Questions

Adopted Daughters Crave Adult Attention

Posted on 10/28/2021

Daughters want too much attention from adults, and are too touchy with them. We have two adopted daughters, ages five and six. Both seem to want an unnatural amount of attention from adults....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Play, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

Time to Drop Back and Reboot with 4 Year Old

Posted on 10/12/2021

I started the ticket chart with my then 4 year old son back in May for his disobedience. I have since added other behaviors like name calling, stomping his feet when mad and arguing with me. It...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

Peer Relationships Require Support

Posted on 10/1/2021

My oldest son is 4.5 and by nature is an introvert most of the time. He is shy to start with and then you can't stop him talking thereafter. I wonder if I've made a mistake by encouraging him to...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Manners

Define "Disciplined"

Posted on 9/23/2021

Whenever we have friends or family over or we’re at an event with other kids our 4 year old daughter very rarely engages in playing with the children and constantly wants to be where the adults...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Socialization/Social Skills

4 year old terrorist wearing out her family

Posted on 9/23/2021

Our 4 year old daughter has become a complete terrorist. She has always been difficult and challenging but it’s only getting worse by the day. We have always been strict parents and have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Respect, Spanking, Tantrums

The Doctor Can Help!

Posted on 9/1/2021

Our middle child, a 5 year old boy, has intense emotions. We have (re)started the ticket system with him and his older brother, and he consistently loses tickets after school in the car. We have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

"Anything for Attention and The Most Annoying Thing Ever"

Posted on 8/11/2021

I have a seven year old boy who is a copycat. There are adults around him who clear their throat, so now he is clearing his throat. It has become a habit and when he gets mad, he exaggerates it...

Ages: No Specific Age, Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years), Pre-Teen (11-12 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills

Smelly kid

Posted on 7/27/2021

My four year old daughter has been potty trained for a few years now but she constantly either forgets to wipe or doesn’t do it well enough despite all my efforts. She smells like pee almost...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Toilet Training

Things You Can't Change

Posted on 7/25/2021

One of the moms in our play date group does not believe in disciplining her children. Her 4 year old son has meltdowns, takes toys from other children, and BITES when he doesn’t get his way. When...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Disobedience/Defiance, Play, Respect, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

A Bad Day at The Zoo or Sensory Processing Disorder?

Posted on 7/3/2021

My 4 year old son has been seeing an occupational therapist to help with his behavioral issues. She suggested that my son has a sensory processing disorder to explain why he will listen to...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Alpha Speech, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Tickets, Strikes and Keeping the Peace

Posted on 6/22/2021

I’ve attempted using the ticket system, but I’m getting confused. I have a 4 yr old and 7yr old. They fight, and argue about EVERYTHING. I put 3 tickets on the fridge- no tattling, no disturbing...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Play, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Sibling Conflict, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills

Taming 5 year Old Stubbornness

Posted on 6/21/2021

My 5 year old daughters stubbornness cannot be tamed and I’m not sure what to do. I completely emptied her room 10 days ago. She had 2 blankets and a pillow and that’s it. She had shown great...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Aggression Toward Family Pet Is Unacceptable

Posted on 6/15/2021

Help…my 5 year old kicked our 6 month old puppy so hard I think his leg may be broken. I am disturbed beyond words. Heartbroken and feel like I’m a horrible parent. She first lied and said he...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Aggression, Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority

I'm Down with Him Bein' a HomeBoy--a 4-year old's schooling

Posted on 6/13/2021

Good Afternoon, We are left with 3 decisions for my 4.5 year old boy regarding school next year: 1) Public JK where we hear the curriculum is very play based. 2) Montessori - will receive...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Daycare/Preschool, School Issues

When Politics Enters Your Child's Education

Posted on 6/4/2021

I was shocked and surprised to find out that next week our kids Elementary School a Catholic School will be celebrating Pride week all week. Nothing was done to inform the parents.. I was I am...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), School Issues, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

Mom Needs Nighttime Nightmare To End!

Posted on 5/25/2021

I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old and 1 yr old - all boys - who share a room. We have a 2 bedroom house so there is no other option - we have a parent room and a boy room. The 1 yr old used to share our...

Ages: Birth to 18MOS, Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

Early Intervention Resources

Posted on 5/22/2021

Hi, It is so hard to tell who the scammers are and who are legitimate in the "medical" realm. I have a friend who has a son who has all the classic symptoms of actual autism, but his Dr. has not...

