"Give your children regular doses of Vitamin "N," as in "No." "

Disobedience/Defiance

John's Most Recent Articles

The More You Try To Make Child Happy, the More Unhappy They Will Be

Posted on 1/19/2021

Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the...

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Advice for Preschool Teachers

Posted on 1/5/2021

Q: I teach 3- and 4-year-olds in a childcare center in Australia. I always have a few difficult children in any group and the book in which you describe Alpha Speech [The Well-Behaved Child] has...

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Leverage an End To Daughter's Defiance

Posted on 12/14/2020

Q: Our 14-year-old daughter desperately wants to begin wearing makeup, which all, and I mean all, of her classmates are allowed to do. We have held off not only because of our beliefs but also...

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Moodiness Is Merely a Bad Emotional Habit

Posted on 10/27/2020

Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...

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Father's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed

Posted on 1/15/2020

Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...

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Tame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers

Posted on 12/3/2019

Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...

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Simple Solutions for Teens, Tantrums and Smartphones

Posted on 12/4/2018

Q: Our 15-year-old daughter is very demanding and, to be honest, self-centered. One of the things she does is ask one of us for something and demand an instant decision, as in, “Can I go to the...

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Make 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted on 10/16/2018

When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...

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Authoritative Attitude Is Key to Discipline

Posted on 5/2/2018

Q: We are having no success getting our 3-year-old (her third birthday is in a couple of weeks) to do what we tell her to do. She defies us at every opportunity, whether it’s just ignoring us or...

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Don't Tolerate Sassy Behavior

Posted on 11/15/2017

Q: Our 8-year-old has suddenly developed a very sassy mouth. She picked this up from a new neighborhood friend who speaks to her mother in a very disrespectful tone, like she’s the girl’s...

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Recent Questions

Teen Boy Not So Sneaky

Posted 1 week ago

My teenage son keeps sneaking food and disobeying. He isn't allowed to eat in his room, yet he sneaks food in there fairly often. We just found a jar of brown sugar with a spoon in it. He has...

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Am I doing to much?

Posted 2 weeks ago

I have 3 children, soon to be 5, soon to be 4, soon to be 2. I have begun implementing alpha speech and tickets within the last month. I am still using the "offense" to lose tickets as not...

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When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted 2 weeks ago

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

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Agony Principle explained

Posted 3 weeks ago

My husband and I are so encouraged by the information we are reading in your book "The Well Disciplined Child". Could you elaborate on the Agony Principle in regards to confining our 7 year old...

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5th Grader Returning to Bad Habits

Posted 1 month ago

My son is in the 5th grade and hasn’t been completing any of his school work. We grounded him for a month. We took away everything away besides a few outfits and he was to stay in his room except...

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Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted 1 month, 1 day ago

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

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Foster Child Struggles With Sleep

Posted on 1/29/2021

I have a 6 yr old foster child who comes out of his bedroom 20-30 or more a night. He refuses to stay in his room. We have tried all kinds of consequences and nothing seems to work. He even laughs...

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Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

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Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

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It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

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