John's Articles
Youth Sports Drive Adults Crazy
Posted on 6/6/2023
My family moved to Westchester, Illinois, in 1956, where I began fourth grade at High Ridge School. At the time, my athletic skills consisted of catching and throwing a baseball. The kids in my...
Read MoreWhy Hanna Sleeps With Us
Posted on 5/9/2023
My wife, Willie (nee Wilma), and I are the happy caretakers of a happy seventeen-month-old pure white toy schnauzer, Hanna. Hanna occupies the center of our attention. If you spent a day in our...
Read MoreDaughter Worries About Getting Sick Again
Posted on 4/18/2023
Q: Our 7-year-old daughter recently had a short-lived stomach virus. Ever since she has been fearful that eating may make her sick. Every night at dinner she becomes concerned that she’s...
Read MoreSchool Principal Asks About Discipline
Posted on 10/25/2022
Q: I am a principal at a private church-affiliated school. Contrary to my graduate school training and most of my peers’ practice, I believe disciplinary actions should "fit the crime."...
Read MoreWhen It Comes to Your Child’s Education, You Know Better Than Them
Posted on 9/14/2022
Q: I have homeschooled my seventh-grade daughter on and off through elementary school. This school year, I began homeschooling her, but she’s now telling me she wants to go to “real”...
Read MoreHomeschool Discipline Problems
Posted on 9/6/2022
Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with...
Read MoreA 3-Point Plan to Get Kids to Do Their Own Homework
Posted on 8/16/2022
Q: The school our 10-year-old daughter attends believes parents should micromanage homework sessions – they call it “being a homework buddy.” As a consequence, our daughter believes we...
Read MoreShould I Tell My Best Friend to Discipline Her Bratty, Bossy Daughter?
Posted on 5/17/2022
Q: My best friend’s 6-year-old daughter is an only child and a spoiled brat. She screams at her parents when she doesn’t get her way, always wants to be first at everything and is extremely bossy...
Read MoreDiscipline Differences Between Divorced Parents
Posted on 5/10/2022
Q: We see my husband's 9-year-old son every other weekend and two weeks in the summer. He has major issues in school with both behavior and doing his work. He's well behaved when he's with us, but...
Read MoreDon’t Just ‘Settle’ Dispute, Solve It
Posted on 5/3/2022
Q: Our sons are six and four. When their same-age cousins, come over, they all go down into our basement to play. Invariably, within thirty minutes my youngest comes upstairs crying because his...
Read MoreOn Chores, Discipline, Potty-Training
Posted on 3/29/2022
Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter a chore, she does it, but all the while she is muttering under her breath, huffing and puffing, and so on. Do I discipline that behavior or just let her...
Read MoreIn Defense of ‘Because I Said So'
Posted on 2/1/2022
Q: Concerning chores, another expert recommends giving a child a certain number of chips, like poker chips, every month and if he or she fails to do a chore or doesn’t do it properly, you take a...
Read MoreTime Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old
Posted on 12/21/2021
Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...
Read MoreThe Biggest Problem Teachers Face Is Parents
Posted on 7/13/2021
When I ask a teacher, “What is the biggest problem you face?” the answer – there has never been an exception – is “parents.” That is certainly a recent phenomenon. My parents were...
Read MoreMicromanaging Child Always Produces Conflicts
Posted on 2/23/2021
A therapist takes a 10-year-old boy into what she calls “therapy.” The young fellow is belligerently defiant toward his parents and throws titanic tantrums when things don’t go his way. At school...
Read MoreBeware of 'The Protocol'
Posted on 12/29/2020
Q: Our son is seven years old and in the second grade. His school went virtual this past Spring and we see no end to it, not in the near term at least. When he was going to a brick-and-mortar...
Read MoreParents Can Recover From Not Getting Over the 'Hump of Parenting'
Posted on 10/20/2020
Q: In a recent column, you identified toddlerhood as “the hump of parenting.” As a grandmother who managed to raise five kids who were out of the house in their early twenties and are responsible...
Read MoreHelping a Child Worried About Death
Posted on 8/18/2020
Q: We have a five-year-old who obsesses about dying. This has been going on for six months, ever since a child in the neighborhood died of a congenital genetic condition. Our son knew the boy and...
Read MoreTime to Shake Things up When It Comes to Your Child's Education
Posted on 8/11/2020
Q: Our nine-year-old has just learned he is not going back to school on schedule in the fall. Instead, he will be doing distance learning by computer and home instruction. We had to do this for...
Read MoreDon’t Jump Down the ADHD Rabbit Hole With 8-Year-Old
Posted on 6/23/2020
Q: Our son, age 8, has been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. His IQ is well above average but his actual performance in the classroom is problematic. He has difficulty paying attention...
Read MoreWhy Small Classrooms Are Overrated
Posted on 5/5/2020
No rational person would argue that the smaller the class size, the better, right?” asked the radio talk show host. “I think I’m a rational person,” I said, “and I can offer proof...
Read MoreIn Defense of Homeschooling
Posted on 4/28/2020
In his November 1863 address at Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that the men who lost their lives on that battlefield had done so in order that “government of the people, by the people and...
Read MoreFather's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed
Posted on 1/15/2020
Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...
Read MoreTame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers
Posted on 12/3/2019
Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...
Read MoreIt Is Not Necessary to Help Your Child With Homework
Posted on 11/26/2019
After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?” That not one man asked the question...
Read MoreIn Today's Parenting, Feelings Trump the Truth
Posted on 11/19/2019
Okay, it’s time to set the record straight, confront the gorilla in the proverbial room, call a spade a spade, and so on and so forth. I recently published a column on “The...