Ages: No Specific Age, Birth to 18MOS, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Miscellaneous Editorial Columns

Teaching the Difference Between Inside and Outside Voice

Posted on 5/17/2021

Both my children are blessed with loud voices. My efforts to stop them screaming inside our house and car have failed. Do you have any ideas on how to stop it or a good consequence every time they...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Manners, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rewards, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Tantrums

Consultation Inquiry

Posted on 5/12/2021

Hello, This question is about my child's disobedience. In my opinion, he is a very independent type A 5 year old. He always wans to be the boss. I have been trying the methods mentioned on the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior

Delaying Consequences - A Good Option for Mom

Posted on 5/2/2021

When my son is not being obedient, I say, "You have until the count of three or - insert consequences from his actions, i.e., “You won’t be going to go to the playground after preschool.” He...

Ages: Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods

Burned out mom needs respite.

Posted on 4/14/2021

My daughter will turn 3 in a week. I also have a 5 year old son and a 6 month old baby. My daughter is typically a compliant, well mannered girl and is complimented by caregivers. However, she has...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out)

Alpha Speech Payoff!

Posted on 4/7/2021

Not a question today but a praise report! Today at the park, in alpha speech, I told my son we would be leaving in 5 minutes. When the 5 minutes were up, I said “we are leaving”, my son...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech

Mom Wants to Put a Lid on Potty Talk

Posted on 4/7/2021

My 5 year old son has frequently been using the following words out of context: butt, fart, toot, booger etc. He gets on these trash talking rants. He’s laughing and joking most of the time....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods

Parent Worried About Autism

Posted on 4/4/2021

4-year old, dad not involved since his birth. 8 months ago my child saw a video about pregnant ladies and since then he pretends to be pregnant. he knows he is a boy and that cannot happen but...

Ages: No Specific Age, Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: ADHD and other disorders, Daycare/Preschool, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Socialization/Social Skills

4 Y/O Won't Greet People Kindly

Posted on 3/28/2021

My 4 year old son does not greet people. He gives them a scowl or growls at them. He sometimes hides behind me. I’ve told him so many times that he can’t make mean faces at people. It takes him...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Manners, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends)

Keep it Simple!

Posted on 3/10/2021

We have been doing the 6 block chart system with our 4 year old. We did the ticket system prior to this. He loses privileges on blocks 3 (LEGOs), 4 (Hot Wheels), and 5 (TV). He goes to his room on...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Tantrums

Public Nuisance

Posted on 3/7/2021

Hi! My daughter will be five in May. Her attention-seeking behavior when she's escalating are easy to deal with at home. We don't feed into it. However, when we're in public, it's a challenge....

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Spanking

Home/School Divide

Posted on 3/4/2021

We are in the early stages of implementing John's Discipline strategies. So far, I definitely see improvement in our children's behavior, respect of our authority and each other. We have four...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Consequences/Punishment, Parent Leadership and Authority

Meltdowns, Scratches, and Wrestling Matches: Dealing With the Brothers 3

Posted on 3/1/2021

Over the past year, we have spent more time together as a family at home. While some of this has been good, we have also seen conflict between our oldest boys, ages 4 and 6, increase. Sometimes...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

Encouraging Resourcefulness

Posted on 2/26/2021

My husband thinks I need to provide more structure for our 2, 4 and 6 year old. This has risen out of increasing complaints about boredom, fighting between the kids and increasing misbehavior...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Fathers, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

How To Deal With Constant Complaining

Posted on 2/26/2021

I have seen a rise in grumbling, complaining, arguing (with each other and with us) from our older boys, ages 4 and 6. I submitted a separate question about the conflict between the boys, but...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority

4-Year-Old Hates Being Corrected

Posted on 2/18/2021

Hi! My 4.5 year old has a problem as of late being corrected. She runs away and hides in her room. When we check on her, she whines inaudibly or kind of yell/whines to be left alone. I don't...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Parent Leadership and Authority

Am I doing to much?

Posted on 2/18/2021

I have 3 children, soon to be 5, soon to be 4, soon to be 2. I have begun implementing alpha speech and tickets within the last month. I am still using the "offense" to lose tickets as not...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Toilet Training

When Getting Dressed Becomes Game of Chase

Posted on 2/16/2021

Hi, my daughter, will turn 3 in 2 months recently started defying us when it comes to changing her clothes. Whenever she is told it’s time to do it, she thinks its some sort of game, runs away or...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Character/Values (teaching), Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Terrible Twos

Developmental Delays and Potty Training

Posted on 2/16/2021

Toilet training follow up - soiling pants still. Our disabled (developmental delay, hearing loss, sensory processing delay) 4.5 year old daughter has been toilet training for about a month now. ...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Learning Disabilities, Socialization/Social Skills, Toilet Training

Logic and a 4 Year Old Don't Go Together!

Posted on 2/12/2021

My 4 year old daughter is scared and I'm wondering if it's something we should be concerned about. She goes to bed fine (sleeps with the covers over her head because of her fears) but she ends up...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Anxieties, Fears, Bedtime/Sleep, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Parent Leadership and Authority

Why Do My Kids Hate Getting Dressed So Much?

