Questions

The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

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10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

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Changing schools in high school

Posted on 2/1/2020

Our 15 year daughter has been in catholic school since she was 3 years old. Our intention was to put her in a public school for high school. We live in a middle to upper middler class...

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Law enforcement in school settings

Posted on 1/28/2020

What is your opinion on the use of School Resource Officers and how children and teenagers are now being arrested and/or prosecuted for both major (fighting, assault on staff, vandalism, drugs,...

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Is Child's Threat of Suicide a Cry for Help or for Attention?

Posted on 1/9/2020

My oldest is eleven and started middle school this year. Overall it has been a smooth transition. She has a great group of friends and likes school. She does not have a phone and has very limited...

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Should we cancel Christmas?

Posted on 12/16/2019

We are a family with 4 kids (13 year old boy, 13 year old girl, 11 year old girl, 4 year old girl). None of them have any electronics (since October 2019). The three older ones did have cell...

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Young Teenage Boy Has Problem To Solve

Posted on 12/2/2019

Finally: school and studies. Being in junior high now we are trying to encourage better study habits for our son. He has always found school easy and not brought work home to review while still...

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How Much Allowance Should I Give My Kids?

Posted on 12/2/2019

I have a few questions: In Teenproofing there is talk about allowance not connected to chores. I love the idea of teaching the kids about money responsibility, budgeting, etc., as discussed. Our...

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Grounded means...

Posted on 11/13/2019

My son is 13. He has been lying fairly often. He got a detention at school but told me he was getting help from the teacher with his work he didn’t understand. Of course I found out when the...

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The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

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Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

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Consult with your spouse first.

Posted on 9/5/2019

Hi, I am having trouble dealing with my step daughter that is 15. My husband and I have 5 children together. He has two and I have three. My husbands daughter has severe anger and behavioral...

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14 YO Boy Looking For Friends

Posted on 8/28/2019

My son is 14 years old. He is having a lot of issues around relationships with friends/girlfriends. He seems to be struggling with feeling secure in his relationships. He needs a lot of...

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Field Trip

Posted on 8/22/2019

My son is 13. He is in 8th grade. The school he is attending goes on an intercession trip once a year. We did not allow him to go last year because of immaturity and he has stomach issues and has...

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Beating the Bullies

Posted on 6/20/2019

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

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15 yo Daughter and Foolish Friends

Posted on 6/15/2019

15 year old daughter has been vaping, possible drinking & lying. She has put inappropriate photos referencing vaping, getting high and raiding our liquor cabinet on her Instagram only seen by...

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13yo struggles

Posted on 5/29/2019

My son is 13. He will be starting 8th grade this year. He got 5 detentions and two phone calls to the school from other parents saying he was bothering their kids. The detentions were for...

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Homeschool Blues

Posted on 3/19/2019

I homeschool my 13 year old son. We are fairly new to our current city and have recently made friends by joining a local co-op. My son was asked, by his new friends, to join an additional co-op....

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Standing up to a Bully

Posted on 3/15/2019

My son is 7th grade and at a new school. Middle school has been hard. Today a very big boy in his class who he normally is friends with pushed him in the hall because he was trying to show out in...

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Technology Addiction

Posted on 3/13/2019

I have a 13 year old son who has had a smart phone for one year. He is an academically hard working, popular kid who enjoys being with his friends and playing baseball and football. However, his...

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Prevailing not Travailing

Posted on 3/9/2019

My 14 year old daughter was mad at me about a consequence I gave her after clearly telling her what the expectations were. She knew what the rules were and broke them so I gave her the...

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Trim Teen Talk Time?

Posted on 2/22/2019

My son will be 16 In a month. When he was younger, he and I (his mother) would have 'talk time' - when we would lie in bed before he went to sleep to talk, share, etc. We stopped doing that a...

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Puberty and Lingerie Continues to be a problem

Posted on 2/21/2019

We are continuing to have a problem with my son, now 14, and girls clothes. I noticed some of my items missing recently, black camisole and a black slip. I found a bag in his closet filled with...

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7th grade boy and school tech use

Posted on 2/15/2019

My 7th grader boy is at a new school. He has gotten a detention for looking at baseball videos on his computer during class. So I grounded him and took everything away..once off being grounded he...

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Teenage drama

Posted on 2/5/2019

My 14 year old son had a very rough transition to high school this year. Although he has the ability, he is not performing well and has failed two classes last semester. This semester is not...

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Flowers for V-D for wife and daughter?

Posted on 1/31/2019

I buy my wife flowers for Valentine's Day and I'd like to buy some for my daughter as well, as an annual tradition. Are there any concerns with that, such as putting her on the same level as my...

