Posted on 1/15/2020
Q: Our ten-year-old granddaughter lives with us. We have custody of her but her father, our son, is now asking us for visitation privileges. I probably don’t need to tell you that both he and his...
Read MorePosted on 12/3/2019
Q: I’m already dreading the holidays. Our eight-year-old is a very excitable child and our family is expected to attend numerous holiday get-togethers at the homes of family members. When he’s...
Read MorePosted on 12/4/2018
Q: Our 15-year-old daughter is very demanding and, to be honest, self-centered. One of the things she does is ask one of us for something and demand an instant decision, as in, “Can I go to the...
Read MorePosted on 10/16/2018
When I was a child, my most important possession was my bicycle, followed closely by my radio. My bike was how I got around. I rode it to school, friend’s houses, pick-up...
Read MorePosted on 5/2/2018
Q: We are having no success getting our 3-year-old (her third birthday is in a couple of weeks) to do what we tell her to do. She defies us at every opportunity, whether it’s just ignoring us or...
Read MorePosted on 11/15/2017
Q: Our 8-year-old has suddenly developed a very sassy mouth. She picked this up from a new neighborhood friend who speaks to her mother in a very disrespectful tone, like she’s the girl’s...
Read MorePosted on 6/21/2017
I was honored to be a guest on my good friend Dennis Prager’s syndicated radio program the other day and as anyone who is familiar with my point-of-view on parenting matters will appreciate, much...
Read MorePosted on 5/23/2017
Q: Our 18-year-old daughter is a month away from high school graduation and she is failing nearly every class! About six months ago, she took up with a group of young adults who are less than...
Read MorePosted on 4/25/2017
Q: I’ve read enough of your writings to know that you believe children should be obedient, that they should do what they are told. I want my children to think for themselves and to question...
Read MorePosted on 7/26/2016
Q: Our son is a rising second-grader at a private school. Last year, his behavior was often disruptive and sometimes even downright defiant—problems his first grade teacher did not have with him....
Read MorePosted on 1/12/2016
Q: My ex-husband and I have pretty much fifty-fifty custody of our 15-year-old son, who has become infected with his father’s disrespect for me. When he’s with me, he makes it very clear that he...
Read MorePosted on 4/21/2015
Copyright 2015, John K. Rosemond Q: Our son is going to be 13 next year and we’re trying to be proactive about the coming storm. He’s been a good kid and relatively easy to raise to...
Read MorePosted on 3/3/2015
In the 1960s, child and teen mental health and behavior problems began an alarming rise that has continued to the present. In 1970, one of my grad school professors proposed that this trend could...
Read MorePosted on 4/28/2014
Shortly after I finished graduate school, a friend of mine shared with me a book called Indirect Hypnosis, written by Milton Erickson, a most unorthodox psychiatrist if ever there was one....
Read MorePosted on 11/26/2013
Q: My 11-year-old son cuts corners on everything. If he does a chore, he'll leave the cleaning products behind. If his bed his hard to make he hides the sheet in the closet and throws the blanket...
Read MorePosted on 10/6/2013
Kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden John's "Garden of Eden" statement: Other Q and A or articles about this method may be searched by using the keyword "Garden" Below is detailed...
Read MorePosted on 10/1/2013
Most parents describe discipline problems as if they are "coming out" of their kids, that the problems in question reveal facets of their kids' personalities-things like "strong-willed."...
Read MorePosted on 2/5/2013
Q: Our 17-year-old is a highly spoiled underachiever. As a junior in high school, he's failing two classes and borderline in the rest. We know that his problems are largely due to our parenting...
Read MorePosted on 1/15/2013
Q: What should I do when my 9-year-old daughter loses all of her privileges because of her misbehavior but refuses to go to her room? I tried to physically force her, but she put up too much of a...
Read MorePosted on 9/13/2011
Turn back the clock to get respect Why do today's parents have more problems with obedience than their grandparents thought possible? Since obedience requires that a child (a) clearly and...
Read MorePosted on 6/28/2011
Discipline bad behavior - don't psychoanalyze it Q. About a year ago, my husband and I underwent a major move with our 3-year-old. Six months later, I gave birth to twins. Needless to say, our...
Read MorePosted on 6/21/2011
Stick with the tickets and stay on track Q: Using the "ticket method" you have described, I began my 4-year-old daughter's rehabilitation program this week. When she loses all five of her...
Read MorePosted on 5/24/2011
Let children know you mean business Q: Our 8-year-old daughter has not been completing chores and following directions. On the morning of a recent soccer game, she failed to follow some simple...
Read MorePosted on 5/17/2011
Behind their backs Q: Our 16-year-old son is respectful to our faces. He does what he is told and is generally a good kid. On a number of occasions, I have overheard him speaking with his...
