Questions

Pest Control

Posted on 11/17/2022

Our 5-year-old daughter has come a long way with her behavior in the last year, but the top two biggest issues still are 1) her never ending pestering and annoying. She pesters and annoys those...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

Silly boy, listening is for kids

Posted on 11/13/2022

Our 4 year old was a pretty good listener right up to when he turned 4. We've weathered some big tantrums, which seem to mostly be in decline (frequency & length). Now, he has started to just "be...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

When It Comes to Clothes, 4-Year-Old Has a Mind of Her Own

Posted on 11/9/2022

HI! My daughter turns 4 in a month. She has a closet full of beautiful dresses but chooses the same 3 outfits of hand me down play clothes. Am I asking too much to choose her outfits? This was...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Parent Leadership and Authority, Preschool

Potty Training Setbacks

Posted on 10/24/2022

My 4.5 year old has recently started having accidents in preschool. These include both poop and pee. It doesn't seem to bother her. At first the school nurse would clean her up and send her back...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Toilet Training

Adoption questions

Posted on 9/27/2022

We have adopted 2 sons. They are 5 and 3 years old, and they came to us as babies (6 months and 3 1/2 months). They have never had any family member visits, or anyone in their lives other than my...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent

Working on one behavior at a time.

Posted on 9/26/2022

4 yr old aggressive son, next question: turns out I have come to realise I am enabling bad behavior by being a pushover of a mother. I need to sort out his behaviour, and my responses to it,...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Five Years Old: The Age of Fine Whine

Posted on 9/21/2022

My youngest, who is 5 years old, is feeling left out, saying the neighborhood kids don’t want to play with him. However, I don’t blame them! He is very whiny, tattles constantly, and doesn't share...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

Aggressive 4-Year-Old Boy

Posted on 9/19/2022

My 4 yr old is aggressive, the gentle parenting we have been sold isn't working for this. I have just read your work and as of yestersday have been confining my son to his room if he hits/is...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression

Raising Believers

Posted on 8/30/2022

We just started the ticket system and we have one target misbehavior for our 4 year old. Following directions. For example, when he loses a ticket because he doesn’t listen when we ask him to...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

Time to Reel In 5-Year-Old

Posted on 8/16/2022

We have a 5 year old who has come a long way with behavior but lately hasn't been great at listening when told to do something. She will almost pretend we didn't say it or will just say "I will in...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

Sometimes all you need is a hug and a dutch door.

Posted on 8/13/2022

When my 4 year old son loses all his privileges for the day, we cannot get him to stay in his room. What is something we can try? We calmly put him back in his room each time he runs out, but it...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

Get Creative

Posted on 7/24/2022

Greetings! Our usually cheerful and happy 4yo daughter does not seem to react normally to punishment. At first she gets upset and cries, but very shortly into a time out or being sent to her room...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Spanking

Middle of the Night Potty Solution

Posted on 7/16/2022

My 3.5 year old has been potty trained since before he was 2. I read and generally used the Rosemond book. However, I didn’t do the night/nap training as my pediatrician said it was just...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Bedwetting, Mothers, Toilet Training

Natural Consequences Are EffectiveTeachers

Posted on 7/9/2022

My 9 year old boy frequently acts like a baby and very odd in a socially unacceptable way like a feral child. When leaving his friends he will say “bye friends” in a silly voice. He also was...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Elementary School, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Play, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

9 year old's Frequent Night Time Urinating Best Evaluated by Pediatrician

Posted on 6/26/2022

My 9-year-old frequently gets out of bed to go to the toilet at night. I don’t mind but our house is laid out that he has to leave his bedroom, come down the stairs, past our living room, dining...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Bedwetting, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Toilet Training

3-Year-Old in Hyper Mode

Posted on 6/22/2022

My 3.5 year old will get hyper and annoying when he is overtired or overexcited. When he’s in a “hyper mode”, he’s running around, trying to roughhouse, jumping into people, being loud and...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Preschool, Socialization/Social Skills

5-Year-Old Is Sore Loser of Titanic Proportion!

