Questions

Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Consultation Inquiry

Posted on 5/12/2021

Hello, This question is about my child's disobedience. In my opinion, he is a very independent type A 5 year old. He always wans to be the boss. I have been trying the methods mentioned on the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

Delaying Consequences - A Good Option for Mom

Posted on 5/2/2021

When my son is not being obedient, I say, "You have until the count of three or - insert consequences from his actions, i.e., “You won’t be going to go to the playground after preschool.” He...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods

Burned out mom needs respite.

Posted on 4/14/2021

My daughter will turn 3 in a week. I also have a 5 year old son and a 6 month old baby. My daughter is typically a compliant, well mannered girl and is complimented by caregivers. However, she has...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

Alpha Speech Payoff!

Posted on 4/7/2021

Not a question today but a praise report! Today at the park, in alpha speech, I told my son we would be leaving in 5 minutes. When the 5 minutes were up, I said “we are leaving”, my son...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech

Mom Wants to Put a Lid on Potty Talk

Posted on 4/7/2021

My 5 year old son has frequently been using the following words out of context: butt, fart, toot, booger etc. He gets on these trash talking rants. He’s laughing and joking most of the time....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods

Parent Worried About Autism

Posted on 4/4/2021

4-year old, dad not involved since his birth. 8 months ago my child saw a video about pregnant ladies and since then he pretends to be pregnant. he knows he is a boy and that cannot happen but...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Daycare/Preschool, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Socialization/Social Skills

4 Y/O Won't Greet People Kindly

Posted on 3/28/2021

My 4 year old son does not greet people. He gives them a scowl or growls at them. He sometimes hides behind me. I’ve told him so many times that he can’t make mean faces at people. It takes him...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Manners, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Public Nuisance

Posted on 3/7/2021

Hi! My daughter will be five in May. Her attention-seeking behavior when she's escalating are easy to deal with at home. We don't feed into it. However, when we're in public, it's a challenge....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Spanking

Home/School Divide

Posted on 3/4/2021

We are in the early stages of implementing John's Discipline strategies. So far, I definitely see improvement in our children's behavior, respect of our authority and each other. We have four...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority

Meltdowns, Scratches, and Wrestling Matches: Dealing With the Brothers 3

Posted on 3/1/2021

Over the past year, we have spent more time together as a family at home. While some of this has been good, we have also seen conflict between our oldest boys, ages 4 and 6, increase. Sometimes...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Father, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

How To Deal With Constant Complaining

Posted on 2/26/2021

I have seen a rise in grumbling, complaining, arguing (with each other and with us) from our older boys, ages 4 and 6. I submitted a separate question about the conflict between the boys, but...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

4-Year-Old Hates Being Corrected

Posted on 2/18/2021

Hi! My 4.5 year old has a problem as of late being corrected. She runs away and hides in her room. When we check on her, she whines inaudibly or kind of yell/whines to be left alone. I don't...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority

Am I doing to much?

Posted on 2/18/2021

I have 3 children, soon to be 5, soon to be 4, soon to be 2. I have begun implementing alpha speech and tickets within the last month. I am still using the "offense" to lose tickets as not...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Toilet Training

When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted on 2/16/2021

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Terrible Twos

Developmental Delays and Potty Training

Posted on 2/16/2021

Toilet training follow up - soiling pants still. Our disabled (developmental delay, hearing loss, sensory processing delay) 4.5 year old daughter has been toilet training for about a month now. ...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Learning Disabilities, Socialization/Social Skills, Toilet Training

Logic and a 4 Year Old Don't Go Together!

Posted on 2/12/2021

My 4 year old daughter is scared and I'm wondering if it's something we should be concerned about. She goes to bed fine (sleeps with the covers over her head because of her fears) but she ends up...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

What's a Grandma to Do?

Posted on 1/31/2021

Hello. I raised my now 35-year-old son using John Rosemond’s methods, and he turned out great! Much to my dismay, however, he and his wife are not interested in raising their sons, 5 and 7, with...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Grandparents/Grandchildren

Posted on 1/28/2021

My grandson was adopted from an orphanage in India when he was 3 years old. My daughter and son-in-law have had him for 2 years as he will be 5 in June. This boy is and has been an unbelievingly...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Toilet Training

Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Tantrums

Snacking 5 year old

Posted on 1/23/2021

Hello! We have stealing problem in our family. We read the information from your website, but we still cannot find the proper answer. Our 5-year old tries to sneak into the kitchen (usually moring...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

Answered in combination with follow up question

Posted on 1/23/2021

Toilet training a child with disabilities. Our four and a half year old daughter has a diagnosed global development delay and also hearing loss with some communication delays. Her vocabulary...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Toilet Training

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Single Parents, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families

Discipline Now, Get Along Later

Posted on 1/10/2021

My husband and our 4 year old daughter do not "get along" very well and today we found out we are having our 3rd child that is another girl! (We have one boy, and now two girls). Does John have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

The Bedtime Snack Dilemma

Posted on 1/9/2021

Hi! Lately my children (ages 5, 8, and 10) have started saying they’re hungry again an hour after dinner and right before bed. I’m certain it’s not a bedtime delay strategy because they still do...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Parent Leadership and Authority

Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bedtime/Sleep, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Father, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Don't Ask, Do Tell

Posted on 12/16/2020

My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

She needs to stop talking.

