"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

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How to get preschooler to entertain himself?

Posted on 1/8/2014

I have read your articles about parenting only children and my husband and I agree with the idea that our 5 year old son should not be an extension of our marriage but an individual member of our...

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4 yo biting nails and overbooked

Posted on 10/23/2013

I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter that has started biting her nails in the last month or two...I have noticed she seems more aggressive/hyper/sassy than she use to be. She started pre K this year...

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12 year old : son wants to quit football after one practice

Posted on 8/7/2013

My athletic 12 yr old son has dreamed about playing tackle football all his life. He played quarter back for 3 seasons of flag football and kept asking to play tackle. I signed him up this year...

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Kid hates camp

Posted on 7/23/2013

My 10-year-old son is having a miserable experience at the two-week camp we sent him to. He says he hates it there, that the other kids don't like him, and the counselor he was assigned to is...

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Teenager : Almost 17 year old SON needs motivation to get job

Posted on 6/12/2013

For months we have been trying to get our son to get a part time job. He would much rather Facebook,SpongeBob or play his music/instruments. Attempts he has made are subpar at best (although he...

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7 year old : Boy Scouts

Posted on 6/3/2013

If my son joins Boy Scouts is it the same as if he were to play baseball, soccer, football you know in terms of doing things together as a family. In scouting they explained that you will be his...

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7 year old : lazy 7 year old

Posted on 5/7/2013

My 7.5 year old son has played 3 years of t-ball and is now in his first year of instructional/coach pitch baseball. He BEGGED us not to sign him up but we thought it would be faster moving than...

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9 year old : When To tolerate ugly behavior of peers and coaches

Posted on 4/9/2013

My newly 9 yr old son just joined a kid pitch baseball team in our community. My son has always played sports and gets a lot out of them. This year he has moved up to a group of much bigger and...

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3 year old : Good age to begin music lessons?

Posted on 11/1/2012

What is an appropriate age for a child to begin learning a musical instrument? I've looked into lessons in my area and teachers accept children as young as 2 or 3 for violin and piano lessons. My...

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11 year old : 11 year old: Sports

Posted on 5/10/2012

My son is 11 and in the fifth grade. He is not very athletic, nor does he try hard. Sure he wants to be good, but not through work. He wants to magically become talented. We continue to tell him,...

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5 year old : Emotional 5 year old

Posted on 2/17/2012

Daughter tends to give up very easily, eg, in gymnastics, won't do half of the things she is asked to do, and if she can;t do what they ask, she sits and pouts or crys. She will eventually rejoin...

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3 year old : 3 year old organized sports

Posted on 10/18/2011

My 3 year old is in a soccer program and has a hard time listening to what the coaches are telling him to do. The coaches are not very assertive at all but I don't know if that should matter or...

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11 year old : outside activities

Posted on 9/3/2011

My son does not want to do Boy Scouts any longer. I think because it is not all fun. It requires work. My husband wants him to stay in for future benefit as an adult. I am unsure making him stay...

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11 year old : This is a thank you note

Posted on 8/3/2011

First I would like to thank you for writing the book Because I Said So. It has liberated me! I give away copies of this book on a regular basis. Second, I would like to thank you for the advice...

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11 year old : hobbies

Posted on 8/1/2011

We have an eleven year old daughter who probably needs some hobbies. I've read and are still reading your books and think hobbies are a good idea, but how exactly do we interest her and get her...

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Swimming Lessons for 3.5 year old

Posted on 6/24/2011

I signed-up my 3.5 year old for swimming lessons because I'm pregnant and worried about his safety. Today was the first day; it was 68 degrees outside. He did well at first, but began shivering...

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Kid's Sports Teams

Posted on 6/19/2011

My husband and I have for four children ages 6 -11 that play one sport per child per season, most offered through our small catholic school. We want to adopt the no sports in the summer mentality...

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Inability to Follow-Through

Posted on 2/2/2011

Unfortunately, I see a great deal of my personal character flaws in my daughter and would like help in how to help her. I am a smart, well read middle aged woman who should have finished college...

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declining interest

Posted on 1/29/2011

From the age of 2 my daughter was in lots of activities. She is now 7 and seems to be losing interest in all the activities she has done and is very reluctant to try anything new. she is...

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Refusing to participate

Posted on 1/19/2011

My daughter is 3 years (and 2 months). This fall I signed her up for a toddler dance class which is a gross motor movement class...hopping, skipping, running, followed by a story and snack. It...