Read MorePosted on 5/17/2011
Easing restrictions Q: Because of some grade problems, our two teenage boys were told to stay on campus for lunch in order to catch up on their studying. We found a suspicious receipt, so we...
Read MorePosted on 5/10/2011
Ill-behaved child = thoughtless parents Q. Our 4-year-old is fairly well-behaved, but her best friend is definitely not. We just got back from a weekend trip with that family, and I was...
Read MorePosted on 4/5/2011
I'm-growing-up list for neediness Q: My daughter, who is 5, relies on me far too much. All through the day, she asks me to do simple things for her like get her a glass of water or help her put...
Read MorePosted on 1/25/2011
Sassy obedience Q: When I give my 5-year-old daughter an instruction of some sort or other, she does what I tell her to do, but not without some amount of "lip." She'll mutter under her breath...
Read MorePosted on 11/16/2010
This 'laziness' may be a clever form of defiance In their e-mail to me, his parents call him "The Laziest Kid in America." The child in question, a third-grader, hides his clothes rather than...
Read MorePosted on 9/7/2010
Child's requests drip with coating of attitude Q: "It's how you say it." I've preached this consistently for years with no improvement. My 12-year-old will ask me a question or ask me to help...
Read MorePosted on 5/11/2010
Skip the drama on kid's theatrics Q: Our normally very obedient 5-year-old son flat out refuses to get on stage and sing at his preschool's musical. At last year's musical, he made a huge scene...
Read MorePosted on 3/30/2010
Don't overreact to toddler's actions Defiant words don't signal problem, unless parent turns it into one. Q. My almost-3-year-old has started saying things to me that border on...
Read MorePosted on 1/19/2010
LEARN TO PICK YOUR BATTLES TO WIN TEEN WAR I'm painfully aware that because I have a deserved reputation for taking a "no nonsense" approach to discipline, I am generally expected to always...
Read MorePosted on 12/15/2009
BOUNDARIES MAKE FOR HAPPY KIDS AND PARENTS I have long maintained that the happiest kids are also well-behaved and vice versa. That assertion is supported by common sense as well as research...
Read MorePosted on 9/29/2009
ISSUING CONSEQUENCES EQUALS WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN From the Mailbag: A Charlotte woman writes to the Observer that I should get out in the real world more and meet the "mothers and fathers of...
Read MorePosted on 9/8/2009
BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIPS FOR PARENTS Several teachers asked if I would reprint a column that first appeared about 10 years ago. The subject is my five top back-to-school tips for parents. Before...
Read MorePosted on 9/23/2008
BY OBEYING, SHE SHOWS HER LOVE Another creative mother reports that immediately after her fifth birthday, her daughter came down with oppositional defiant disorder. One morning, in the midst of...
Read MorePosted on 7/22/2008
TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...
Read MorePosted on 5/27/2008
PARENTS, YOU MIGHT BE USED TO YOUR WILD CHILD; WE AREN'T It is a sign of these postmodern times that a simple, straightforward bit of seemingly innocuous news can turn quickly into a...
Read MorePosted on 4/1/2008
CRYING AT RESTAURANTS IS TOUGH BEHAVIOR TO CHANGE, SO EAT IN Q. How should I handle an 18-month-old who cries at a restaurant because he wants out of his high chair to sit with me or someone...
Read MorePosted on 3/11/2008
Defiant 18-year-old Q. We have a son who just turned 18 (but is still a junior in high school) and a 14-year-old freshman daughter. While my husband and I were away, our son went to visit his...
Read MorePosted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read MorePosted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read MorePosted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read MorePosted on 1/22/2008
ACT YOUR AGE, OR IT'S PARADISE LOST Q. We recently kicked our 6-year-old out of the Garden of Eden for constant whining, frequent tantrums, running away in stores, and other behaviors typical...
Read MorePosted on 12/25/2007
IS 5-YEAR-OLD MANIPULATIVE? NOT REALLY - SHE'S JUST CURIOUS EDITOR'S NOTE: John Rosemond is on vacation. This column first appeared in 1985. Of all the myths associated with children and...
Read MorePosted on 11/6/2007
Q: My boys are 7 and 2. I have always been an "I tell you once" type of mom, which is how my mother raised me. Ironically, when I try to discipline my kids when my mom is around, she becomes very...
Read MorePosted on 10/30/2007
ARE BRAIN CHEMICALS TO BLAME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD'S BAD BEHAVIOR? Recently the parents of a 6-year-old boy asked my advice concerning his daily, sometimes violent tantrums which had been ongoing...
Read MorePosted on 6/12/2007
NO SUCH THING AS A PROBLEM-FREE CHILD It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure that a child enters adulthood problem-free. That is an impossible dream, yet it seems many parents...
Read MorePosted on 5/8/2007
HAVE YOU LET YOUR CHILDREN GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES? When I was a child, my parents found frequent reason to tell me that I was a small fish in a big pond. Sometimes, to keep me on my...
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