lots of...

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Posted 4 weeks ago

We have an 8-year-old son who throws violent tantrums. He has always been “a handful” so these fits aren’t anything new, they’re less frequent but much more destructive. In the past, we had a...

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Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted 4 weeks ago

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

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Rocked His World

Posted on 12/15/2021

Hello. My husband and I have two kids, one 20-month old boy and one 2-month old girl. The younger one is an easy baby and the older one likes his baby sister (exhibited by kissing her all the...

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What to do when he says, "no"

Posted on 12/10/2021

Our third son is turning 3 in about a week. He has started saying "no" when we tell him to do something, and then runs away when we try to discipline him. We have been resorting to spanking...

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I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

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