Questions

The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

Pre- teen sent to principal's office

Posted on 2/19/2020

My 11 y/o daughter was just sent to the principal's office for carving a middle finger out of an eraser and saying that it represented her teacher. Princial said that she and other kids are...

10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

Ball is in the Parent's Court

Posted on 1/31/2020

Hello, My son, who is 5 years old has a strong will and constantly gets in trouble at TK for bad behavior. Since infancy it was hard to deal with him, because he would refuse to obey. I tried to...

Lower the Boom on School Misbehavior

Posted on 1/22/2020

Our seven year old got sent to the principles office today for telling another student "I'm going to kill you". He was already one night into a three night bout of being banished to his room due...

Little Victories

Posted on 1/16/2020

Not a question; more of a comment of thanks. I started the Ticket Method (at home for both home and school behaviors) a week ago and today my son's teacher (1st grade) sent me an email stating...

Toddler ignores grandma.

Posted on 1/14/2020

Lately my 2 year old has moments where he is very rude to my mom (his grandma) who helps with childcare. He blatantly ignores her or tells her no or that he doesn't want to do x, y or z. My...

Stay the Course.

Posted on 1/14/2020

I used N75 with my first child and it was a snap. At 22 months she was without accidents within a few days. My second child was 22 months before the holidays. With traveling etc. etc. we...

Time for a Reset

Posted on 1/12/2020

Clarification to my follow up question: When you say impose consequences... often my consequences are extra chores. I do not know what else to offer as a consequence. They're too young to take...

6 and 9 Year Olds Won’t Do Chores

Posted on 1/12/2020

Follow up question: After reviewing chapter 3, i do believe I was using the ticket system properly... my targets were 1. Not doing as told 2. Lying 3. Talking back. The targets were the same...

Alpha Speech is Key for Getting Kids to Obey

Posted on 1/10/2020

I have 2 girls, 9 & 6. They will not obey. They’ll lie that they did something and I have to verify completion or it’s never done. I used the ticket system and I had to take away every privilege...

Alpha Speech is Key to Parental Leadership

Posted on 1/9/2020

Hello. Our daughter just turned 5. She has started to argue, history, say she didn’t hear, that she forgot and any number of excuses when she has disobeyed us. If we ask her to go put her toy...

Argumentative two and a half year old

Posted on 12/14/2019

Our two and a half year old daughter is argumentative. There will be times when we’ve told her to do something in a clear manner and she will outright say “No, I will not do...” (fill in the...

Mouthy Teens Ups the Vitriol

Posted on 12/9/2019

Okay, I’ve had this subscription for years now and have yet to write in with a question, as many, and as urgent, as I’ve felt they have been in previous years. So I hope you’ll give me a little...

Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

Argumentative 10-Year-Old Needs a Reality Check

Posted on 11/26/2019

Argumentative 10 year old- May daughter is pushing back on everything. When told to do something (anything) she grumbles, sighs, complains, etc. My husband and I have been working on "yes mom,...

Rebellious 25 monts old

Posted on 11/23/2019

Hi My 25 month old daughter is potty trained now. I started when she was 23 month old, and 3 weeks ago until she got completely trained even at night. since yesterday she has been having pee...

Reservations about Resetting the Dial

Posted on 11/21/2019

This question is for Sharon Lamberth: Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply regarding my family's discipline situation. I agree that my husband and I need to do the things you suggested,...

Managing Misbehavior on Vacation

Posted on 11/16/2019

After a long string of troubling incidents involving our 7yr old (soon to be 8) son, we decided to try John's "kicking out of the garden" strategy. We are going on vacation (gone 9 days) next...

Toddler Tests the Limits

Posted on 11/13/2019

My son is 11 months old today. When I tell him not to touch something, he will almost immediately touch the item. When he does, i remove the item from his hand and tell him that he is not allowed...

Being in charge means...

Posted on 11/9/2019

How do you recommend dealing with whining and bad attitudes? We we using the ticket system with our 5 year old and it is helping with bigger bad behaviors. We are working to use Alpha speech and...

When Normal Becomes a Disorder

Posted on 11/6/2019

My son is six years old, and he started kindergarten this year. Somewhere around week three or four, I got a call from his teacher stating that he has "impulsivity issues". I did a quick google...

4-Year-Old Running the Show

Posted on 10/31/2019

What if our 4 year old refuses to stay in his room after he loses his 5 tickets?

A Tale of the Terrible Twos

Posted on 10/27/2019

What is the appropriate response when a toddler misbehaves while you're in the middle of an activity you cannot just walk away from to redirect or deter them immediately? Here are a few...

Train Him Up

Posted on 10/24/2019

How do you deal with a 4 year old that when he is told “no” or asked to do something he does not want to do, ends up doing that specific thing or has a tantrum to some degree or another. How do...

Resetting The Dial Can Be Best Bet

Posted on 10/21/2019

What are the suggested number of target behaviors and daily tickets for children of the following ages: 1) boy age 5 - generally a low-misbehaver, main problem is tantrums, sometimes disobeys or...