Posted on 6/20/2022

My 5 year old son is a terribly sore loser. Everytime he loses he either sobs uncontrollably or stomps of fuming mad. He is the oldest of 4 siblings (in case that is relevant). My husband and I...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Tantrums

The Third Year of Life - A Time to Learn and Blossom

Posted on 5/24/2022

What chores and responsibilities should a 3.5 year old have? Should there be a designate “workbook/learning” time every day?

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Socialization/Social Skills

Youn Boy Wants Answer to Complicated Physiological Question

Posted on 5/21/2022

Hi there, My 4 years old boy asked my wife last night before going to bed why his penis gets large. She managed to delay answering it by asking him to ask me. We both clueless how to answer...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking)

Bedtime Monsters

Posted on 5/15/2022

My 9 year old won’t go to bed at night, constantly crying about monsters etc which has never been an issue before. It seems to be one thing after the other. If he could sleep in my bed he would...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

4 Year Old and Grandma need a break

Posted on 5/12/2022

I am a grandparent?! asking the question. My husband and I take turns babysitting my daughter's 2 of 3 kids, their oldest daughter is in 2nd grade. We are baby sitting due to their youngest son,...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Grandparents/Grandchildren

4 Year Old Boy in Structured Academic Program? Not on My Watch!

Posted on 5/10/2022

Hello, Our 4 year old son is attending a private school this fall which will have a more structured environment than his daycare. He is a very hyperactive boy and I wondered if there were...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Daycare/Preschool, Homeschooling, School Issues

Hearing Voices

Posted on 4/27/2022

"John" is almost 6 and is hearing voices in his head. The voices keep him awake at night and tell him "bad things". He does not try to get up and there are no behavior issues. He simply can't...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears

Young daughter testing the boundaries

Posted on 4/21/2022

Hi! I am following up on questions I asked about a year ago that were titled "The Preschooler: in her Untamed Primal Glory" Using a parent coach and reading "The Well Behaved Child" (many...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment

No Response is a Response: Let Them Be Silly

Posted on 4/21/2022

How do we teach our children to stop the constant silly talk/noises? One child is diagnosed with ADHD, autism, etc. I've set up a rule that the first 30 minutes after wakeup and the last 30...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

Exhausted and Longing for Peace

Posted on 4/4/2022

Discovering your books has put us on a new trajectory in our family after years of struggle with our "high misbehavior" 5 year old. For several months we've used the ticket system and "kicked him...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority

Middle of the Night Snacks Prolonging Mealtime Battles

Posted on 3/20/2022

In September I asked for advice on my picky 2-year-old. For 6 months, I have consistently tried the methods recommended. I didn't fuss over meals, just gave him small amounts of whatever I made,...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

Don't Make a Mountain out of a Molehill

Posted on 3/18/2022

Ten year old son plays with his penis at bedtime. I go to his room at night time and finds him asleep with his hand in his pants. I've told him how wrong this is. Hoe can I get him to stop? He...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Gender, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers

Parental Leadership is Critical

Posted on 3/10/2022

Good afternoon, My 5, almost 6, year old son is struggling, in school and at home, with impulse control and tantrums. Today, he got in trouble at school for spitting on the carpet and another...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

Five year old Frustration

Posted on 3/5/2022

We care for our five year old great grandson and his three year old sister four days a week. He will break down tearfully when he doesn’t get what he wants or is frustrated. It’s improving but...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Difficult parenting can be remedied.

Posted on 2/28/2022

My 5yo son, with whom we have long worked to correct certain behaviors (chiefly rule breaking, obeying, executive functioning, outbursts, needy attention), has begun to bang his head on the floor,...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Parent Leadership and Authority

Saying "Bye-Bye" to Binkie

Posted on 2/25/2022

What age should children stop using a binkie? Our 3-year-old still loves his for night only. Any ideas how to approach taking it away?

