Disobedience/Defiance

John's Most Recent Articles

Don't Turn Little Issues Into Big Problems

Posted on 4/11/2023

Q: My almost-3-year-old, when I begin to do something, will yell, “I WILL DO IT!” When it’s something he can do, fine, but if it’s not, then I just say, “No, Mommy will do it” and that’s the end...

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Don't Make Santa Claus Into a Boogie Man

Posted on 12/6/2022

Okay, stop it! Enough, already! I guess we need some rules around here, beginning and ending with, “Don’t make Santa Claus into a boogie man.” I know him personally and he’s the...

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Homeschool Discipline Problems

Posted on 9/6/2022

Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with...

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'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing

Posted on 8/23/2022

“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...

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Back Off on Daughter’s Eyeliner Use

Posted on 6/28/2022

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter is a rising high school sophomore. We let her wear eyeliner this past year, but she is wearing entirely too much. She is well-adjusted (plays sports, good grades) but...

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What Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?

Posted on 6/7/2022

Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....

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Kids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults

Posted on 3/22/2022

The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...

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Is This Battle Worth It?

Posted on 12/29/2021

Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...

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Time Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old

Posted on 12/21/2021

Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...

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Using the ‘Dry Run’ for Tantrums

Posted on 11/16/2021

Q: My almost four-year-old daughter is generally well-behaved except for screaming and running away from me when we leave a store, the library, etc. before she’s ready to go. She pulls away from...

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Recent Questions

Warts and All

Posted 4 days ago

My 6 year old son has some warts on his hands. He pitched a fit at the pediatric dermatologist today while getting his warts frozen off. He began screaming before the procedure even began. The...

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12 Year-Old Boy Won’t Accept “No”

Posted 4 weeks ago

We implemented a plan to help our 12 year old son learn the importance of keeping his room clean: He must keep it clean for ten days in order to order anything online, get a ride, etc. He did it...

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Discipline at home for behavior at school

Posted on 4/19/2023

We have already raised our 4 daughters, the youngest is 24. We are currently, for some incredible reasons, in our third month of fostering to adopt a young child. Things at home are slowly...

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Not getting his way head banger.

Posted on 3/16/2023

Hi, My 18 month old son will bang his head against me when I am carrying him if he is angry or does not get his way. For example after playing outside, I will announce it is time to go inside and...

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KIDS RUINING SPRING BREAK VACATION

Posted on 3/15/2023

We are on Spring Break and our kids have not been listening/obeying. Thus, we took away dinners out and got a babysitter and also removed their privilege of playing tennis because that was where...

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Unsolicited Advice?

Posted on 2/26/2023

Our son and daughter in law were telling us their 4 year old son (our grandson) hits his mom when he gets angry. She said she puts him in his room and he kicks and screams and throws a fit and...

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Progress isn't Linear

Posted on 2/16/2023

After a wonderful 2 hours of the morning, my son was sent to his room again around 8am for jumping on and scratching his dad while dad and the baby were on the couch. However, we had to go to a...

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Time to Turn the Tables on 4-Year-Old

Posted on 2/5/2023

My husband and I own and operate a private preschool. Our son is 4 1/2 years old is currently has been enrolled in our school since September 2021. Over the course of his enrollment, our son...

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A TYRANT IN THE MAKING

Posted on 1/23/2023

Any suggestions to tactfully tell your adult parenting children that they are making a monster out of their 4 year old by trying to coddle him at every snag in his day. They are using some...

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Attention-Getting Antics Working for 4YO

Posted on 1/12/2023

Our question is about punishment for our 4½ year old girl. Usually we ask her to stand in a circle on the floor, or we send her to her room for the rest of the night, or a fixed amount of time, no...

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Video

How to Get Your Kids to Obey (Webinar Recording)

Posted 2 weeks ago

In this webinar, John describes why obedience has become such a big problem over the past 50 years and gives a tried-and-true method for solving it. Run Time: 90 minutes Member Price:...

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