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Some problems require more intense attention.

Posted on 1/6/2019

Hello, My question involves a 15 year old with a tragic story. She lost her father at 2 and a half to a freak accident on the job and then three years later she lost her mother to skin cancer. ...

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14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

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Mom frustrated with resistant 13-year-old daughter

Posted on 12/14/2018

My 13 year old daughter has always had an issue with team sports .She is having self esteem issues and wants to lose weight .She participates in horse riding once a week as the distance is usually...

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Fitting In

Posted on 12/5/2018

Hi have a soon to be 13 year old. He is in a new school, his old school was a Christian school. It has been somewhat of a struggle in middle school. From being the new student and being exposed to...

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Junk Food Junkie

Posted on 11/6/2018

We have made some nutritional changes to the family diet at home. We are limiting sugar and providing healthier snacks and fruits and veggies for all of us. However, I have reason to believe...

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Peers Will Make or Break 15 YO Girl

Posted on 10/24/2018

15 year old daughter confessed to me last night that she went to the park before school and had sex with a boy a few weeks ago. She has had her period, so she doesn't believe she is pregnant. She...

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The Pestering Teen...

Posted on 10/22/2018

We are struggling with my 14 year old son. He constantly pesters sister dad and myself. We take away all electronic devices and that does not solve the problem. He is getting more stubborn every...

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What to do when households have different rules for teen stepson?

Posted on 10/19/2018

My husband and I follow your columns (my mother quoted you regularly growing up, sometimes to our dismay) but now as a stepmother and father to a teenage boy, we find ourselves in a tough spot. We...

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Is Mom Micro-managing?

Posted on 10/15/2018

I just found my 14 y/o daughter has been hiding an electronic tablet in her room. She uses it "for homework and to talk to friends via instagram". She brought it from her dads house. She says I...

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Ah, the promises of a 13 year old...

Posted on 10/15/2018

What is your opinion on a 13 year old having an Instagram account? My son has promised he will keep his account private, share his password with me and only follow people he knows personally if I...

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Sticks and Stones

Posted on 9/27/2018

I have a 12 year old boy in 7th grade. He started a new private school this year. He used to go to a Christian private school. When kids argued and treated each other badly at the other school I...

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Strive

Posted on 9/26/2018

My step-daughter 14 has been telling her mom and dad on and off for years that she does not feel part of our household and wants to stay at her mom's house. This conversation usually starts up...

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Estranged Teen Son

Posted on 9/25/2018

I am recently divorced, my ex had two adopted children(her sisters kids, given up and taken away because of drugs/prison)....the children(girl 8, boy 13 now) were very undisciplined which caused...

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Entitled, Self-Centered 14 YO Boy

Posted on 9/17/2018

I have a question re. how to handle my son's awful behavior. He is 14 years old. His Father and I switched custody 6 months ago through mediation, following a lawsuit that my son requested because...

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Teen Proofing with Cell Phones

Posted on 9/12/2018

I am currently reading John's book Teen Proofing. In chapter 3 he discusses the six C-words, curfew, cash, car, cohorts, conflict, and consequences. He gives detailed explanations of how he and...

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Parenting Teen on Autism Spectrum

Posted on 9/7/2018

Currently raising 5th 13 year old, other children’s ages 18-31, have read Teen Proofing several times and purchased book for friends. What Teen Proofing publication can John recommend to help me...

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13 year old abusing computer privileges

Posted on 8/28/2018

I'm having a technology issue with my almost 13 year old. We have placed guidelines and restrictions on her computer use but she continues to abuse her privileges. She went all summer with no...

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Middle School Behaviors

Posted on 8/23/2018

Is there a section on this site for teachers? Where can I find information about dealing with behaviors in a school setting specifically middle school?

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Unmotivated Teenage Boy

Posted on 8/12/2018

My teenage son is not interested in engaging in anything that requires effort. He gives up on everything he tries after just one attempt and after much coaxing and prodding, refuses to try again....

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Puberty/Lingerie

Posted on 8/2/2018

I found young girls bras and panties in my 13 year old son's closet. I then noticed some of my clothes were missing, bra panties, camisols, tops. I attempted to talk to him about this but he won't...

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Pull the Plug on Social Media

Posted on 7/19/2018

Hi, I have a 15 year old daughter that has a SnapChat account. She recently went to camp for a month that doesn’t allow cell phones. While at camp she asked a friend to keep up with her streaks...

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The magic wand of threats

Posted on 7/18/2018

I have a 13 year old step son. He's threatened suicide for 2 years now and now he's threatening to hurt others, including his mom, his father and me. We have him talking to a therapist and...

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