John's Articles
Homeschool Discipline Problems
Posted 3 weeks ago
Q: Ever since toddlerhood, we have had significant behavior problems with our 6-year-old son—defiance and general disrespect, mostly. We have tried various disciplinary approaches with...
Read More'Parenting' vs. Child-Rearing
Posted on 8/23/2022
“The goal of parenting is not to control, coerce or punish children into being ‘good.’ The goal of parenting is to grow children who can feel all of their feelings and become empathic...
Read MoreBack Off on Daughter’s Eyeliner Use
Posted on 6/28/2022
Q: Our 14-year-old daughter is a rising high school sophomore. We let her wear eyeliner this past year, but she is wearing entirely too much. She is well-adjusted (plays sports, good grades) but...
Read MoreWhat Should Single Mom Do About Disrespectful Son?
Posted on 6/7/2022
Q: I’m a single mother with a 13-year-old son. His father, whom he sees infrequently, has PTSD from battle experiences. My son has anger toward his father, but I can’t get him to talk about it....
Read MoreKids Need Parents Who Are Authentic Adults
Posted on 3/22/2022
The contemporary parenting ideal consists of equal parts fixer, go-fer, and friend, which is why, when it is encountered in the flesh by someone of my ancient age, the new definition of a “good...
Read MoreIs This Battle Worth It?
Posted on 12/29/2021
Q: I have six-month- and thirty-two-month-old boys. The older one—well-mannered, easy going, very affectionate—attends a preschool program three mornings a week. This is his second year there. ...
Read MoreTime Out for Disrespectful 6-Year-old
Posted on 12/21/2021
Q: Whenever—and I most definitely mean every single time—I ask my six-year-old daughter to do something, she becomes very disrespectful. She stomps her foot, yells at me that I make her do...
Read MoreUsing the ‘Dry Run’ for Tantrums
Posted on 11/16/2021
Q: My almost four-year-old daughter is generally well-behaved except for screaming and running away from me when we leave a store, the library, etc. before she’s ready to go. She pulls away from...
Read MoreKids Don’t Need Curing, They Need Correcting
Posted on 5/18/2021
No small number of today’s parents view their children through psychological lenses, especially when it comes to misbehavior. Instead of regarding a given misbehavior as simply an error that needs...
Read MoreEar Infections and Misbehavior; Boundaries for Boys
Posted on 3/23/2021
Q: My three-year-old is prone to ear infections. When he has one, his behavior deteriorates considerably. He becomes disobedient and given to angry outbursts. When his ears are clear, he’s...
Read MoreThe More You Try To Make Child Happy, the More Unhappy They Will Be
Posted on 1/19/2021
Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the...
Read MoreAdvice for Preschool Teachers
Posted on 1/5/2021
Q: I teach 3- and 4-year-olds in a childcare center in Australia. I always have a few difficult children in any group and the book in which you describe Alpha Speech [The Well-Behaved Child] has...
Read MoreLeverage an End To Daughter's Defiance
Posted on 12/14/2020
Q: Our 14-year-old daughter desperately wants to begin wearing makeup, which all, and I mean all, of her classmates are allowed to do. We have held off not only because of our beliefs but also...
Read MoreMoodiness Is Merely a Bad Emotional Habit
Posted on 10/27/2020
Living with an emotionally dramatic child is no fun. They throw wet blankets over nearly every family gathering or outing. Little is right in their lives and attempts to cheer them up generally...
Read MoreFather's Visitation With Child Should Be Allowed
Posted on 1/15/2020
Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...
Read MoreTame Child's Disruptive Behavior at Holiday Get-Togethers
Posted on 12/3/2019
Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...
Read MoreSimple Solutions for Teens, Tantrums and Smartphones
Posted on 12/4/2018
Q: Our 15-year-old daughter is very demanding and, to be honest, self-centered. One of the things she does is ask one of us for something and demand an instant decision, as in, “Can I go to the...
Read MoreMake 'Em an Offer They Can't Refuse
Posted on 10/16/2018
When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...
Read MoreAuthoritative Attitude Is Key to Discipline
Posted on 5/2/2018
Q: We are having no success getting our 3-year-old (her third birthday is in a couple of weeks) to do what we tell her to do. She defies us at every opportunity, whether it’s just ignoring us or...
Read MoreDon't Tolerate Sassy Behavior
Posted on 11/15/2017
Q: Our 8-year-old has suddenly developed a very sassy mouth. She picked this up from a new neighborhood friend who speaks to her mother in a very disrespectful tone, like she’s the girl’s...
Read MoreAmerica Needs a Parenting Retro-Revolution
Posted on 6/21/2017
I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...
Read MoreStay the Course With Rebellious Teen
Posted on 5/23/2017
Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...
Read MoreKids Are Happiest When Obedient
Posted on 4/25/2017
Q: I’ve read enough of your writings to know that you believe children should be obedient, that they should do what they are told. I want my children to think for themselves and to question...
Read MoreMedicine Doesn't Cure Misbehavior
Posted on 7/26/2016
Q: Our son is a rising second-grader at a private school. Last year, his behavior was often disruptive and sometimes even downright defiant—problems his first grade teacher did not have with him....
Read MoreCustody Issue: Teen Acts Aggressively Towards Mother
Posted on 1/12/2016
Q: My ex-husband and I have pretty much fifty-fifty custody of our 15-year-old son, who has become infected with his father’s disrespect for me. When he’s with me, he makes it very clear that he...
Read MoreUse Proper Authority with Teens
Posted on 4/21/2015
Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Q: Our son is going to be 13 next year and we’re trying to be proactive about the coming storm. He’s been a good kid and relatively easy to raise to...