Posted on 12/9/2020

Hello. Our recently turned 5 year old daughter talks nonstop, if we let her. She is very extroverted and appears to verbalize every thought that comes into her mind. Valid questions and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

"EAT!"

Posted on 11/25/2020

Our kids 6.5 yrs and 4.5 yrs used to watch the iPad with meals; we broke that habit by letting them color or read books, but we have to say ‘eat’ constantly for them to eat. The youngest stands...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Mealtime/Eating

Creating Space

Posted on 11/14/2020

Hello. I have 5 children (8, 6.5, 5, 3 & 3). We have the 8 yr old in her own room, but the 6.5yr and 5 yr olds share one room and the twin 3 yr olds share another room. What type of advice do...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

Taming Hitting Between Younger Siblings

Posted on 11/4/2020

My two year old and my 4 year old are constantly hitting each other what should I do ?

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Arguments with Children, Sibling Conflict

Potty Training Isn’t the Same for Each Child

Posted on 10/25/2020

I began potty training my second son 6 days ago. He is so different than my first! Help! He doesn't seem too concerned about messes. He simply says "Uh-oh" and keeps on playing. When I say "Go sit...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Toilet Training

How To Apply Discipline Techniques While Not at Home

Posted on 10/19/2020

We are putting into practice a number of parenting techniques mentioned on this site. And overall things are working well when we are in the home. How do I use the "three strikes" method with...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

Don't Feed 5 YO's Desire to Acquire

Posted on 10/8/2020

My 5 1/2-year-old boy is greedy. If he gets a present he is excited and laser-focused on it. He is not appreciative once he gets it. He plays with it a bit then wants more. He is a sweet...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Socialization/Social Skills

Sibling Warfare

Posted on 10/2/2020

My 6 year old son is bullying and hitting his 4 year old brother behind my back and telling him not to tell and lying about it to me. The 4 year old is acting out in daycare, already being kicked...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

Adjusting to a New Pre School Can Be Hard

Posted on 9/25/2020

We are struggling with our 3-year-old at school. She started in PK-3 this year at a new school. The past 3 years she has been in daycare/pre-school. Where to begin... and by the way all of these...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Anxieties, Fears, Daycare/Preschool, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Rewards, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums, Toilet Training

Normal Kindergarten Boy

Posted on 9/21/2020

Our 5-year-old is struggling in kindergarten because of behavior. He runs around the classroom instead of staying in his seat, refuses to stay quiet (shouts) when the teacher is teaching and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, School Issues

Difficult transition for a 4 year old.

Posted on 9/17/2020

Hello again, Gretchen, Thank you for your previous advice on not saying too much to my 4 year old about his father and I separation. I have followed the advice but my 4 year old is now having...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Divorce/Custody

Mean behavior on playground

Posted on 9/10/2020

Advice please for mom of a strong-willed preschool girl age 4 who got into trouble at pre-school for being mean to other children. The teacher said she has tried talking to preschool girl about...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Daycare/Preschool, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

Continue to beware of TMI

Posted on 9/9/2020

Hi, My 4 yr old grandsons mother walked out on the family 1 1/2 years ago. As he is aging he is asking more questions , and we are telling him it is not his fault, and that he has us, his dad and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Grandparents/Grandchildren

Explaining marital problems to a 4 year old.

Posted on 8/21/2020

About 5 days ago, my 4 year old son and I escaped a domestic violence situation. My husband is now in a behavioral health hospital for the unforeseen future and we have been staying at my dad’s...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Divorce/Custody, Father

2-Year-Old and 4-Year-Old Can't Get Along

Posted on 8/20/2020

My 2 year old and my 4 year old seem to not be able to stay with each other for 5 min with out fitting over something ... should I say something or let them work it out because it seem like a...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Sibling Conflict, Terrible Twos

What Is A Normal 3 Year Old?

Posted on 8/19/2020

Our little boy turns 3 in a week. He is one of the youngest in his preschool class (cutoff is 9/1 and his birthday is 8/25) and some classmates have been 3 since last fall. I feel that he is...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Daycare/Preschool, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

TIme to work with a coach.

Posted on 8/18/2020

Hi there. My husband and I have twin boys who will turn five years old at the end of October. Over the past few weeks, the competition between the two of them has really increased. I know that...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Depression/Self-Harm

Needy 5 year old

Posted on 8/10/2020

My soon to be ( in 2 months) 5 year old is extremely needy. He doesn't play by himself and if he does it is for a very short time. 20 to 30 minutes maybe. He will not go to sleep without one of us...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods

4-Year-Old Acts Out when Reprimanded

Posted on 7/22/2020

Our four year old uses her "animal brain" more often than I would expect. She loses control and acts out when she is reprimanded. We don't want to spank for every act of disobedience. When is...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority