"Children need parents who know where they stand as well as where they want their children to stand. "

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John's Most Recent Articles

How To Help Your Child Get More Grit

Posted on 9/7/2021

It’s all over the web, that “grit” thing. Seems like every day, I get some promo for a webinar on how to get more grit, project more grit, or get in touch with your inner grit. So, allow me to...

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The Futility of Reasoning With Children

Posted on 5/4/2021

Many if not most if not almost all of today’s parents believe in magic words. They do so because the mental health professional community has for fifty years or so told them that children can be...

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The Greatest and Most Painful of Gifts

Posted on 6/2/2020

In 1972, a Stanford University psychologist conducted a study in which young children, individually, were offered either a small but immediate reward (a marshmallow or a pretzel) or a doubled...

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The Value of a Reward

Posted on 5/19/2020

Psychologist B. F. Skinner, the formulator of behavior modification theory, was attempting to prove that the same principles that govern the behavior of amoeba, planaria, rats, dogs, and monkeys...

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Recent Questions

The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory--Part 2

Posted on 5/19/2021

Hi, I am submitting a follow-up response in regard to my question from 5/6/21 entitled "The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory". This was answered by Mike Smart. Thank you for your...

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Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

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The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory

Posted on 5/6/2021

My 3.5 year old daughter is having issues at Preschool and nothing we do seems to help. She will have days where her behavior is good and then other days she gets in trouble (throwing things,...

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Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

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Helping Kids Develop Good Habits Without Nagging

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old has a habit of leaving lights on when he leaves the room, leaving the toilet seat up, not flushing the toilet chain, leaving rubbish out, not putting his laundry in basket etc. How...

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7 year old craving constant attention

Posted on 4/14/2020

My 7 year old struggles to play by himself. He wants me to play with him all the time. For example he is always complaining he cannot find a Lego piece before he has actually looked, he needs help...

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2 Year Old Doesn't Respond When Name Is Called

Posted on 2/6/2020

My 2-year-old does not respond to his name at all 99% of the time when he is called. He doesn't even glance in my direction. We have had his hearing tested (it is normal) and we're pretty sure...

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When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

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End Micromanagement of Grades by Lowering the Boom

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have two sons (13 and 14 years old) and one step son (12 years old). They've gone to a Christian school their whole lives and are all saved. My issue is with my 13 year old. He is very smart as...

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Dinner Time Battle of the Wills

Posted on 9/16/2019

My 3 year old daughter has developed a bad habit at dinner time. Although she’s usually pretty good to try new foods, every now and then she will - for some unknown reason - hold a bite of food in...

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