Posted on 2/7/2021

Why do my kids hate getting dressed so much?! They are 2 and 5. It inevitably causes a battle, and when we finally depart someone is crying. I can’t get the diaper changed or clothes on, and the 5...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Arguments with Children, Chores/Responsibilities, Disobedience/Defiance, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, Tantrums

What's a Grandma to Do?

Posted on 1/31/2021

Hello. I raised my now 35-year-old son using John Rosemond’s methods, and he turned out great! Much to my dismay, however, he and his wife are not interested in raising their sons, 5 and 7, with...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Grandparents/Grandchildren

Posted on 1/28/2021

My grandson was adopted from an orphanage in India when he was 3 years old. My daughter and son-in-law have had him for 2 years as he will be 5 in June. This boy is and has been an unbelievingly...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Adoption/Foster Parent, Grandparents/Grandchildren, Toilet Training

Boys' Behavior is Ruining the Morning Routine

Posted on 1/28/2021

My boys are on the ticket system for disobedience and fighting. They have chores every morning after breakfast before we start homeschool and things are going off the rails so to speak with the...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Sibling Conflict

Dethrone the 5 year old

Posted on 1/25/2021

My daughter is 5. We are having (and have had for some time) tantrum, temper, screaming issues when told she doesn’t get her way for even the smallest things. I know that I have probably...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Disobedience/Defiance, Tantrums

Snacking 5 year old

Posted on 1/23/2021

Hello! We have stealing problem in our family. We read the information from your website, but we still cannot find the proper answer. Our 5-year old tries to sneak into the kitchen (usually moring...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Miscellaneous Discipline Problems

Answered in combination with follow up question

Posted on 1/23/2021

Toilet training a child with disabilities. Our four and a half year old daughter has a diagnosed global development delay and also hearing loss with some communication delays. Her vocabulary...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Developmental Issues (e.g. late talking), Toilet Training

Grandson Needs to be Held More Accountable

Posted on 1/15/2021

I just pulled an old John article out of my drawer that I have had for years. It was about how therapy can be detrimental to a child and rarely works. Also talked about kids emotions and feelings...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Aggression, Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Disobedience/Defiance, Divorce/Custody, Electronics (Computers/Video Games/Television/Cell Phones), Extracurricular Activities/Hobbies, Grandparents/Grandchildren, John's Discipline Methods, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Rebellious Behavior, Respect, School Issues, Single Parents, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Socialization/Social Skills, Step-Families

Discipline Now, Get Along Later

Posted on 1/10/2021

My husband and our 4 year old daughter do not "get along" very well and today we found out we are having our 3rd child that is another girl! (We have one boy, and now two girls). Does John have...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

The Bedtime Snack Dilemma

Posted on 1/9/2021

Hi! Lately my children (ages 5, 8, and 10) have started saying they’re hungry again an hour after dinner and right before bed. I’m certain it’s not a bedtime delay strategy because they still do...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Bedtime/Sleep, Food/Eating Problems, Mealtime/Eating, Parent Leadership and Authority

Alpha Speech is Needed - 3 Year Old Never Satisfied

Posted on 1/6/2021

Hello, We have 3yo twins, boy and girl. So let’s say there are good days and bad days: good days means he is in good mood, smiling, playing, and behaving - this is 20-30% of the time. The bad...

Ages: Toddler (18MOS-3 years), Pre-Preschool (3 Year Old), Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Alpha Speech, Arguments with Children, Bedtime/Sleep, Daycare/Preschool, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, Fathers, Food/Eating Problems, John's Discipline Methods, Mealtime/Eating, Miscellaneous Discipline Problems, Miscellaneous Editorial Columns, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority, Social Issues (fighting/arguing with friends), Spanking, Tantrums, Terrible Twos

Don't Ask, Do Tell

Posted on 12/16/2020

My 4 year old daughter refuses to listen to instructions given to her. Not always, but usually when it comes to dinner, cleaning up her room, and doing things that she needs to do. When she does...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Chores/Responsibilities, Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), Disobedience/Defiance, John's Discipline Methods, Mothers, Parent Leadership and Authority

She needs to stop talking.

Posted on 12/9/2020

Hello. Our recently turned 5 year old daughter talks nonstop, if we let her. She is very extroverted and appears to verbalize every thought that comes into her mind. Valid questions and...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years)

Topics: Character/Values (teaching), Consequences/Punishment, Discipline Methods (e.g. time-out), John's Discipline Methods, Parent Leadership and Authority, Socialization/Social Skills

"EAT!"

Posted on 11/25/2020

Our kids 6.5 yrs and 4.5 yrs used to watch the iPad with meals; we broke that habit by letting them color or read books, but we have to say ‘eat’ constantly for them to eat. The youngest stands...

Ages: Preschool (4-5 years), School Age (6-10 years)

Topics: Mealtime/Eating