Read MoreChildren Do Best in School When Parents Do Not Monitor Progress
Posted on 10/29/2019
The Portal. It sounds like something out of a science fiction novel, the gateway to an alternative universe that lures, then traps the unwary in its nefarious web of illusion, where things are...
Read MorePlaying War Games Not Unusual for Young Boys
Posted on 10/22/2019
Q: My normally happy 6-year-old son has recently started incorporating death and war-like games into his imaginative play. He isn't and has never been a mean-spirited child, but his dad and I just...
Read MoreSchool Discipline in Steady Decline
Posted on 2/12/2019
I receive a steady stream of missives from teachers, ex-teachers, and other folks who have insider knowledge of America’s schools. They all say the same thing – classroom discipline is falling...
Read MorePublic Education Myths and Facts
Posted on 2/6/2019
As regards nearly every public policy topic these days, myths abound, but few mythologies rival that of public education. A sample: <b>Myth: Smaller classrooms promote better...
Read MoreLet Your School-Aged Kids Dress Themselves
Posted on 1/9/2019
“So, anyway, after they take showers I lay out their school clothes for the next day. And then….” “Hold on right there,” “How old are your girls again?” “Um,...
Read More9-Year-Old Daughter Says She Doesn't Like School
Posted on 11/28/2018
Q: Our 9-year-old daughter recently announced to us that she doesn’t like school, doesn’t want to go, and doesn’t want to do the work. We’ve been unable to get a coherent reason out of her and...
Read MoreMake 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse
Posted on 10/16/2018
When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...
Read MoreWhat's a Young Teacher to Do About Discipline?
Posted on 9/4/2018
As another school year begins, one of many pertinent questions is “Has the per child or per-teacher (it doesn’t matter) rate of verbal and emotional abuse by teachers on students increased...
Read MoreParents, Stop Trying to Referee Kids' Fights
Posted on 6/27/2018
Q: We have a boy, 6, and a girl, 9, who fight constantly about everything under the sun. My husband and I have a good marriage. We hardly ever have a serious disagreement about anything, so it’s...
Read MoreDon’t Go Down the Road of ADHD Testing
Posted on 4/17/2018
Q: Our son, age 8, did fine in school in first grade, but has struggled in second. We’ve taken your advice and not helped much with his homework other than occasional and brief “consultations.”...
Read MoreWeighing the Options of Repeating Kindergarten
Posted on 3/28/2018
Q: Even though he had an early-August birthday, we started our son in Kindergarten this past Fall at a private Christian school. They did some testing prior to the start of the school year and...
Read MoreDon't Tolerate Sassy Behavior
Posted on 11/15/2017
Q: Our 8-year-old has suddenly developed a very sassy mouth. She picked this up from a new neighborhood friend who speaks to her mother in a very disrespectful tone, like she’s the girl’s...
Read MoreMicromanaging Weakens Child's Success in School
Posted on 8/22/2017
Q: Our son attends first grade at the local public school. At the beginning of the school year, all the parents were basically told that we are expected to go to the school’s parent website every...
Read MorePut a Lid on Materialistic Excess for Kid With Sticky Fingers
Posted on 7/19/2017
Q: We’ve just been informed that our 7-year-old son has been effectively “expelled” from the private school he attended last year because of repeated instances of stealing small items from...
Read MoreDo Your Homework Before Choosing a School
Posted on 5/30/2017
Q: We have just moved and are seeking a new school for our two children – 6- and 8-year-old boys. They are smart, respectful of adults, and creative. We know that sounds like typical bragging, but...
Read MoreDo Classroom Reward Systems Undermine Parental Authority?
Posted on 5/18/2017
<b>Q. My daughter's kindergarten teacher is using a reward system to manage classroom behavior. Children earn smiley faces for good behavior and can trade them in for prizes at the end of the...
Read MoreWhat to Do About a Poor Report Card
Posted on 1/24/2017
<i><b>How to transform bad grades into a learning experience -- and into better results.</b></i> When your child brings home disappointing grades, don't panic, and don't lose your cool. Studies...
Read MoreComfort, Not Counseling, Is the Treatment for Nightmares
Posted on 12/21/2016
Q: Our 5-year-old has suddenly started waking up with nightmares. He's not able to describe them with any clarity, however, so we don't know what the content of them is. The most he's able to...
Read MoreParent Help With Homework Is a Generally Bad Thing
Posted on 9/13/2016
Amanda Johnson, a second-grade teacher in Laramie, Wyoming, has caused quite a stir both among her colleagues and constituents and—because her educational incorrectness was covered by national...
Read MoreSelecting the Right Private School
Posted on 8/16/2016
Q: We are looking for a private school for our 4-year-old. Regardless of the school we ultimately choose, we want to keep him there through eighth grade at least. We live in an suburban area so...
Read MoreMedicine Doesn't Cure Misbehavior
Posted on 7/26/2016
Q: Our son is a rising second-grader at a private school. Last year, his behavior was often disruptive and sometimes even downright defiant—problems his first grade teacher did not have with him....
Read MoreHave a Game Plan for Daughter's Anxiety
Posted on 6/28/2016
Q: My 8-year-old daughter is having anxiety issues that seem to border on obsessive-compulsive disorder. She wants me to repeat certain things back to her and has a set routine of things I must...
Read MoreDon't Micromanage Homeschooled Children
Posted on 5/17/2016
Q: I homeschool my three children, ages are 8, 6, and 5. The older two have a very poor attitude about doing school, especially math, and the younger one is starting to pick up on it. Their poor...
Read MoreDon't Turn Bedtime Fears Into a Disciplinary Issue
Posted on 4/5/2016
Q: My 6-year-old daughter watched too many episodes of a certain TV show when she was sick and now she doesn't want to go to sleep at night because she is having scary thoughts related to the...
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