Read MoreAlarming Trends
Posted on 3/3/2015
In the 1960s, child and teen mental health and behavior problems began an alarming rise that has continued to the present. In 1970, one of my grad school professors proposed that this trend could...
Read More"The Doctor" Makes House Calls
Posted on 4/28/2014
Shortly after I finished graduate school, a friend of mine shared with me a book called Indirect Hypnosis, written by Milton Erickson, a most unorthodox psychiatrist if ever there was one....
Read MoreThe "Hang in There Principle"
Posted on 11/26/2013
Q: My 11-year-old son cuts corners on everything. If he does a chore, he'll leave the cleaning products behind. If his bed his hard to make he hides the sheet in the closet and throws the blanket...
Read MoreKicking Out of the Garden of Eden [Explained]
Posted on 10/6/2013
Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...
Read MoreDiscipline Problems
Posted on 10/1/2013
Most parents describe discipline problems as if they are "coming out" of their kids, that the problems in question reveal facets of their kids' personalities-things like "strong-willed."...
Read MoreLast Chance for Major Change
Posted on 2/5/2013
Q: Our 17-year-old is a highly spoiled underachiever. As a junior in high school, he's failing two classes and borderline in the rest. We know that his problems are largely due to our parenting...
Read MoreNine year old Refuses to go to her room
Posted on 1/15/2013
Q: What should I do when my 9-year-old daughter loses all of her privileges because of her misbehavior but refuses to go to her room? I tried to physically force her, but she put up too much of a...
Read MoreRespect Requires Boundaries
Posted on 9/13/2011
Turn back the clock to get respect Why do today's parents have more problems with obedience than their grandparents thought possible? Since obedience requires that a child (a) clearly and...
Read More3-Year-Old Girl Disruptive Behavior
Posted on 6/28/2011
Discipline bad behavior - don't psychoanalyze it Q. About a year ago, my husband and I underwent a major move with our 3-year-old. Six months later, I gave birth to twins. Needless to say, our...
Read More4-Year-Old Girl - Using Ticket Method for Improved Behavior
Posted on 6/21/2011
Stick with the tickets and stay on track Q: Using the "ticket method" you have described, I began my 4-year-old daughter's rehabilitation program this week. When she loses all five of her...
Read More8-Year-Old Girl Not Completing Chores
Posted on 5/24/2011
Let children know you mean business Q: Our 8-year-old daughter has not been completing chores and following directions. On the morning of a recent soccer game, she failed to follow some simple...
Read More16-Year-Old Boy Disrespecting Parents
Posted on 5/17/2011
Behind their backs Q: Our 16-year-old son is respectful to our faces. He does what he is told and is generally a good kid. On a number of occasions, I have overheard him speaking with his...
Read MoreTeen-age Boys Restrictions
Posted on 5/17/2011
Easing restrictions Q: Because of some grade problems, our two teenage boys were told to stay on campus for lunch in order to catch up on their studying. We found a suspicious receipt, so we...
Read More4-Year-Old Girl Disobedient Around Friend
Posted on 5/10/2011
Ill-behaved child = thoughtless parents Q. Our 4-year-old is fairly well-behaved, but her best friend is definitely not. We just got back from a weekend trip with that family, and I was...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Neediness
Posted on 4/5/2011
I'm-growing-up list for neediness Q: My daughter, who is 5, relies on me far too much. All through the day, she asks me to do simple things for her like get her a glass of water or help her put...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Disobedience
Posted on 1/25/2011
Sassy obedience Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter an instruction of some sort or other, she does what I tell her to do, but not without some amount of "lip." She'll mutter under her breath...
Read MoreThird Grade Boy Defiant and Lazy
Posted on 11/16/2010
This 'laziness' may be a clever form of defiance In their e-mail to me, his parents call him "The Laziest Kid in America." The child in question, a third-grader, hides his clothes rather than...
Read More12-Year-Old Girl Tone of Voice
Posted on 9/7/2010
Child's requests drip with coating of attitude Q: "It's how you say it." I've preached this consistently for years with no improvement. My 12-year-old will ask me a question or ask me to help...
Read More5-Year-Old Boy Refuses To Be In School Play
Posted on 5/11/2010
Skip the drama on kid's theatrics Q: Our normally very obedient 5-year-old son flat out refuses to get on stage and sing at his preschool's musical. At last year's musical, he made a huge scene...
Read More3-Year-Old Boy Disrespectful Actions
Posted on 3/30/2010
Don't overreact to toddler's actions Defiant words don't signal problem, unless parent turns it into one. Q. My almost-3-year-old has started saying things to me that border on...
Read More18-Year-Old Girl's Body Piercing
Posted on 1/19/2010
LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES TO WIN TEEN WAR I'm painfully aware that because I have a deserved reputation for taking a "no nonsense" approach to discipline, I am generally expected to always...
Read MoreBoundaries Make for Happy Kids and Parents
Posted on 12/15/2009
BOUNDARIES MAKE FOR HAPPY KIDS AND PARENTS I have long maintained that the happiest kids are also well-behaved and vice versa. That assertion is supported by common sense as well as research...
Read MoreConsequence Needs to Produce Permanent Memory for 6-Year-Old Tantrum
Posted on 9/29/2009
ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...
Read MoreBack-To-School Tips for Parents
Posted on 9/8/2009
BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIPS FOR PARENTS Several teachers asked if I would reprint a column that first appeared about 10 years ago. The subject is my five top back-to-school tips for parents. Before...
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