Questions

Hang in There!

Posted on 6/1/2021

When using the kicked out of garden method for target behaviors, do you have the child stay in the room? (We are assuming you do.) We have a 10-year-old boy who has been stealing things and lying...

Toddler On The Run Needs To Stop In His Tracks

Posted on 5/20/2021

My 3 year old has started running away from me when we’re out, and also opening the front door and walking out. How should I handle this?

Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

It's Payback Time: A Nine-Year Old's Transgression

Posted on 5/6/2021

Ok, my son and wife gave their 9 year old daughter use of an old iPad to play games. My son thought his credit info was disabled and he warned her never to buy ANYTHING. However, he has...

Delaying Consequences - A Good Option for Mom

Posted on 5/2/2021

When my son is not being obedient, I say, "You have until the count of three or - insert consequences from his actions, i.e., “You won’t be going to go to the playground after preschool.” He...

She's Got an Arm!

Posted on 4/13/2021

My 2 year old daughter is throwing anything and everything she can find when she feels upset or does not get her way ... any advice? We have tried ignoring it but she just grabs more things to...

Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Teen Boy Not So Sneaky

Posted on 2/28/2021

My teenage son keeps sneaking food and disobeying. He isn't allowed to eat in his room, yet he sneaks food in there fairly often. We just found a jar of brown sugar with a spoon in it. He has...

Am I doing to much?

Posted on 2/18/2021

I have 3 children, soon to be 5, soon to be 4, soon to be 2. I have begun implementing alpha speech and tickets within the last month. I am still using the "offense" to lose tickets as not...

When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted on 2/16/2021

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

Agony Principle explained

Posted on 2/15/2021

My husband and I are so encouraged by the information we are reading in your book "The Well Disciplined Child". Could you elaborate on the Agony Principle in regards to confining our 7 year old...

5th Grader Returning to Bad Habits

Posted on 2/8/2021

My son is in the 5th grade and hasn’t been completing any of his school work. We grounded him for a month. We took away everything away besides a few outfits and he was to stay in his room except...

Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Foster Child Struggles With Sleep

Posted on 1/29/2021

I have a 6 yr old foster child who comes out of his bedroom 20-30 or more a night. He refuses to stay in his room. We have tried all kinds of consequences and nothing seems to work. He even laughs...

Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

It's All About Leadership and Love

Posted on 1/25/2021

Hello, we are over in the UK, back in full lock down, schools closed. I struggle with consistency, tiredness and forgetfulness. Even worse I feel humiliated and pathetic because I struggle with...

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Task avoider

Posted on 1/13/2021

Hi, John and Team! My husband and I cannot get our 17 yo old son to complete the most basic of tasks regarding his room! On a daily basis, we expect him to make his bed, keep dirty clothes in...

Discipline Now, Get Along Later

Posted on 1/10/2021

My husband and our 4 year old daughter do not "get along" very well and today we found out we are having our 3rd child that is another girl! (We have one boy, and now two girls). Does John have...

Use family meetings to address and solve problems.

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello - I need some advice for dealing with moody and temperamental behavior in my 14 year old. I've read Teen Proofing and recognize that I may be a micromanager and am trying to step back and...

Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

8-Year-Old Needs a Wake-Up Call

Posted on 12/20/2020

My 8-year old daughter has been really struggling with the same few bad habits for months. For one, she almost never obeys or follows directions the first time she’s told. She’s not disrespectful,...

Understanding an emerging 3 year old.

Posted on 12/17/2020

I am continuing to have problems with my 3.5 year old. There are two in particular that I want to address: 1. Not listening to commands 2. Whining when not getting his way 1. This is by far...

Don't Ask, Do Tell

Posted on 12/16/2020

My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...

Two Year Old is a Whole Different Animal!

Posted on 12/11/2020

Good morning. My husband and I have six children, ranging 3 months to 9 years. Our first son Ryan Samuel is 2 years old as of October 4. He is a whole different animal compared to the girls. We...

Loss of Grandfather Angers 13 year old Granddaughter

Posted on 12/5/2020

My 13 year old grandchild has been mad about everything since her grandfather died last year. Her grades are suffering and she has no interest in anything except playing on her phone. She has...

Toddler seems angered by the potty

Posted on 11/2/2020

Hi! We’ve been potty training for going on four months now. Daughter is 23 months. She has days where she goes accident free and then others where it’s 100% accident. The past few weeks she seems...

10 Year Old Regresses in Behavior

Posted on 10/30/2020

My son is 10 years old and is going through a major regression. He knows all of the rules and has been doing great but with some recent changes to his schedule he's falling right back to where he...