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clothing issues

Posted on 11/15/2010

My 5 year old daughter refuses to wear socks and other clothes like a leotard for dance/gymnastics, coats, etc. Normally, I give her free rein to wear what she feels is right. However, her feet...

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Regarding piano lessons question

Posted on 11/14/2010

I understand your position on not forcing piano practice and the free reign of kids to figure out for themselves what hobbies they have. But I'm in the same boat - we bought the piano and we're...

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Resubmission (shorter) of 11/2/10 piano lessons question

Posted on 11/12/2010

Is it appropriate to "make" children take piano lessons? What is a fair amount of time to continue the lessons if the children don't like/want to take them?

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Missed Opportunity

Posted on 10/21/2010

Through this site I feel like you've personally worked with our family through the years & I thank you for that. So here is my current question. We just had our last day of soccer & as we're...

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travel meltdowns

Posted on 8/6/2008

Do you have any tips on extended travel with children? We're going to a week-long family camp with our 3-year-old and 1-year-old. The kids love it, but by mid-week, every kid in camp seems to have...

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13 yo: summer camp homesickness

Posted on 8/6/2008

My 13 yo daughter is in the second of a four-week sleepaway camp that she wanted to go to. She was experiencing normal homesickness, then was fine, and then fell apart today when we had our first...

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Teen Social Outcast

Posted on 8/5/2008

My son, 13, is a video game addict. I read all the articles so I know your stance on cold turkey and I agree. He's very smart, but get's average - poor grades because he just does not care. ...

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3 yo bored preschooler

Posted on 8/5/2008

I am writing you with a question about my 3 1/2 year old son. We have, for a long time, noticed that he has problems keeping himself occupied for any period of time. We have followed your advice...

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rock n roll son

Posted on 7/21/2008

my 13 yo son LOVES rock n roll. dad's alltime fave rock band is rush. they've been to concerts together and have all the music on ipods. he mainly loves zeppelin, etc. son plays very good...

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Piano lessons / Music lessons

Posted on 8/26/2007

Q. The other piano question from 8/21 was coincidentally submitted by another member. I agree with your curriculum assessment as that was our experience. We seem to have found a teacher who is...

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15 YO: Problems with a Boyfriend

Posted on 12/10/2006

My 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend who is her first and also a real punk. We had a great relationship with her until this boy came along and now all has changed. She has a soft heart and he...

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toys

Posted on 11/2/2006

I've read what you've written about children and toys and agree that kids have way too many toys these days and that most of them are electronic. I think Legos, Tinkertoys, crayons, play-doh etc....

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Accordion answer clarification

Posted on 9/27/2006

I just want to make sure I understood your answer. You mean that I need to see him practice for a month WITHOUT MY TELLING HIM, before we will purchase the new instrument, right. If that's what...

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Biological father shows up at 12 years of age

Posted on 9/3/2006

I am wondering as since of last Oct. 05 my 12 year old daughter who is a peach, love her to death of course at the same time I want to kill her ya know that whole pre-teen junk. My question is...

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Poor sport

Posted on 8/25/2006

My 8 yo old son is a poor sport. His dad loves sports and couldn't wait until our son was old enough to play on teams. He just got kicked off of his soccer team because of his rudeness to other...

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Spitting 5-year-old

Posted on 8/19/2006

Last night my son spit on 2 kids on his baseball team at the game. He did not get to eat snacks with the team, and went straight to bed when he got home. This morning he was told that as a...

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Unsportsmanlike at 5

Posted on 8/19/2006

My 5 year old son has recently started playing t-ball and I'm concerned about his "unsportsmanlike" behavior. He says things like "bad game" to the opposing team and when he's in the field he...

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First organized sports

Posted on 8/19/2006

Dad wanted our 5 yr old in soccer .. and then they asked him to coach. I'm with Rosemond on not rushing these sports .. especially when they are during the DINNER HOUR! HELLO! In any case, dad...

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Karate

Posted on 8/12/2006

My son is six and small in size for his age. He will be starting first grade this year. I hear horror stories about fifth grade boys getting into fights without much more consequences for their...

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Rebellious teenager

Posted on 8/4/2006

We have been dealing for three years now with a completlely out of control teenager. The issues have included running away (multiple times), drugs, sexual activity with several different...

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Turning the corner

Posted on 7/25/2006

I have a soon-to-be-10th grader who has a history of not doing homework. Over a third of the assignments in the classes he does not like are not handed in on time. We have used some of the...

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Will Not Get Over It

Posted on 7/18/2006

I have 6 children and feel they're "turning out" extremely well. I was blessed with great "stuff" to work with. It must not be my parenting skills because one of my girls has been a handful since...

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