Tickets for 3 year olds?

Posted on 10/17/2019

We started the ticket system with our three and 5 year old boys about two months ago. I feel like our 3 year old may be too young for it. The afternoons are particularly rough because he has...

Be the Alpha Female

Posted on 10/10/2019

Our 5 yo son is very well-behaved at school (he just started kindergarten 6 weeks ago) but his behavior has worsened by extremes at home. Especially at bedtime, if I don't snuggle him in his bed...

Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

Nip Disrespectful Behavior in the Bud

Posted on 10/3/2019

I home school my 7-year-old son. We are working on obeying and being respectful. Often when I tell him something he responds disrespectfully. He will yell back at me or say something mean and then...

Custody Decision For 17 YO

Posted on 9/26/2019

John, I have read many of your books and listen to your podcast regularly. I am a Christian and agree with your biblical parenting principles. However, I am divorce from an atheist and he is...

Too Many Expectations for 9-Year-Old

Posted on 9/25/2019

My daughter is 9, she is very respectful (although disobeying and arguing are not respectful) and has great manners ("yes ma'am", "yes, sir"). She has given me a run for my money her whole life...

Discipline Heartily(with Infusions of Affection)

Posted on 9/22/2019

Good Morning, I am a single dad of 3 boys ages 7 and 3 yo twins. Recently one of the twin boys has been acting out at preschool and at home. He wont listen to instruction, throw toys, hit his...

Occasional Angry Outbursts

Posted on 9/21/2019

My 7 year old son is a good kid. He’s generally kind, polite and respectful. But there are times (only happens at home) when he doesn’t get his way and I see this rage well up in him. He starts to...

Parenting Strategies Not Paying Off

Posted on 9/18/2019

I have been the children's director for 20+ years at our church. Most of our parents use the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Paul Tripp. I feel like parents are explaining themselves to...

Grandparent Etiquette

Posted on 9/15/2019

I am a single mom with a 6-year-old girl. Both sets of grandparents live close by, and she is very close to both of them. I am trying to teach her that when we visit, she is to say hello,...

"Doctor" Makes House Call for 5 YO Preschooler

Posted on 9/7/2019

My 5 year old girl is strong willed, defiant and disobedient. She throws frequent tantrums when not getting her way. At school she is fine but anywhere else she acts out (screams, rages, scowls,...

Grandparent Etiquette and More

Posted on 9/6/2019

Hi. I am a single mom with a 6 year old girl. I have both sets of grandparents close and she is very close to both of them. My question is two fold. I am trying to teach her that when we visit,...

When Food Issues Become Power Struggles

Posted on 9/5/2019

I asked a question about my 8 year old sneaking sweets - we have since carried out your suggestions - but it is not working. She looks for other ways to get sweets. We allowed her to buy some cup...

Wrestle Mania

Posted on 9/3/2019

We started the ticket system with our 3 year old a few weeks ago (along with working on changing our language to Alpha language). I think he gets it. He can verbalize the basics of the system and...

Parents Need to Be On The Same Page

Posted on 8/30/2019

My husband and I recently legally adopted our six and half year old nephew who has been living with us since he was 2.5. He did not know us prior to him coming to live with us. He comes from a...

Wild Child

Posted on 8/17/2019

We recently started he ticket system with our 3 and 5 year old children. It has worked well with our 5 year old but our three year old has lost all his tickets multiple times. Often, the loss of...

7 year old yells at himself

Posted on 8/14/2019

I have a 7 year old boy with behavior problems but only towards me, his Mother. Whenever he is disrespectful and starts screaming at me I send him to his room for the rest of the day. While he is...

The S Word

Posted on 7/29/2019

My 28 month old is having an issue with calling me "stupid." When we are at home I put him in time out for 5 minutes and tell him “no calling mommy names.” What do I do when we are out in public...

10-Year-Old Lying - One More Thing

Posted on 7/16/2019

My 10-year-old son has a problem with lying. We have not figured out a solution that completely eradicates this problem, yet. Most recently, we left him at home while we went grocery shopping...

8 yro needs to learn to give some R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Posted on 7/11/2019

I have 3 sons: 4,6,8. My oldest has been a challenge for us. He does well academically. There are some requests at school to have him listen or think through questions before asking. But these...

It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

Soon to be 4 yro needs to know who's in control

Posted on 6/29/2019

Hello, what is a good discipline measure to use on my 3 year old son who is soon to be 4 years old? Time out does not seem to work anymore. He yells at us, slaps the walls, and outright tells us...

7-year-old Sunday School Woes

Posted on 6/20/2019

A 7 or 8 year old boy came to Sunday School for the first time and we suspect there are problems at home. I have not met him personally, but he was described as dark and negative. I do not know...

4 and 5 year old brothers tag team Mom

Posted on 6/12/2019

My older boy, age 5 has been on the ticket system for about 9 months. He starts the day with 3 tickets and his misbehaviors are screaming at us and not obeying us. My younger boy, 4 has recently...

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