Questions

Teen in charge spells disaster.

Posted on 6/2/2020

15yr old daughter is only happy if everything is going her way. If something doesn’t suit her she ignores the family at dinner and on picnics And other family outings. But when her friend comes...

Parenting Material is for Parents, Not Kids.

Posted on 6/1/2020

Is it ok to go through your material with our 12 year old son listening? It seems like he would understand better this way?

Disrespectful Tween

Posted on 5/22/2020

My 11 year old daughter gets upset when I correct her and calls me names in her heart not aloud; but she later tells me those rude things and apologises. (The most recent name she called me...

Dads Are Never Done

Posted on 4/12/2020

I'm currently going through a divorce. Parenting has gotten increasingly harder for obvious reasons, and I'm the only disciplinarian. I'm concerned my kids - or some of them - are too old for me...

The Terrible Twos Part II: The Teen Years

Posted on 2/27/2020

my daughter is 14 years old and she thinks she is crazy in love for a boy in her school , same grade. She doesn't have a smart phone . But she bought an old phone from a friend for 80 dollars and...

10 Year Old Testing Boundaries

Posted on 2/8/2020

I have been using the alpha speech. I make mistakes sometimes, escalating my voice because I'm frustrated. On the most part I'm pretty consistent. I noticed in alpha speech you do no use...

Ok To Believe In Your Son and Still Not Believe Him

Posted on 2/6/2020

My teenager has been caught with marijuana. He said he was done with it and a few days later, we found more. I have read Johns book on raising teens and remember that he said their is a time to...

Changing schools in high school

Posted on 2/1/2020

Our 15 year daughter has been in catholic school since she was 3 years old. Our intention was to put her in a public school for high school. We live in a middle to upper middler class...

Is Child's Threat of Suicide a Cry for Help or for Attention?

Posted on 1/9/2020

My oldest is eleven and started middle school this year. Overall it has been a smooth transition. She has a great group of friends and likes school. She does not have a phone and has very limited...

Relationship Reboot

Posted on 12/9/2019

This is a Part II to an early question submitted about a very strong-willed and increasingly mouthy 16-year old daughter. Please bear with someone who has subscribed for YEARS without submitting...

The Struggle is Real

Posted on 11/6/2019

We have struggled with our child being ashamed to be seen with either of us (her parents) in public, to the point that she acts in a way that hurts us. She is now in middle school (7th grade);...

End Micromanagement of Grades by Lowering the Boom

Posted on 10/15/2019

I have two sons (13 and 14 years old) and one step son (12 years old). They've gone to a Christian school their whole lives and are all saved. My issue is with my 13 year old. He is very smart as...

Teach Tweenager How to Manage Anger

Posted on 10/8/2019

Hi There, My daughter will be 11 yo on February, she is such a sweet/sensetive girl who likes to please others, but when she becomes angry she can not control it , she melts down for a while then...

Defining family morals.

Posted on 8/9/2019

My husband and I recently found out that our 16 year old son is having sex with his girlfriend. As you can imagine, we are extremely disappointed. We aren't sure what to do, if anything. Our...

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Posted on 8/7/2019

How do you know when it's the right time to talk to your child about sex? We want to be ahead of the game and make sure he hears it from us, but don't want to do it too soon.

God's Anointing was an Annoyed Teen

Posted on 7/14/2019

16 year old does not want to attend church. Should we expect her go most of the time? We've told her she can take breaks because we understand our small church does not have teens her age, other...

It's Not Too Late!

Posted on 7/8/2019

Semi-independence has reared its ugly head in our youngest who goes off to college in the fall. Our mostly obedient and kindhearted daughter has basically grown a head so big we are surprised she...

Parents Concerned about Sexually Active 16-Year-Old

Posted on 6/25/2019

Our 16 year old daughter has lost her virginity. I am concerned that she is continuing to be sexually active. I don’t know when she would have the opportunity but I’m Not naive to the possibility...

Negative thoughts about self at twelve.

Posted on 6/24/2019

My twelve year old daughter is currently doing a Bible study. She was asked to list 5 things she believed about herself. She listed all negative things. "I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'm an...

Beating the Bullies

Posted on 6/20/2019

Here’s a topic I’ve been struggling with that I just saw John address in a Facebook post – mean kids. My oldest son (9) was complaining about some kids at his summer camp saying things like...

Going With Your Gut

Posted on 6/5/2019

I have a 17 yo daughter. I foolishly gave in to giving her an iPhone when she was 13. My husband died 4 years ago. Because of a rebellious attitude of her older sister, I realized these iPhones...

Standing up to a Bully

Posted on 3/15/2019

My son is 7th grade and at a new school. Middle school has been hard. Today a very big boy in his class who he normally is friends with pushed him in the hall because he was trying to show out in...

Technology Addiction

Posted on 3/13/2019

I have a 13 year old son who has had a smart phone for one year. He is an academically hard working, popular kid who enjoys being with his friends and playing baseball and football. However, his...

Prevailing not Travailing

Posted on 3/9/2019

My 14 year old daughter was mad at me about a consequence I gave her after clearly telling her what the expectations were. She knew what the rules were and broke them so I gave her the...

Trim Teen Talk Time?

Posted on 2/22/2019

My son will be 16 In a month. When he was younger, he and I (his mother) would have 'talk time' - when we would lie in bed before he went to sleep to talk, share, etc. We stopped doing that a...

Puberty and Lingerie Continues to be a problem

Posted on 2/21/2019

We are continuing to have a problem with my son, now 14, and girls clothes. I noticed some of my items missing recently, black camisole and a black slip. I found a bag in his closet filled with...

Teenage drama

Posted on 2/5/2019

My 14 year old son had a very rough transition to high school this year. Although he has the ability, he is not performing well and has failed two classes last semester. This semester is not...

Lifestyle Advice

Posted on 1/31/2019

About 18 months ago, our now 16 year old son told us he is gay. We have a good relationship with him. He is a Christian as are we. Our family goes to church every week and is very involved in...

14 year old farmer's son is disrespectful to Mother

Posted on 12/31/2018

My son, who turned 14 in November, has become very disrespectful to his mother. We live on a farm and the place is not clean to his liking. He thinks his mother is lazy, won't pick up after...

Mom frustrated with resistant 13-year-old daughter

Posted on 12/14/2018

My 13 year old daughter has always had an issue with team sports .She is having self esteem issues and wants to lose weight .She participates in horse riding once a week as the distance is usually...

16 year old lacks motivation

Posted on 12/9/2018

My son has become increasingly argumentative and disrespectful. He only seems to care about material things. He is now 16 years old and he is working with a job coach to help him with getting a...

Fitting In

Posted on 12/5/2018

Hi have a soon to be 13 year old. He is in a new school, his old school was a Christian school. It has been somewhat of a struggle in middle school. From being the new student and being exposed to...

To Curfew or Not To Curfew

Posted on 11/7/2018

My 18 yr old daughter attends college but lives at home. She makes stellar grades and is attending on a merit scholarship. She does chores around the house. She is a responsible person. My...

Dad's Not on Board

Posted on 11/4/2018

Hi there, Susan Morley recently answered a question I posed concerning my son who has been caught with vape materials. She recommended strict consequences which I want to impose. His father,...

Worried Grandmother

Posted on 11/3/2018

My granddaughter has OCD and has a therapist and a psychiatrist (who prescribes meds). I read your article stating you feel that kids with anxiety, mental health issues do not need meds. Does...

Teenager Vaping

Posted on 10/30/2018

Hello, My son is 17 and will be 18 in 3 months. He spends 1/2 his time at my house and 1/2 his time at his dad's house. His dad and I have found vape pods 3-4 times over the past 2 years and have...

The Pestering Teen...

Posted on 10/22/2018

We are struggling with my 14 year old son. He constantly pesters sister dad and myself. We take away all electronic devices and that does not solve the problem. He is getting more stubborn every...

The High School Experiment

Posted on 10/22/2018

I feel like I ask the same questions all the time. My 12th grader is stressing me out, he is barely making his grades in school coming in at B, C, D's and E's. He's a good kid but I suspect...

What to do when households have different rules for teen stepson?

Posted on 10/19/2018

My husband and I follow your columns (my mother quoted you regularly growing up, sometimes to our dismay) but now as a stepmother and father to a teenage boy, we find ourselves in a tough spot. We...

Is Mom Micro-managing?

Posted on 10/15/2018

I just found my 14 y/o daughter has been hiding an electronic tablet in her room. She uses it "for homework and to talk to friends via instagram". She brought it from her dads house. She says I...

Estranged Teen Son

Posted on 9/25/2018

I am recently divorced, my ex had two adopted children(her sisters kids, given up and taken away because of drugs/prison)....the children(girl 8, boy 13 now) were very undisciplined which caused...

Teen Proofing with Cell Phones

Posted on 9/12/2018

I am currently reading John's book Teen Proofing. In chapter 3 he discusses the six C-words, curfew, cash, car, cohorts, conflict, and consequences. He gives detailed explanations of how he and...

Revisiting the teen driving issue.

Posted on 9/11/2018

Our son had no major violations for six months and we agreed to pay for drivers Ed. He is nearing completion and set to test for his license in October. We currently drive him to career tech...

Parenting Teen on Autism Spectrum

Posted on 9/7/2018

Currently raising 5th 13 year old, other children’s ages 18-31, have read Teen Proofing several times and purchased book for friends. What Teen Proofing publication can John recommend to help me...

Teen Dating

Posted on 9/4/2018

Hello -- Do you have any collection of articles about teen dating? (it did not seem to be listed as a subject) Any overall rules of thumb to apply? We have a 16 year old boy that is getting...

Adult Children Moving Back Home

Posted on 8/24/2018

What would be your set of household rules for 2 adult children living with you (one recently returned home after living 2 years with friends who is currently working part time and finishing school...

Find aFriend for college student

Posted on 8/9/2018

What is your opinion about phone apps like "Find My Friends" that allows parents to know their children's location? I had never heard of this but when my oldest left to college, she introduced me...

Puberty/Lingerie

Posted on 8/2/2018

I found young girls bras and panties in my 13 year old son's closet. I then noticed some of my clothes were missing, bra panties, camisols, tops. I attempted to talk to him about this but he won't...

Pull the Plug on Social Media

Posted on 7/19/2018

Hi, I have a 15 year old daughter that has a SnapChat account. She recently went to camp for a month that doesn’t allow cell phones. While at camp she asked a friend to keep up with her streaks...

Nixing Negative Talk

Posted on 7/11/2018

My 13 year old son is Negative Nellie and complains about everything. And by everything I mean everything. This behavior really started in February of this year when we sold our home but has...

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