Exhausted Mom of 11-Year-Old Needs Help

Posted on 10/19/2020

I am a mother of an 11yr old daughter. I am a wife and caregiver to a disabled Veteran with mental and physical health problems. My faith is the only thing keeping me going right now. I am having...

How To Apply Discipline Techniques While Not at Home

Posted on 10/19/2020

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the "three strikes" method with...

Teens and Technology: Education is Key for Safety

Posted on 10/14/2020

We have not allowed our 3 children ages 12, 14 and 15 to have cell phones. They also do not have Social Media accounts. They are allowed to text or FaceTime friends or cousins using our phones. ...

Parenting a Disrespectful Teen with Divorced Parents

Posted on 10/10/2020

Almost two years ago my husband left (affair) and we are in a very difficult divorce. We are not friendly and don’t communicate other than texting. We have four children together and have 50/50...

3D Snapshot of the Mien of a Tween: not a Pretty Picture

Posted on 9/23/2020

My 12 year old son is stealing money out of my purse. He has a long history of defiance, sneakiness, and lying. He is also disrespectful, and disobedient. We suspect he's been stealing money for...

Disrespectful 8-Year-Old

Posted on 9/19/2020

We have noticed more ungrateful and entitled behavior in my 8 year old son recently. During a trip to the zoo, he became upset and was rude and disrespectful when I would not buy him food and ice...

How to Deal With a 5-Year-Old Who Hits

Posted on 9/17/2020

Our son is 5 and just started kindergarten. He's had so many tough transitions this year with COVID lockdowns. One day in March his friends, preschool, extended family were all taken away and then...

Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted on 7/23/2020

What if both parents in the home are not on the same page, can bad behavior be corrected?

4-Year-Old Acts Out when Reprimanded

Posted on 7/22/2020

Our four year old uses her "animal brain" more often than I would expect. She loses control and acts out when she is reprimanded. We don't want to spank for every act of disobedience. When is...

Nipping his misbehavior in the Bud

Posted on 7/19/2020

Our 18 month old has gone from being an easy to child to a handful. All of his behavior seems normal, but more extreme than our older boys. He also seems unresponsive to correction. Some of these...

What to Do About Screen Addiction?

Posted on 7/5/2020

My 11-year-old son is obsessed with screens. If we tell him to do something while he is on his phone or iPad he huffs and puffs or we are told, “in a minute." Then he only gets 2 out of 3 chores...

6 YO Girl Behaving Inappropriately with Friends and Lying About It

Posted on 6/2/2020

Private parts My 6 year old daughter and her friend, a boy have gotten in to trouble lately, because they keep trying to sneak off and pee in front of each other. I’m concerned because they...

Disrespectful Tween

Posted on 5/22/2020

My 11 year old daughter gets upset when I correct her and calls me names in her heart not aloud; but she later tells me those rude things and apologises. (The most recent name she called me...

Conquering a Three-Year Old Quarantine Quagmire

Posted on 5/5/2020

my son is 3 yr and 3 month old,he was very careful and neat. recently he started to get very aggressive especially during the quarantine in the house. He has been staying home for a month now. He...

Hurricane Behavior in Toddler

Posted on 4/27/2020

Our almost three year old daughter can be very defiant and disrespectful. When she wants something, she wants it right away. She will ask repeatedly for something even when we tell her no. She is...

Oh, Those Rebellious Threes!

Posted on 4/19/2020

Hello, my son just turned three two weeks ago. Almost the same time that his behaviors started to escalate with screaming, saying no when instructed to do things, and just outright rebellious. I...

Misbehavior list increases

Posted on 4/14/2020

Please help! Our almost 5-year old daughter behaves terribly and we do not know where to start. We read the book Well-behaved Child but we also need individual consultation with you. A little...

Pre-Teen: A Lingering Fever

Posted on 3/24/2020

We are having some trouble with our 12 year old son. I can see how things have progressed and how we haven't quite followed the Rosemond plan. He is very rude with his sisters, he talks back a lot...

Take Charge of Bedtime Shenanigans

Posted on 3/12/2020

Feeling frustrated. I have a 6 year old, and 2 year old. They are hanging up on me! For example- I say it’s time for bed, and I tell them to come brush their teeth, the older one starts to...

Give the Kid a Choice

Posted on 3/3/2020

We have a 35 month old son who is very loving, yet VERY strong-willed. I have read your book, and we have tried to implement the strategies recommended, but we find he is so defiant we would be...

Spiraling Seven Year Old

Posted on 3/2/2020

I would like some advice on how to handle our 7 year old son. Our family has had an extremely tough season. We had to re-home the dog my children grew up with (my sons best buddy) due to my sons...

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