Ages: Birth to 18MOS, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Pacifiers/Security Blankets/Thumbsucking, Parent Leadership and Authority

Six Year Old Loves to Scream

Posted on 2/20/2022

My 6 year old has screaming fits nearly every day usually related to being told to do something he doesn't want to or when he is mad at his brother. We have gone back to making him go to his room...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Sibling Conflict

Corporal punishment dilemma

Posted on 2/18/2022

Hello. We have three boys. They are 6, 10 and 11. We adopted them out of foster care about 3 years ago. When necessary as a tool to discipline our kids (and train them to make better choices next...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment

Silly Bedtime Brothers

Posted on 1/18/2022

Our older two boys, 5 and 7, go crazy at bedtime. They are silly, which is fine, but in being silly they make messes and are often disrespectful. After going to bed, we can hear them laughing and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play

Mom Wants to Put a Lid on Son's Potty Talk

Posted on 1/17/2022

Hello, We have a 4.5 year old son. He has been using the word "poop" in everything. Trying to be funny. Or trying to get a rise? Depends. Here are a couple of examples.. I am 33 weeks pregnant...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

Importance of Presenting a United Parenting Front

Posted on 1/2/2022

This may be a complicated question: I have a question about my and my husband's parenting styles. I come from a conservative background, my parents were old school and traditional. Lots of...

Ages: No Specific Age, Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Marriage Issues, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

Shy 7 Year Old

Posted on 12/31/2021

My 7 year old first-grader has trouble joining into social situations. He plays well with his 5 year old brother, but with peers, he goes off on his own, and will tell stories to himself (I...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Self-Esteem, Shyness, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

Disciplining With Tickets When Grandma Comes to Town

Posted on 12/29/2021

I just got your book, "The Well Behaved Child," and today I began using tickets (and Alpha speech) for my just 5-year-old son who is very loving and sweet but would be considered a "high...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Socialization/Social Skills

Frustrating Food Drama with 5-Year-Old

Posted on 12/28/2021

My 5 year old says she’s hungry often during the day. When I offer her options she doesn’t want any of them. It’s getting quite frustrating, especially at bedtime.

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Parent Leadership and Authority

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar---Even Though I'm Only 4!

Posted on 12/7/2021

I am at my wits end. I am doing my best to do the ticket system with my children. My 4 year old daughter has maybe made it 1 day, at least until bedtime, without losing all of her tickets since we...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Tantrums

Friends, Fun, and Four Year Olds

Posted on 11/28/2021

My question is about how much socialization with peers is needed for my four year old son? We plan on homeschooling our kids and therefore do not have our son enrolled in preschool. Because of the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Homeschooling, Socialization/Social Skills

Leave Christmas Alone

Posted on 11/27/2021

Currently my daughter has lost all her toys until her behavior improves. If she hasn’t changed her behavior by Christmas, is it wrong not to allow her to open presents on Christmas Day but require...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

Nip It. Nip It Good.

Posted on 11/17/2021

Hi ParentGuru, I have a question about our 5yr old son who has come home from prep (1st year of primary school here in Melbourne Australia) after an incident in which he threw another student's...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bullies/Bullying, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Tantrums

4 year old working the system

Posted on 11/14/2021

Hello, I am just beginning the ticket strategy with my 4 yr old and I have a couple questions that I am unable to find the answer too. 1. If the very last ticket is lost while already getting...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Change Tactics to Curb 5-Year-Old's Outbursts

Posted on 11/11/2021

My otherwise mild-mannered son who just turned 5 has a habit of making vocal outbursts like a crazed lunatic or someone with mental problems. It's usually excited yelling or forced laughter...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

Transition from Nap Time to Quiet Time

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs, 10mo old. What age is appropriate for naps to go away? Our daughter fights naps nearly every day. The problem is that if she doesn’t get a nap is she gets extremely...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedtime/Sleep, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Keep Potty Training Positive- Don't Punish For Accidents

Posted on 11/2/2021

Hi, our daughter is 2yrs 10mo old. We potty trained her 9 months ago using the “naked and $75” method from John Rosemond’s book Toilet Training Without Tantrums. Potty training clicked with her...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Bedwetting, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Daycare/Preschool, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Toilet Training

Five Year Old Slugger

Posted on 11/1/2021

Hello! We have a 5 year old who has been having some big problems hitting his parents and tutor. Although we have been using the ticket system for several months, his yelling and physicality have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Homeschooling, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect

Bossy 4-Year-Old Not Giving Up

Posted on 10/30/2021

Four year old thinks he’s the boss. He’s physically abusive, has no respect for anyone’s sleep including his two younger brothers and is completely defiant. Everything is an argument. Once...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior